Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

  • Announcements

    • admin

      Frequently Asked Questions About Celiac Disease   09/30/2015

      This Celiac.com FAQ on celiac disease will guide you to all of the basic information you will need to know about the disease, its diagnosis, testing methods, a gluten-free diet, etc.   Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts What are the major symptoms of celiac disease? Celiac Disease Symptoms What testing is available for celiac disease? - list blood tests, endo with biopsy, genetic test and enterolab (not diagnostic) Celiac Disease Screening Interpretation of Celiac Disease Blood Test Results Can I be tested even though I am eating gluten free? How long must gluten be taken for the serological tests to be meaningful? The Gluten-Free Diet 101 - A Beginner's Guide to Going Gluten-Free Is celiac inherited? Should my children be tested? Ten Facts About Celiac Disease Genetic Testing Is there a link between celiac and other autoimmune diseases? Celiac Disease Research: Associated Diseases and Disorders Is there a list of gluten foods to avoid? Unsafe Gluten-Free Food List (Unsafe Ingredients) Is there a list of gluten free foods? Safe Gluten-Free Food List (Safe Ingredients) Gluten-Free Alcoholic Beverages Distilled Spirits (Grain Alcohols) and Vinegar: Are they Gluten-Free? Where does gluten hide? Additional Things to Beware of to Maintain a 100% Gluten-Free Diet Free recipes: Gluten-Free Recipes Where can I buy gluten-free stuff? Support this site by shopping at The Celiac.com Store.

Dealing With The Holidays - Presents
0

22 posts in this topic

How do you deal graciously with presents you can't eat? At my office, we all give each other little things to celebrate the holidays, and this year a co-worker in my department gave me the same tin of cookies as everyone else. I'm really torn on how to react to this - I know the holidays are a busy time but my department has been aware (and even supportive) of my celiac for the two years I've been working here. Should I just assume she forgot and that her gift was just part of a checklist (and therefore not really meaningful)? Should I believe that she was just trying to be equal in her gift-giving so no one would feel left out? Should I offer for her to have it back so she can give it to someone else? I don't know why I'm so bothered by this, but I'm really having trouble letting it go.

Any suggestions on how to best deal with this situation would be welcome. My first instinct (because I'm an uber-practical person) is to offer it back to her so she can give it to someone else, but that might be misconstrued as insulting. (Then my small, mean side says "Well, it's insulting that she gave you a gift that she knows you can't enjoy!") Or am I just being ego-centric? I have been really lucky and have not had to deal with this in the almost 3 years of being diagnosed, but now it's happened, I'm not really sure how to deal with it.

Thanks for any help you can give!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:

How do you deal graciously with presents you can't eat? At my office, we all give each other little things to celebrate the holidays, and this year a co-worker in my department gave me the same tin of cookies as everyone else. I'm really torn on how to react to this - I know the holidays are a busy time but my department has been aware (and even supportive) of my celiac for the two years I've been working here. Should I just assume she forgot and that her gift was just part of a checklist (and therefore not really meaningful)? Should I believe that she was just trying to be equal in her gift-giving so no one would feel left out? Should I offer for her to have it back so she can give it to someone else? I don't know why I'm so bothered by this, but I'm really having trouble letting it go.

Any suggestions on how to best deal with this situation would be welcome. My first instinct (because I'm an uber-practical person) is to offer it back to her so she can give it to someone else, but that might be misconstrued as insulting. (Then my small, mean side says "Well, it's insulting that she gave you a gift that she knows you can't enjoy!") Or am I just being ego-centric? I have been really lucky and have not had to deal with this in the almost 3 years of being diagnosed, but now it's happened, I'm not really sure how to deal with it.

Thanks for any help you can give!

Don't over-analyze it...sometimes people are just forgetful. If you think they'd be really offended, then smile and say thanks, and then pass it on to a gluten-eater later. It doesn't have to be a big deal.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We were just given a gift card for a restaurant that claims to have a gluten-free menu but it sucks. Plus, they aren't really reliable about not putting the croutons in the boring gluten-free salad. We are re- gifting it.

We have gotten food gifts we didn't like and just throw them out, give to the food pantry or feed the squirrels.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can also open the tin for everyone at work to "enjoy." That would make you look generous while getting rid of the nasty molecules. People are basically clueless, even if they are supportive. I have a friend that was going to bring alcohol-free wine to Xmas, thinking that regular wine had gluten. She is actually quite smart and does cook, but can't quite grasp the diet restrictions. Best wishes for a happy and gluten-free holiday season. :)

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Be thankful for the thought (even if it was fleeting and not fully formed) and pass it on to someone who will enjoy it. Then, you get to be a part of making two people happy!

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites




I don't deal with it at all--I just thank the sender and either my husband, or someone else can enjoy it if it's a food gift. If it's a gift certificate, I'll just give it away.

Although, the one I'll never figure out was the box full of nice, gourmet-type munchies that we received from my SIL and BIL the first Christmas I was gluten-free...... <_< I'm sure there was a lot of room for analyzing there but--eh. :P

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would just say thanks and pass it on to someone else. If it really was an oversight (and I'm pretty sure it probably was) then she'd probably be really embarrassed if you gave it back. I know I would be mortified if I realized I gave someone something they couldn't eat. Christmas shopping is stressful and it's easy to forgot who likes what and who can and cannot have this or that.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would just deal with it the same way you would deal with a gift that doesn't match your personal tastes (i.e. something ugly or some food you dislike regardless of celiac): Say thank you and then discreetly re-gift or dispose of it. I doubt they gave it to you to be rude or to rub it in that you can't eat it. Unless this is a really close friend or family member I don't think you can expect them to remember what you can or can't have. It seems easy to us to see that cookies are not gluten free, but many people are clueless. When I think about all the people I have met that think that white bread is not made with wheat it makes my head spin.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Like others, I say or send a thank you and pass it on to others who can enjoy the gift. It's the thought that counts. Also, regifting is a great way to save $$$.

It's funny how often we receive food or gift cards to food-places. I think it's an easy gift to give. It's so hard to buy tangible gifts for others because you don't know their taste. Before I found out that I had Celiac, I always gave those kinds of gifts. Now that I know so much about food allergies, I give very different gifts. I think that most people just don't think about food issues and think that food is a universally safe gift to give.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would just say thanks. Some people are just oblivious to the obvious!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's an easy way to deal with this that doesn't offend anyone and yet keeps everyone informed about what's going on.

As soon as someone gives you something containing gluten, just say: Oh, I can't eat/use these because they contain gluten and I can't eat gluten, but thank you for thinking of me. I will make sure these go to someone who LOVES these things!

And then put the package away.

Hope that helps!

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're overthinking it and sorry to say I think you're overreacting. A gift is a gift and you should be grateful they gave you a gift at all, especially if it's just a coworker and not a good friend. You graciously smile and say thank you and then give it to someone who can eat it. It's rude to say anything but thank you in this instance and it won't make you popular.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with what most said about just being gracious. I just wanted to add that if she suddenly realizes and apologizes, please do your best not to make her feel bad. Maybe something like, "Oh, don't give it a 2nd thought. I shared it with my kids/neighbors. They loved it. It was so nice of you to think of me and I couldn't possibly expect everyone remember the details of my diet, especially this busy time of year." Your celiac disease may just suddenly hit her.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry this happened to you - stinks that you can't eat her goodies. But I immediately thought of her situation, too. What in the world could she have done differently and yet, keep all the gifts equal? Would you really want her to bake a batch of gluten-free things for you? And I'm sure there are others who receive her baked goods and can't eat them - a person with diabetes, a peanut allergy, hey - someone who just hates cookies.

I know it struck you the wrong way this year and that is o.kay. But I wouldn't dwell on it - we all have situations to deal with. I think it is sweet of her to do this huge job every year. Unless she is a real biddy the rest of the year! ;)

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hate food gifts in general. I'm always watching what I eat and I don't need more junk in my house. I have a funny story about this. When I was a teacher I always got tons of candy from the kids. One year I was given TEN pounds of chocolate from different student, an entire sheet cake and myriad other candies. I filled my trunk with all the junk my students gave me. So everyone in my family got chocolate from me in addition to their regular gifts that year. LOL

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Smile, say thank you and regift it. : ) Or give it to your family who can eat it.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People do that to us all the time. Often they just aren't thinking. Or they don't realize that what they are giving you is something you can't have. We just got home baked cookies. We just put them aside for my husband. If you don't have a friend or family member to pass them on to, then just donate to the food bank...assuming they are not home baked. If so I guess you'll just have to throw them out.

Years ago I had a neighbor who always gave me these "mints" that she made. To me they were like eating lumps of toothpaste. They were just horrible! I couldn't pass them on because they were so horrible. I couldn't throw them out because we shared the same garbage can. I didn't have a garbage disposal. I would just flush them down the toilet, one every day. By the time they were all flushed, I'd get a new batch.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Years ago I had a neighbor who always gave me these "mints" that she made. To me they were like eating lumps of toothpaste. They were just horrible! I couldn't pass them on because they were so horrible. I couldn't throw them out because we shared the same garbage can. I didn't have a garbage disposal. I would just flush them down the toilet, one every day. By the time they were all flushed, I'd get a new batch.

That is too funny! Hope the toliet didn't clog!

We have a squirrel feeding platform. Some of this stuff the squirrels won't eat but usually a couple of crows will.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I take stuff in to work, or give it to the homeless guys on the way to work.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have the same problem at my work place.....everyone hands out cookies, pretzels, and gluten filled goodies over the holidays, i sit here in my cubby and try not to cry :( When i read your story i was totally like...go give it back to her..tell her thanks, but i can't eat this you know.....make her feel bad (so unholiday of me!!) I am an uber-grinch this year all spoiled by my work holiday party...where they provided me a "gluten free meal' this year of cooked carrots!! ergh...cooked carrots in a crock pot that has had gluten in it before does not a "gluten free meal' make....so work and work people are off the holiday cheer list for me!! Of course my super poor attitude as of late has caused my co-workers to avoid handing me any gifts so it's not been too much of a problem.

This is easy to say.....not so easy to do....i liked the food pantry idea the best, and i am going to remember it incase i get any gluten filled goodies this year....

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just say thank you and then re-gift it.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This info helps alotsa this will be my first xmas being celiac. now ill be better prepared for when this happens to me ^^ lol

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      103,418
    • Total Posts
      917,668
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Italian pasta
      Get some celiac travel cards to print off and keep in your wallet.  Present them to your waiter.   http://www.celiactravel.com/cards/ Tell the airline that you need a gluten free meal, BUT take food with you because odds are the airlines will make a mistake.   As far as the wheat pasta.....some folks say the wheat is different.  I personally think they are kidding themselves.  There is no scientific proof that I have found to support this theory.  (Anyone want to present such data?)  Italy, from what I heard is great for celiacs.  I'll know for sure this summer!  I'll be there!   As usual, we plan on bringing some packable food, but we are good at shopping at grocery stores for food and picnicking when traveling.  I expect foods at grocery stores to be clearly marked as they were in Great Britain since they are part of the EU.  
    • Villous atrophy with negative tTG IgG/IgA, high Gliadin IgA!
      It looks like you have a few options that you need to consider pursuing: 1.  Get back to your doctor and tell him to figure out what's wrong with you.  Take a friend because it helps to have someone listen and take notes who is not the patient.  Get copies of all lab reports and doctor notes always and keep a file on yourself to share with future doctors or to monitor your progress.   2.  Ditch this GI and get a new one (SIBO is real per my celiac savvy GI).  Take a friend with you.   3.  You say you are lactose intolerant.  Experiment by going lactose free for six months -- not just a few days.  This will help to promote healing and help determine if milk (lactose or proteins) are causing villi damage and not gluten. 4.  Recognize that some celiacs test NEGATIVE to antibodies.  Per Dr. A. Fasano and Dr. Murrary, based on their clinincal experience and recent data just published, they estimate that 10 to 20 percent of celiac disease patients test negative to the serology screening test. That means consider yourself a celiac and stop your gluten intake for at least six months.  Normal vitamin and mineral levels do not rule out celiac disease.   5.  Recognize that you can multiple reasons for villi damage.  That's why a second consult with a celiac savvy GI is important.   Good luck!    
    • Continued Symptoms
      Try keeping a food and symptom diary.   She could have allergies or intolerances.  But, again, I am not a doctor!  I am healed from celiac disease, but I still react to certain foods and have allergies.  Those will probably never go away as I have been plagued with them all my life (as my siblings have too).  She could have a milk protein intolerance and not just lactose.  Eliminate all dairy too see if it helps.   Speech really normalizes by the age of 8.  I can not say if your public school will evaluate her.  My home-schooled friends are still monitored by the state and receive state funding.  So, I would assume they would receive all the same benefits.  Try calling.  
    • Weeks in and feeling no better
      Let me tell you that based on what people post on this forum, it takes MUCH longer to heal.  In theory,  it should just take a few week on a gluten diet to promote villi healing.  Your body is constantly regenerating new cells in your gut on a daily basis.    Why the delay?   First,  it takes a long time to really master the gluten free diet.  So, in the beginning, dietary mistakes are often made which can delay the healing time.  Second,  celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder triggered by gluten causing a "flare-up" which can be measured by the level of antibodies in your system.  Antibodies can take weeks, months or years to come down.   Third,  there's the type of damage done to your body to consider (e.g. bone damage, depleted iron levels).  Usually anything neuro takes much longer to heal. Has your doctor checked you for nutritional deficiencies?  If not, ask.  You might be really low on a vitamin or mineral.   You could be low on digestive enzymes (actually they can not be released in a damaged gut).  So even when eating gluten free foods, your body is not digesting and absorbing the necessary nutrients.  You could help the healing process by taking gluten free supplements and enzymes.   But it is best to see what you are actually deficient in.   Most of these deficiencies resolve with time. Finally, my parting words of wisdom (as passed on by many of our members), is patience.  I know.  Hard to be patient when you want to feel well, but it will happen.   Hang in there!  
    • Gluten and panic attacks
      Now if everyone out there who probably has a gluten problem adopted your attitude, they would be having a much better life.  After over 10 years gluten-free myself, who really cares about gluten pizza? I go months without gluten free pizza, which is very good by the way, and I am not an emotional wreck.  Imagine!  Glad you feel better and yes, it was the wheat!
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Larry Gessner  »  cyclinglady

      Hi There, I don't know if there is a place for videos in the forum. I just watched "The Truth About Gluten" I think it is a good video. I would like to share it somewhere but don't know where it should go. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
      Here is the link if you have never watched it.
      https://youtu.be/IU6jVEwpjnE Thank You,
      Larry
      · 2 replies
    • ChiaChick  »  Peaceflower

      Hi Peaceflower, Just wanted to say thank you for the chat.
      · 0 replies
    • ukuleleerika

      Hello! I am new to this Celiac website... Is there anyone out there with Celiac AND extensive food allergies? My allergies include shellfish, dairy, eggs, cantaloupe, kiwi, mango, nuts, oranges, red dye, and more I can't think of. I went to the allergist about a year ago to see why I wasn't feeling well, and once everything was eliminated, I still didn't feel well. We did more testing to find out I had celiac as well as allergies to cattle as well as rye grass (I live on a farm basically). This was back in January 2016. I recently had my endoscopy with the gastroenterologist a week ago. I have no idea what to do or what to eat... So fish and potatoes for me!
      · 2 replies
  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      60,550
    • Most Online
      1,763

    Newest Member
    Tam Tam
    Joined