Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

Celiac Roommate
0

13 posts in this topic

Hi everyone,

I realize this is the opposite of what you're used to, but here goes: I am not a celiac, but my roommate is. I knew this before we decided to live together, and agreed not to use flour in the kitchen, which I don't, we have separate dishes for if I cook pasta or fry something glutinous, we even have separate sponges for washing glutinous dishes. Now here is my beef: my roommate is currently dating a non-celiac, and spending most days in his partner's apartment, (cooking), but... the partner isn't gluten free! they share dishes, and he's even baked BREAD in the kitchen. I've even seen them share dips that were gluten contaminated. Furthermore, this roommate often eats out, and I feel like all my hard work is going to waste, and I'm fed up of trying to hard to keep things gluten free. How/can I bring this up with my roommate? How would you, as a celiac, react to a non celiac friend pointing out all the ways you are not being careful? I figure its hard enough, but I'd like to know if as a celiac you think this is normal, or if said roommate might not be as sensitive as he thinks?

Any input would be appreciated

Thanks!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:

Hi everyone,

I realize this is the opposite of what you're used to, but here goes: I am not a celiac, but my roommate is. I knew this before we decided to live together, and agreed not to use flour in the kitchen, which I don't, we have separate dishes for if I cook pasta or fry something glutinous, we even have separate sponges for washing glutinous dishes. Now here is my beef: my roommate is currently dating a non-celiac, and spending most days in his partner's apartment, (cooking), but... the partner isn't gluten free! they share dishes, and he's even baked BREAD in the kitchen. I've even seen them share dips that were gluten contaminated. Furthermore, this roommate often eats out, and I feel like all my hard work is going to waste, and I'm fed up of trying to hard to keep things gluten free. How/can I bring this up with my roommate? How would you, as a celiac, react to a non celiac friend pointing out all the ways you are not being careful? I figure its hard enough, but I'd like to know if as a celiac you think this is normal, or if said roommate might not be as sensitive as he thinks?

Any input would be appreciated

Thanks!

How incredibly frustrating for you. And how incredibly irresponsible of your roommate. Did he really bake regular gluten full BREAD ?!?!?!?!? What a dufus ! (Do you use this word in Nth America?)

You need to be honest with him about what this is doing to your head and your patience. No one should have to watch on and play along to such double standards.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wish all roommates were as great as you about being careful.

Is this girlfreind a pretty new one? If he really likes her he may feel if he 'sticks to the rules' around her it will be too much for her and he will lose her. Do you have a good relationship with the girlfreind? If you do you could talk to her about it or maybe help him to do so.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think i'ld say something to my roommate ( who appears to be a close friend). I might point out that gas, bloating & calling the new " friend" by the wrong name ( brain fog) are not very romantic.. I would ask if the new love knows about the Celiac. If so, maybe offer to explain cc and safe kitchen procedures to him ( her). If not, the new love needs to know right away.

In the end, all we can do is encourage & nag. He's an adult.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, I have a sort of devious idea.

Invite her over for a meal that you will prepare, for all 3 or 4 of you to have together, (you can invite another SO or friend, and even let them in on joke) to be gluten free. ;) And while serving this, you can make sort of a Big Deal Out of It, casually, like "and this is the risotto that was prepared to be GLUTEN FREE, so I used the Lundberg brand," or "I hope you like Tinkyada ? I made the sauce for it myself, from scratch," and "Oh, No, we don't use THAT BRAND of bread because it's not GLUTEN FREE, we use {whatever, like Udi's} and we want to keep our apartment safe for [name of ingrate roomate] so please use that cutting board for the gluten free bread when making the sandwich. Whoops, not that butter, it's cross contaminated, this one." "Oh, wait, not that spatula, this dedicated one." "Here, have these rice crackers with the cheese, not those. " "I made this bread myself from the Pamela's mix, in the microwave in a bowl, I hope you like it." "Chebe breadstick ? Aren't they great?" "Have another taco. I made sure this brand of tortilla was gluten free and manufactured in a facility that tested for cc, btw."

You get the idea.

I don't know if he'd be speaking to you the next week, but it would be worth it to see the look on his face. ^_^

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites




I have a sneaking suspicion the gluten intolerant roommate couldn't care less, and trying to embarrass him/her won't do a bit of good. Subtleties are lost on those in heat....

If the gluten-free roomie is not being gluten-free, it will backfire soon. Just be patient...don't abandon gluten-free habits in the shared house yet...because s/he will be back in the diet soon or completely give it up (and you can totally stop worrying about it).

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with pricklypear that he'll pay sooner or later, also you pointing out how bad he is treating his celiac could really make things tense between the two of you. You really have no place to be correcting his mistakes on his diet unless he asks or starts bitching about how poorly he feels. But, if you bring it up on your own you could distroy your friendship and make the rest of the year living hell.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I would just say something like "hey, I notice you are not on the gluten free diet right now, so can we relax the rules at home for now?"

Or, "now that you are taking a break from the diet, I am going to relax the rules at home. Just let me know when you want to go back to a safer kitchen."

Or something similar. The point being, let him know you are aware and not judging, but would like a break while he takes his break.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder if he's the type of person who, when he finally DOES get sick, will blame it on you. You are keeping your promise to have a safe kitchen, but if he gets sick, he probably won't blame his new sweetheart. And although we all know he should blame HIMSELF, it's human nature to find someone else to blame.

