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Haning Out With Friends.
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8 posts in this topic

i was recently diagnosed with celiacs and it is very hard to hang out with friends or even my boyfriend at food places cause they dont know what i can or cant eat and then seeing them eat the things i cant in a way makes me mad. anyone else have this problem?

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I think if you explain to your friends exactly what your diet means, they should be a lot more accepting. If you're hanging out a restaurants, find out if they have a gluten free menu (most do) or at least other options for you. If you're at someone's house, you could always ask your friend or their parent if they have anything like gluten-free chips. There's always the option of bringing your own food.

In the end, if they're not understanding, maybe they're not worthwhile friends.

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In my experience most restaurants do not have a gluten free menu and most of the ones who say they do, really don't (they use the same fryers, ovens, work spaces, etc.).

I really only trust Chipotle (everything except their tortillas are gluten free)and P.F. Chang's (they have a separate kitchen and large gluten free menu).

When I hang out with friends I just eat beforehand and get a drink at the restaurant. It sucks, but it gets easier with time.

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I absolutely have this problem! Although it doesn't exactly make me mad, it makes me feel sad. Why can't my body just process normal food like normal people? Why does EVERYTHING have gluten in it? And how come NO ONE knows what Celiac is???

The best thing to do is just focus on what you can eat. I'm sure almost every restaurant will have a salad or a steak or an option that's natually gluten-free.

You may want to explain your condition to your friends... in my experience, they usually give me a lot of sympathy and they like to ask me a lot of questions about it. I actually appreciate their interest, rather than them just blowing it off like it's no big deal.

Good luck to you and know that you are not alone!

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I understand and I know what you are feeling. I have found I eat out alot less now. At first I was hesitant to say anything to any of my friends but once I did, they started asking me questions and I found they were amazingly supportive. I have certain restuarants that I know I can go and eat something. New places I am always cautious. Going to otehr people's houses I always wonder if there will be anything I can eat. I ahve gotten used to eating less when I am out and in some cases where we had nothing but fast food all around us, I was the only one not eating, but I knew I would just get soemthing later. It stinks sometimes purely from a convenience stand point but really I have never felt better in my life and I know that as soon as I get a crumb I would be sick all over again and that keeps me very aware of why I am gluten-free!

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The emotional aspect of seeing other people have things you can't have does get easier over time. The more you view it as poison, the less you'll want it, then you'll end up with the problem I have... thinking everyone would be better off without it!

As for eating out, I have a really hard time trusting most restaurants, and I live in Portland, OR, where "gluten-free" restaurants are a dime a dozen! Many of them now just say "gluten-free friendly" or have warnings and describe their practices, because they've learned that cross-contamination is a hard thing to deal with. There are a couple restaurants that are completely gluten-free. You might look into that in your area and see if you can find a new favorite spot.

Another way to get safer food at a place is to go to the same restaurant a lot and talk to the regular staff about how to keep you safe. You can work with them to come up with a safe dish or two that you can order time and again. They'll be happy to have a regular customer who tips well and brings friends!

My preference is to find other things to do with friends. When I do go to a restaurant I usually eat first and just order a drink. I always take my own food to friend's houses or if I'm going to be out and about for long.

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I know! I just recently turned 19 and its really hard to go out to bars or find somewhere to eat! I find the bar to be pretty hard cause people usually get food while they drink as well right, and bars neeevvvveeeerrrrrr have anything gluten free! And my boyfriend always gets food when we go out drinking and it sucks cause I just have to sit there and watch him eat :(

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    • I figured I would update those who were wondering.  I have gotten the appt. so far moved up to August 30. I am waiting to have gene testing done via swab for all 3 of my kiddos tomorrow. My daughters celiac antibodies came up negative but her IgA is low which the ped said could cause false negative antibodies for celiac so she will need to see a GI dr. also. The pediatrician is going to call the GI to try to get them in sooner. I am keeping them all on a gluten diet until the GI dr. decides what to do. I am on the cancellation list already for my son, however I am not going to be persistent with my phone calls to them until I have the results of the gene test. I really want that result in my hand before going to the GI dr if I can. Maybe if he is positive, along with his bloodwork and my history they can forgo the endoscopy. But he will eat gluten till then.  My husband and I have been very honest and upfront with him as to what is going on and the possibility of the endoscopy and what that entails and although scared in general he seems ok after assuring him that since I have it he has me to help him every step of the way.  Going through his current diet with him I realized that he is truly on such a low gluten diet that I am actually surprised his bloodwork shows antibodies at all!  So I told him to make a list of allllll the gluten he could possibly think of eating and he needs to pound it until the GI visit or endoscopy. Funny thing is everything he keeps thinking of to want to eat...is already gluten free!  The other night we were at a friends and he asked if he could be done with his hotdog. I made him finish just the bread 😂 Thanks for your help and advise and I will keep y'all posted on both kids!  My oldest is a ok as far as all his antibodies. Just actually had a follow up for other immune issues and all his levels are now normal!
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    • Well, you can probably get an apple or something.  You might be able to get someone to boil you some eggs.  But be careful of things like nuts that should be naturally gluten free.  They have almost always been soaked in a flavor solution that usually containes caramel coloring, "soy" (wheat) sauce and other aditives.  If I am really hungry and must eat in a Chinese restaurant, I order plain white rice and steamed vegetables.  But even so, you must monitor it carefully.  The rice sometimes has other substances added to give it a better texture, and very often the vegetables have in fact had "just a little bit" of soy sauce added.  To be fair, celiac disease is hardly ever found in East Asians, so understandably people are not tuned it to it.  Also, culturally, with the exception of fruits, it is generally thought that the flavor of foods needs to be enhanced, so it is had to find anything natural even in the "western" gorceries. Even in the western restaurants, be careful.  Fish and meat and often vegetables are usually pre-marinated. I will not even attempt to address the issue of cross-comtamination, since that is a whole higher order of things. I do know what I am talking about; I have celiac and have worked here for nearly 7 years.  
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