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Need To Vent About Family

glutenfreemamax2

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glutenfreemamax2 Enthusiast
glutenfreemamax2
Posted

Uggghhhh!! We went camping last weekend. I packed all my food to take with me. My husband keeps complaining how expensive it is. I ran to the grocery store while we were there, and I came accross gluten-free Bisquick. I can't find it near where I live, so I got it to take home. He looked at the reciept, and in front of everyone said " I'll tell you what, if your tests are negitive, I want you to reimburst me for all this gluten free crap". I was in tears. How could someone that is suposed to support me through thick and thin say something that mean?!? My in laws made dinner ever night. I would say "what's in that? Did you put flour?" Well just a little would be the answer.

I also get "You've been find for the last 10 years, why now are you deciding that you have a gluten allergy?" I'm NOT deciding. This is how it is, and I have to deal with it. No, it's not fun to always have your stomach hurt. My husband said yesterday "IS it really making you feel that much better? Because your still complaining about your stomach" I was so upset. I felt like saying "Well if you would take this seriously and not gluten me without thinking, then MAYBE just MAYBE I would feel better. He just dosen't get it.

Of course my labs came back negitive. So now he really thinks i'm making this whole thing up. A year ago the tested me for everything under the sun. I was showing signs of thyroid, then I was told fibromyalgia, then I was told IBS, then I was told I was just fat, then I was told it was the lactose. It just went on and on. Now i find something that is making me feel better, and all i get is "how long are you going to eat like this?" Yes, it's expensive. There is no doubt in my mind. But I'm starting to finally feel "normal" and I'm starting to sleep.

Do you know what it's like to wake up 3-5 times a night?!!? IT STINKS! I'm FINALLY starting to sleep. But my family dosen't understand that because they are sleeping at night when I'm up.

Uggghh. I wish there was a class to put them in so they could understand...

Ok, thank for listening.

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Dixiebell Contributor
Dixiebell
Posted

Sounds like you need to wake your husband up everytime you are sick. :P Seriously though, you can do this without spending so much extra money. Canned or frozen veggies are not expensive at all. Fresh meats are still the same price as they were before you changed your diet. In the begining I found myself trying all the new food stuff, yes all the pre-packaged foods are a little more, and now we just have a few staples that I will buy.

If you need ideas for meals this would be the place to ask.

I am sorry that your husband hurt your feelings.

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ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

Actually you should wake your husband up when you are sick at night. A little extra bouncing on the bed, a few large groans, an elbow in the ribs etc. I'm only half kidding on that. Being awakened by cramps and D is a classic celiac symptom and also make sure your doctor know that is happening as it is NOT a symptom of IBS. The previous poster had a good point about going with whole unprocessed foods. It is cheaper and will help cut down on the CC risk. I am sorry your with someone who is so unsupportive. It sounds like he needs some education about celiac and a bit of it on caring also. I hope you feeling better and dancing circles around that guy soon. Hang in there.

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Cypressmyst Explorer
Cypressmyst
Posted

Oh...we'd be talking about the big D...and I'm not talking about Diaria. <_<

I would have started WW3 if my husband was ever that rude. This is your health, it isn't in your head, Doctors know next to nothing about true health. Make him do a little research on it or tell him to get the hell out of your life. You don't need this kind of aggravation. Especially not while you are trying to heal.

The bottom line is you are telling him you feel better gluten-free and he is not hearing you. That is a relationship problem that has nothing to do with gluten per se.

Contrast that with my husband who went gluten-free to be supportive of me and found out his heartburn of 20 years went away. You don't need to have an unsupportive jerk in your life, there are good men out there.

Time for your husband to shape up or ship out. B)

*Hugs for you*

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shopgirl Contributor
shopgirl
Posted

That's awful but it sounds like this runs a lot deeper than whether or not you're eating gluten-free. Counseling, maybe? Because the way he's treating you? Not cool.

I was nervous that some of the special foods I need to eat

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LDJofDenver Apprentice
LDJofDenver
Posted

Just curious, were you eating gluten free prior to being tested? That could result in a negative.

And I empathize with you on that "just a little" -- I mean, if someone had a person over for dinner that had a peanut allergy they wouldn't even dream of putting "just a little peanut butter" in what they're cooking. Why is this (gluten) hard to perceive? We had a luncheon at work where the sales staff prepared dishes - Mexican food theme - and one of the guys came into my office and told me it was safe for me to eat his dish because he probably only used 1/4 cup flour in it. !!!!! Only! I'm sure I just looked at him like he was nuts.

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glutenfreemamax2 Enthusiast
glutenfreemamax2
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Posted

I am in counseling. I'm wondering if it's how I preceve what he says, or what he actually says. He thinks I take stuff out of contex, that he is just jokeing. If anyone saw my episode of Dr. Phil, Dr.Phil made it really clear to him that I laugh at the time, but it really hurts my feelings.

Uggghh...life, marraige and kids. No one ever said it was easy. I had a bad childhood and i'm trying to deal with that. I think I was gluten intolerant from birth...

I was only gluten-free for 1 week before I got tested. I heard that it took 2-3 weeks to get out of your system?

Thanks for all the replies!

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Hamster101 Rookie
Hamster101
Posted

I think even just a week can make a huge difference, depending on how badly damaged you were before that and how strongly you went gluten free. If you cut it out, as well as lactose, right from the start you would probably heal faster than someone still eating lactose, because it is notoriously hard to digest.

Though my parents were very supportive, one of my grandparents took it upon herself to make my first few weeks of my lactose fee diet hell. I had to stay at her house for a week, the reason why escapes me now, but that meant she was feeding me three meals virtually every day.

I guarantee almost every one had lactose in.

Since then we found out about the wheat intolerance, but the dairy seems to be an aggravator - if I've got glutened, lactose makes it a hell of a lot worse. I ended up being rather rude to my nan, when she would insist on making food I was allergic to, and refused to eat round their house for a few weeks (they do dinner on saturdays). Mine have finally seen the light, because they say the difference it made to me as a person.

Your husband there needs an attitude adjustment. I understand starting off can be majorly expensive - When I first went gluten free only a few weeks ago I was trying everything under the sun that was packaged as 'gluten free'. it really does add up and though my mum still buys them for me, I tell her not to because of the cost. I'd rather she bought a selection of salad items I know I can eat than one packet of chilli that costs four times that of a can I can also eat safely.

I hope they see the light soon. If they don't, get tough. This is your health and you shouldnt have to take that while you're trying to heal. I've been there, and it's bad enough without the aggravation.

*e-hugs*

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laurelfla Enthusiast
laurelfla
Posted

Just wanted to say hang in there! And I am so glad that you are feeling better after all you have been through. And remember, just because tests come back negative does not mean your system isn't better off without gluten.

As far as the gluten-free packaged stuff, I think there is a place for that. When you have to cut out so many things you are used to, I think it's okay to pamper yourself and have some fun products to try now and then! And as far as the cost, is he counting pennies? I'm sure there's a way to accommodate buying some new stuff by trimming back in other areas, and as someone else above said, it's your health -- the $$ is secondary!

I am in counseling. I'm wondering if it's how I preceve what he says, or what he actually says. He thinks I take stuff out of contex, that he is just jokeing. If anyone saw my episode of Dr. Phil, Dr.Phil made it really clear to him that I laugh at the time, but it really hurts my feelings.

Uggghh...life, marraige and kids. No one ever said it was easy. I had a bad childhood and i'm trying to deal with that. I think I was gluten intolerant from birth...

I was only gluten-free for 1 week before I got tested. I heard that it took 2-3 weeks to get out of your system?

Thanks for all the replies!

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