Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

No One Will Come Over To Eat At My House
0

33 posts in this topic

It's my Mom's Birthday this weekend so she and my Dad have been invited to my sisters house for a gluten fiesta. My sister always wins out because her and her husband have cute little kids. My husband and I don't have kids. Thanks celiac!

I invited my Mom and Dad to come over tonight for dinner since they are going over there on her Birthday. I gave my Mom 3 meals to pick from. These are normal everyday meals that most people would eat. She wont eat anything with olive oil, garlic or onions and I can't have any gluten, corn or dairy or soy so it is making it very difficult to come up with a meal. I suggested that I make roast beef with veggies and a crustless pumpkin pie. She wont eat it if it's cooked in olive oil and i make my pie with rice milk and she goes ewwww..yuck. It just really makes me so mad because it's not like I WANT to eat this way, I HAVE to eat this way. So now they are not coming and i'm getting depressed over it thinking of them all having fun at my sisters house and no one will come here.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:

You know, there's almost always something else going on when things like this come up, but I digress...

Since your family can't agree on food, why not do something else that doesn't involve food? Doesn't have to be a big thing, doesn't have to involve your sister - just you and your mom.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
:( Sorry. Sounds like your mom is just being a brat.
1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is really all about the food. It always has been and always will be. That and we live way out in the country and it takes 45 min. to get here. My Mom and sister are Martha Stewart/Paula Dean and I just can't eat that way.

My Mom and I use to go shopping ALL the time and we would always go out to lunch. In the 2 years I have had celiac, we haven't been once because of the lunch.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is really all about the food. It always has been and always will be. That and we live way out in the country and it takes 45 min. to get here. My Mom and sister are Martha Stewart/Paula Dean and I just can't eat that way.

I love your choices of comparisons, especially given the recent press.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites




I agree with Jess.

I would love it if my sister would have everyone to her house for a holiday! I would happiliy bring my own food and a dish to share. Right now, everyone comes to my house & I have to make everything & make sure the house is sorta of clean. Lucky for me my teenage boys & hub can cook.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Jess.

I would love it if my sister would have everyone to her house for a holiday! I would happiliy bring my own food and a dish to share. Right now, everyone comes to my house & I have to make everything & make sure the house is sorta of clean. Lucky for me my teenage boys & hub can cook.

Next time I would avoid having so much of a discussion about it. Invite everyone over, tell them you will be making a wonderful dinner. If they ask, say I am making a roast, pie, potatoes (or whatever). Let that be it. If she says "EW! No oil or onions...blah blah" Then just say I will make sure and to accomidate you, I know how difficult it is to eat while avoiding many typical ingredients.

Kill them with kindness and vagueness. If they don't want to eat whatever you have made, that is fine, but they will still be there.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK, got it...the food is important - and it seems that you are really most upset that they won't come to you and you feel left out. But there must be things you can make that don't include olive oil or rice milk.

You seem to indicate that you and your Mom were very close at one point, with all the lunches. It also seems that you are really (understandably) sad about not having children and now it's Celiac again messing with your life and relationships, making you feel shut out. It makes sense that your Mom might even unconsciously gravitate toward where the grand kids are - not saying it's right (or even true) but just acknowledging the possibility, and you may be feeling that too. And that's got to hurt. But your Mom, or even your sister, may not realize how much this is hurting you on so many levels. Is is possible for a heart to heart with your Mom? She may not realize how much her little "ew" comments drive a wedge in your relationship.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for all of the good advice. There are things that I can make without olive oil and rice milk. My Mom was asking about what we were going to do about a cake. I offered to make a crustless pumpkin pie and she was asking me how I do that and I mentioned the rice milk. The olive oil I have to use to coat the bottom of the pan so the roast beef wont stick. It's about 2 TBSP. She said she cant stand that taste. Believe me, I try!

Thanks everyone.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How about using a lighter cooking oil, like sunflower oil? The taste shoudn't be as strong as olive oil.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How about using a lighter cooking oil, like sunflower oil? The taste shoudn't be as strong as olive oil.

