Jump to content

Follow Us:  Twitter Facebook RSS Feed            




   arrowShare this page:
   

   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

 
Celiac.com Sponsor:                                    


Photo
- - - - -

Why Can't She Have It In Moderation?


  • Please log in to reply

68 replies to this topic

#46 jerseyangel

 
jerseyangel

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 20,939 posts
 

Posted 16 March 2011 - 09:02 AM

My wife may disagree with you about me being amazing. At least sometimes :). Thank you for taking the time to respond, I will ask her read it.

The fact that you are here tells me you are an amazing husband. I hope Jen reads IrishHeart's post, as her experience is/was a lot like mine. So much time lost and we hate to see that happen to someone else.
  • 1
Patti


"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

"When people show you who they are, believe them"--Maya Angelou

"Bloom where you are planted"--Bev

Celiac.com Sponsor:

#47 jeslk

 
jeslk

    Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 34 posts
 

Posted 16 March 2011 - 09:33 AM

You've already gotten great advice and I'm a newbie myself, so I'll just add this: I was diagnosed with celiac last month and I felt fine. I didn't even know my doctor was running the test. As you can see from my signature below, though, I'm not exactly drama free when it comes to my health. Please feel free to have your wife email me if she's looking for a buddy who is new to this. It's not always easy and I'm learning of new challenges every day - my husband and I are currently trying to decide whether or not to make the entire house gluten-free (it's hard with a 2 year-old!)- but it can be done. If she wants to talk, there are lots of people available. Good luck to both of you!
  • 1
Jess

Celiac Dx through blood work and biopsy, Feb. 2011
Also Dx Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma (2006) and Thyroid Cancer (2011)

#48 ravenwoodglass

 
ravenwoodglass

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,790 posts
 

Posted 16 March 2011 - 11:39 AM

The fact that you are here tells me you are an amazing husband. I hope Jen reads IrishHeart's post, as her experience is/was a lot like mine. So much time lost and we hate to see that happen to someone else.


Mine also. The only thing that kept me going the last 5 years before diagnosis was my children. And one of them even gave me permission to commit suicide. I would give anything to have been diagnosed when DH and IBS were my primary symptoms.
It is hard to accept celiac and it takes some adjustment but the pain that will be avoided makes it soooo very worth the trouble.
  • 1
Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

#49 aeraen

 
aeraen

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 112 posts
 

Posted 16 March 2011 - 12:42 PM

Just another wife who thanks you for being pro-active on behalf of her health.

Look at it this way, if she were diagnosed as diabetic and had to give up sugar (and her beloved Kit-kats), you wouldn't be thinking after a month that maybe the doctor made a mistake. It is what it is.

But, truthfully, it is NOT a life sentence. I'm one of those who feels set free. While my health issues were not as severe as others here, just being free of the tummy aches and embarrassing gas and emergency trips to the bathroom make it worthwhile.

Years ago, in creative writing classes, I learned that the best writing comes when one must write creatively within limitations. I've learned that cooking creatively within limitations can create some remarkable results as well.

I have a family of four at ome right now and, aside from my son's school lunch bread, our house is gluten free. The kids pretty well don't notice the difference. Most of our meals are just naturally gluten-free, with a few substitutions when necessary (sweet rice flour and xanthan gum to thicken gravy, etc). But, the changes we've had to make have sent us on quests for new and interesting recipes. The kids love my peanut butter cookies so much I stopped making the regular ones. And who doesn't love flourless chocolate cake?

yes, it is a change, but I think that in a very short while, this will be your new normal and you both will stop grieving the lost kit-kats. ;)
  • 1

#50 mushroom

 
mushroom

    Mushroom

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,448 posts
 

Posted 16 March 2011 - 01:10 PM

My wife may disagree with you about me being amazing. At least sometimes :). Thank you for taking the time to respond, I will ask her read it.


Hey, no one can be amazing ALL the time ;)
  • 0
Neroli


"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." - Albert Einstein

"Life is not weathering the storm; it is learning to dance in the rain"

"Whatever the question, the answer is always chocolate." Nigella Lawson

------------

Caffeine free 1973
Lactose free 1990
(Mis)diagnosed IBS, fibromyalgia '80's and '90's
Diagnosed psoriatic arthritis 2004
Self-diagnosed gluten intolerant, gluten-free Nov. 2007
Soy free March 2008
Nightshade free Feb 2009
Citric acid free June 2009
Potato starch free July 2009
(Totally) corn free Nov. 2009
Legume free March 2010
Now tolerant of lactose

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

#51 mushroom

 
mushroom

    Mushroom

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,448 posts
 

Posted 16 March 2011 - 01:13 PM



But, truthfully, it is NOT a life sentence.


Actually, in a way, it is - it is a GIVING BACK YOUR LIFE sentence :D
  • 0
Neroli


"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." - Albert Einstein

"Life is not weathering the storm; it is learning to dance in the rain"

"Whatever the question, the answer is always chocolate." Nigella Lawson

------------

Caffeine free 1973
Lactose free 1990
(Mis)diagnosed IBS, fibromyalgia '80's and '90's
Diagnosed psoriatic arthritis 2004
Self-diagnosed gluten intolerant, gluten-free Nov. 2007
Soy free March 2008
Nightshade free Feb 2009
Citric acid free June 2009
Potato starch free July 2009
(Totally) corn free Nov. 2009
Legume free March 2010
Now tolerant of lactose

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

#52 IrishHeart

 
IrishHeart

    Warrior Princess

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,558 posts
 

Posted 16 March 2011 - 01:19 PM

My wife may disagree with you about me being amazing. At least sometimes :). Thank you for taking the time to respond, I will ask her read it.



Trust me, I have read posts from many women & men on here who say their significant others left them when they needed them the most. I thank my man every single day for staying by my side. Your support is crucial to her, especially right now. This means, of course, no more buying those Kit Kats!! ;) no matter how much she wants them.

It takes courage to make major changes in your life, but dropping gluten from your life is not as big a deal as it first seems. We'll help!

This diagnosis, however, is not to be taken lightly.

Please, do have her read the whole post, if only to see that we care and that she is not alone and that we can help make this transition easier.

geesh, six months ago I barely spoke, I was so out of it and my family was worried I was dying... and now, I can't stop talking.... :D ....back to "chatty me" again.

Think of this as SAVING YOUR LIFE, not life being over. There are many on here who will tell you similar horror stories to mine...but I think you are getting the message loud and clear.

Life without gluten..is LIFE. Healthy and happy and LONG!!

Be well!! ;)
  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#53 JustForJen

 
JustForJen

    New Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • Pip
  • 11 posts
 

Posted 22 March 2011 - 08:22 PM

Just thought you guys should know that my wife left me on Saturday on moved in with her Mother in Virginia. 4 days before the whole family was suppose to move to kentucky for my job that we have know about for months. I got home from work and she told me that her and my daughter would not be accompanying me to Kentucky. Really blindsided me and screwed me. I have a 26 foot moving trucked ready to packed, a new lease ready to be signed, and no place to live here after next week. I don't know if it has anything to do with Celiacs disease but I'm just really hurting right now and in shock!! I had to file immediate paperwork with the court and now that she has been served she has stopped speaking to me. OUCH
  • 0

#54 Roda

 
Roda

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,620 posts
 

Posted 23 March 2011 - 04:04 AM

I'm so sorry for you. Maybe there are other issues going on with her besides gluten. Try and stay strong. I know it hurts. You can always come here for support if you want.
  • 0

Me:
Celiac disease(positive blood work/biopsy- 10/2008), gluten free oat intolerent, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis/Disease, Raynaud's Disease


DS2(age 9):
celiac disease(positive IgA tTG, no biopsy- 11/2010)


DS1(age 13):
repeated negative bloodwork and negative EGD/biopsy. Started on a gluten free trial(8/2011). He has decided to stay gluten free due to all of the improvements he has experienced on the diet.


