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I Am A Widow At Age 42


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17 replies to this topic

#1 okieinalaska

 
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Posted 29 June 2011 - 10:42 PM

I haven't posted in a while but since having found out in January that I have Celiac I have been coping ok.

But last month while on a field trip with my daughters 5th grade class (2 days before school let out for the summer) my husband passed away, he was only 44 and had retired from the Coast Guard just last year after 20 years. (we had been married 20 years too) He had a seizure of some type. They were in a remote area and out quite a ways on a trail hiking. Long story short... over a month later I still don't know what happened yet. (Still haven't got a death certificate yet)

My mom jumped on the next plane from Oklahoma and got here the next day. My church, the boy scouts, people I work with, my bunco group and jujutsu friends have all really been there for us. And not just saying they will but actually showed up and did yard work, cleaned my house brought us gluten free meals, fixed the leaky sink and the handle on the oven that Doug had been meaning to fix for the last 6 months, donated enough paid time off that I was able to take over a month off at work and even more help than I can mention here.

I am so very greatful for all the help I have been given and I have told them all exactly that. I never knew people still did this kind of thing.

I am rambling now but I have been living on vanns gluten free waffles, peanut butter and salad it seems like. A friend who eats gluten free recently brought me home made gluten-free mac and cheese (wth bacon on top) and the most delicious pina colada muffins and smores. I have decided I need to eat better and finally feel like maybe I can cook. By the way the grief diet (just like the "gluten free diet") has not helped me lose weight.

So this last weekend my husbands family came up and visited. They came up on Sat. night and left Monday night. (they were barely here 48 hours, they left a day early to make sure they got out on standby) Now I love them all but it didn't seem like they were here to help us so much as themselves but I won't even get in to that. But I did manage to cook and made Doug's famous white lasagna which I had never made before. I had to change it to be gluten free of course and am happy to say it tasted just as good as when he made it. I also made a gluten free rhubarb pie that was very good too.

We are trying to get the house ready to sell but of course all those things we put off for so long have to be done now. So it will take us a while to do it but we will get it done. My family and Doug's family are all in Oklahoma so we are going to move back there once it's sold.

My kids and I are coping and adjusting as best we can. And we have lots of people helping us.
I read something the other day that asked how many of your friends do you think would actually be there for you if you really needed them? Well I know and it amazes me.
Hug your family and appreciate your friends.
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Amy in Alaska
Gluten Hit Girl

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#2 Roda

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 12:26 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm not the best at words but we are all here for you too if you need to talk.
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Me:
Celiac disease(positive blood work/biopsy- 10/2008), gluten free oat intolerent, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis/Disease, Raynaud's Disease


DS2(age 9):
celiac disease(positive IgA tTG, no biopsy- 11/2010)


DS1(age 13):
repeated negative bloodwork and negative EGD/biopsy. Started on a gluten free trial(8/2011). He has decided to stay gluten free due to all of the improvements he has experienced on the diet.


#3 ravenwoodglass

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 03:08 AM

I'm so sorry for your families loss. It is good that you have many freinds and family for support and it still must be very difficult. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

#4 sa1937

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 03:46 AM

I am so sorry to hear of your loss...thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.
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Sylvia
Positive Celiac Blood Panel - Dec., 2009
Endoscopy with Positive Biopsy - April 9, 2010
Gluten Free - April 9, 2010

#5 SilverSlipper

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 07:10 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that others have gathered around you and your family during this time. You will be in my prayers.
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#6 mommida

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 07:27 AM

I am so sorry for your loss.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
((HUGS))
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Michigan

#7 RL2011

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 07:42 AM

Amy,

I am sorry for your loss. It is nice to hear you have good support from friends and family.