Or extra light olive oil? That's what I use almost exclusively. It's very neutral. Or Canola? Though I do sympathise on feeling left out, it pretty much stinks.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sending good thoughts your way! It really does suck to be left out, especially when you are willing to go out of your way to meet everyone's needs.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am frustrated with you. :angry: Take a look at this wonderful layer cake. It is easy to make and tastes divine. Very moist AND meets all your requirements. It calls for either olive or veg oil (you'd think in a cake she wouldn't notice!), no dairy, no corn, no soy... I have made it many times for guests who would not have known it was gluten free but for my celiac. Believe me - I am an avid baker and this one is a winner. The buttercream is awesome (does not even use butter!). Just look at the picture - who could resist THAT?

http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/2011/03/gluten-free-coconut-layer-cake.html#more

Would you like some dairy, soy, corn, gluten free-meal ideas? I literally spend most of my time in the kitchen. :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am frustrated with you. :angry: Take a look at this wonderful layer cake. It is easy to make and tastes divine. Very moist AND meets all your requirements. It calls for either olive or veg oil (you'd think in a cake she wouldn't notice!), no dairy, no corn, no soy... I have made it many times for guests who would not have known it was gluten free but for my celiac. Believe me - I am an avid baker and this one is a winner. The buttercream is awesome (does not even use butter!). Just look at the picture - who could resist THAT?

http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/2011/03/gluten-free-coconut-layer-cake.html#more

Would you like some dairy, soy, corn, gluten free-meal ideas? I literally spend most of my time in the kitchen. :)

That cake looks delish! I can't use xanthan gum though. It's corn based. Yes, I would love some ideas! Thanks

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That cake looks delish! I can't use xanthan gum though. It's corn based. Yes, I would love some ideas! Thanks

Sorry for my ignorance. Does guar gum contain corn?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No worries! Who would have known. I learned the hard way. Not sure on guar gum. I need to google that one. :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How about a nice, homey meatloaf? It can be done gluten, corn, dairy, soy, onion, olive oil and garlic free! Whew! What a mouthful.

BTW - I know what you mean about the children thing. We don't have children, either, (dumb celiac) so it sometimes seems that we get visited less. Not by my family but friends of family. They always want to see the babies. I don't blame them but come see us! We'll feed you good food! :P

Back to food. Meatloaf is best with onions and garlic but just leave them out. I like to use a ration of 75% beef to 25% pork for best texture and flavour.

Are red peppers allowed? You can finely dice them or even sundried tomatoes, sautee in some oil other than olive - just an oil such as grapeseed or vegetable. Meanwhile, soak some gluten-free bread cubes in some beef or vegetable broth until sopping. (It is normal to soak in milk but just pick something else.) Wait a minute - why not soak dried mushrooms and use the mushroom juice as flavouring? I do that with other things. Then you can even mince them and sautee with the red pepper (to make up for not having onion and garlic). Make sure the sauteed stuff cools before adding it to the meat. So, add that and the soaked bread to the meat and season liberally with S and P. I also grate in some fresh nutmeg. It doesn't taste like nutmeg in the meatloaf but just gives it a wonderful flavour. I wouldn't use powdered. Fresh nutmegs are extremely inexpensive. You will likely need to bind with an egg or two. You don't want it to be loose but fairly tight. Try not to over-mix with your hands if you can help it.

Form into a log onto a sheet pan. This is the way most chefs do it. One reason is you can glaze all sides except the bottom; the meat cooks evenly and you can drain off the fat (i.e. it doesn't cook in its fat as it would in a muffin tin or loaf pan).

Glaze? Is there a safe ketchup you can have? If so, mix some ketchup, ground mustard and brown sugar into a bowl and glaze the meat with it. I make enough to do it a few times so it caramelizes and gets all yummy. I add Worcestershire but I am not sure if you can have that. Can you? If so, definitely add some. Can't do this glaze? Don't worry - you can do others such as simply liquefying some of your favourite jams, marmalades or preserves with a touch of wine or even apple juice or citrus. Just spread on. If you can have ketchup you can add some of that to it, too, along with some mustard. If you can't do these let me know - I have several other ideas.

As many mashed potato recipes are out, serve with oven-roasted sweet potato fries or smashed potatoes. All you do is parboil fingerlings or small potatoes; roast in oven with an oil other than olive with yummy herbs such as rosemary and/or thyme and eat as is. OR you can take them out and smash them almost flat and put them back in to become crispy. Throw on some chives.

