Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

Celiac Roommate
0

13 posts in this topic

Hi everyone,

I realize this is the opposite of what you're used to, but here goes: I am not a celiac, but my roommate is. I knew this before we decided to live together, and agreed not to use flour in the kitchen, which I don't, we have separate dishes for if I cook pasta or fry something glutinous, we even have separate sponges for washing glutinous dishes. Now here is my beef: my roommate is currently dating a non-celiac, and spending most days in his partner's apartment, (cooking), but... the partner isn't gluten free! they share dishes, and he's even baked BREAD in the kitchen. I've even seen them share dips that were gluten contaminated. Furthermore, this roommate often eats out, and I feel like all my hard work is going to waste, and I'm fed up of trying to hard to keep things gluten free. How/can I bring this up with my roommate? How would you, as a celiac, react to a non celiac friend pointing out all the ways you are not being careful? I figure its hard enough, but I'd like to know if as a celiac you think this is normal, or if said roommate might not be as sensitive as he thinks?

Any input would be appreciated

Thanks!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:

Hi everyone,

I realize this is the opposite of what you're used to, but here goes: I am not a celiac, but my roommate is. I knew this before we decided to live together, and agreed not to use flour in the kitchen, which I don't, we have separate dishes for if I cook pasta or fry something glutinous, we even have separate sponges for washing glutinous dishes. Now here is my beef: my roommate is currently dating a non-celiac, and spending most days in his partner's apartment, (cooking), but... the partner isn't gluten free! they share dishes, and he's even baked BREAD in the kitchen. I've even seen them share dips that were gluten contaminated. Furthermore, this roommate often eats out, and I feel like all my hard work is going to waste, and I'm fed up of trying to hard to keep things gluten free. How/can I bring this up with my roommate? How would you, as a celiac, react to a non celiac friend pointing out all the ways you are not being careful? I figure its hard enough, but I'd like to know if as a celiac you think this is normal, or if said roommate might not be as sensitive as he thinks?

Any input would be appreciated

Thanks!

How incredibly frustrating for you. And how incredibly irresponsible of your roommate. Did he really bake regular gluten full BREAD ?!?!?!?!? What a dufus ! (Do you use this word in Nth America?)

You need to be honest with him about what this is doing to your head and your patience. No one should have to watch on and play along to such double standards.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wish all roommates were as great as you about being careful.

Is this girlfreind a pretty new one? If he really likes her he may feel if he 'sticks to the rules' around her it will be too much for her and he will lose her. Do you have a good relationship with the girlfreind? If you do you could talk to her about it or maybe help him to do so.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think i'ld say something to my roommate ( who appears to be a close friend). I might point out that gas, bloating & calling the new " friend" by the wrong name ( brain fog) are not very romantic.. I would ask if the new love knows about the Celiac. If so, maybe offer to explain cc and safe kitchen procedures to him ( her). If not, the new love needs to know right away.

In the end, all we can do is encourage & nag. He's an adult.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, I have a sort of devious idea.

Invite her over for a meal that you will prepare, for all 3 or 4 of you to have together, (you can invite another SO or friend, and even let them in on joke) to be gluten free. ;) And while serving this, you can make sort of a Big Deal Out of It, casually, like "and this is the risotto that was prepared to be GLUTEN FREE, so I used the Lundberg brand," or "I hope you like Tinkyada ? I made the sauce for it myself, from scratch," and "Oh, No, we don't use THAT BRAND of bread because it's not GLUTEN FREE, we use {whatever, like Udi's} and we want to keep our apartment safe for [name of ingrate roomate] so please use that cutting board for the gluten free bread when making the sandwich. Whoops, not that butter, it's cross contaminated, this one." "Oh, wait, not that spatula, this dedicated one." "Here, have these rice crackers with the cheese, not those. " "I made this bread myself from the Pamela's mix, in the microwave in a bowl, I hope you like it." "Chebe breadstick ? Aren't they great?" "Have another taco. I made sure this brand of tortilla was gluten free and manufactured in a facility that tested for cc, btw."

You get the idea.

I don't know if he'd be speaking to you the next week, but it would be worth it to see the look on his face. ^_^

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites




I have a sneaking suspicion the gluten intolerant roommate couldn't care less, and trying to embarrass him/her won't do a bit of good. Subtleties are lost on those in heat....

If the gluten-free roomie is not being gluten-free, it will backfire soon. Just be patient...don't abandon gluten-free habits in the shared house yet...because s/he will be back in the diet soon or completely give it up (and you can totally stop worrying about it).

