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Need Help Settling A Gluten Disagreement


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#1 sariesue

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 11:30 AM

I'm going to preface my dilemma by saying that this is my first Christmas both Gluten free and married. So I'm finding it a little stressful and confusing. Oh, and all parties involved are aware that I am gluten free except my husband's grandmother who has significant alzhemiers and is rather estranged from the family.

My husband's family all gets together Christmas Eve for dinner at his Aunt's house. She asked me to bring rolls. Since I feel that holiday things should be home made and not store bought, my plan is to make two different batches of gluten free rolls and bring them. That way there are more than enough rolls, and there will hopefully be one people like. My husband doesn't have a problem with that. The problem is do I tell them that the rolls are all gluten free before dinner? My husband thinks that I should tell them that the rolls are gluten free before the meal. I think that it's not needed. Rolls are rolls and I don't want them to not try them because they are gluten free. I refuse to bring things I can't eat so bringing gluten rolls isn't an option.

I'm just looking for other opinions on the situation.

My first batch of rolls look fluffy light gluten dinner rolls. If that changes anyone's response.
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#2 missy'smom

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 11:42 AM

I wouldn't tell them.

I once sent a pan of homemade coco krispy treats to my son's class. He made the innocent mistake of declaring that they were gluten-free. Not one kid ate one, not even the teacher! He was so sad and I was so mad! It's ridiculous because they were just marshmallows, butter and a gluten-free brand of cereal that many people who are not gluten-free buy. I was so greatful that the kids on the bus and in the neighborhood on they way home were happy to dig in so some were gone by the time he reached home.

I'm sure we all here can share stories of how friends and family liked our rolls not just because they were supporting us but because the actually liked the rolls.

Wrap those rolls up in some foil and warm them in the oven before serving. You may consider not even mentioning it after they eat them unless it comes up.
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#3 Takala

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 11:50 AM

Rolls are.... not rolls.

I can't eat some of the common ingredients in gluten free baking, and neither can other people. What I can eat are common allergens for others. If the tables were turned, and this was fed to somebody with an allergy or intolerance, and you tried passing these gluten-free rolls off to somebody expecting a wheat bun, without dairy, eggs or nuts, for example, you contradict our common call for accuracy in food labeling as to avoid sickness and injury.

You should definitely bring both kinds if you are the sole "roll" provider, and make sure they are labeled, I suggest you bring bakery rolls for the regular ones, and send your new spouse to fetch and handle them.
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#4 rosetapper23

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 11:58 AM

Since you don't mention any food sensitivities that your new in-laws might have, I wouldn't worry about telling them that your rolls are gluten free. However, just in case, I would do as the poster above suggested and have your hubbie bring some "regular" rolls if people notice that yours are "different." If even one person inquires as to why the consistency is different, you'll need to spill the beans...and then people might ignore the rolls for the rest of the evening. If asked, you might even say, "Oh, some are gluten free and others aren't," and then people won't be able to choose only the gluteny ones.
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#5 sariesue

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 12:26 PM

Rolls are.... not rolls.

I can't eat some of the common ingredients in gluten free baking, and neither can other people. What I can eat are common allergens for others. If the tables were turned, and this was fed to somebody with an allergy or intolerance, and you tried passing these gluten-free rolls off to somebody expecting a wheat bun, without dairy, eggs or nuts, for example, you contradict our common call for accuracy in food labeling as to avoid sickness and injury.

You should definitely bring both kinds if you are the sole "roll" provider, and make sure they are labeled, I suggest you bring bakery rolls for the regular ones, and send your new spouse to fetch and handle them.


I think that people who have known allergies or intolerances would ask about the offending ingredients before assuming that it ok to eat. For example the gluten rolls I would have brought would have both dairy and eggs. They have buttermilk and are brushed with egg. The only unusual ingredient in either recipe is a small amount of xanthum gum, which is actually in many main stream products. I don't know a single person who has a food allergy or intolerance who doesn't ask about the ingredient they can't have before eating unlabeled foods. Plus these people are were ok after eating the gluten free birthday cake my mother in law bought from a gluten free bakery.

The common call is for packaged goods. Not homemade items. The rolls I'm bringing are all homemade. Plus, I'm not saying that I'm going to lie and say that the rolls I made are gluten rolls.
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#6 sariesue

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 12:28 PM

Since you don't mention any food sensitivities that your new in-laws might have, I wouldn't worry about telling them that your rolls are gluten free. However, just in case, I would do as the poster above suggested and have your hubbie bring some "regular" rolls if people notice that yours are "different." If even one person inquires as to why the consistency is different, you'll need to spill the beans...and then people might ignore the rolls for the rest of the evening. If asked, you might even say, "Oh, some are gluten free and others aren't," and then people won't be able to choose only the gluteny ones.


If they ask I will tell them the truth, I just don't see the need to announce it.
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#7 IrishHeart

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 12:32 PM

Since they all know you are gluten-free, I find it ironic/humorous that your job was to bring the rolls. :lol:

Certainly, they know you will not be baking gluteny ones, so do they assume you will be bringing only gluten-free ones??

Sometimes people have a preconceived notion of what gluten-free foods may taste like and not want to even try them.

Getting them to be light and fluffy is not easy--so KUDDOS! :)

I wonder what would happen if you just brought them and said nothing and waited until everyone said "These are delicious" and you said "Aren't they? They are gluten-free!" :)

You could always have a stash of gluteny rolls in the car if anyone wants them, just to be nice ;) IMHO

ETA: as a side note, I am providing all gluten-free goodies at my house for Christmas Eve dining and no one has asked me if they should bring any gluteny rolls. :lol:
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#8 mamaw

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 12:56 PM

My two cents from on old-timer!
When I'm invited to anyone's home for dinner & I'm to bring a dish I ask what to bring & if they care if its gluten-free ... Every one knows we are totally gluten-free but I always ask to be polite.....For breads I would buy wheat rolls & take some gluten-free for me & others who may wish to try gluten-free.. This way we are educating people who are not eating gluten-free to have an understanding of our gluten-free food.. They find it is very good tasting & enjoyable.. I get please bring the gluten-free version....all the time..

