Jump to content

Follow Us:  Twitter Facebook RSS Feed            




   arrowShare this page:
   

   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

 
Ads by Google:
Celiac.com Sponsor:                                    


Photo
- - - - -

Please Help Me Figure This Out..my Roommate Is "poisoning" Me :/


  • Please log in to reply

23 replies to this topic

#1 livelifelarge24

 
livelifelarge24

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 182 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 01:29 PM

Let me preface by saying that I swear I'm not a lunatic... Just super confused :/ I am sorry this is so long of a description but I'm desperately in need of some opinions on what to do in this situation... I have a roommate that is poisoning me with gluten. I don't know if its intentional or unintentional. I don't know whether to talk to him about it or just kick him out.

Some background info - I have been gluten free for a few months now and my lifetime of misery came to a screeching halt. You all know what I mean, the night and day difference between life before and after gluten-free. I would literally CRY tears of joy in disbelief about how great my life had become. I never realized how depressed and foggy my brain had been or how difficult life was being sick all the time til it was all better. All of this happiness came to an end four weeks ago. I haven't told ANYONE other than my fiance because he obviously sees me and knows anyway, but I've been so sick for the past month. It's as if all my symptoms of my glutened life were back, like I never quit eating gluten in the first place. I have been devastated and the disappointment and depression are almost unbearable. I haven't changed anything, added anything or done anything different in my diet or eating habits. Don't eat out ever. I am vigilant. I have spent the last month so confused and unfortunately in too much of a brain fog to even figure it out. I was keeping track of my symptoms in a calendar every day thinking something new - maybe I've taken too much Tylenol, maybe I'm allergic to some foods, maybe I will never have a normal life... Finally, thankfully, staring at my calendar of symptoms made me realize something incredible. My sickness came back almost to the day that our new roommate moved in.

Now let me make a sidebar here to state that I do not like the roommate AT ALL. I think he is a complete and total creep. I am literally afraid of the guy (whom we met on craigslist) and I feel like he is a threat to my personal safety and sanity. I have talked to my fiance about this and he thinks I am totally overracting and that the guy is "socially awkward" but not a threat. I think he might be a serial killer. He just isn't right in the head to me but my fiance says I'm just being paranoid and I can tell its really bothering him so I don't bring it up anymore.

Back to the point. I have realized now that this guy moving in has a DIRECT relation to me being sick. So I started kind of freaking out. He has never shown much respect for my disease and has brushed off some of my instructions about how to keep the kitchen clean. When I explain what happens to me if I get glutened he says "oh thats all?" As if what I go through is no big deal. I can't help but wonder if this dude is performing some sick experiment and putting bread crumbs or flour or something in my food :/ I KNOW that sounds absolutely insane so I haven't said a word about it to ANYONE. The guy just makes me really uncomfortable.

He is a chef and he bakes bread from scratch a lot and leaves flour all over the place. I lysol it then clorox it and be careful to not touch my face and constantly wash up. I have seperate dishes and pans, etc. So I'm wondering if just having his gluten stuff floating around the kitchen is enough to make me THIS sick or is he putting stuff in my food???? I feel like I am just as sick as when I ate pizza and sandwiches every day, that's what makes me paranoid that he is putting something in my food. However, on the other hand, I did realize that the roommate that was here before him was on a diet for weight loss and she was almost 100% vegan and gluten free so there really was very little chance of cross contamination... all she ate was fruits vegetables, protein shakes and almonds.

I know that I can talk to him about being more clean when he cooks... but if he doesn't believe in Celiac or is "experimenting" with me I'd be wasting my time. I could just kick him out but I don't know how to convince my fiance to do that and it would be a financial blow to us right now, especially if I'm just being paranoid. I have only eaten things that I open myself from brand new packages for the past two days but it is getting expensive and frustrating to not be able to leave my leftover tuna or egg salad in the fridge for later.

So, do I just kick him out? Do I talk to him and see if it gets better? Put a hidden camera in the kitchen? HELP PLEASE!!
  • 0
"A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools." - Spanish Proverb

Celiac.com Sponsor:

#2 moose07

 
moose07

    Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 51 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 01:40 PM

I read somewhere that flour can stay in the air for up to 72 hours so maybe because your roommate is baking a lot there is flour in the air. I'm pretty sure that is how I've been glutened a couple of times
  • 1

#3 tictax707

 
tictax707

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 229 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 01:56 PM

I'd say kick him out because he is creepy and you don't feel safe around him. All gluten issues aside, you shouldn't have to live with someone you are afraid of. Your home is supposed to be a place of peace not fear and worry. Finding a roomie on craigslist may work for many people, but I think it's a crap shoot. Is there no other network that you can turn to in order to help with the search? friends of friends or family? church? sports teams? hobby groups?
  • 3
Diagnosed celiac 2002
Diagnosed lymphocytic colitis 2003
Casein free
Love baking/cooking
Love triathlons

#4 Lori2

 
Lori2

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 225 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 02:30 PM

Just my opinion but—
1. Paranoid? Probably. Gluten will do that to most anyone.
2. Is he glutening you? Yes. He doesn’t need to do it intentionally. Just messy baking will do it.
3. You fiancé can’t understand this? Good thing he’s not your husband. You need to get rid of them both.
  • 4

#5 Takala

 
Takala

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,555 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 02:44 PM

You are being cross contaminated by gluten, which is affecting your brain function.

NEVER take a roomate who will not respect your wishes.... he should have been gone yesterday. He should have been GONE the first time he left flour "all over the place.... " what are you thinking, letting somebody like this into your living area.... I would go so far as to say that if you are intimidated by a male roommate you should only have female ones.

Furthermore, you need to NEVER take in another person who will not respect your spaces. I had this problem during my younger college days, most of the roommates I was unfortunate enough to agree to share space with after the good one I had the first 2 years, were losers who talked sweet to begin with, but were petty cons who either tried stiffing me on the rent money, stole things, or who would do really **** stuff like take over my bedroom and leave me a note that I should "sleep on the couch tonight because their boyfriend was over" after I'd come home from working late - what did they care. Then acted miffed when I told them if they did this again, they were toast. The world is full of people like this who don't have any problem with moving from place to place.

I don't know if this guy signed a sublease, but call the cops if you need help evicting and fear the response.... but it may be better to just have other witnesses there as you gently suggest to him it is Time To Move On and he has "x" number of hours/days to get out.

In the future, don't let anybody use wheat flour in your kitchen for any reason. This is what happens.
  • 3

#6 ravenwoodglass

 
ravenwoodglass

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,767 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 03:26 PM

Just my opinion but—
1. Paranoid? Probably. Gluten will do that to most anyone.
2. Is he glutening you? Yes. He doesn’t need to do it intentionally. Just messy baking will do it.
3. You fiancé can’t understand this? Good thing he’s not your husband. You need to get rid of them both.


Unfortunately I have to agree with this.
If you don't feel safe in your home and your fiance is not concerned that is a real red flag for your relationship. Someone who loves you should have your best interests at heart and want you to be happy not side with someone that was found on Craigslist. Hopefully you folks at least did a background check on this guy.
The roommate should be told to move. You may want to check with your local legal aid to find out how much notice you have to give him. If he is not on the lease and it is a month to month rental you may have to give him 30 days notice.
  • 1
Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

#7 Jenniferxgfx

 
Jenniferxgfx

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 296 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 03:36 PM

I can't use my bread machine to make bread for my gluten eaters because I react to the contained kneading and baking. We used mixes too and even when someone put the box straight into the machine and I was in another room, I'd react. Badly. Airborne gluten is bad news. And a chef baking from scratch is going to do way more damage than my bread machine. I'd be miserable, too. That guy is a jerk for moving in with YOU and not respecting your space or health. In this economy (if you're in the US), there are 15 more down and out respectful folks looking to take this creep's place. And odds are good one of them is gluten-free, too.

