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Dealing With Family


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23 replies to this topic

#16 alex11602

 
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Posted 22 August 2011 - 04:11 AM

For right now I mostly avoid the situation since I have 2 young children, a 5 year old who has upset family by asking about gluten and a 20 month old who doesn't really talk yet, so it is difficult for them to understand. And no one seems to understand my husband's decision to go completely gluten free with us (he didn't want to cc us and we found out there his grandfather may have had celiac so he decided to just not ever eat gluten again). I was going over to my mother's house occasionally and she did cook gluten free for us, but then I realized that she didn't really understand the danger of cc so I don't really go over there for food anymore, especially since my sister lives there and could care less (even though they both have stomach issues like I did before I went gluten free, they will not be tested or try the diet). It's tough, but like I said I pretty much avoid the situation and just try and cook really awesome meals for my girls.
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#17 glutenfreeinminnesota

 
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Posted 22 August 2011 - 02:48 PM

I wouldn't get all overly defensive about this. Just tell her that just as little as 10mg gluten/day (i.e. ~1/500th of a slice of bread) may easily be enough to do damage that will take at least 6-8 weeks to heal.

Many studies indicate that, for individuals with celiac disease, the daily gluten tolerance threshold varies from (0.6 to 150)mg/day. Most individuals are thought to react somewhere between a daily level of 50 and 100mg gluten.

Your friend probably wants you to reason with her and actually be able to justify it beyond "my body HATES gluten". Try not to be awkward or stress about it. Having been a coeliac for over 12 years myself, I have had many experiences (both good and bad). I find that my best way of being able to learn and understand is by thinking visually.

Re: The Wedding Cake

My friend, who has been coeliac for nearly as long as myself, has also avoided gluten over the years (but does eat out a lot :rolleyes: ) and is vigilant about avoiding gluten (at least most of the time, anyway... :unsure: ).

Recently, another friend of mine had a wedding and both my friend and I were invited to the ceremony and reception. The wedding cake was to die for and I could barely resist the temptation myself. In the end, I decided to pass on it. The same, however, could not be said about my coeliac friend. I have posted on this topic at http://www.celiac.co...-piece-of-cake/ and thought it might be of interest to you.

Maybe you could show it to your best friend, to help spread awareness? :huh:


Oh I didn't mean to make it sound like I get defensive. I am far from mean or angry about it. I just simply tell people how it affects me. That's all I was getting at :) Thanks for the other post though!! We have so many weddings coming up to go to.
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Diagnosed with Celiac Disease November 2009
2011:
Anemia is gone for the first time in my life, Yay!
Teeth are cleaner according to my dentist (interesting, eh???)
Eyesight has improved for the first time in my life (another interesting thing!)

**My advice to the newly diagnosed** HANG IN THERE!! It gets better and is so worth the seemly long road to getting better. Just be happy you can make yourself healthy with a diet change, and not have to take pills for the rest of your life. :D

#18 pricklypear1971

 
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Posted 24 August 2011 - 09:20 PM

How do you deal with your extended family when they roll their eyes because they think you've gone overboard with the issue of being completely gluten-free and try to avoid CC?

What do you do when you visit their homes? Do you take your own food?


Interesting question.

I started gluten-free about two months ago. Since I'm the cook in the household our gluten containing food is almost nil. I keep a few things for my son (age 9) and husband.

My son is semi-tolerant of the gluten-free idea. Most foods he likes the taste of... but he does ask me constantly why I am so worried about gluten - usually in an impatient or nasty tone.

As I type this, he is in the bathroom with diarrhea after eating a sandwich made from a wheat bun (one of the few gluten products I keep at home).

I wonder if I inadvertently threw him into a low gluten diet and now he's getting "glutened"? He still eats wheat at school and when we're out.

And the "poison" metaphor works well. If not, I just say I'm "allergic" to wheat. Most people get that... and I tell them I break out in a horrible rash.
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#19 Schatz

 
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Posted 26 August 2011 - 06:29 AM

My dad made me really angry yesterday. I've tried to explain celiac to him. He refuses to believe anything. Here are some comments he made to me:

"You're on the borderline of being ridiculous, and I take issue with that."