I would talk to him about it. Just lay your cards on the table, let him know that you are concerned, and then the ball is in his court.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks so much everyone! You guys are great, I used this forum a lot to understand celiac's, and it's been a great ressource!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks so much everyone! You guys are great, I used this forum a lot to understand celiac's, and it's been a great ressource!

So.....don't leave us in suspense What did you do?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I came back here because I was wondering the same thing. What happened? I also want to say that you seem like a great guy to be so caring about your roommate. It seems he is blinded by love.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      104,695
    • Total Posts
      921,779
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Advil (ibuprofen) is gluten-free, but can be a stomach irritant, especially if taken on an empty stomach. That said, I will also place my bet on the garlic and onions. As Raven said, eating more than once a day may also help. An empty stomach is likely to be an irritable stomach.
    • Another link: http://naldc.nal.usda.gov/download/7351/PDF
    • Thanks for posting.  I know it is difficult to talk about these sorts of things even on a webforum.  It is good thing for people to be aware though about celiac disease and that it can cause mental problems.  Gluten can cause brain damage and it can cause anxiety. If the brain does heal it may take a long time. I know that gluten can cause anxiety and obsessive thoughts.  My experience has been similar to your experience. When I first quit eating gluten I had a similar constant loop and strong negative feelings. There are lots of people on this forum who get anxiety when they eat gluten. Some people also experience gluten withdrawl where they experience anxiety after giving up gluten. It can take a long time for the body to heal and for obsessive thoughts to go away.
       It is normal for people to socialize with each other and to be comfortable about it. You said you have problems still socializing and being around people. It might be a depressing thought but it sounds to me like you still have problems with anxiety.  I would recommend considering what options you have available to treat the anxiety. When I quit eating Gluten I still had some symptoms, even though I felt much better. I have been slowly recovering over a period of about three years. I had obsessive thoughts even after I quit eating gluten.  Now I very rarely if at all think about those things. My experience is that my mind would latch on to certain things that caused me anxiety and focus on those things. Sometimes my focus would shift and I would latch onto other things. My ability to socialize has also improved greatly with time. I have made some dietary changes which I believe have helped greatly. It sounds to me like you have obsessive thoughts about things and maybe some brain damage. My experience has been that my obsessive thoughts about different things went away with time. I feel my obsessive thoughts were caused by gluten and not by what people did around me or any events. As my brain healed I became more self aware and things became less stressful.  I can't give medical advice on this forum but I can talk about my current diet and my experience with celiac disease. My experience with gluten is different from a lot of other people so it is a good idea to ask other people and to talk to a doctor.  I avoid oats and avoid almost all processed foods. I buy certified gluten free food. I eat healthy and I exercise every day. I take st John's Wort as I have read studies that say it may be as effective as some other anti-depressants for treating certain types of anxiety. It is available over the counter. I started with a small dosage and then stepped it up over time. I think it helps a lot.  This is also something that you should talk to a doctor about first. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Martin_Mahoney2/publication/7426926_St._John's_wort/links/540d8acc0cf2f2b29a386673.pdf A lot of people with celiac disease have vitamin deficiencies.  Vitamin b deficiency can cause anxiety. Some people do not process the synthetic form of vitamin b (from normal pills)  very well, and do better on an activated form of vitamin b. I take:
      1 activated vitamin b12 daily
      1 activated vitamin b6 every once in a while. 1 regular vitamin b multivitamin
      1 magnesium pill every day.
      St Johns Wort daily.
      1 zinc vitamin daily
      I drink lots of Chamomile tea and decaf coffee. I avoid most caffeine. 
      I think each of these helps lower my anxiety level.  I eat fruit with every meal. Canned fruit from walmart is cheap and good for you. I eat salad and and vegetables and avoid dairy.  I eat frozen fish often as it has healthy proteins. Eating healthy is very important. I eat potatoes and rice. http://www.livestrong.com/article/454179-what-is-methyl-b12/ I avoid eating soy sauce, soy, cheese, aged meats and fermented foods (I do drink certain types of alcohol in moderate amounts.) These foods contain lots of Tyramine. I might (or might not) have "monoaine oxidase deficiency" and if so high Tyramine foods should be avoided.  I thought I might have problems with elevated ammonia in my blood, but I am not convinced of that anymore. I limited my consumption of meat for a while as well as dairy but I am not sure if i helped.  I have heard that Celiac disease can effect other organs besides the brain and those organs can have an effect on the brain.  My current diet is working so I am going to stick with it for now. I try not to worry about things that are outside of my control. Be patient as it took me a long time to recover.  Let me know if you have any questions. There is a lot of information on this site and people who are willing to help.
       
    • Thank you. This is really helpful. I will call around next week.  I just want to heal! 
    • My endoscopy showed i had decreased folds in my duodenum. The biopsy came back and showed that my villi were fine... i have been on a gluten free diet for 6 years because i was just told i was intolerant but never had any testing before. when i eat gluten i get sick for 2 weeks. i came down with issues of other foods in march so they were trying to figure out why and wanted to know if i had celiac are not because that would explain why dairy and fructose are a problem.. both intolerant test for both were negative but the fructose test made me extremely sick but it was negative...      Im trying to figure out why i have decreased  folds in the first place. my Gi doctor is stumped on that to why the endoscopy would show damage but the under the microscope are fine. She is going to call the dr who did my scope and then is supposed to get back to  me..    would being gluten free for 6 year make it so there was damage and then my vili are now fine but still cant be seen in the endoscope?
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Who's Online (See full list)

    There are no registered users currently online

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      61,701
    • Most Online
      3,093

    Newest Member
    Dtroutmann
    Joined