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No One Will Come Over To Eat At My House


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32 replies to this topic

#1 GFreeMO

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 07:54 AM

It's my Mom's Birthday this weekend so she and my Dad have been invited to my sisters house for a gluten fiesta. My sister always wins out because her and her husband have cute little kids. My husband and I don't have kids. Thanks celiac!
I invited my Mom and Dad to come over tonight for dinner since they are going over there on her Birthday. I gave my Mom 3 meals to pick from. These are normal everyday meals that most people would eat. She wont eat anything with olive oil, garlic or onions and I can't have any gluten, corn or dairy or soy so it is making it very difficult to come up with a meal. I suggested that I make roast beef with veggies and a crustless pumpkin pie. She wont eat it if it's cooked in olive oil and i make my pie with rice milk and she goes ewwww..yuck. It just really makes me so mad because it's not like I WANT to eat this way, I HAVE to eat this way. So now they are not coming and i'm getting depressed over it thinking of them all having fun at my sisters house and no one will come here.
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#2 pricklypear1971

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 08:02 AM

You know, there's almost always something else going on when things like this come up, but I digress...

Since your family can't agree on food, why not do something else that doesn't involve food? Doesn't have to be a big thing, doesn't have to involve your sister - just you and your mom.
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#3 Jestgar

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 08:08 AM

:( Sorry. Sounds like your mom is just being a brat.
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#4 GFreeMO

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 08:21 AM

It is really all about the food. It always has been and always will be. That and we live way out in the country and it takes 45 min. to get here. My Mom and sister are Martha Stewart/Paula Dean and I just can't eat that way.
My Mom and I use to go shopping ALL the time and we would always go out to lunch. In the 2 years I have had celiac, we haven't been once because of the lunch.
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#5 pricklypear1971

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 08:24 AM

It is really all about the food. It always has been and always will be. That and we live way out in the country and it takes 45 min. to get here. My Mom and sister are Martha Stewart/Paula Dean and I just can't eat that way.


I love your choices of comparisons, especially given the recent press.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. ~ Mark Twain

Probable Endometriosis, in remission from childbirth since 2002.
Hashimoto's DX 2005.
Gluten-Free since 6/2011.
DH (and therefore Celiac) dx from ND
.
Responsive to iodine withdrawal for DH (see quote, above).

Genetic tests reveal half DQ2, half DQ8 - I'm a weird bird!

#6 kareng

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 08:31 AM

I agree with Jess.

I would love it if my sister would have everyone to her house for a holiday! I would happiliy bring my own food and a dish to share. Right now, everyone comes to my house & I have to make everything & make sure the house is sorta of clean. Lucky for me my teenage boys & hub can cook.
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#7 Metoo

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 08:48 AM

I agree with Jess.

I would love it if my sister would have everyone to her house for a holiday! I would happiliy bring my own food and a dish to share. Right now, everyone comes to my house & I have to make everything & make sure the house is sorta of clean. Lucky for me my teenage boys & hub can cook.


Next time I would avoid having so much of a discussion about it. Invite everyone over, tell them you will be making a wonderful dinner. If they ask, say I am making a roast, pie, potatoes (or whatever). Let that be it. If she says "EW! No oil or onions...blah blah" Then just say I will make sure and to accomidate you, I know how difficult it is to eat while avoiding many typical ingredients.

Kill them with kindness and vagueness. If they don't want to eat whatever you have made, that is fine, but they will still be there.
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#8 kwylee

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 09:01 AM

OK, got it...the food is important - and it seems that you are really most upset that they won't come to you and you feel left out. But there must be things you can make that don't include olive oil or rice milk.

