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Need To Vent About How Others Are Treating Me!


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9 replies to this topic

#1 Victoria6102

 
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Posted 26 March 2012 - 06:53 PM

Well I guess I'm just here to vent about something that happened yesterday. Ive been told already that I should get new friends and that I should find a new church. I have made new friends, but I don't want to leave my church, and I have a few good friends so we're all good there. Just need to vent!
Yesterday, the teens at our church got together for some food and fellowship. I had my mom bring me some Five Guys french fries. I was eating them and then I realized that someone just took one off of my plate, but they had honestly forgotten that they weren't supposed to touch my food. I gave them the rest of my fries. One of my other friends accidentally drank my soda, so I went upstairs to get a new soda. When I came back down a group of kids stopped talking and said "Even my mom thought this was funny, come on let's go upstairs I'll tell you this story." My friend said "Before you tell that story, you might want to think it through, if it's necessary to tell!" They all went upstairs anyways and I sat down and I asked my (2)friends what that was about. They said, that they were talking about me and how I "faked" being glutened at a past year of camp. (The whole story of that is in one of my other posts). They were making fun of me and went upstairs with a few other kids to tell them all about it and how much I "exaggerated" and how "funny" it was that I was sick. For the record I was sick, and I was not faking it, although that's what they all think. Do you know how horrible it is to be sitting with your only 2 friends knowing a whole bunch of kids just went to another place to talk about you and your health issues?!?! I tried to compose myself but I just felt like crying. They all came back downstairs a few minutes later all laughing but acting like nothing was different. They didn't know that I knew they were talking about me. Me and my two friends left them to go somewhere else and all i said was "If you want to talk about me, feel free to do it in front of me." I tried to forget about it but it just bothered me so much, because as some of you may know from my other posts, these kids really don't believe me and get great pleasure out of talking about me and my celiac disease behind my back. Or to my face for that matter! A leader asked me what was wrong and I told her. She had them apologize to me. They did it, but you could tell some of them didn't mean it. They all gave me hugs, but one said "I just don't do hugs when I'm apologizing" All I could think was "Yeah, probably because you feel like such an IDIOT for the way you wre acting"But the thing is they don't even seem to have a conscience! They can make fun of me, get in trouble, apologize to me, and it doesn't phase them a bit! But I'm always the one who ends up getting left hurt in the end. I'm thankful for my two friends! The one stood up for me and the other talked to them after and explained to them how careful I have to be and that it's not a joke. They are both AWESOME and i'm lucky to have them!But the rest....I just can't stand. One of the rude kids told the others "I'm just done trying to be her friend" Well, Im not the one making fun of the other, so it is definitely not my problem that we can't be friends! Ok sorry thanks for listening. I just needed to get that out.phew i feel better( a little) haha!
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#2 AVR1962

 
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Posted 26 March 2012 - 09:00 PM

I am sorry this happened to you. It sounds like alot of immaturity on your friends' part. Don't take this personally, realize what they did is their issues. I think it is very hard to undersatnd unless someone walks in your shoes. I too have had all kinds of weird comments from family but wonderful support from my friends but we are all 50ish and do think that makes a difference.
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Yesterday is not ours to recover but today is ours to win or lose!

Miscarriage, Kidney stones, Anemia, Pneumonia, Migraines, Restless leg, Bone fractures, Blurred/Double vision, Extreme fatigue, Bone & Joint Pain, Thyroid nodule, Celiac diagnosed 2011, Spine and leg bone loss, GERD, Vitamin deficiencies, Malabsorbtion, Neuropathy issues, Ataxia, Raynaud's Syndrome. Currently on diet with limited grain and sugar.

#3 yolo

 
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Posted 26 March 2012 - 10:18 PM

I have had problems like that with my family. You would think they would know better. They are not youngsters. Teens could possibly be forgiven for acting so immaturely. However whomever does it its got to hurt and it does IMHO. I just would not associate with them. You have better things to do. Just don't speak with them any longer. Take up other interests. Thankfully you do have two good friends. I suggest you drop these other so called friends who abuse you even behind your back. IMHO they are not friends at all but rather narrow minded jerks. Even with my family I don't relate with the worst offenders any more. Life is just too short IMHO.
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Diagnosed celiac sprue as infant: failure to thrive & pneumonia-back on grains age 4. Began herbs 1971 combating chronic kidney disease/general ill health 1973. Avoid wheat family and "allergens" by 1980. Late 80's doc. diagnosed candida: cave-man diet. Diagnosed degraded myelin sheath 2006; need co-enzyme B vitamins. Discovered celiac fall 2007; finally told diagnosis as infant. Recently found I am salicylic acid intolerant. Ironically can't tolerate most herbs now. Can now eat brown rice & other gluten-free grains (except corn) & even maple syrup & now homeopathic medicine works! Am still exploring the shape of this elephant but I've made progress!

#4 squirmingitch

 
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Posted 27 March 2012 - 03:06 AM

Those immature creeps are not worth you bothering to even think about. They are creeps! Drop them like hot potatoes & keep your 2 true friends. Don't associate with the creeps even if you have to go to a new church because these kids certainly don't have any conscience & are not acting in any kind of christian manner.
The only solace is that one day these kids who are being so nasty will most likely deeply regret what they did to you but it will be too late --- you will have your life & they will not be able to go back in time & be proper human beings. It will haunt them. One day when you're 40 or 50 you may open your front door to find one of them standing there wanting to apologize & clear their conscience.
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Self diagnosed dh Sept. 2011~~~ confirmed dx July 18, 2012
Gluten free Dec. 2011
Soy free Dec. 2011
Hubs self diagnosed dh March 30, 2012
Hubs gluten free March 30, 2012

Summer 2013 We both have added back a little soy which is near unavoidable & we are doing okay with that small amount.

 


#5 Adalaide

 
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Posted 27 March 2012 - 06:08 AM

You aren't alone in being tortured. My oldest daughter (17) went gluten free after my diagnosis and is feeling much better. Sadly, her 15 year old sister is a brat. (They don't live with me so I have little to no control over their daily behavior.) The youngest has spent 2 months picking on her older sister. I finally got through to her when she was whining about how her big sister doesn't want to bake for her anymore. I was like "duh... she can't eat it and you're being cruel, would you want to cook or bake something amazingly delicious that you want terribly badly to eat but can't?" Teenagers in particular seem to lack any real type of empathy, and while terribly cruel I'd recommend just trying to shrug them off as jerks who aren't worth the bother of being upset about.
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"You don't look sick or anything"

"Well you don't look stupid, looks can be deceiving."

 

Celiac DX Dec 2012

CRPS DX March 2014


#6 dani nero

 
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Posted 27 March 2012 - 07:03 AM

Sweetie, you shouldn't care. The more you care the more it effects you, and your two good friends. No one else. It won't effect those who are causing your pain.
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Self diagnosed January 2012, and on elimination, low-salicylate & low-iodine diet.
Also G6PD

#7 Victoria6102

 
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Posted 27 March 2012 - 07:21 AM

Thank you all for your advice :) I try not to care but I see them atleast 3 or 4 times a week and just the constant rude comments get to me after awhile. I will try to not let it bother me:) but that's what this forum is for, getting help and advice and just venting when you need to right?:)
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#8 ravenwoodglass

 
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Posted 27 March 2012 - 07:41 AM

Thank you all for your advice :) I try not to care but I see them atleast 3 or 4 times a week and just the constant rude comments get to me after awhile. I will try to not let it bother me:) but that's what this forum is for, getting help and advice and just venting when you need to right?:)


Yes this forum is a safe place for you to vent. Do feel free to do so.
We all have to deal with bullies whether they are in school, church, in the workplace, etc.. It is hard not to let it bother you but try not to dwell on it too much. Spend as little time as you can around those people and when they are not around try not to think about them. Chances are good that at least a couple of them will be diagnosed themselves eventually as gluten issues are much more common than a lot of people think and doctors are starting to realize it and test for it more. I believe in what goes around comes around and try to deal with folks like them by telling myself that one way or the other......
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Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)


celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom


Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

#9 dani nero

 
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Posted 27 March 2012 - 07:48 AM

Thank you all for your advice :) I try not to care but I see them atleast 3 or 4 times a week and just the constant rude comments get to me after awhile. I will try to not let it bother me:) but that's what this forum is for, getting help and advice and just venting when you need to right?:)


Vent as much as you like :-) Have fun with your two friends and don't waste your time on those who don't matter to you. Who cares what they say or think as long as you're happy.
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Self diagnosed January 2012, and on elimination, low-salicylate & low-iodine diet.
Also G6PD

#10 Skylark

 
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Posted 27 March 2012 - 10:26 AM

I hated being a teenager. It's so painful. It didn't get better until I learned to stop worrying about what other people think. People talking behind each others backs is a simple fact of life and you have to get used to it. It's not a big deal until YOU decide it's horrible. Then it's horrible. You are in control of your thoughts and what goes on in your mind, not them. You can stop the pain by ignoring what they say and choosing to love yourself (including your celiac disease) instead.

I believe this is the sort of situation Jesus was talking about when He said "turn the other cheek". Don't let it bother you, don't react, don't insult back, don't try to defend yourself (they will just tell more lies), don't worry about what goes on behind your back, just turn the other cheek while you remember that the things they are saying are simply untrue. They can talk behind your back, but they can't take away your dignity, confidence, and self-love. Try to find some compassion by understanding that these kids are so lacking in real confidence that the only way they can build themselves up is by breaking someone else down. What a pathetic way to live!

The only thing that matters is that you have a couple good friends, which it sounds like you do, and that the adults around are helping you get safe food.
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