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Need To Vent About Family


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8 replies to this topic

#1 glutenfreemamax2

 
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Posted 28 October 2010 - 01:00 PM

Uggghhhh!! We went camping last weekend. I packed all my food to take with me. My husband keeps complaining how expensive it is. I ran to the grocery store while we were there, and I came accross gluten-free Bisquick. I can't find it near where I live, so I got it to take home. He looked at the reciept, and in front of everyone said " I'll tell you what, if your tests are negitive, I want you to reimburst me for all this gluten free crap". I was in tears. How could someone that is suposed to support me through thick and thin say something that mean?!? My in laws made dinner ever night. I would say "what's in that? Did you put flour?" Well just a little would be the answer.

I also get "You've been find for the last 10 years, why now are you deciding that you have a gluten allergy?" I'm NOT deciding. This is how it is, and I have to deal with it. No, it's not fun to always have your stomach hurt. My husband said yesterday "IS it really making you feel that much better? Because your still complaining about your stomach" I was so upset. I felt like saying "Well if you would take this seriously and not gluten me without thinking, then MAYBE just MAYBE I would feel better. He just dosen't get it.

Of course my labs came back negitive. So now he really thinks i'm making this whole thing up. A year ago the tested me for everything under the sun. I was showing signs of thyroid, then I was told fibromyalgia, then I was told IBS, then I was told I was just fat, then I was told it was the lactose. It just went on and on. Now i find something that is making me feel better, and all i get is "how long are you going to eat like this?" Yes, it's expensive. There is no doubt in my mind. But I'm starting to finally feel "normal" and I'm starting to sleep.

Do you know what it's like to wake up 3-5 times a night?!!? IT STINKS! I'm FINALLY starting to sleep. But my family dosen't understand that because they are sleeping at night when I'm up.

Uggghh. I wish there was a class to put them in so they could understand...

Ok, thank for listening.
  • 0
Gluten free since 10/1/10
3 year old gluten free since 10/16/10
Diagnosed with IBS in 2000
Appeared on the Dr.Phil Show 9/23/10
started working with Dr.Phil's nurtitionist and he discovered the gluten/dairy intolerance
Labs drawn on 10/16/10 waiting on results
10 pounds and 15 inches off so far!

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#2 Dixiebell

 
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Posted 28 October 2010 - 01:20 PM

Sounds like you need to wake your husband up everytime you are sick. :P Seriously though, you can do this without spending so much extra money. Canned or frozen veggies are not expensive at all. Fresh meats are still the same price as they were before you changed your diet. In the begining I found myself trying all the new food stuff, yes all the pre-packaged foods are a little more, and now we just have a few staples that I will buy.
If you need ideas for meals this would be the place to ask.
I am sorry that your husband hurt your feelings.
  • 0
Started on this journey w/ my 9 yr old son after a bout w/ the flu in the fall of 2009.
2 neg celiac blood tests, mine was also neg. No endo done. Son had x-ray, showing severe constipation. Son has latex allergy. KP for both of us.
Long family history of bowel problems, auto-immune and all sorts of cancers. My G-mother informed me that she was put on a gluten free diet after she had my mom (1950's), of course she stopped when she felt better. She has had problems ever since I can remember.
So here we are! I do have my son's Dr to thank for even bringing up celiac! Thank You Dr.B!
My adult daughter also has been helped by eating gluten-free.

#3 ravenwoodglass

 
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Posted 28 October 2010 - 02:28 PM

Actually you should wake your husband up when you are sick at night. A little extra bouncing on the bed, a few large groans, an elbow in the ribs etc. I'm only half kidding on that. Being awakened by cramps and D is a classic celiac symptom and also make sure your doctor know that is happening as it is NOT a symptom of IBS. The previous poster had a good point about going with whole unprocessed foods. It is cheaper and will help cut down on the CC risk. I am sorry your with someone who is so unsupportive. It sounds like he needs some education about celiac and a bit of it on caring also. I hope you feeling better and dancing circles around that guy soon. Hang in there.
  • 0
Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

#4 Cypressmyst

 
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Posted 28 October 2010 - 09:30 PM

Oh...we'd be talking about the big D...and I'm not talking about Diaria. <_<

I would have started WW3 if my husband was ever that rude. This is your health, it isn't in your head, Doctors know next to nothing about true health. Make him do a little research on it or tell him to get the hell out of your life. You don't need this kind of aggravation. Especially not while you are trying to heal.

The bottom line is you are telling him you feel better gluten-free and he is not hearing you. That is a relationship problem that has nothing to do with gluten per se.

Contrast that with my husband who went gluten-free to be supportive of me and found out his heartburn of 20 years went away. You don't need to have an unsupportive jerk in your life, there are good men out there.

Time for your husband to shape up or ship out. B)


*Hugs for you*
  • 3
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#5 shopgirl

 
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Posted 29 October 2010 - 07:12 AM

That's awful but it sounds like this runs a lot deeper than whether or not you're eating gluten-free. Counseling, maybe? Because the way he's treating you? Not cool.

I was nervous that some of the special foods I need to eat not necessarily processed foods either would be more expensive and my family came right out and said, "It's about you being healthy, not about the money." And we're definitely not a wealthy bunch. It's about being supportive of someone's health, not cost or special foods or diets or allergies.
  • 3
"My experience has been that there is, surprisingly, always hope." - Eleven

Positive blood test & endoscopy / Gluten-free 10-07-10 / Dairy-free / Soy-free

#6 LDJofDenver

 
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Posted 29 October 2010 - 07:33 AM

Just curious, were you eating gluten free prior to being tested? That could result in a negative.

And I empathize with you on that "just a little" -- I mean, if someone had a person over for dinner that had a peanut allergy they wouldn't even dream of putting "just a little peanut butter" in what they're cooking. Why is this (gluten) hard to perceive? We had a luncheon at work where the sales staff prepared dishes - Mexican food theme - and one of the guys came into my office and told me it was safe for me to eat his dish because he probably only used 1/4 cup flour in it. !!!!! Only! I'm sure I just looked at him like he was nuts.
  • 1
Diagnosed 8-8-08 (I think I'll remember that date!)
Positive blood panel
Endoscopy a little later on confirmed, via Small Intestine Biopsy
Adult son diagnosed Celiac in his late 20s
Suspect my Mother undiagnosed Celiac

#7 glutenfreemamax2

 
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Posted 30 October 2010 - 03:48 PM

I am in counseling. I'm wondering if it's how I preceve what he says, or what he actually says. He thinks I take stuff out of contex, that he is just jokeing. If anyone saw my episode of Dr. Phil, Dr.Phil made it really clear to him that I laugh at the time, but it really hurts my feelings.

Uggghh...life, marraige and kids. No one ever said it was easy. I had a bad childhood and i'm trying to deal with that. I think I was gluten intolerant from birth...


I was only gluten-free for 1 week before I got tested. I heard that it took 2-3 weeks to get out of your system?
Thanks for all the replies!
  • 0
Gluten free since 10/1/10
3 year old gluten free since 10/16/10
Diagnosed with IBS in 2000
Appeared on the Dr.Phil Show 9/23/10
started working with Dr.Phil's nurtitionist and he discovered the gluten/dairy intolerance
Labs drawn on 10/16/10 waiting on results
10 pounds and 15 inches off so far!

#8 Hamster101

 
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Posted 31 October 2010 - 01:22 AM

I think even just a week can make a huge difference, depending on how badly damaged you were before that and how strongly you went gluten free. If you cut it out, as well as lactose, right from the start you would probably heal faster than someone still eating lactose, because it is notoriously hard to digest.

Though my parents were very supportive, one of my grandparents took it upon herself to make my first few weeks of my lactose fee diet hell. I had to stay at her house for a week, the reason why escapes me now, but that meant she was feeding me three meals virtually every day.

I guarantee almost every one had lactose in.

Since then we found out about the wheat intolerance, but the dairy seems to be an aggravator - if I've got glutened, lactose makes it a hell of a lot worse. I ended up being rather rude to my nan, when she would insist on making food I was allergic to, and refused to eat round their house for a few weeks (they do dinner on saturdays). Mine have finally seen the light, because they say the difference it made to me as a person.

Your husband there needs an attitude adjustment. I understand starting off can be majorly expensive - When I first went gluten free only a few weeks ago I was trying everything under the sun that was packaged as 'gluten free'. it really does add up and though my mum still buys them for me, I tell her not to because of the cost. I'd rather she bought a selection of salad items I know I can eat than one packet of chilli that costs four times that of a can I can also eat safely.

I hope they see the light soon. If they don't, get tough. This is your health and you shouldnt have to take that while you're trying to heal. I've been there, and it's bad enough without the aggravation.

*e-hugs*
  • 1
Dairy free: May '10
Gluten free: October '10


"When life gives you lemons, but you wanted lemonade, don't give up. Your dream is still possible, and it will be so much sweeter made with your own hands."

#9 laurelfla

 
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Posted 31 October 2010 - 07:13 PM

Just wanted to say hang in there! And I am so glad that you are feeling better after all you have been through. And remember, just because tests come back negative does not mean your system isn't better off without gluten.
As far as the gluten-free packaged stuff, I think there is a place for that. When you have to cut out so many things you are used to, I think it's okay to pamper yourself and have some fun products to try now and then! And as far as the cost, is he counting pennies? I'm sure there's a way to accommodate buying some new stuff by trimming back in other areas, and as someone else above said, it's your health -- the $$ is secondary!

I am in counseling. I'm wondering if it's how I preceve what he says, or what he actually says. He thinks I take stuff out of contex, that he is just jokeing. If anyone saw my episode of Dr. Phil, Dr.Phil made it really clear to him that I laugh at the time, but it really hurts my feelings.

Uggghh...life, marraige and kids. No one ever said it was easy. I had a bad childhood and i'm trying to deal with that. I think I was gluten intolerant from birth...


I was only gluten-free for 1 week before I got tested. I heard that it took 2-3 weeks to get out of your system?
Thanks for all the replies!


  • 1
diagnosed 8/05 through positive bloodwork & biopsy
gluten-free since then!

"Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Theodore Roethke




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