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I Can't Do This


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#46 sb2178

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Posted 06 April 2011 - 06:34 PM

One really helpful step is to sit down a make a list of what you normally cook/eat. There's probably at least a couple of main dishes that are naturally gluten free. Even if you just rotate four or five dishes for a few weeks, that's a great way to start out. Flag a few recipes in your favorite cookbook, look at the list below, and remember the classic:

DON'T PANIC (and yes, I do have a towel ;-))

Post up a list of favorite foods that you like to eat and we'll brainstorm. Remember, you can eat all plain fruits, vegetables, beans, and most grains! Your list is probably longer than you think. This might be a good place to bring your husband in-- he might have some good ideas.

Here's a brief brainstorm of foods you should be able to make from just about any grocery store, and you can even buy gluten-free prepared products for some of them like baked beans or polenta (but it's cheaper to make it at home yourself).

potato chickpea curry with basmmati rice (it can be mild!)
black bean soup with tortilla chips
lentil soup
sweet potato fritatta
spinach, feta, and strawberry salad
polenta with sauteed mushrooms
fried rice with vegetables and tofu (you need to buy gluten free soy sauce but it's pretty easy to find these days)
three bean salad with roasted sweet potatos
gluten-free pasta with any vegetable combination or plain tomato sauce
risotto
stuffed baked potatoes
baked beans

Buy a box of gluten-free chex for breakfast. Eat leftovers for lunch, and stock up on junk food/comfort foods to get you over the first panic stage. gluten-free oreos tend to be pretty good (but I was never really an oreo eater), ice cream is often okay, potato chips and tortilla chips are generally safe BUT read the label. Olives, nuts, fruit, veggie sticks, hummus, bean dip, and cheese are some healthier snack options! I've actually got a couple of example gluten-free meal plans I'll message the links to you, or you can google other folk's blogs and information. Major food companies have serious websites that might be helpful.

You can do it! You'll probably feel better in a couple of weeks, especially if you get those vitamin levels checked. Weird things, like my insomnia, disappeared after an MD told me to start magnesium because my levels were on the low side of normal.
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2/2010 Malabsorption becomes dramatically noticable
3/2010 Negative IgA EMA; negative IgA TTG
4/2010 Negative biopsy
5/2010 Elimination diet; symptoms begin to resolve on gluten-free diet round two (10 days)
5/2010 Diagnosed gluten sensitive based on weakly positive repeat IgA & IgG TTGs and dietary response; decline capsule endoscopy.

Now, what to do about my cookbook in progress? Make it gluten-free?

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#47 adab8ca

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Posted 06 April 2011 - 06:47 PM

It is daunting, that's for sure...I do feel for you although I do want to poke your husband hard for not being supportive. Not eating in restaurants is not the tragedy that people think it is. .I spent 6 months fetal on a couch, in agony and nerve pain, suffered suicidal depression and lost 30 pounds without trying. I couldn't walk around the block without excruciating nerve pain in my feet. This came on suddenly, I was perfectly healthy for 41.5 years and then last year it ALL fell apart. Tons of specialists, each one shaking their head...The GI that did the endoscopy said I have had this forever, it was not recent. I went from perfectly healthy to dying in a month. And I may have been like you, if I was 39 and feeling healthy I may have also thought it can't be that bad, I can't do it, I can't give it up. I wish, just to give you a nudge, that you come and spend some time in my damaged body and see how radically your life can change. It is hell. I am learning how to live again and it is a daily struggle. Taking 10 years off your life may seem like an acceptable trade off but only if you are healthy until you die and the chances of that are unlikely.
Figuring this out before you are REALLY REALLY sick is a GIFT, not a curse. It is there whether you like it or not.
I am not trying to be harsh, I just want my experience to help someone. Maybe there is some reason that I got this in the most goddawful way...
I wish you all the best! You can do this.