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with pricklypear that he'll pay sooner or later, also you pointing out how bad he is treating his celiac could really make things tense between the two of you. You really have no place to be correcting his mistakes on his diet unless he asks or starts bitching about how poorly he feels. But, if you bring it up on your own you could distroy your friendship and make the rest of the year living hell.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think I would just say something like "hey, I notice you are not on the gluten free diet right now, so can we relax the rules at home for now?"

Or, "now that you are taking a break from the diet, I am going to relax the rules at home. Just let me know when you want to go back to a safer kitchen."

Or something similar. The point being, let him know you are aware and not judging, but would like a break while he takes his break.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder if he's the type of person who, when he finally DOES get sick, will blame it on you. You are keeping your promise to have a safe kitchen, but if he gets sick, he probably won't blame his new sweetheart. And although we all know he should blame HIMSELF, it's human nature to find someone else to blame.

I would talk to him about it. Just lay your cards on the table, let him know that you are concerned, and then the ball is in his court.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks so much everyone! You guys are great, I used this forum a lot to understand celiac's, and it's been a great ressource!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks so much everyone! You guys are great, I used this forum a lot to understand celiac's, and it's been a great ressource!

So.....don't leave us in suspense What did you do?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I came back here because I was wondering the same thing. What happened? I also want to say that you seem like a great guy to be so caring about your roommate. It seems he is blinded by love.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      104,640
    • Total Posts
      921,544
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • I get these crazy cravings for some things I can not eat anymore. Not only am I diagnosed with celiac but I also have a allergy to corn, olives, sesame, peanuts, and intolerance to yeast, soy, dairy, and a very low tolerance for carbs/sugars, Top it off with I can not digest meats or egg yolks, they just give me the burps and come up later.
        To deal with these I find myself turning to Republic of Teas (They have a great desert tea line up all certified gluten-free) and sweetening them with monk fruit extract, or stevia. And I find myself making Puddings bases that I use for shakes, dips, and ice-cream for meals. The puddings are normally a blend of cashew, or almond milk with a thickening agent like agar agar, pectin, or knoxx gelatin, blended with a sweetener like xylitol, swerve, stevia, monk fruit or a combination. And flavored with Lor Ann Oils (all gluten-free certified and you can find the kosher ones listed as such) super strength flavors or fountain syrups to match something I can not eat normally a combination of two flavors (Strawberry Cheesecake, Banana and Carmel, Cookies & Cream, etc) Then I add a fat that matches best, like almond butter, cashew butter, hemp butter, ground flax seed, coconut flour, chocolate, Pumpkin seed butter or a combination) These bases are normally blended up and consumed with 1-2 scoops of protein powder and eaten with steamed vegges as a side dip or loaded into a ice cream maker for a desert after my meals.      Also found myself making desert soups....like a pumpkin soup that taste like pumpkin pie. I am sure we all have our little quirks but this is one of mine for getting that sweet craving taken care of. Most premade items are off my list due to the allergies and it seems most companies use the oils, starches I am allergic to as non stick or thickening agents, Even the semi safe ones tend to put way to much sugars in them and I find myself only being able to nibble . There is also my little binge issues with almonds, pumpkin seeds, and, cocoa but that was explained to me as normal And on my most craving for peanuts I have found sancha inchi powder to work great, The Powder itself taste like the girl scout peanut butter cookie sandwich from my childhood, And is great mixed with a bit of almond milk into a butter or used in baking and smoothies. Before this I have been making Artisan blends of almond butter for years and even made a market selling them to pay  for my own consumption. Baked goods wise I have a bunch of recipes I make for others and sell at markets and this allows me to nibble on a sample to check it, as most contain a bean or gluten-free Harvest Oats/Flour in them and the carbs from that and the coconut sugars bother me. Still helps with cravings there, I only have 2 recipes that sell good and are safe for me to eat full servings of but are so expensive as they use almond and coconut flours, low sugars/xylitol and are paleo that I only can afford to make them once a month. Posting to hear about some odd and out there ways others deal with substitutions and cravings. Please do not bash mine as odd as they might be as they keep me from going crazy. (Yes I know DROP THE OATS, fact is I only get them when tasting stuff and they are gluten-free Harvest, the only ones I have never gotten glutend with)  