#55 ravenwoodglass

 
ravenwoodglass

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,790 posts
 

Posted 23 March 2011 - 04:15 AM

Just thought you guys should know that my wife left me on Saturday on moved in with her Mother in Virginia. 4 days before the whole family was suppose to move to kentucky for my job that we have know about for months. I got home from work and she told me that her and my daughter would not be accompanying me to Kentucky. Really blindsided me and screwed me. I have a 26 foot moving trucked ready to packed, a new lease ready to be signed, and no place to live here after next week. I don't know if it has anything to do with Celiacs disease but I'm just really hurting right now and in shock!! I had to file immediate paperwork with the court and now that she has been served she has stopped speaking to me. OUCH


I am so sorry that has happened. Did you talk to her before you filed the paperwork? Celiac can make us a bit nutty at times and effect moods very strongly in some of us. Maybe she needed some time to absorb everything. I don't know if something else may have been going on for a while but you might want to withdraw the paperwork and do some talking even if over the phone for a bit before making the split permanent.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
  • 0
Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

#56 zus888

 
zus888

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 216 posts
 

Posted 23 March 2011 - 05:31 AM

I'm assuming the paperwork has more to do with child visitation than divorce proceedings.

I'm so so sorry!! I really don't know what else to say. I can't imagine losing my mate and my kids.
  • 0
Suzanna

#57 lynnelise

 
lynnelise

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 474 posts
 

Posted 23 March 2011 - 07:09 AM

I am so sorry about what you are going through! I can't imagine what a shock this must be! Hopefully she is just emotional over her diagnoses and perhaps even gluten withdrawl and will reconsider! It sounds like if she doesn't she is losing out on a great and caring husband! I have a wonderful husband but trust me, he'd never join this forum just to help me cope or make a special trip to try to replace a beloved candy bar. He'd probably tell me to suck it up and to be thankful I wasn't worse off! Hope she appreciates what she has in time!
  • 0

#58 IrishHeart

 
IrishHeart

    Warrior Princess

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,558 posts
 

Posted 23 March 2011 - 07:41 AM

OMG!

I am very sorry to hear this as I felt you had done so much to try and help your wife with her celiac diagnosis.

I don't know what else is going on, but I can tell you that celiac DEFINITELY affects people's BRAIN function enormously. I have to wonder if her behavior and judgment right now isn't seriously compromised because of her malnutrition from the disease.

I know how much it affected me. I was anxious, depressed, full of rage, anger, frightened, jittery and unable to make decisions. I felt overwhelmed by simple tasks and big decisions were impossible for me. My husband and I could not figure out why in hell I was behaving that way. I assure you, I went from being mentally stable and happy and calm to that lunacy because malnutrition can do that. I wish I had myself on video cam to show to others how bad it was.

I fear she is making errors in judgment out of fear and insecurity and illness. If she continues to ingest gluten, it is only going to get worse.

Perhaps her doctor can help you by talking with her? What about her MOM?

I am so sorry this has happened.

I pray for you all.
  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#59 jerseyangel

 
jerseyangel

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 20,939 posts
 

Posted 23 March 2011 - 08:04 AM

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope when things settle down a bit, you two can sit down and talk.

Take care.
  • 0
Patti


"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

"When people show you who they are, believe them"--Maya Angelou

"Bloom where you are planted"--Bev

#60 mushroom

 
mushroom

    Mushroom

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,448 posts
 

Posted 23 March 2011 - 03:46 PM

You have my heartfelt sympathy.
  • 0
Neroli


"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." - Albert Einstein

"Life is not weathering the storm; it is learning to dance in the rain"

"Whatever the question, the answer is always chocolate." Nigella Lawson

------------

Caffeine free 1973
Lactose free 1990
(Mis)diagnosed IBS, fibromyalgia '80's and '90's
Diagnosed psoriatic arthritis 2004
Self-diagnosed gluten intolerant, gluten-free Nov. 2007
Soy free March 2008
Nightshade free Feb 2009
Citric acid free June 2009
Potato starch free July 2009
(Totally) corn free Nov. 2009
Legume free March 2010
Now tolerant of lactose

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Celiac.com Sponsors: