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I Just Want The Holidays To Be Over


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37 replies to this topic

#1 alex11602

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 08:44 AM

Normally I wouldn't complain in the least about not being able to eat everything because I am so grateful that I don't feel sick all the time, but this is our first holiday that has alot of things served which we can not eat. I am not sure if I can deal with the holidays this year, especially Thanksgiving...we always go over to my mom's house, no matter what since it is tradition and I guess she serves the normal food. There is turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, green bean casserole, regular stuffing, sweet potato stuffing, sweet potatoes, sauteed mushrooms and cranberry sauce with pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie and apple pie for dessert. The only things I really ate were the regular stuffing, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce and the pumpkin and sweet potato pies...none of which I can eat this year:(

Eight months ago I just jumped right into gluten free eating and I haven't really had a problem with it, but now I am dreading the holidays and end up crying about it almost everyday which is completely ridiculous. I really want to see my family, we live really close to them but holidays are family time and it's pretty much a rule that we have to be there and I'm just unsure if I can deal with it this year.

I have tried to think of different options like not going, bringing my own food or eating before we go, but none of them are going to be options for a holiday meal. I tried talking to my husband about it but he doesn't understand why I can't just say we aren't going...my grandmother would be extremely upset and she is getting older so I'm just not sure I should do that to her.

I'm sorry, I just had to vent and I'm just not sure what to do right now.
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#2 DonnaMM

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 08:49 AM

I don't know what job you have but I work as a nurse and purposely work thanksgiving (because that is the holiday where my family serves the most glutinous foods) as an excuse to get out of family dinner, but I know jot everyone has the ability. I assume because they are family they understand your medical needs. I would recommend asking your mom if you could help make thanksgiving dinner and do it gluten free style. Don't bother to tell the rest of your family they probably would not even be able to tell the difference. Plus it would be a great chance to spend time with your mom and she would probably love the help. Good luck and happy holidays
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Hodgkins Lymphoma-2006 at age 18, now 25
Disagnosed with IBS and anxiety (related to my treatment they say)-2007
Allergies to corn, tree nuts, shellfish, bees- 2010
Positive Lupus Anticoagulant-2011
Erosive esophagitis-2011
Severe iron deficiency anemia- 2012
Inappropriate sinus tachycardia-2013
Tested for celiac three times, blood and biopsies all negative
Now encouraged to undergo testing again due to malabsorption

#3 alex11602

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 08:54 AM

I don't know what job you have but I work as a nurse and purposely work thanksgiving (because that is the holiday where my family serves the most glutinous foods) as an excuse to get out of family dinner, but I know jot everyone has the ability. I assume because they are family they understand your medical needs. I would recommend asking your mom if you could help make thanksgiving dinner and do it gluten free style. Don't bother to tell the rest of your family they probably would not even be able to tell the difference. Plus it would be a great chance to spend time with your mom and she would probably love the help. Good luck and happy holidays


I don't work right now and they don't take being gluten free seriously at all. It's a very small family get together...my husband, my daughters and I going over to my mother's house which is my mom, dad, sister and grandmother. We were only diagnosed by dietary response so we are stuck. And no one is allowed to help my mother...she doesn't like having people in the kitchen with her since it just makes things more difficult for her. Thank you though!
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#4 DonnaMM

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 09:09 AM

I am sorry that your family is not as supportive that definitely makes it harder. I know it is not what you want but it appears your husband is more understanding of your dietary needs so you could just have a romantic thanksgiving dinner with the two of you. For the experience with my husband he is not too fond of family get togetheris and would rather it be intimate. You could also make yourself your own little thanksgiving plate to bring but that may you're your mothers feelings a little bit.
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Hodgkins Lymphoma-2006 at age 18, now 25
Disagnosed with IBS and anxiety (related to my treatment they say)-2007
Allergies to corn, tree nuts, shellfish, bees- 2010
Positive Lupus Anticoagulant-2011
Erosive esophagitis-2011
Severe iron deficiency anemia- 2012
Inappropriate sinus tachycardia-2013
Tested for celiac three times, blood and biopsies all negative
Now encouraged to undergo testing again due to malabsorption

#5 DonnaMM

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 09:10 AM

And be sure to bring a gluten free dessert to share with everyone!
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Hodgkins Lymphoma-2006 at age 18, now 25
Disagnosed with IBS and anxiety (related to my treatment they say)-2007
Allergies to corn, tree nuts, shellfish, bees- 2010
Positive Lupus Anticoagulant-2011
Erosive esophagitis-2011
Severe iron deficiency anemia- 2012
Inappropriate sinus tachycardia-2013
Tested for celiac three times, blood and biopsies all negative
Now encouraged to undergo testing again due to malabsorption

#6 alex11602

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 09:20 AM

I am sorry that your family is not as supportive that definitely makes it harder. I know it is not what you want but it appears your husband is more understanding of your dietary needs so you could just have a romantic thanksgiving dinner with the two of you. For the experience with my husband he is not too fond of family get togetheris and would rather it be intimate. You could also make yourself your own little thanksgiving plate to bring but that may you're your mothers feelings a little bit.


My husband is extremely understanding and I am so grateful for that. He went gluten free with me and our daughters and found that he felt better too so he definitely understands. I guess there are alot of things to think about in the next few weeks.
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#7 NateJ

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 09:23 AM

yeah, I'm not looking forward to this either. I'm thinking of taking my kids to NYC just for a few days to see the parade and avoid gluten. I'm not sure how else to deal with it. I'm not going to sit and watch my family cram themselves full of poison while I eat fruit. no thanks.
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#8 wjp

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 09:33 AM

Last Thanksgiving was my first gluten free Thanksgiving. I did have everyone at my house and yes it was totally gluten free. Maybe you can cook a mini-thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday evening and take some leftovers for you the next day. There are some wonderful gluten free stuffing recipes out there. It doesn't have to be huge meal but maybe some of your favorite foods. Mom will have to get over it if she gets offended by you not eating her food. Make sure you make a good dessert - maybe even one to take on Thursday with you. I have a great recipe for banana bread and banana pudding. The banana pudding one would be large enough for everyone. I know last Thanksgiving I was nervous about everyone eating gluten free but it turned out great. Good luck!!!!
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#9 melikamaui

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 09:38 AM

I agree with Wjp. Why not make your own super yummy gluten-free dinner and bring it? There are some fantastic recipes online. I made my first ever gluten-free thanksgiving last year and it was a huge success! My family agreed that some of the dishes were actually better than their gluten filled counterparts! Make everyone jealous with your mouth watering gluten-free meal. :D
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#10 pricklypear1971

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 09:39 AM

To the OP....

Perhaps what your Mom needs is to see you not eat her food. Perhaps that will knock some sense into her? I doubt letting you help her cook would be the end of her world. She'll learn. And if she doesn't-oh we'll. Move on and find other things to talk about.

I'd go - Thanksgiving is about more than the meal...,but I'd take my own food! Get a turkey breast and cook it the night before - make your own quick versions of whatever you like and pack it and take it and eat it. Yum yum.
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#11 rainer83

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 09:39 AM

I'm sorry you have to go through that :(

I know exactly what you're going through. I've been gluten free for 2 years and I haven't had a Thanksgiving dinner with my family since. My sister and I don't get along at all, we don't speak and it goes beyond rivalry to a down right hatred. She uses the celiac to her advantage during the holidays. She opts to make the dinners for Easter and Thanksgiving, and makes nothing I can eat. I volunteer to make something and she gets angry and says it will taste gross and no one will eat it. I've spent my last 2 Thanksgivings and Easters alone because of her and her attitude towards me. It's not easy at all.
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#12 kareng

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 10:01 AM

We have everyone over here. Pain in the behind for me but I know what all the food is. Even bigger pain this year because my mom has to be super low sodium. My dad suggested I not make the really yummy scalloped potatoes because they are so high in sodium. She wouldn't care if she can't eat the green beans but she really likes the potatoes. I can relate to having to watch people eat yummy stuff I can't.
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#13 SilverSlipper

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 10:12 AM

Some of our family members get it and some do not. Ironically, my dad and step-mom are the worst and she is diagnosed with celiac disease (she has DH, but no stomach problems). We decided last year to avoid family holidays during meals. We go visit at other times.

This year I'm preparing Thanksgiving dinner and inviting everyone over here. It will be quite a bit of work, but I can't wait to see my daughter's face when the meal is ready!
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#14 Takala

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 10:22 AM

Agree, if you must travel to visit the glutenoids, cook your own dinner before and sit down in a leisurely fashion and enjoy it on Tues or Wednesday. Then take leftovers on a plate for you to eat off of during the "event."

All of the things you listed as liking to eat, can easily be made gluten free. In fact, "stuffing" is the only real use for certain types of commercial rice/tapioca gluten-free breads, besides doorstops and wheel chocks. :P I don't even use bread in stuffing, I use pecans and mushrooms. Some traditions use cornbread or wild rice. If you don't like to make pie shells, you can buy frozen pre made gluten free ones, or get a boxed mix which just needs egg, "butter," and water added. Cranberry sauce is ridiculously easy to make in advance, and then keeps in the refrigerator a long time. If you need help substituting, go to the baking/cooking forum and ask. If you aren't doing dairy or eggs, there ARE other ingredients which work.

Most people, when presented with a loaf of gluten-free banana- almond meal bread on the counter pre sliced, with the piece you need already taken off for safekeeping, will eat it without a qualm. They'll eat anything, really, as long as it's halfway decent. Either butter, cheese, honey, or garlic and olive oil fixes most things. ;)

If Mother doesn't like it, too bad. She is just going to have to get over herself. This is about being social, not about getting sick because you're pretending you aren't what you are.
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#15 Roda

 
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Posted 03 November 2011 - 11:32 PM

Awhile ago hubby recieved an invitation to a pig roast. He debated even telling me about the invitation, because he knows that our two boys and I can not eat the food. I told him to accept the invitation because I want to socialize with people and that we rarely do anything. My husband the butcher, is bringing me home a pork butt and I am going to smoke it and make pulled pork. I am going to take that and some sides for the boys and I to eat while hubby eats the food at the pig roast. Most people won't notice since the pork will be similar. However, this is a lot different than the intimate dinner with family. I think you should go and have a nice holiday visit with grandma and your parents. Cook a small turkey breast or small whole chicken the day before with all the trimmings that you normally would have at your parents (gluten free of course) and take it and enjoy yourself. Your family might take it more seriously if you don't eat their food. This could end up positive if they take note and ask questions on how to handle your food in the future.

We usually stay home for the holidays because of my husbands and my jobs. My family is 560 miles away and my husbands is 250 miles. We can't make a day trip. It's usually just the four of us so no issues there.
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Me:
Celiac disease(positive blood work/biopsy- 10/2008), gluten free oat intolerent, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis/Disease, Raynaud's Disease


DS2(age 9):
celiac disease(positive IgA tTG, no biopsy- 11/2010)


DS1(age 13):
repeated negative bloodwork and negative EGD/biopsy. Started on a gluten free trial(8/2011). He has decided to stay gluten free due to all of the improvements he has experienced on the diet.





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