You seem to indicate that you and your Mom were very close at one point, with all the lunches. It also seems that you are really (understandably) sad about not having children and now it's Celiac again messing with your life and relationships, making you feel shut out. It makes sense that your Mom might even unconsciously gravitate toward where the grand kids are - not saying it's right (or even true) but just acknowledging the possibility, and you may be feeling that too. And that's got to hurt. But your Mom, or even your sister, may not realize how much this is hurting you on so many levels. Is is possible for a heart to heart with your Mom? She may not realize how much her little "ew" comments drive a wedge in your relationship.
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#9 GFreeMO

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 09:09 AM

Thanks for all of the good advice. There are things that I can make without olive oil and rice milk. My Mom was asking about what we were going to do about a cake. I offered to make a crustless pumpkin pie and she was asking me how I do that and I mentioned the rice milk. The olive oil I have to use to coat the bottom of the pan so the roast beef wont stick. It's about 2 TBSP. She said she cant stand that taste. Believe me, I try!

Thanks everyone.
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#10 MJ_S

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 09:25 AM

How about using a lighter cooking oil, like sunflower oil? The taste shoudn't be as strong as olive oil.
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#11 ciamarie

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 10:52 AM

How about using a lighter cooking oil, like sunflower oil? The taste shoudn't be as strong as olive oil.

Or extra light olive oil? That's what I use almost exclusively. It's very neutral. Or Canola? Though I do sympathise on feeling left out, it pretty much stinks.
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#12 Laurentru

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 11:18 AM

Sending good thoughts your way! It really does suck to be left out, especially when you are willing to go out of your way to meet everyone's needs.
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#13 love2travel

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 12:55 PM

I am frustrated with you. :angry: Take a look at this wonderful layer cake. It is easy to make and tastes divine. Very moist AND meets all your requirements. It calls for either olive or veg oil (you'd think in a cake she wouldn't notice!), no dairy, no corn, no soy... I have made it many times for guests who would not have known it was gluten free but for my celiac. Believe me - I am an avid baker and this one is a winner. The buttercream is awesome (does not even use butter!). Just look at the picture - who could resist THAT?

http://glutenfreegod...-cake.html#more

Would you like some dairy, soy, corn, gluten free-meal ideas? I literally spend most of my time in the kitchen. :)
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<p>Confirmed celiac disease February 2011 from biopsies. Strictly gluten free March 18 2011.Diagnosed with fibromyalgia April 13 2011.3 herniated discs, myofascial pain syndrome, IT band syndrome, 2 rotator cuff injuries - from an accident Dec. 07 - resulting in chronic pain ever since. Degenerative disc disease.Osteoarthritis in back and hips.Chronic insomnia mostly due to chronic pain.Aspartame free May 2011.

When our lives are squeezed by pressure and pain, what comes out is what is inside.

#14 GFreeMO

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 03:03 PM

I am frustrated with you. :angry: Take a look at this wonderful layer cake. It is easy to make and tastes divine. Very moist AND meets all your requirements. It calls for either olive or veg oil (you'd think in a cake she wouldn't notice!), no dairy, no corn, no soy... I have made it many times for guests who would not have known it was gluten free but for my celiac. Believe me - I am an avid baker and this one is a winner. The buttercream is awesome (does not even use butter!). Just look at the picture - who could resist THAT?

http://glutenfreegod...-cake.html#more

Would you like some dairy, soy, corn, gluten free-meal ideas? I literally spend most of my time in the kitchen. :)

That cake looks delish! I can't use xanthan gum though. It's corn based. Yes, I would love some ideas! Thanks
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#15 love2travel

 
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Posted 20 January 2012 - 03:09 PM

That cake looks delish! I can't use xanthan gum though. It's corn based. Yes, I would love some ideas! Thanks

Sorry for my ignorance. Does guar gum contain corn?
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<p>Confirmed celiac disease February 2011 from biopsies. Strictly gluten free March 18 2011.Diagnosed with fibromyalgia April 13 2011.3 herniated discs, myofascial pain syndrome, IT band syndrome, 2 rotator cuff injuries - from an accident Dec. 07 - resulting in chronic pain ever since. Degenerative disc disease.Osteoarthritis in back and hips.Chronic insomnia mostly due to chronic pain.Aspartame free May 2011.

When our lives are squeezed by pressure and pain, what comes out is what is inside.




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