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Major Meltdown Yesterday


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27 replies to this topic

#16 FooGirlsMom

 
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Posted 08 December 2010 - 12:22 PM

Have you ever tried to grow your own corn? I ADORE corn, like you - any form it's in, I love this stuff. On going gluten free (I'm at about a year gluten-free now), it looked like corn was a big problem for me. But now, after a year, I've discovered that I'm really sensitive to gluten, and many, many of the things I assumed were intolerances have been turning out to be gluten contamination. Corn is one of the top ones that gets gluten cc, and it's high on the suspect list of 'things that are really gluten cc' for me. I'm growing my own, to check, as soon as it's the right season. If I could have this stuff back, I don't care if I have to become Corn Farmer Joan, I'm doing it!

I've spoken to some other sensitive folk who can get fresh corn at the produce section if it's still wrapped in its husk. They wash the outside husk with gluten free soap and water and then carefully peel it so that if there is any gluten left it doesn't contaminate the inside. They've been able to eat corn that way and have started drying and grinding up that corn for their own cornmeal.

I know that there is also lots of corn sensitivity too among celiacs, but since you seem to love corn so much, I figured I'd mention this, in case you'd like to try it and double check if it's gluten CC vs. sensitivity. :)


Hey what a terrifically good idea!!! I don't know if it's the corn itself, but it sure will be worth a try to eat fresh grown corn in a husk. You're jogging a memory that I was reacting better to fresh grown corn bought from a local grower this summer (bought tons of it) than the frozen or husked versions...mmm..

I think the worst part of gluten-free is the cross contamination & labeling issues. I totally related to the one poster who said they came home with a tension headache from reading labels. ME TOO. I'm getting more used to it but nothing is totally standardized and the day I discovered on this forum that my rice milk was barley processed I nearly had a conniption. ;)

Thank you for the idea. I really appreciate it!

FooGirlsMOm
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When I saw this photo, I thought it truly represented my life prior to being gluten-free. It was like being rooted in place trying to survive a Category 5. Now that I am gluten-free, I feel like I just might make it :)

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#17 GFshay

 
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Posted 08 December 2010 - 02:36 PM

I think it's good to allow yourself to feel the loss and stress that come with this disease. (I should preface this by saying that I'm a clinical psychology PhD student, so I'm biased...but somewhat informed). But I found I had a 1 month or so "Honeymoon Period", where I thought I was coping and felt good just to have something to help me feel better. But then, as other people have said, I started being aware of the possible intolerances I have. I took my first trip away from home and was sick and miserable. I've been eating way too little and feeling malnourished like never before. I found myself feeling sad more often and bursting into tears at the end of my week.

In my semi-almost-professional opinion, however, we need to give ourselves permission to fall apart when we need to. I find that allowing myself to come home and cry whenever I need to (recently, a couple times a week), that helps me feel more normal during my working hours.. I certainly can't burst into tears in front of clients, and would prefer not to do so in front of professors either. But I've given fair warning to my closest friends and family that I'm more emotional these days because I'm still coping and grieving. We can either push those feelings away and let it eat us up (and probably slow our physical healing too), or we can own the distress and take it day by day.

I finally got in with a good nutritionist yesterday who said that nearly all Celiacs she first sees are really depressed and fatigued. In the scheme of it all (especially compared to true clinical depression that often has no clear reason), having weak moments during this process is completely warranted and even healthy. So go ahead and cry, and lots of us will cry with you. Hopefully giving yourself that time to let it out will minimize inconvenient work breakdowns ;-)
  • 1
Positive blood test on several indicators Aug '10
Visual damage seen via endoscopy Oct '10
Diagnosed Celiac with "3B" damage via positive biopsy Oct '10

Gluten Free since 10/9/10

#18 laura4669

 
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Posted 08 December 2010 - 03:03 PM

I have been gluten free for a few months now, and I have had several times where I have started crying because it just all seems like too much sometimes!! I am half Italian, and eating pasta, crusty italian bread, pizza, etc has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. I also used to love to cook, and now it just seems like so much work to make sure that every ingredient is gluten free. Sometimes I miss the "comfort" food, grilled cheese, mac and cheese, pizza, and I know there are substitutes, but it just isn't the same. My husband is great, but I know it can get old with me always asking "is it gluten free?" In the scheme of thinks, life could be so much worse, so I do count my blessings every day. I agree with another post that says it is heathy to just cry and get it out. Hope it helps to know you are not alone, I know it helped me to read your post.
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#19 AZGirl

 
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Posted 08 December 2010 - 04:37 PM