I have many more ideas but don't want to take up sooooo much space. Do you like pork? Lamb? Chicken? What is your favourite protein? I can come up with some awesome meal plans.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No worries! Who would have known. I learned the hard way. Not sure on guar gum. I need to google that one. :)

You know, I bet you could make it without. Do you happen to have psyllium fibre husks? I find them at the health food store and in one of our grocery stores. I add that and a bit of gelatin - that can sometimes be a good replacement. In fact, you technically do not need a gum for cakes and cookies (but you do in yeast breads, etc.).

You could even make this recipe into cupcakes and frost them and even freeze some for later.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is really all about the food. It always has been and always will be. That and we live way out in the country and it takes 45 min. to get here. My Mom and sister are Martha Stewart/Paula Dean and I just can't eat that way.

My Mom and I use to go shopping ALL the time and we would always go out to lunch. In the 2 years I have had celiac, we haven't been once because of the lunch.

I suggest you ask Martha and Paula to come over to your house for a cooking day. Make it a family project. Explain how difficult learnign to cook this way is, and you could really use their expertise. Flattery will get you everywhere!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gluten-Free! I forgot! I'm about 2 hours (?) away from you! I'll eat that dinner, olive oil & rice milk, and all!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for all of the good advice. There are things that I can make without olive oil and rice milk. My Mom was asking about what we were going to do about a cake. I offered to make a crustless pumpkin pie and she was asking me how I do that and I mentioned the rice milk. The olive oil I have to use to coat the bottom of the pan so the roast beef wont stick. It's about 2 TBSP. She said she cant stand that taste. Believe me, I try!

Thanks everyone.

how about cooking the roast on a roasting rack (involves no oils or sprays ) make them some betty crocker gluten free cupcakes or cake and make something that you can eat for dessert as well or ice cream. when i cook for my extended family for holidays or get togethers i always make sure my meal is gluten free / never give up ingredients or how i cooked it (unless someone has serious allergy) but i make sure there are things we can all eat. I am sorry your Mom is so defiant about coming over ( olive oil ) but I am wondering if you sister cooks with olive oil and doesn't mention it to mom.. ????? good luck

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know, I bet you could make it without. Do you happen to have psyllium fibre husks? I find them at the health food store and in one of our grocery stores. I add that and a bit of gelatin - that can sometimes be a good replacement. In fact, you technically do not need a gum for cakes and cookies (but you do in yeast breads, etc.).

You could even make this recipe into cupcakes and frost them and even freeze some for later.

Thanks for all of your help! Meatloaf is a wonderful suggestion! That cake looks delish too! I wouldn't know where to find any of those things around here though. I live in a tony town and the nearest big grocery store is 25 min away and they don't have a gluten free section at all.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gluten-Free! I forgot! I'm about 2 hours (?) away from you! I'll eat that dinner, olive oil & rice milk, and all!

LOL thanks Karen. B)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone! We've decided to go to my sisters house and I am going to bring my own food. She said that she didn't invite us at first because she feels bad eating in front of me. Thats awful.

Anyway..thanks!!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone! We've decided to go to my sisters house and I am going to bring my own food. She said that she didn't invite us at first because she feels bad eating in front of me. Thats awful.

Anyway..thanks!!

Bring the most amazingly tasty looking food you can come up with - including some luscious desert. Then sigh while you're chowing down and say "yep..... gluten-free food......"