It is not worth the hassle of arguing about a small thing as this & maybe wreck a friendship..some things just need to tucked away & forgotten.

You say you are newly married as well... pick your battles wisely... this one just isn't worth the energy to battle...
I see no big deal in taking both .....


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#9 kareng

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 01:01 PM

I'm going to preface my dilemma by saying that this is my first Christmas both Gluten free and married. So I'm finding it a little stressful and confusing. Oh, and all parties involved are aware that I am gluten free except my husband's grandmother who has significant alzhemiers and is rather estranged from the family.

My husband's family all gets together Christmas Eve for dinner at his Aunt's house. She asked me to bring rolls. Since I feel that holiday things should be home made and not store bought, my plan is to make two different batches of gluten free rolls and bring them. That way there are more than enough rolls, and there will hopefully be one people like. My husband doesn't have a problem with that. The problem is do I tell them that the rolls are all gluten free before dinner? My husband thinks that I should tell them that the rolls are gluten free before the meal. I think that it's not needed. Rolls are rolls and I don't want them to not try them because they are gluten free. I refuse to bring things I can't eat so bringing gluten rolls isn't an option.

I'm just looking for other opinions on the situation.

My first batch of rolls look fluffy light gluten dinner rolls. If that changes anyone's response.



Just a thought but...aren't people going to be a bit confused when you bring your own dinner and don't eat any of the other gluteny or cc'd foods? Not sure you could hide the fact that the rolls are gluten-free.

You were probably asked to bring rolls because they forgot about the gluten-free, or wanted you to bring ones you could eat or they thought you would just buy them and that would be easy .
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#10 codetalker

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 01:21 PM

I see no reason to mention it.

There used to be a gluten-free bakery in Phila called Mr. Ritt's, which made incredible high end baked goods. They came to a local support meeting one time. During the meeting, they mentioned that they had contracts with some of the local Phila hotels. They supplied breads, rolls, cakes, cookies, etc. which were gluten-free but not labeled as such. Hence, people eating at these hotels were eating gluten-free baked goods without being aware to it.

My response to someone who feels labeling is necessary would be that they should not be selective and label only the gluten-free meal items. Rather, they should advocate labeling of all items with any of the common allergens, such as soy, milk, eggs, nuts, etc. In fact, they should probably play it safe and exclude all nut items, esp those containing peanuts. Alternatively, they could allow serving of nut items only in an out-building such as a garden shed or such. :)
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#11 Mrslmc

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 01:28 PM

Just a thought but...aren't people going to be a bit confused when you bring your own dinner and don't eat any of the other gluteny or cc'd foods? Not sure you could hide the fact that the rolls are gluten-free.

You were probably asked to bring rolls because they forgot about the gluten-free, or wanted you to bring ones you could eat or they thought you would just buy them and that would be easy .



I don't think people will have a problem if they are gluten free. Just say 'I baked these myself and they're gluten free if anyone wants to try them, bring another option if you think people won't try them.

I had a dinner for my family and inlaws at the weekend. I used all gluten free recipies, made gluten free tomato and basil bread and wheat free sticky toffee pudding. Everyone thought everything was delishes, they probably tried them just to be polite, but ended up really enjoying them.

So go ahead present your own and watch the surprised looks at how tasty they are ;)
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#12 bumblebee_carnival

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 02:51 PM

If they ask I will tell them the truth, I just don't see the need to announce it.


I second this. It's kind of weird that they asked you to bring rolls since they know you are gluten free. Maybe next year or for other holidays, I'd ask if you can bring a vegetable or side dish.
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#13 Katrala

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 02:56 PM

I can't eat some of the common ingredients in gluten free baking, and neither can other people. What I can eat are common allergens for others. If the tables were turned, and this was fed to somebody with an allergy or intolerance, and you tried passing these gluten-free rolls off to somebody expecting a wheat bun, without dairy, eggs or nuts, for example, you contradict our common call for accuracy in food labeling as to avoid sickness and injury.

You should definitely bring both kinds if you are the sole "roll" provider, and make sure they are labeled, I suggest you bring bakery rolls for the regular ones, and send your new spouse to fetch and handle them.


I can't think of allergens in gluten-free rolls that aren't present in most gluten rolls.

Plus, people with allergies typically ask. Especially for homemade goods.

I don't see the need to point out they are gluten-free. They asked for rolls, you're bringing rolls. If they don't like them, they likely won't ask you to bring rolls next year. :)

If someone asks, tell them.
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#14 ciamarie

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 06:03 PM

I can't think of allergens in gluten-free rolls that aren't present in most gluten rolls.

Plus, people with allergies typically ask. Especially for homemade goods.

I don't see the need to point out they are gluten-free. They asked for rolls, you're bringing rolls. If they don't like them, they likely won't ask you to bring rolls next year. :)

If someone asks, tell them.

+1
And if they are as good as they sound, I hope you'll share the recipe in the recipes topic! Or this one... :D
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#15 Lisa

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Posted 23 December 2011 - 06:07 PM

I don't see the need to point out they are gluten-free. They asked for rolls, you're bringing rolls. If they don't like them, they likely won't ask you to bring rolls next year. :)

If someone asks, tell them.


I like this answer too. Life is way too complicated, especially in our lives. Keep it simple for yourself and enjoy your holiday. :D
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