hugs
ada

ps It may be helpful to see a dietician if you can, they may have some good advice
PPS There are lots of resources on the internet as well
http://www.vegetarianceliac.com/
PPS Many restaurants have gluten free pasta and are actually celiac friendly, you just need to do your research, call ahead...
  • 1
TTG >200 (normal <10)
IgA gliadin 24 (normal <11)
IgG gliadin 38 (normal <11)
Endoscopy showed damage that looked like "classic celiac", biopsy showed total villous atrophy
Started gluten-free diet Aug 31, 2010
Only real symptoms are huge weight loss and neuropathy

#48 NewbieMarch2011

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 05:55 AM

Well, I called my husband when I was diagnosed last week. He was at work and the conversation was limited to a minute. I mentioned it again that night and he poo-pood me and I shut up. I mentioned it again when we ate with friends last Friday and he stated he didn't think it was a problem and I shouldn't worry about it. A couple of days later I asked him to come to my doctor's appointment and he agreed. I don't think he has put 2+2 together to realize it's the same doctor. I haven't mentioned it to him since.

Last night I picked up dinner. In the course of conversation, I mentioned this might be my last calzone (he complained about where I picked up food from and I stated that I wanted my favorite calzone because it might be my last). He asked why and I mentioned that I was seriously considering trying the gluten-free thing.

He got very angry. He said that if I was going to try it then he wanted to go to a nutritionist with me and tell them what junk I eat. I eat okay - not great - but okay. I am vegetarian and get my protein from eggs, cheese, tofu, quinoa and occasional protein bars or drinks. We both work full time so frankly, he only knows what I eat in the evenings. When I am feeling naseous, I eat very bland food (potatoes, rice) because that is all I can get down. He, on the other hand eats fast food quite often, lots of steak, fried foods, etc. I don't eat any of those things.

He went on to say I should be exercising. I acknowledge that's true. I do a bit of yoga here and there. But I also work full time, keep the house clean, landscape an acre with several thousand feet of flower beds. I exercised faithfully for 25 years until I hurt my neck (herniated disk, bone spur, arthritis) and developed fibromyalgia and other problems. Now I don't do so much. I'm also 50 years old and no longer care about impressing anyone in a bathing suit. I'm 5'5" - 145 pounds, which is not so bad. He is a foot taller and 275 pounds. He has never exercised a day in his life - not once, ever.

He said that I was going to get so sick if I try this diet (I couldn't explain to him that I'll get sick if I don't try it). He actually works with a guy who has celiac disease. He said that if the guy eats a bit of bread he is sick for days. I think he thinks that since I don't have any digestive symptoms I don't have a problem. I wouldn't be opposed to going to the nutritionist with him if he wants to - but that's not the point I'm making. He is so pissed off if I even try to discuss the subject with him at all. I would explain about the disease to him if I could - but as soon as I say the word he blows up.

I can't go through life with every meal with him being a fight. I hope he changes his mind after my doctor visit (which he will attend). Otherwise, it is clear that I cannot even start to try this until then, maybe, depending on how the doctor visit goes. Unless he gets on board - this is just not going to work.
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#49 Jestgar

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 06:07 AM

.......this is not a relationship I would be willing to stay in without some serious change. My life is too short to be treated that way by anyone....
  • 4
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#50 cassP

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 06:21 AM

u said u dont have any digestive issues but then u said you get nauseaus a lot??????
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1986- Elevated Speckled ANA/no Lupus.negative Sjorgens
2008- AntiGliadin IGA/IGg~ Negative,TTG IGA/IGg~ Weak Positive, Endomysial Antibody~ Positive, IGA Deficient.
no biopsy (insurance denied)
6/2010- Enterolab Gene Test:
HLA-DQB1 Allele 1 0302
HLA-DQB1 Allele 2 0302
HLADQ 3,3 (subtype 8,8)
7/2010- 100% Gluten Free
8/2010- DH
10/2010-Hypothyroid dx-> 12/2010 Hashimoto's dx + 1/11- Graves dx :(

#51 Strawberry_Jam

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 07:17 AM

Fibromyalgia can be a SYMPTOM of celiac. As well as a lot of other things.