Good luck.
  • 0

glutenfree since 6/2011. sick for 30 years.

borderline blood test, negative biopsy.

SEVERELY sensitive celiac with DH. sensitive to contact and ingestion.

asthma (was severe; improved exponentially after 6/11)

spina bifida & childhood SCI at L4/L5 (possibly complicated by weak bones)

countless fractures and infections.

i once listed over 100 symptoms or conditions that improved or were eliminated after 6/11.

very vegan. and, of course, i've also discovered some other food allergies.


#8 livelifelarge24

 
livelifelarge24

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 182 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 03:58 PM

I guess I never realized how big of an issue cross contamination could be, and therefore neither did my fiancé. He has been incredibly supportive & eats almost 100% gluten free unless he goes to a restaurant without me. He asked me last night ifbu thought the roommate could be doing this on purpose & I was so afraid of seeming paranoid that I said in sure he wouldn't. I honestly never thought to consider what was happening in the kitchen while I wasn't in there, I thought purchasing my own things gluten free was good enough. I'm still fairly new to this & really didn't put two and two together about the fact that my old roommate was gluten free (she doesnt have celiac so I didn't look at it that way) and the new one isn't. It really scares me to think that I'm THAT sensitive, I thought this disease was super manageable but if I can get sick from breathing in bad air I'm afraid I'll become a hermit now out of fear :/ I don't think we would have gotten this roommate if it weren't for the fact that the only other one we had lived here for two years & was incredibly quiet, reliable & led a simple life. I guess we were naive tothink the next one would be the same.
  • 0
"A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools." - Spanish Proverb

#9 livelifelarge24

 
livelifelarge24

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 182 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 04:00 PM

P.S. The roommate happens to be a chef and his attitude about celiac not being "that bad" makes me scared to ever eat out! If a chef wouldn't take the time to educate themselves on how to avoid making their roommate sick I shudder to think how he would behave in a restaurant
  • 0
"A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools." - Spanish Proverb

#10 Skylark

 
Skylark

    Glutenologist

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,490 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 04:38 PM

Now let me make a sidebar here to state that I do not like the roommate AT ALL. I think he is a complete and total creep. I am literally afraid of the guy (whom we met on craigslist) and I feel like he is a threat to my personal safety and sanity. I have talked to my fiance about this and he thinks I am totally overracting and that the guy is "socially awkward" but not a threat. I think he might be a serial killer. He just isn't right in the head to me but my fiance says I'm just being paranoid and I can tell its really bothering him so I don't bring it up anymore.

Hon, you need to get rid of this roommate. And you need to get rid of your fiance if he won't support your decision. He is not respecting your feelings and your fear, and someone like that is not good to marry. What else bad is going to happen that your fiance just brushes off? And no, he's not being "incredibly supportive" as you said in another reply if he is insisting you live with someone who frightens you.

Times are hard. You can find another roommate easily enough and you might try advertising for one who is also gluten-free.

By the way, almost nobody on this board allows flour into the kitchen. The stuff gets everywhere and CC is pretty much a given.
  • 1

#11 Jenniferxgfx

 
Jenniferxgfx

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 296 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 06:34 PM

It's been really scary for me to discover how sensitive I am, too. It's hard for me to comprehend how my diet revolved around gluten before and now a little cc kicks my butt. I guess that's why I was so sick, too, I was just too sick to know :(
  • 0

glutenfree since 6/2011. sick for 30 years.

borderline blood test, negative biopsy.

SEVERELY sensitive celiac with DH. sensitive to contact and ingestion.

asthma (was severe; improved exponentially after 6/11)

spina bifida & childhood SCI at L4/L5 (possibly complicated by weak bones)

countless fractures and infections.

i once listed over 100 symptoms or conditions that improved or were eliminated after 6/11.

very vegan. and, of course, i've also discovered some other food allergies.


#12 livelifelarge24

 
livelifelarge24

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 182 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 06:43 PM

Thanks for the info everybody. It helps me to know that CC really CAN make you thatsick andthat I'm not imagining things & more importantly, that there's an answer. I talked to my fiancé about everything you all have told me & why I've been reading & he wants to tell the roommate in detail what the situation is & ask that he either not use flour anymore or we will have to give him noir to leave. He told me to look for a gluten free roommate & I think that's a great idea. He's gone working at night & I really do not want to be here alone all the time. This is all new to both of us & we're trying our best to figure it all out. He put an air purifier in the kitchen and cloroxed out a cabinet for my things & labeled it the gluten free zone lol. I feel so overwhelmed though, I really hope this gets easier
  • 1
"A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools." - Spanish Proverb

#13 GlutenFreeManna

 
GlutenFreeManna

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,887 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 07:48 PM

Others have already said it but I think it bears repeating: flour will stay in the air and contaminate everything in your kitchen. Even people on this board that live in mixed households and are not super sensitive typically have a "no-flour" rule for their kitchens. Absolutely, 100% certain your new roommate is poisioning you by baking in your kitchen. He may or may not be doing it on purpose, but without a doubt it is happening and you are NOT crazy or just paranoid. His cavilier attitude about it is even worse. I wouldn't bother confronting him or asking him to change (he may just say okay and then still use flour when you are not there). I would just ask him to leave. Besides the health issue is the issue that you said he acts very creepy and you are not comfortable. No way I would live with someone that scared me. Not sure what your screening process was (if any) when you decided to let him live there but perhaps next time you should ask some detailed questions about lifestyle, explain the rules etc, BEFORE you let another roommate move in. Asking for references that can vouch that they are a trust-worthy individual doesn't hurt either. If you have to take in someone else that is not gluten-free, at the very least seeing their reaction when you explain the rules will give you an idea of how seriously they will take it.
  • 1
A simple meal with love is better than a feast where there is hatred. Proverbs 15:17 (CEV)

#14 livelifelarge24

 
livelifelarge24

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 182 posts
 

Posted 02 September 2011 - 08:43 PM

Those are all great ideas. This guy had great references, actually noes from just down the street. I guess the problem was that it was too new for me to even knowthe "rules" to explain. I definitely know better now for next time. I fond new things all the time that I didn't know before & it's so mch to remember. I guess I won't be doing my major Christmas gift baking this year!
  • 0
"A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools." - Spanish Proverb

#15 nora_n

 
nora_n

    Advanced Community Member

  • Advanced Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,490 posts
 

Posted 03 September 2011 - 05:43 AM

I do all the cooking here.
I used to bake for husband, and continue to bake after going gluten free (not so often, but a few times a month)

My entire body felt itchy (I have DH too) and I had to stop baking.

I thought I was really really careful about floating flour. Never kneaded the dough, just poured it into pans.

did not matter.

Too much gluten flour in the air.

Now sometimes I had to be in the same room for a while at work where there is a kitchen, and they bake bread or rolls or pizza several times a week but only in the morning, and I also react to that.

You are not imagining this.

Nora
  • 0
gluten-free since may 06 after neg. biopsy symptoms went away and DH symptoms which I had since 03 got gradually better.
daughter officially diagnosed celiac and casein intolerant.
non-DQ2 or DQ8. Maybe DQ1? Updated: Yes, double DQ5
Hypothyroid since 2000, thyroxine first started to work well 06 on a low-carb and gluten-free diet
Lost 20 kg after going gluten-free and weighing 53 kg now. neg. biopsy for DH. Found out afterwards from this forum that it should have been taken during an outbreak but it was taken two weeks after. vitaminD was 57 nmol/l in may08)




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Celiac.com Sponsors: