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The Dumbest, Ugliest, And Hardest Focaccia...


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11 replies to this topic

#1 love2travel

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 04:08 PM

So, I am a seasoned cook and baker. Very seasoned. The monstrosity that came out of my oven today is my first gluten-free failure (and I've been baking a LOT of gluten-free breads, etc.) and what a failure it is. Too bad I did not take a photo before I threw it out. I cannot believe I just threw out baking. Let me describe it:

It is as white as a kleenex, as hard as marble, and R A W in the centre (after I practically had to use a hacksaw to cut it). It probably weighs more than most children and is as dense as some celebrities. It stands about 1/2" tall. It has absolutely zero redeeming qualities. How could it when one cannot even bite into it unless you want to see your dentist?

Anyway, let this be a reminder to all of you - please include the yeast in the recipe rather than let it sit out on the counter! :P
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<p>Confirmed celiac disease February 2011 from biopsies. Strictly gluten free March 18 2011.Diagnosed with fibromyalgia April 13 2011.3 herniated discs, myofascial pain syndrome, IT band syndrome, 2 rotator cuff injuries - from an accident Dec. 07 - resulting in chronic pain ever since. Degenerative disc disease.Osteoarthritis in back and hips.Chronic insomnia mostly due to chronic pain.Aspartame free May 2011.

When our lives are squeezed by pressure and pain, what comes out is what is inside.

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#2 ravenwoodglass

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 04:19 PM

That's always so disappointing. Sounds like it would have made a good hockey puck for the breadsticks I made last week. You could have driven nails with them.
When I cooked for a living I learned to put all ingredients in a line on the counter to my left. As I used them I lined them up on the right. That kept me from either forgetting something or adding an ingredient twice.
I hope your next attempt goes better.
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Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

#3 love2travel

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 04:26 PM

That's always so disappointing. Sounds like it would have made a good hockey puck for the breadsticks I made last week. You could have driven nails with them.
When I cooked for a living I learned to put all ingredients in a line on the counter to my left. As I used them I lined them up on the right. That kept me from either forgetting something or adding an ingredient twice.
I hope your next attempt goes better.

I'm usually super organized and could make focaccia blindfolded. I just left that one little container sitting there - somehow it was hiding on me. My next attempt is tomorrow but this time WITH the yeast! :) As I am a recipe tester I also line up ingredients like you. I just neglected one of the most important components! :lol:
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<p>Confirmed celiac disease February 2011 from biopsies. Strictly gluten free March 18 2011.Diagnosed with fibromyalgia April 13 2011.3 herniated discs, myofascial pain syndrome, IT band syndrome, 2 rotator cuff injuries - from an accident Dec. 07 - resulting in chronic pain ever since. Degenerative disc disease.Osteoarthritis in back and hips.Chronic insomnia mostly due to chronic pain.Aspartame free May 2011.

When our lives are squeezed by pressure and pain, what comes out is what is inside.

#4 squirmingitch

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 06:26 PM

Well thanks for the laughs! Posted Image
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Self diagnosed dh Sept. 2011~~~ confirmed dx July 18, 2012
Gluten free Dec. 2011
Soy free Dec. 2011
Hubs self diagnosed dh March 30, 2012
Hubs gluten free March 30, 2012

Summer 2013 We both have added back a little soy which is near unavoidable & we are doing okay with that small amount.

 


#5 Skylark

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 08:09 PM

Sorry your bread didn't work out but thanks for the giggle. :lol: It reminds me of my gluten-free Irish soda bread shaped doorstop.
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#6 mushroom

 
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 08:29 PM

I have been meaning to do what the cooks do on the cooking shows, like premeasure the ingredients and line them up. . You have just given me an extra incentive (besides having left things out myself a few times ;) )
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#7 Bubba's Mom

 
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Posted 29 February 2012 - 08:49 AM

It's comforting to know that even seasoned bakers can have the occasional flop. I'm sure your next attempt will be much better.
You could use it in your garden for a stepping stone? :D
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#8 love2travel

 
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Posted 29 February 2012 - 10:00 AM

Sorry your bread didn't work out but thanks for the giggle. :lol: It reminds me of my gluten-free Irish soda bread shaped doorstop.

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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<p>Confirmed celiac disease February 2011 from biopsies. Strictly gluten free March 18 2011.Diagnosed with fibromyalgia April 13 2011.3 herniated discs, myofascial pain syndrome, IT band syndrome, 2 rotator cuff injuries - from an accident Dec. 07 - resulting in chronic pain ever since. Degenerative disc disease.Osteoarthritis in back and hips.Chronic insomnia mostly due to chronic pain.Aspartame free May 2011.

When our lives are squeezed by pressure and pain, what comes out is what is inside.

#9 love2travel

 
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Posted 29 February 2012 - 10:03 AM

It's comforting to know that even seasoned bakers can have the occasional flop. I'm sure your next attempt will be much better.
You could use it in your garden for a stepping stone? :D

Oh, yes. It's funny - I probably bake at least 3-4 times per week (sometimes a few times in one day) and this is the first time I forgot the danged yeast!

You know what's funny? It actually was the perfect shape/density for a stepping stone. :lol:
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<p>Confirmed celiac disease February 2011 from biopsies. Strictly gluten free March 18 2011.Diagnosed with fibromyalgia April 13 2011.3 herniated discs, myofascial pain syndrome, IT band syndrome, 2 rotator cuff injuries - from an accident Dec. 07 - resulting in chronic pain ever since. Degenerative disc disease.Osteoarthritis in back and hips.Chronic insomnia mostly due to chronic pain.Aspartame free May 2011.

When our lives are squeezed by pressure and pain, what comes out is what is inside.

#10 squirmingitch

 
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Posted 29 February 2012 - 10:54 AM

Bubba's Mom has now given me a couple laughs today. Thumbs up!
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Self diagnosed dh Sept. 2011~~~ confirmed dx July 18, 2012
Gluten free Dec. 2011
Soy free Dec. 2011
Hubs self diagnosed dh March 30, 2012
Hubs gluten free March 30, 2012

Summer 2013 We both have added back a little soy which is near unavoidable & we are doing okay with that small amount.

 


#11 Darn210

 
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Posted 29 February 2012 - 11:35 AM

So, I am a seasoned cook and baker. Very seasoned. The monstrosity that came out of my oven today is my first gluten-free failure (and I've been baking a LOT of gluten-free breads, etc.) and what a failure it is.



Well, that's pretty remarkable, really, that you are just now getting around to producing a gluten-free flop. That's a pretty good run.
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Janet

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#12 love2travel

 
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Posted 29 February 2012 - 12:54 PM

Well, that's pretty remarkable, really, that you are just now getting around to producing a gluten-free flop. That's a pretty good run.

I've always been a good, confident baker and really know my food science so know what makes/doesn't make sense. That and tons of practice. This failure sure was a doozy! That thing is enough to give you nightmares! ;)
  • 0
<p>Confirmed celiac disease February 2011 from biopsies. Strictly gluten free March 18 2011.Diagnosed with fibromyalgia April 13 2011.3 herniated discs, myofascial pain syndrome, IT band syndrome, 2 rotator cuff injuries - from an accident Dec. 07 - resulting in chronic pain ever since. Degenerative disc disease.Osteoarthritis in back and hips.Chronic insomnia mostly due to chronic pain.Aspartame free May 2011.

When our lives are squeezed by pressure and pain, what comes out is what is inside.




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