I had a moment a few days ago. I was walking through Walgreens on my way to fill prescriptions when I rounded the corner and was face to face with Christmas Circus Cookies. I love them!!! Let's be clear that I have probably only eaten them 3 times in my life, because let's face it...they're not good for you, but now I can never have them again. Never! It just hits you hard that things are out of reach. It's no longer my choice to not eat the Circus Cookies.
I have noticed that I say things like: "My Aunt makes all of us kids our own pumpkin-roll for Christmas, they are so good!....Which I will never eat again. :( "
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#20 plumbago

 
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Posted 08 December 2010 - 08:03 PM

I love everyone's answers! Very nice and comforting. Speaking personally, a lot of times in my office, the forced socialization is too much. Especially when, pre diagnosis, I would come back from them feeling bloated and not good. Although I haven't been back to work due to a family break in a while, so I don't know what it'll truly be like to be denied completely the food related activities, I guess in some way I think I'm glad to be able to beg out of these events with a TRUE excuse. But with family and friends, well that is another story.

Love the comments!
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#21 Cypressmyst

 
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Posted 08 December 2010 - 09:45 PM

It helps me to look at gluten as a poison, not something edible. As though every pie, every slice of bread or pizza has had motor oil dumped in it and I simply pity the poor folks who are eating it and not realizing all the damage it is doing to them yet.

That is what I find hard. Knowing what I do and having to watch so many people suffering needlessly. I was at the grocery store today and watched as a woman had to use a scooter to get around and winced every time she got out to grab something on a low shelf. I couldn't help but wonder if gluten had caused her to have RA, or MS, or something along those lines.

I ultimately didn't talk to her as I don't think she would listen to a random stranger in a grocery store.

Some listen, some don't, some aren't ready for such an earth shattering thought. The staff of life is killing us.

Try to understand that Celiac is not a disease. It is a reaction to a poison that the body can not handle in the quantities we take it in. You are just fortunate enough to have caught it before it kills you. Try to be happy for that. Most people go their whole lives never figuring this stuff out.

Anyway, hope this visualization method helps you. :)

*hugs*
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#22 Cinnamongirl

 
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Posted 08 December 2010 - 11:06 PM

Hi Bonnie Blue-

I had a bad day today too and am feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I got glutened yesterday and still feel terrible. I'm not able to sleep and am very bloated. I'm experiencing the "why me?" phase right now. I had five good days in a row and now two bad days. I hope you are doing better and please know that you are not alone! I, too, get tired of the limitations. I seem to do best on a brown rice /veggie/ fruit diet with a little meat for protein. I'm sure glad there are people here who relate since my family just does not understand. My quality of life has improved overall since going gluten free, but I am not where I hope to be yet.
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Felt limited by anxiety since I was around 9.
Have known something was "wrong" for most of my adult life and learned to live with bloating/constipation and fatigue.
Went to many doctors for help without success.
Got confirmation from Enterolabs that I was gluten sensitive in Dec. 20009

#23 VioletBlue

 
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Posted 08 December 2010 - 11:51 PM

Is this the first time this has happened? Seriously? Cause I had meltdowns on a fairly regular basis for the first six months or so :blink:

It is going to happen. Things will take you by surprise. The supermarket was out of Diet Coke at one point and I started to cry in the aisle becuase I couldn't remember what else I could drink and I really wanted a Coke. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, it does get better and the crying eventually stops. You will get through it, but you have to go through it.
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"My mother always told me, it's okay to play with a man's mind
as long as you put it back where you got it when you're done with it."

#24 tea_and_crumpets

 
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Posted 09 December 2010 - 06:46 AM

I went gluten free on 10/10/10 and I finally had a big meltdown the other day. I handled Thanksgiving just fine, but I was in Trader Joe's and seeing all their Christmas goodies everywhere just upset me. Not that I would have eaten much of any of them, but the idea that I can't have it... Food is emotional, you know? Sometimes I feel like I'm outside with my face pressed against the glass, watching everyone else eat something delicious.

I also notice I have a tendency to start thinking this way when I let myself get too hungry. I don't know about you, but if I'm going to be out in the world I often don't eat much because I'm afraid of getting sick when I go out. I'm much better than before, when I could barely leave the house without a full day's dose of Immodium, but I still get caught out sometimes. (I think Celiacs should have a bathroom rating guide. I know we ALL know the cleanest bathrooms within a five mile radius of home and work.) So I don't eat until after I've done my day's errands, and that means I'm in the grocery store and everything looks so amazing and I can't have ANY of it. And then I am sad.
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#25 lynnelise

 
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Posted 09 December 2010 - 09:15 AM

I've noticed that a lot of my meltdowns seem to coincide with hormonal swings or happen after I've gone too long without eating. I've been gluten-free for a year now and it does get easier.