I wish there was something I could do to help. You are in my thoughts.
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Richard

#8 Takala

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 07:58 AM

I would be wanting to stay where my friends were and not moving, if I lived in a place like that. The severe weather has been especially horrible down here in many parts of the midwestern/southeastern lower 48 for over a decade, alternating between drought, flood, and tornados, and you could not pay me to move back to that part of the country. I love the open terrain, but people are a lot nicer where I'm at now, I've had some "stress moments" in the past and there is just some real not good people in some areas, hyped up with a lot of paranoia, not a good combination during natural disasters. I keep saying, at least during the power outages here, my immediate neighbors aren't going to go crazy.
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#9 kareng

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 08:45 AM

So sorry! I hope it works out well for you & the kids!
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#10 okieinalaska

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 10:34 AM

I would be wanting to stay where my friends were and not moving, if I lived in a place like that. The severe weather has been especially horrible down here in many parts of the midwestern/southeastern lower 48 for over a decade, alternating between drought, flood, and tornados, and you could not pay me to move back to that part of the country. I love the open terrain, but people are a lot nicer where I'm at now, I've had some "stress moments" in the past and there is just some real not good people in some areas, hyped up with a lot of paranoia, not a good combination during natural disasters. I keep saying, at least during the power outages here, my immediate neighbors aren't going to go crazy.

Thank you everyone for your replies.
I know what you mean but long term I can't afford to stay here. Plus my family is wonderful and I want my kids to grow up closer to their family. I love Oklahoma and am going to stay with my parents for a year and then find a place close to them out in the country. My kids have lots of cousins and other family they have never met. And I do like my husband's family, it's just they were a little weird on this trip.

Alaska is wonderful but the winters are very hard. If my other neighbors hadn't moved to Hawaii I wouldn't be so worried because he had always helped me with stuff while Doug was away for the military.
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Amy in Alaska
Gluten Hit Girl

#11 bartfull

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 10:53 AM

I am so sorry you have to go through this. But I do know what you mean about friends. When my parents got sick, friends were coming out of the woodwork to help them and the rest of the family. And frankly, when one suffers such a loss, that is the only real comfort there is. Please know that you will be in my prayers, and tell your friends for us here on the forum that we said "thanks"!
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gluten-free since June, 2011

Can't eat soy, corn, or foods high in salicylates.

Nightshades now seem to bother me too.

 

BUT I CAN STILL PLAY MY GUITAR AND THAT"S ALL THAT MATTERS!

 


#12 txplowgirl

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 06:50 PM

Hi Okie, I'm also sorry for your loss and wish there was some way I could help. I was raised in tx but have lived in Ok for the last 6 years. Moved up there to be closer to my mom who needed help.
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Lupus, Connective Tissue Disease with Fibro type symptoms, Anemia, Anxiety, Depression, RA, Rynauds Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Erosive Gastritis, Osteoporosis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Scoliosis, Bulging discs in lower back and neck, Pinched Nerves.

 

Soy free, MSG free, mostly Dairy free. Endoscopy shows blunted Villi which dr states as gluten sensitivity, so goin back to being gluten free


#13 domesticactivist

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 07:09 PM

<3 Grief is so hard. I'm glad you have a supportive community, and are beginning to feel like you can start to get back to a new normal.
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Our family is transitioning off the GAPS Intro Diet and into the Full GAPS Diet.
Gluten-Free since November 2010
GAPS Diet since January/February 2011
me - not tested for celiac - currently doing a gluten challenge since 11/26/2011
partner - not tested for celiac
ds - age 11, hospitalized 9/2010, celiac dx by gluten reaction & genetics. No biopsy or blood as we were already gluten-free by the time it was an option.
dd - age 12.5, not celiac, has Tourette's syndome
both kids have now-resolved attention issues.

#14 JoyVertz

 
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 07:45 PM

My sympathies are with you and your family.... I'm so sorry for your loss...
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Diagnosed Celiac June 20, 2011.
I'm a newbie and just learning.

#15 adab8ca

 
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Posted 01 July 2011 - 03:23 AM

I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Many many hugs
ada
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TTG >200 (normal <10)
IgA gliadin 24 (normal <11)
IgG gliadin 38 (normal <11)
Endoscopy showed damage that looked like "classic celiac", biopsy showed total villous atrophy
Started gluten-free diet Aug 31, 2010
Only real symptoms are huge weight loss and neuropathy




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