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      104,678
    • Total Posts
      921,703
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • At the moment it's microwave rice packets as it needs to be something easy for lunch at work. What do you choose for breakfast? At the moment I have gluten-free porridge oats with fruits but also seeing oats are a bit of a gamble in the early days. Trying to figure out how long a reaction takes to show up i.e. if I feel ropey later in the day is it really lunch as I'm blaming at present or actually is it something from the morning or even night before? The food is the toughest bit for me right now; wasn't that great with it before so will need plenty ideas from you good people... seems I'm in the right place though   
    • I know what you're going through - it's that grieving process and it's tough.  I was diagnosed in 2013, and aside from an occasional pity party, I don't look back. I have my restaurants where I feel safe, I have the food I know I can eat, and I get on with my life.  I'm lucky that I live in a big city with lots of options, but you can make this work, and you will feel better and once you do, you'll stop grieving.  The people on this site helped enormously. It is tough in the beginning to know if you've been 'glutened' vs. just going through withdrawal.  For that reason alone, it's best to avoid restaurants for a little while and be careful at home - just to be sure what's happening.  Eventually you'll be able to get back to your version of 'normal'.  Oh, I also have hypothyroid/hashimoto's.  No big deal, I take synthroid. Quinoa, eggs, nuts and beans for protein.  You don't have to go crazy on the cooking.  Just eat a lot of whole foods.  There are a lot of complicated recipes out there, but now may not be the time.  Rice noodles in veggie bouillon - easy and cheap.  gluten-free pasta with olive oil, parmesan and garlic - easy.  I eat a lot of rice and have never had a problem - you're not getting it out of one of those bulk bins, are you?  That could be contaminated.  Go with packaged.  Do you have access to the Macro Vegetarian brand of prepared rice dishes (in the refrigerated section).  They have several that are gluten free, they're delicious heated and with a little gluten-free soy sauce.  They're my go to on days I don't want to cook. Good luck!  
    • I also think that the HPV/Gardasil vaccine triggered something in my body. I had some Celiac symptoms many years before this vaccine but I felt ok. I was physically very active. However, after I received the third dose as well, I began having more problems including a more persistant pain, overall body weakness, lack of concentration, hair loss, etc.
    • OK so been to the doctor, they've sped up my referral and I should get the appointment booking form in the post shortly. They've said stay off the gluten until I have a date for the appointment then in the weeks leading up to it go back on - thoughts? Did my bit of sport last night which was a great relief to be free of any illness-related thoughts for an hour or two; didn't think I'd have the energy at the start but soon got going and was OK so that's a plus I seem to be getting some strange symptoms at the moment that have only happened since trying to remove gluten, do these sound familiar to anyone? dry forehead, just starting to go red \ itchy in places. Treating with E45-type cream tender scalp and sides of head, almost like a pulling feeling and a bit sensitive to touch. Scared this one matches the symptoms of GCA, a particularly nasty autoimmune disease that can lead to blindness 
      Edit: having said that just found this thread and funny enough did wash my hair this morning...
      http://www.celiac.com/gluten-free/topic/50920-sores-on-scalp/ one eye watering and associated fuzzy vision at times, trying to reassure myself it isn't blurred vision due to the point above sometimes bit of a lump in throat sensation, seems to come and go Been reading that some people can't handle rice - I was OK with it whilst eating gluten but have been having it for lunch each day and seem to get worse around 4-5pm so could that be a culprit? How long after coming off gluten would I be able to say I'm at a baseline to know if feeling ill is down to "glutening" vs. blaming it on the body adjusting to the change in (lack of) gluten in food?
    • First of all, welcome to the forum! it's good to have you here. Secondly, I can really relate to the fatigue portion.  it really hadn't affected me until everything hit the ceiling medically for me.  I was constantly tired all the time, and waking feeling rested in the morning. Prone to depression and anxiety, definitely.  It drove me nuts for those first few weeks.  That's when I decided to try going off the gluten to see what happened.  I still dealt with the depression, anxiety at crazy levels, and inability to focus/concentrate, but it had gotten progressively better.  The anxiety got so bad I would have panic attacks in public areas which only ramped up the anxiety because people saw what was happening.  I would encourage you and your doctor to do a full Celiac panel before you decide to try the gluten free diet.  I had my blood work done after I was off gluten for about two months or so.  Thankfully, my levels were still high to register at least a gluten sensitivity.  Since going off gluten for almost a year now, things have started to finally appear "normal".  Whatever normal means for me now.  As I am healing from the 30 years of glutenizing, I combined both natural methods with the medical methods.  If you are interested in the different avenues of natural methods, I would be willing to share with you.  I will be praying for you as you go through this journey. Let me assure you, you are not alone in this journey.  Depending on family dynamics, they can be a great source of support.  This forum is also a great place to bounce thoughts or concerns off of.  Good luck.
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      61,675
    • Most Online
      3,093

    Newest Member
    JVerg11
    Joined