I came close to breakdown on Saturday because I went to a cookie party just to be social. I brought fudge to share and sat in the corner away from all the baking. Everyone made a point to talk to me and include me as much as possible but I just felt so sad that I couldn't eat any of the delicious cookies. Plus the hostess served the most delicious lunch and I couldn't eat any of it. Due to a miscommunication with my husband I didn't have my purse with my safe snacks so I was hungry and a bit miserable. I just kept trying to focus on how nice it was to see these friends and spend time with them.

My worst times are usually caused by my inlaws. They tend to go on and on about how great something is and practically shove it in my face and then say "oh you can't have this can you?" GRRRR!!!
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#26 Kimbalou

 
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Posted 09 December 2010 - 10:54 AM

For about a week now I have been very depressed, I have been gluten-free since September 13th, (funny how you remember the exact day when you finally find a diagnosis) Anyway I don't know if it is the holiday season, or that at times having Celiac is very overwhelming, but yesterday at work I lost it. For no real reason I started crying and could not stop, I locked myself in the bathroom and just sat there on the floor of the bathroom crying my eyes out, after awhile my boss knocked at the door wanting to talk to me, he is very understanding of everything I am going through, he wanted to send me home, but after a chat with him I decided to stay. I did finish the day, and today I have the day off, so I am looking to my new friends here to tell me I am not crazy and this has happened to someone else. So I am asking has anyone else went on this emotional roller coaster that I am experiencing now. I would appreciate any input, thank you all, this forum has become a second home to me.



I totally understand! I'm trying to be positive, but it is hard. Especially when people have different reactions to it. Have you seen the website "Gluten-free girl and the Chef?" She has a lot of amazing recipes. I just went gluten-free at the end of Nov., so I am new to this. I haven't tried her recipes yet. I think we should try to look at all the things we CAN eat, not what we CAN'T. It's also an opportunity to get creative in the kitchen! I am always on an emotional rollercoaster, so I feel your pain :). Hang in there!!
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11/19/10 diagnosed with Celiac disease after positive blood test
12/14/10 Biopsy positive for Celiac disease

#27 bonnie blue

 
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Posted 09 December 2010 - 04:26 PM

Thank you Thank you to all that have responded. You have made me again realize I am not in this alone. I think alot of the emotional strain right now is that I have always been the "baker girl", in fact Sundays were the days I made homemade bread, cookies, brownies, you name it I baked it. And I have already tried many recipes and shared them with family and friends with great reviews, but nothing will ever take the place of my mom's homemade bread recipe,:( So with the wonderful support of my new Celiac family here, my amazing husband, wonderful daughters, my sweet grandson, and my friends, I will keep goin, just taking it one day at a time. Every day I feel better, I am on the road to good health again and thats all that matters. B)
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Just takin it one day at a time :)

#28 THernandez

 
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Posted 10 December 2010 - 10:07 AM

I have been gluten free for a few months now, and I have had several times where I have started crying because it just all seems like too much sometimes!! I am half Italian, and eating pasta, crusty italian bread, pizza, etc has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. I also used to love to cook, and now it just seems like so much work to make sure that every ingredient is gluten free. Sometimes I miss the "comfort" food, grilled cheese, mac and cheese, pizza, and I know there are substitutes, but it just isn't the same. My husband is great, but I know it can get old with me always asking "is it gluten free?" In the scheme of thinks, life could be so much worse, so I do count my blessings every day. I agree with another post that says it is heathy to just cry and get it out. Hope it helps to know you are not alone, I know it helped me to read your post.


This was me 4 years ago. But cooking gluten free comfort foods has become my passion. I even started a blog so I could keep track of all my recipes for my kids, since they inherited bad genes from me, I wanted to make sure they can cook all the foods they love when they grow up and are on their own. Honestly, the home made gluten-free versions of grilled cheese, pizza and mac & cheese are as good as I remember. I was only diagnosed a few months ago, but my kids were diagnosed 4 years ago. SO I had the real thing not that long ago. I did a fair comparison to work out the kinks in my cooking by doing back to back taste testing (something I can't do anymore, but now I make my husband do it.)

If you really like to cook, it's almost more fun, because it's like a chemistry experiment. With wheat flour, it doesn't matter what you are making, for the most part. If you're making bread, add yeast to get it to rise. If you're baking sweets, add baking powder. That's kind of it. But with gluten-free baking and cooking, you have SO many flours to choose from and depending on what you're making, you can pick and choose the ones with the right properties and textures to get what you're looking for.
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Theresa
Mom to three fabulous celiac kids




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