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My Son's Sad Look Upon His Face
#1
Posted 29 May 2011 - 04:32 AM
My oldest son whom, is 37 yrs old was driving by a Burger King stand yesterday. He had to stop near the stand due to traffic. The smell of the fresh burgers and french fries were pumping out into the air. He told me, he felt so sad and wanted to cry. Imagine that, a grown man wanting to cry. He was very tempted to go straight in there and get one of those burgers, he claims. He thought better of it and drove on home. He looks me in the eyes, his father with a deep saddness and, ask if this is how it is to be all his life? He just shook his head in, saddness. It made me want to cry myself and, I felt realy bad, knowing, I was the one that gave it to him from birth. He got it from me.
Which, brings me to this point, why would any person whom is not married or married without children want to bring a child into this world when, they have this disease. The only way this disease keeps on spreading in through live birth. If the current young people of today know they have this disease when they have children ? You are going to make some innocent child go through all this hell, pain, and mysery. I would not have done it had I known, I had it at the age of 18 years old.
#2
Posted 29 May 2011 - 04:36 AM
- James Watson
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
- Ashleigh Brilliant
Leap, and the net will appear.
#3
Posted 29 May 2011 - 04:45 AM
Homemade Sweet potato fries are AWESOMEWhy would anyone be brought to tears by fast food? You can eat hamburgers and french fries,I don't see the point of this.
Gluten free Oct/09
Soy free Nov/10
Completely grain free Feb/13
After a very, very long battle to keep dairy .I am dairy free
i.e. If it tries to kill me I do not eat it .
After 40+ years of misdiagnoses I was diagnosed with:
Dermatitis Herpetiformis : Positive DH biopsy .
Celiac :based on DH biopsy and diet response.
Hashimoto's thyroiditis disease . April/11
Diagnosed type 2 Diabetes March/13
#4
Posted 29 May 2011 - 04:51 AM
My being celiac and all the years when I struggled with pain and in poverty gave my children a strong work ethic, even when I could barely crawl out of bed I went to work every day for years. It gave them a sense of compassion for others suffering. It gave them the desire to get a good education and to help others in any way they can and one went into a medical field because she saw my struggles and it gave her the desire to help others.
Life is what you make of it no matter what your illness or shortcoming. There are much worse things to pass down to your children than celiac.
I wish I could have had more children and do not for one minute regret that I passed down celiac to them. What I did give to them far outweighs the inconvience of having to deal with a celiac diet. And I greatly look forward to having grandchildren when my children are ready to have them whether they are also celiac or not.
As for your son's sadness he may be going through withdrawl and there is no reason why he can not have a burger and fries. They just have to be gluten free. I really hope you are not telling your son's that if you had known they would have celiac you would have chosen not to have them. That would be extremely cruel and border on abuse.
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)
celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007
Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15
Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom
Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007
Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303
Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)
#5
Posted 29 May 2011 - 04:55 AM
You continue to assert that this is a disease that is active at birth. This is not true.
It is hard sometimes, but he will get used to it.
Want to edit this to say 1% of the population not 1% of the 30% with the gene. My boys would be appalled at this math error.
Edited by kareng, 29 May 2011 - 05:43 AM.
Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party" - Ron White
""I like the cover," he said. "Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day."
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
#6
Posted 29 May 2011 - 04:55 AM
- James Watson
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
- Ashleigh Brilliant
Leap, and the net will appear.
#7
Posted 29 May 2011 - 06:02 AM
I won't feel bad if I pass this on, because I've coped with it so well. I'm sure my children will have no trouble coping with it, either. As said, this isn't the worst thing you can pass on.
But people are different. Maybe you start considering suicide when you scratch your car or twist your ankle, whereas I just deal with such things. I think you and your son should pull yourselves together.
Celiac disease isn't the biggest problem here, I believe it's more about attitude and your aspect on life and how you deal with problems and on times when things don't go your way.
I don't think you should feel guilt for a moment for passing on the disease. Remember that you're the reason your children exist!
#8
Posted 29 May 2011 - 06:20 AM
I am talking about the people whom know they have it before they are married or before they become sexually active and, could easily make a mistake and have a child. People whom have Celiac Disease at present time whom, did not know they had it. Well, they have a valid excuse because, someone else had control of their lives.
Hambergs, are made of bread, meat, & Sauces. The last time, I looked those burgers have wheat in them. Some got Rye and wheat, too. Please, tell me you think they do not have it. It states so on the wrapper in my state and city. This product contains wheat, and/or rye. When, you use wheat bread in preparing anything, you contaminate that other foods as well. Come people, has the wheat gluten gotten to your heads. I do not believe in half-stepping here. Just like smoking cigarettes if you quick or say you are quitting it means absolutely no cigarettes what-so-ever.