He's being really unreasonable. Maybe he is afraid you will try to make him gluten-free, too. But seriously, does he WANT you to be in pain?

Sounds like you really need to stand up for yourself. If you are a confirmed celiac and you do not go gluten-free, you will in all likelihood end up with cancer.

If he really loves you, he'll listen.
  • 1
gluten-free 25 Feb 2011
soy-free 30 March 2011

dairy-free 30 August 2011 (roughly)

22 yrs old
diagnosed Celiac through biopsy and blood test (WAY positive) as of 25 Feb 2011

#52 tarnalberry

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 07:32 AM

I mean no offense, but what you describe is emotional abuse and controlling behavior.
He is, in those situations, being an ass.

He does not have motor control of your hands or your mouth. He does not choose for you. You do.
Yes, you can choose to do what he says, but realize that it is still YOUR choice to do this. Even if it's to "make life easier" (though I don't know how it's easier to be sick), it is still your choice. For good and bad. But yours.
  • 3
Tiffany aka "Have I Mentioned Chocolate Lately?"
Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy
G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004
Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me
Bellevue, WA

#53 adab8ca

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 08:09 AM

OK my one digestive symptom was nausea...and then, if you reread my post, it all went down hill from there.
i licked a spoon on wednesday that I used to spread almond butter on an english muffin for my husband and I have been a disaster ever since. I was lying fetal on the floor wednesday night, in so much nerve pain and my guts are still a mess....my poor husband was just beside himself. Maybe print out these stories for your DH, you will VERY likely get sicker some day...this is not a fad, it is a bona fide disease with debillitating effects...I became suicidal last summer from the pain and depression.
i am so sorry that you are not getting the support you need but you need to stand up for your self. He needs to understand this is NOT A DIET. regardless of what you eat on your vegetarian diet, it is irrelevent if it is healthy or not. Of course healthy is better but this is totally not the issue here...

Again, you are lucky that they found this before the damage is so bad it is unreparable. I cannto stress that enough. If I could go back in time, I would LOVE to be in your shoes.
  • 1
TTG >200 (normal <10)
IgA gliadin 24 (normal <11)
IgG gliadin 38 (normal <11)
Endoscopy showed damage that looked like "classic celiac", biopsy showed total villous atrophy
Started gluten-free diet Aug 31, 2010
Only real symptoms are huge weight loss and neuropathy

#54 leivasfamily

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 08:49 AM

I hear ya....I felt the same way with my daughter who already has so many limitations being Downs Syndrome, Hypothyroid, Type 1 Diabetes diagnosed in 2009, and now Celiac.

I tell my husband when he thinks its ok to eat things she loves in front of her that it's like the drug addict or alcholic that you drink or do drugs in front of them when they are trying to recover. Same thing.....People have to be conscioentious of that.

Now that we eat brown rice pasta, I prefer that over regular pasta. It's great and light. You can just buy the one from Trader Joe's. Many Italian restaurants now have same, you just need to call ahead and talk to manager beforehand and tell him you are coming in, so when you ask, it's not a big deal.

Corn tortillas are the best filler foods you can include in your diet, as long as you don't have issues with corn.

UDI's bread is good and you can make your grilled cheese sandwiches at home....most likely they are not offered in restaurants.

Hang in there.....just imagine it can be worse. There is always others out there that have more issues and can't do anything about them. You have control of your life and you can make it work!! Have faith :-)
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#55 Monael

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 01:05 PM

I am new to this too. I haven't been diagnosed like you have, I simply put 2 and 2 together when I went on a low carb, no starch diet for a couple of weeks and noticed that my bowel symptoms cleared up. When I went back to my regular diet back came the bowel issues. So I decided that for me, I would rather just avoid the gluten so I would feel better. It was only through researching the disease that it became apparent just how damaging gluten could be for me (and explained a whole lot of other symptoms I have been having as well).

It also was clear that it would not be easy. But I am comforting myself with the idea that I will be able to have bread and other things I love like cake and cookies. It will just take more effort. So I probably won't have them as often. But that is probably for the best anyway :)

As for your husband, what the heck is he going to do, force feed you gluten containing food?? What if you just don't eat it and don't even mention it? I don't understand your relationship, as I would be very turned off if someone reacted that way to my disease. But if you are happy with him then who am I to judge? There are all kinds of things to eat that don't have gluten in them. The only things you have to worry about are the pre-made foods. And there are still premade foods with no gluten in them. Like potato chips :)

It's up to you though. I know I used to smoke cigarettes, too. It wasn't until I was ready to quit that I was able to do it. And I have been smoke-free for over 11 years. It took me a while to do it though. Good luck! I hope your husband changes his mind so you can be healthy.
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#56 Junot

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 01:50 PM

Wow, i dont know if this is purely a control issue with your husband but this whole story is messed up, getting mad at someone because they wanna feel better, boy am I confused.

Exercising WILL NOT help if you continue to take in gluten, your body needs MORE food MORE protein after you exercise and cant grow and cant get healthier if you continue poisining yourself.

You gotta put your foot down and put your health and your life AHEAD OF EVERYONES at this point especially your husbands.
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#57 Marie1976

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Posted 19 April 2011 - 07:12 AM

What if you told your husband you just want to TRY it for a little while? He is not being very supportive. Just remember it is YOUR life and YOUR body, and YOUR decision. He doesn't want to be inconvenienced by your diet restrictions, but it is YOU that will be sick if you eat gluten, so he's not really being fair to you.

I was not happy about the gluten-free thing either; I'm a vegan. You might want to check out vegiac.com. And also: Keep coming back to this board, it has helped me SO much. There are a lot of people on here who are supportive and helpful and they care, because they have been suffering for a long time and don't want to see someone else suffering.

Hang in there. :)
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#58 domesticactivist

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Posted 19 April 2011 - 09:19 AM

You say you don't have symptoms, but you listed many symptoms that are all directly related to gluten consumption for many people I know. While it is all or nothing - even a little bit does damage - I think if you can cut back gradually while getting used to the idea that may be helpful. What if you start with what you cook at home? I agree with the people who say to not think of this as a decision that you have to make right now, in the midst of dealing with the emotional side of your diagnosis.

I have a friend who is taking your approach. Her daughter has problems, her father had celiac (and died from a related cancer), and has another relative who had to have her colon removed, and she KNOWS she does better off gluten because she felt great on Atkins. However, she insists on only treating the symptoms with medications and surgeries. Her daughter was not even allowed to try being gluten-free because her blood test came back negative for celiac - instead she has to take multiple steroids for her skin condition (even though a close friend with the same problem healed the same condition by going gluten-free). Making bread with gluten in it is more important to her.

In cases like this, I think some of the emotions that could contribute to not wanting to make a change might include:
- not wanting to feel guilty/angry about the damage done in the past
- not wanting to feel angry at family members who left things untreated and are no longer around to discuss it
- not wanting to give up comfort foods at a time that is hard enough already
- being afraid that any change will mean that everything needs to be reevaluated (could destabilize a marriage, for example)
- not wanting to give up the idea that we are healthy or change our idea of what's wholesome

As a mother with a celiac child, and someone with health issues I ignored until all this started, I've had to work through these kinds of feelings. I find that kind of thing can be easier to do for another person than for yourself. Whether these issues resonate for you or not, it might be worthwhile to give therapy a try. A good therapist will not tell you what to do - that person will instead help you explore your feelings and come up with a plan of action that will work for you.

I'm curious about your husband's response to the news of your diagnosis. You say he dislikes you making special requests at restaurants for your vegetarian diet - but it also sounds like he thinks that is a choice you are making that he doesn't agree with. I wonder if he would have a different perspective about special requests related to your diagnosed medical condition? Have you talked with him about this?

As for being vegetarian and gluten-free - that does make it a little bit more difficult, but not impossible. I believe there are several vegetarians on this board who you could ask for advice.
  • 0
Our family is transitioning off the GAPS Intro Diet and into the Full GAPS Diet.
Gluten-Free since November 2010
GAPS Diet since January/February 2011
me - not tested for celiac - currently doing a gluten challenge since 11/26/2011
partner - not tested for celiac
ds - age 11, hospitalized 9/2010, celiac dx by gluten reaction & genetics. No biopsy or blood as we were already gluten-free by the time it was an option.
dd - age 12.5, not celiac, has Tourette's syndome
both kids have now-resolved attention issues.

#59 domesticactivist

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Posted 19 April 2011 - 09:45 AM

Oh, wow, I just saw your most recent post. I had an inkling from your first post that this may be the way he acts, but I didn't want to make assumptions.

From what you say here, though, I have to tell you - his behavior is totally unacceptable, and something no one should be subjected to.

It sounds like you have had to choose between trying to keep him calm and happy and doing what is right for you in many arenas for a long time. I can imagine that choosing to stand up for yourself on this one could be very threatening to your relationship.

From his side - you putting your health above his preferences could feel threatening because:
- he wouldn't be in total control
- you might start to question that he should be in control
- you might start feeling healthy and have the energy to confront him in other areas

From your side it may feel threatening because:
- he may become more angry/violent/verbally abusive/controlling
- feeling healthy might give you the space and energy to deal more with your relationship
- you might start to consider leaving the relationship (which brings up all sorts of other stuff, of course)

The way he is acting is abusive. Even if there is no overt physical abuse going on, keeping you from eating the diet that will solve your health problems, and trying to make you eat foods that harm you is physical abuse.

I have had very close friends who lived for many years in abusive relationships before finally getting out, and so I know that it's really not as simple as just saying you deserve better and should leave. I also know that people who are abusive typically escalate their behavior over time, in a cyclical pattern.

I think the best thing you can do for your health right now is to really examine the positive things you are getting out of your relationship with your husband. There have got to be some or you wouldn't have stuck with it so long. Some ideas that may get you started (though your reasons might be totally different) are:

- feeling needed
- being seen as someone who is making a marriage work
- financial security

Then look at what you are giving up in order to experience those benefits. Make that list, too. Once you have really looked at the trade-offs you are making.

The next step after that is to think about what you want out of your life, and see how that fits with the life you are living now. You have a right to make your own decisions about what you want your life to be like. Once you accept that, you will be able to make the changes you need to make (in the context of your relationship, or outside of it), that will get you there.
  • 0
Our family is transitioning off the GAPS Intro Diet and into the Full GAPS Diet.
Gluten-Free since November 2010
GAPS Diet since January/February 2011
me - not tested for celiac - currently doing a gluten challenge since 11/26/2011
partner - not tested for celiac
ds - age 11, hospitalized 9/2010, celiac dx by gluten reaction & genetics. No biopsy or blood as we were already gluten-free by the time it was an option.
dd - age 12.5, not celiac, has Tourette's syndome
both kids have now-resolved attention issues.

#60 Salax

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Posted 19 April 2011 - 10:40 AM

Just my 2 cents, but I still can't understand why other people in our lives are so concerned with what we eat or don't eat. Is is really that big of a deal? Our body, our choice. Unless someone is eating glass or things that aren't food, it's really no ones business but our own. That just frustrates me to no end.

I am frustrated with your husband's treatment of you, so *hugs* to you. But you only YOU can do what needs to be done in this situation.

Be strong and take charge of your health. It's critical for you at this moment to realize that you have to do what's best for you an only you. If you allow the other, your not taking care of you. And that would be horrible for you and your loved ones.

I wish you the best and hope it gets better from here.
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Salax
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Celiac Disease - Gluten Free since Feb 2009,
Cow Milk &  Corn free - June 2012,
Gall Bladder Failure - Removed July 2009,
Colitis, Hashimotos Disease, & Diverticulitis

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")_(") Eat your vegetables!



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