Marriage Trouble And Celiac
Posted 15 July 2005 - 09:19 PM
Wow, thank you for everyone's wonderful responses. Really! This has given me lots to think about.
Dogear, it's not quite that bad I trust him completely with my food. He even swore up and down along with me when I told him of the Tropicana issue from another post (we drink Tropicana, but always had gotten the "Pure", gluten-free kind.)
Maryellen - ahhh, this is what I needed. 57 years..... I heard a story once of a couple married a very long time, and when asked what their secret was, the woman replied "we were never both out of love at the same time". It was an interesting answer to hear. It does take commitment, and in our "grass-is-always-greener" society, this commitment is not the easiest path to take. I would like to think someday me & my dh will be where you and yours are
Connole, I will check out that site. Thanks! And I'll suggest www.flylady.net to help you pace yourself while you get the house clean
Ryebaby, I am glad you wrote in. It is helpful to hear the other side of the story. I think grieving is an accurate term. I know my dh definitely grieved the first 6 mos I was gluten-free. He actually had a harder time with it than I did.
LauraJ, welcome I will check out the book. It sounds just like what I was looking for a while ago and couldn't find.
And Bean, the book you rec'd just came into the library, so I'll be reading it soon....
I haven't made much headway on finding a counselor yet. I made a few calls last weekend. I also want to talk with dh about a bunch of stuff from this post. Horrifyingly, our computer went down Sunday night and just today was back up and running (I checked in here a few times from a laptop.) Dh makes his living off the computer - ack - and was in a panic and under the desk for 4 days troubleshooting, so I've held off on anything big Sunday we are attending a friend's wedding, and I think this will be a very interesting experience, given where we are right now. Maybe it will clarify some things for us....?
Posted 16 July 2005 - 09:38 AM
Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy
G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004
Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me
Posted 16 July 2005 - 12:00 PM
I think you should set up a p.o. box where we can send you gas money!
Posted 18 July 2005 - 10:34 PM
When love beckons to you, follow him
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind
lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he
is for your growth so he is for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest
branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their
clinging to the earth.
- Kahil Gibran (from The Prophet)
Intimacy is not for the faint of heart. I so desperately hope that all of us are strong enough and wise enough to find it, embrace it, hold onto it, and be nourished by it.
Posted 30 July 2005 - 08:27 PM
Your post compelled me to finally write something! Although I've read these posts for a long time, I have never registered and written. However, there is a book that I think might really be beneficial to you (and many others) who deal with Chronic Illness(es). It is called The Chronic Illness Experience: Embracing the Imperfect Life by Register, Cheri. (1999). I am in graduate school and was diagnosed with celiac disease after being sick for almost a year. This book was recommended to me by one of my professors. It is wonderful and although it deals with people who have conditions like MS, I did feel like it was truly applicable. It addresses a lot of the issues that you brought up in your post and thought that you might find some comfort, or feel like you can relate to what she is saying. Take care!
Thank you SOOOOO much. This is indeed the very sort of book I had been looking for the last few years. It is excellent - well written, intelligent, and insightful. I highly recommend it to ANYONE here who has suffered the symptoms of celiac and still has problems.
It's weakest chapter was IMO the one on marriage and partners, I think because that was also the author's weakest area of insight and success (if one can call it that). But here is an insightful bit that I read to my dh:
[under the chapter Patience as a Way of Life, subchapter Stress]
"Just keeping yourself maintained consumes much of the time, attention, and energy you would otherwise devote to life's optional activities. Ina healthy, energetic life, the tasks required to do justice to work, family, house, community, and your own spiritual well-being hardly seem optional, but chronic illness forces you to pick and choose. Everything you want to do must be reassessed and assigned a priority. Just how optional each activity is depends in part on the physical toll it exacts, but also on how much it contributes to the overall quality of life."
That really rang a bell with me. It was like, yeah I did reach a point of illness where I had to pick and choose among the "tasks required to justice to work, family, house, community, and your own spiritual well-being", the non-optional stuff most people take doing for granted. Things are a bit different for me now, but there was a definite scaling down in the last few years.
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