    • After suffering pretty much all year with one illness after another I've finally managed to get a diagnosis and it turns out to be celiac. After my doctors consistently failing to even consider the possibility it might be that (as opposed to "IBS" or "stress") I kept pushing for the Iga TTg test and it was off the charts with a score of >128... may as well fail it in style I guess. So here I am at the start of what feels like the end of my life as I know it. Been doing nothing but reading for the past week and frankly it's terrifying. Here's a few things that are going round in my head and I'd really appreciate your thoughts with. Apologies if it's a bit of an essay  Diagnosis I'm still furious at my doctors for not even entertaining the thought that celiac could be the root cause of all my ills. Given the blood test is so simple it feels almost negligent that they don't run this right at the start to rule it out. Instead I got subjected to poisons like Omeprazole which made me even more ill, whilst being told the physical symptoms were all in my head. Just as well I knew better and kept hitting up Google until my self-diagnosis was proved correct... to think these people get paid highly to be so incompetent makes my blood boil. Does feel good having outwitted the so-called professionals though. Seems 9 months is comparatively quick from symptoms to diagnosis compared to some others that have gone years with the problems so could be worse I guess. Food and diet I'm male vegetarian (non-negotiable) which makes this even harder as so many of my protein sources are now ruled out. Seems many with celiac were having trouble losing weight whereas I'm in the opposite situation. Already lost best part of a stone in the past few weeks and it's becoming noticeable now. The MyFitnessPal app reckons I need 2600 calories a day to maintain \ gain weight - no idea where that's going to come from. On top of that I read sites like Gluten Dude where even the Gluten Free foods are seen as poisons and going on extreme diets like Paleo \ SCD are the only real way forward. Again being veggie makes that practically impossible and if I'm unlucky enough to end up with the dairy issues as well I'm well and truly stuffed. Right now I'm trying the gluten-free Quorn products to see how I go, as well as more eggs etc. Porridge has been my go-to breakfast in the mornings for a while after I cut out bread whilst self-diagnosing but depending on where you read even that's a potential problem (currently using gluten-free porridge oats and seeing how it goes) Seems many gluten-free people have to go right back to basics and cook everything from scratch. That's a problem for me as I'm utterly hopeless on that front and time doesn't permit waiting hours just to prepare one meal. Seems nigh-on impossible to do day-in, day-out. Health Rightly or wrongly right now I see this diagnosis as a death sentence long-term. Looks like it brings other associated illnesses with it and this particular article really scares me: http://scdlifestyle.com/2012/03/the-gluten-free-lie-why-most-celiacs-are-slowly-dying/ I've only really had noticeable symptoms for the past year or so but wonder how long this has been going on for and what damage has already been done. All seems to have started from when I turned 30 (knew I was dreading that age for a reason) and right now I wonder how long I'm going to last before the really bad stuff starts. One of the other illnesses I'd considered as a possibility before getting diagnosed was Hashimoto's Thyroiditis; now it seems that's closely linked with Celiac so may not be out of the woods with that yet either. Just seems to be one big list of illness all triggered from the same point One positive change I've noticed thus far since cutting out gluten is that bloating seems to have gone down and bowel movements are better. Still getting headaches and muscle twitching, which could be as much a withdrawal symptom from gluten as anything else.  Some sites were suggesting stopping exercise whilst withdrawing but I can't face that as it's the only thing keeping me going at present. Again will keep going as-was and see what happens. Then to top it off it sounds like the next step is the biopsy - I'm scared of being put out for the procedure as a member of family went into hospital a few years back for something supposedly routine and never came back out. From what I've been told it's important to have done though as it shows just how broken the villi are so another thing to worry about in the meantime. Social life Seems like despite there being some gluten free options in certain restaurants (granted better now than years ago) I'm going to be hugely limited in food options. Either sitting on the side looking on or just plain not able to go out much anymore. Already had the first hitting-home moment watching colleagues eating pastries that were brought in while I just have to look on... then it dawns that this is never going to get better... urghhh Family life I'm really struggling to accept this lifelong illness and loss of health and it's taking a toll on the people around me at the moment. They won't be going gluten-free so will have to take my chances with the mixed kitchen environment; already gone with split toasters etc. so can't do much more than that. Dating Basically seems game over on that front, unlike many who are diagnosed with understanding partners \ spouses I'm still in the dating game, which is judgemental enough as it is without all the complications that the gluten issues bring. I'm reading even kissing someone with lipstick \ make-up is apparently a big no-no... once any date hears that they won't be coming back... forever alone status confirmed is how it looks right now. Overall feelings I still can't quite figure out if this illness was in me all along and just hasn't flared up enough to notice until now or whether the extreme stress I've been under for the past year or so has triggered it. If the second scenario is correct I can't stop thinking about the events that all led up to this almost year-long bout of ill health and life-changing diagnosis. Can celiac be brought on by stress alone or realistically was I always a ticking timebomb just waiting to be set off? For every person I see that's had a positive change after cutting out gluten (and getting by with reasonably achievable adjustments) there seems to be 10 others with horrible side-effects and long-term complications. Right now the future feels rather bleak - like all hope just been taken away. Help???
    • It sounds like you're doing great. That's amazing that your anxiety has decreased like that. You're obviously doing something really good for your health. With the other things I'm sure they will get better in time. After I gave up gluten I had a bad year but overall it got better. Things like anxiety and insomnia massively improved over time with being gluten free. However, going Paleo (which you are on your way to with the no dairy too) really helped my anxiety, as did running and self-taught acupressure. In particular I found processed gluten free foods were awful for my mood. I know you have to find your own way but I really want to encourage you to see how you feel without that if you haven't already. I also can't afford therapy but when I did have it, that helped too but just being well, gives you the chance to sort your own thoughts and feelings out even without a therapist. Good luck
    • Thank you so much guys. Reading that last response and those from forum members who seemed to be mind-bogglingly sensitive to gluten at times helps me feel like less of a freak  Perhaps worse than the symptoms themselves was my fear that I'm the only person on earth who has gone through this and that if it continues, I will end up with all of my friends and family washing their hands of me because it would look to them like I'm the only one with this and so I must be crazy. It's really good to hear that the sensitivity can go down too. I've been holding onto this idea through the tough times, reminding myself that I also had really bad hayfever for a few years, and asthma at a different time and they both got better.  It has been a whole month since I had a bad reaction to gluten. It has also been two weeks since I even had a small reaction and I'm feeling SO much better. I'm still going to take every precaution I can but this feels worlds away from how it was. At my most risk averse, I had a day on holiday where I only ate bananas and avocados because I could eat them without them having been touched by human hands, even my own! (This was straight after getting sicker and sicker and hunting down what it was that made me ill. I found the refill bottles of soap in the house where I was staying and read that they had wheat in them - not an airborne reaction I imagine but when I washed my hands to prepare food it was probably contaminating my food. Plus because I didn't speak the language, I couldn't be sure the new soap I bought was gluten free.) Now, I am still avoiding environments with lots of gluten and staying clear of grains, but I have reintroduced rice using the food challenge method as directed by my dietician (since I understand that rice is, according to Dr Fasano, the lowest risk of gluten contamination of all the grains) and I am building my weight back up. My Paleo+Fasano diet has been assessed by a registered dietician to include every nutrient and micronutrient that I need so I guess having a really good diet is helping too. My husband has been able to see also that the last time he cooked gluten in the house was the last time I got ill. So it is reassuring for him to see that the sacrifice he is making is making such a difference to me. I also took the advice about new cooking utensils - thanks! I have my fingers crossed for me. I want this better health to continue but right now I'm happy to know that there is a break in the clouds and to know that I can feel like me again. A lot of the steps I have taken to avoid gluten would be seen by some as over the top but I can say that for me, when I introduced these steps, that's when I stopped getting reactions and it's all worth it. Good luck to everyone, sensitive or not, who gets into a bad place with managing their reactions. Hang on in there!        
    • Hello all  I have been living gluten free now for 6 months, as directed by my family doctor after a 6 week elimination diet revealed that I may be celiac or gluten sensitive. I was tested by blood work,  which showed nothing, and am awaiting a specialist to get a biopsy done. I am no where close to getting into see her as it is cased as a non emergency. I have been constantly having bowel problems, rashes all over my body, low iron, weight fluctuations, no energy, depression  and anxiety now for 6 years. Have been a huge nuisance(imo) to my doctor requiring constant antibiotics for this,  creams for this "mystery rash" and either laxatives for constipation that would sometimes go on for over a week to diarrhea that would keep my home- no in between . It hasn't been easy, especially whenever doctors are so quick to blame all symptoms as mental illness. Even though I have continuously told them I feel my issues are something simple...  not a mental illness. Anyways long story short, after going gluten free I have had somewhat Nnormal bowel functions, less rashes around my stomach, been able to cut back drastically on my depression medications and anxiety meds, and energy has taken a huge improvement  which all is great! But .... I am constantly HUngry have gained 20 lbs and can no longer fit into most of my clothes. This is really bothering me because I am afraid I am approaching a weight problem.  At only 5'5" weighing 165lbs is large to begin with. Especially whenever I have two children and have only EVER weighed this much while being pregnant with them. I am 26 years old and just tired of not being myself. I am physically healthy and just would like my body to act it. Any help would be greatly appreciated, as I said I am only 6 months into my journey and have definitely re exposed myself to gluten (accidently) many times in between. Much love. 
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      61,643
    • Most Online
      3,093

    Newest Member
    moojoo
    Joined