Like me and food chemicals, I do not drink, chew, smoke, or use street drugs. Nor do I let them be used in my house by others as well. I do not drink, coffee, tea, or anything else with caffeine in it.
Those burgers always made my oldest son sick after he ate them. He would always say, they sure taste good going down but, he would lay back in his easy chair and say he feels sick for the first hour after eating them. He or myself never knew what was causing the sickness. Now, we know, what caused it.
Things like fast foods helped put him in allot of his bad health at present time, too. Over weight, and out of shape. He has a physically demanding job and his other jobs were also physically demanding jobs. It required him to lift heavy objects, bending, stupping, and walking around constantly. Yet, with all these physically demanding jobs, he still become over weight. His doctor says so in his medical records. Too, much fast food he says.
I personally think, that any responsible parent to be, would not want to pass on their medical conditions to their unborn children. Why put a child through the same hell as we have to go through now? They are innocent people. Not knowing something about your health is damaging to your family's health now and in the future times. Celiac Disease keeps on spreading because, we keep having children and knowing we have this disease within us.
#9
Posted 29 May 2011 - 06:27 AM
Not sure why I am even bothering...
Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party" - Ron White
""I like the cover," he said. "Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day."
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
#10
Posted 29 May 2011 - 06:33 AM
I personally think, that any responsible parent to be, would not want to pass on their medical conditions to their unborn children. Why put a child through the same hell as we have to go through now? They are innocent people. Not knowing something about your health is damaging to your family's health now and in the future times. Celiac Disease keeps on spreading because, we keep having children and knowing we have this disease within us.
So why did you have 3 children if this is how you really feel? You knew you were sickly when you had them. You may not have known what was wrong with you, but you knew something was horribly wrong. You knew the first one had Autism but you had a second & third one? You knew you were on disability and had no way to support the third one, but you made another.
#11
Posted 29 May 2011 - 06:43 AM
#12
Posted 29 May 2011 - 06:50 AM
Yes, there are times my celiac saddens me. My wife and I want to go to China and I'm not sure I can face it because of the diet. That's upsetting and causing some stress, but I'm glad I'm around. And I'm sure as heck glad I had children.
If your son continues to be so upset over the smell of a McDonald's he needs to get some serious psychological help. If you continue to be so upset you also need help. Some mourning is normal, but things get better.
#13
Posted 29 May 2011 - 07:39 AM
Being diagnosed with a life changing medical condition can cause people to go one of two ways. One can either get proactive and find ways to make their life better or one can wallow in self pity. I chose to get proactive and as a result my life is better than it ever has been. Apparently your son is choosing the latter option.
As for suggesting we should not have children? How dare you? My father has celiac and I certainly have never wished he had chosen not to have children. My children are happy, healthy and glad to be alive and if they are diagnosed with celiac in the future I will be able to serve as a role model in how to live a full life without gluten.
Busy mom to 3 great kids (3, 6 and 16) and long time host mom to two wonderful Vietnamese girls (18 and 24)
Gluten free since April 6, 2011 ~ Also sensitive to coconut, coffee and food dyes
Joint pain, mouth sores, back and neck pain, migraines, stomach pain, chronic fatigue, ADD and depression are all gone.
Wishing I had been diagnosed before celiac robbed me of the cartilage in my toes and the 3 babies we lost to miscarriages.
#14
Posted 29 May 2011 - 07:45 AM
I was just using Karl's argument back at him and his choices.
#15
Posted 29 May 2011 - 07:52 AM
I knew I had celiac disease (for seven years!) before having my daughter. While she may or may not get it, the possibility does NOT mean that she shouldn't have been born.
My father knew that he had rheumatoid arthritis before I was born. While I have the possibility of getting it, the possibility does NOT mean that I shouldn't have been born.
My husband's mother has familial high blood pressure. While he is prone to high blood pressure if he's not careful, that does NOT mean that he shouldn't have been born.
No one has perfect genes. And yet, we can grow healthy kids.
Healthy kids do not look at one setback as the end of their world. Healthy kids know how to make their own food because hamburgers do not HAVE to contain wheat. (Really, arguing "but the package says so" is just silly around here. While we can get gluten free hamburger buns, we also know that sometimes you have to *gasp* prepare your own foods, even from scratch. And, honestly, homemade hamburgers are better than any fast food one I've eaten, and most restaurant ones as well.)
Fast food didn't harm your son - his choice to eat it over preference to healthy foods did.
Celiac disease isn't making your son miserable - his choice to not find ways to cope and work around it is.
And to say that all of this misery you describe for your son is what I'm giving to my 1 year old baby because I chose to have a child is both projecting and uninformed (because you assume I'm going to teach her the same as you've taught your son) and rude.
Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy
G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004
Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me
Bellevue, WA
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