"Doctors have a name for everything these days. Back when I was a kid we didn't have all these convoluted so-called diseases. It was called an upset stomach and you got over it."

"So I suppose now you're going to get the idea in your head to become vegetarian too."

"I'll buy you a Krispy Kreme and we'll see if you don't decide that it's worth a little tummy upset to eat it."


I'm so angry with him. Why is he being such a jerk?

Of course, this is the same man who had an emergency double by-pass surgery a year and a half ago, and he has not changed his diet at all. Still eats his steaks, burgers, corn chips, and whole milk.
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Aug 15, 2011 Newly diagnosed and scared!

#20 shadowicewolf

 
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Posted 26 August 2011 - 06:35 AM

^ don't ya hate comments like that :angry: ticks me off.
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#21 alex11602

 
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Posted 26 August 2011 - 06:53 AM

I know it's easier said then done, but I think we need to figure out a way to just let the comments roll off our backs. It hurts, it ticks us off, sometimes makes us want to cry, but if we let it bother us...it is only us that hurts in the long run. Of course this is coming from the one who tries to stand up to her mother and can't seem to do it, I always go back there for dinner even when I say it won't because I can't seem to say no. So instead I will go over there for dinner tonight and worry about what's on my food since I didn't prepare it(even though my mom is careful about ingredients, she doesn't really believe in the dangers of cc) and cry when I get home because I know that their "IBS" is probably celiac and I really don't want to watch it anymore. Sorry, I was trying to encourage you. Good luck with getting your family to understand.
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#22 moose07

 
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Posted 26 August 2011 - 08:22 AM

If I know I'm going to someone's house for dinner I try to call ahead and find out what they are making. If it's something that isn't going to work for me I try to bring something similar that I can eat. Usually, when I get there I stay in the kitchen so I can monitor the food prep. Sometimes I can tell it's slightly annoying to people that I watch what they are doing but my health is important.

Not saying you should make yourself sick but some of my family members and friends who use to give me a hard time backed off a lot after I got really sick from cc. I think because sometimes the symptoms aren't obvious to others that it's easy for people to forget so just try to be patient. I'm not the best person to say that because I've gotten snippy with people for giving me a hard time but gluten shouldn't be something that ruins relationships too.
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#23 cap6

 
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Posted 26 August 2011 - 06:32 PM

My bff understood CC, had cooked for me in the past and I had no problems - I watched her like a hawk! This summer we stayed with her for 3 weeks and I kept getting sick, I had watched & helped her cook but then .... the light bulb went on. She had been using a sponge to wipe up the counters for both the gluten side and my side. :( I felt so stupid!! A switch to paper towel and all was well.
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#24 AVR1962

 
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Posted 26 August 2011 - 11:29 PM

How do you deal with your extended family when they roll their eyes because they think you've gone overboard with the issue of being completely gluten-free and try to avoid CC?

What do you do when you visit their homes? Do you take your own food?

I am fortunate enough to have family members who are both dairy and gluten intolerant and for those family members they understand and it is not an issue. The others have a much harder time relating and to be quite honest I think more of my family have an issue than they realize. I have learned not to talk about it, they don't understand and they don't want to hear it. I don't explain or say I can't have something.....if I am offered something I can't have I just tell them "no thank." Same with dinners out with friends. I do not take food with me to other people's houses.....I figure I can always get something later.

This summer visiting a freind I had not seen in years, she served ribs with BBQ sauce already on them. For me that was not good because most BBQ sauces have either wheat or high fructose and I can't have either. She had also made a huge pasta salad, beans, and there were chips. Wow, right? I chose the rib that looked like it got skipped on the sauce, had a spoon of beans and chips. I felt bad as she had cooked large amounts of everything but I thought it would be worst to explain. The BBQ sause got me.
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Yesterday is not ours to recover but today is ours to win or lose!

Miscarriage, Kidney stones, Anemia, Pneumonia, Migraines, Restless leg, Bone fractures, Blurred/Double vision, Extreme fatigue, Bone & Joint Pain, Thyroid nodule, Celiac diagnosed 2011, Spine and leg bone loss, GERD, Vitamin deficiencies, Malabsorbtion, Neuropathy issues, Ataxia, Raynaud's Syndrome. Currently on diet with limited grain and sugar.




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