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A Joke For Today


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75 replies to this topic

#1 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 27 April 2012 - 03:22 PM

>
>
>
> After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
>
> He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
>
> She asks ... "What the hell does that mean?"
>
> He said,"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,
> and Hot".
>
> She smiled happily and said ...
> "Oh, that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?"
>
> He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
>
> The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.
  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


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#2 Bubba's Mom

 
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Posted 28 April 2012 - 07:57 AM

LOL! :lol:
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#3 kareng

 
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Posted 28 April 2012 - 09:32 AM

Saw this on FB. From Perpetual Kid. Not exactly a joke but a funny idea:


This weekend, you should try walking into a store all panicked and ask what year it is. When they respond with 2012, smile... start laughing uncontrollably and start screaming, "IT WORKED!!! IT WORKED!!!" If you can capture this on video, even better.
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LTES

 
"We've waited 29 years for this and not even a Giant can stand in our way." - Mayor Sly James
 
 
 
 
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#4 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 28 April 2012 - 09:52 AM

Saw this on FB. From Perpetual Kid. Not exactly a joke but a funny idea:


This weekend, you should try walking into a store all panicked and ask what year it is. When they respond with 2012, smile... start laughing uncontrollably and start screaming, "IT WORKED!!! IT WORKED!!!" If you can capture this on video, even better.



:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll do it!!! you know I will....
  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#5 JNBunnie1

 
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Posted 28 April 2012 - 12:19 PM

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll do it!!! you know I will....

Piece of advice- will be more effective with torn clothing and sticks&twigs in your hair. Just sayin....
  • 0
If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

#6 kareng

 
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Posted 28 April 2012 - 12:21 PM

Or clothes from the past. Like little house on the prairie or 1920s flapper
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LTES

 
"We've waited 29 years for this and not even a Giant can stand in our way." - Mayor Sly James
 
 
 
 
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#7 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 28 April 2012 - 03:18 PM

Funny you mention this!!!

today, (because it was more fun than Spring cleaning <_< )...I was thinking of going with the flapper outfit from when I played Flo in the musical "Good News"....boa and all.

Think it'll work??
  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#8 kareng

 
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Posted 30 April 2012 - 07:11 AM

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"
  • 1

LTES

 
"We've waited 29 years for this and not even a Giant can stand in our way." - Mayor Sly James
 
 
 
 
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#9 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 30 April 2012 - 11:08 AM

:lol: :lol: :lol:
  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#10 squirmingitch

 
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Posted 11 May 2012 - 04:29 PM

A feel good video for the day:


I guarantee you will be amazed. She's NINETY FOUR!
















































For all you dancers out there









YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO ENJOY LIFE:)









Mathilda's Solo, something to look forward to?



And she is 94 now!!



http://www.youtube.c...p?v=8LOdmka4_90
  • 0

Self diagnosed dh Sept. 2011~~~ confirmed dx July 18, 2012
Gluten free Dec. 2011
Soy free Dec. 2011
Hubs self diagnosed dh March 30, 2012
Hubs gluten free March 30, 2012

Summer 2013 We both have added back a little soy which is near unavoidable & we are doing okay with that small amount.

 


#11 pricklypear1971

 
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Posted 11 May 2012 - 06:54 PM

I wish I could do that NOW.
  • 0
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. ~ Mark Twain

Probable Endometriosis, in remission from childbirth since 2002.
Hashimoto's DX 2005.
Gluten-Free since 6/2011.
DH (and therefore Celiac) dx from ND
.
Responsive to iodine withdrawal for DH (see quote, above).

Genetic tests reveal half DQ2, half DQ8 - I'm a weird bird!

#12 mushroom

 
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Posted 11 May 2012 - 09:16 PM

OMG, that little lady is wonderful!!! Hat off to her. :)
  • 0
Neroli


"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." - Albert Einstein

"Life is not weathering the storm; it is learning to dance in the rain"

"Whatever the question, the answer is always chocolate." Nigella Lawson

------------

Caffeine free 1973
Lactose free 1990
(Mis)diagnosed IBS, fibromyalgia '80's and '90's
Diagnosed psoriatic arthritis 2004
Self-diagnosed gluten intolerant, gluten-free Nov. 2007
Soy free March 2008
Nightshade free Feb 2009
Citric acid free June 2009
Potato starch free July 2009
(Totally) corn free Nov. 2009
Legume free March 2010
Now tolerant of lactose

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#13 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 12 May 2012 - 05:29 AM

Hey, how did you get your hands on that video of me?.....they said it would not be posted on youtube!!!


:lol:

That chick is SOMETHING!! Rock on, sister!

My parents danced like that. Elegant. Graceful. sigh.
I dance like that, but hubs....er, does not. Two left feet.
He says, you do all the work, babe. So, I dance around him. :lol:

That's right, SQUIRMY, you are never too old to dance.
I still dance, even when I am extra ouchy.
It's good for the soul. :)
  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#14 squirmingitch

 
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Posted 12 May 2012 - 04:30 PM

I can't keep still when the music moves me! And the music moves me ---- well, anytime I hear music!Posted Image
  • 0

Self diagnosed dh Sept. 2011~~~ confirmed dx July 18, 2012
Gluten free Dec. 2011
Soy free Dec. 2011
Hubs self diagnosed dh March 30, 2012
Hubs gluten free March 30, 2012

Summer 2013 We both have added back a little soy which is near unavoidable & we are doing okay with that small amount.

 


#15 kareng

 
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Posted 19 May 2012 - 11:49 AM


Joke of the Day

Lawrence , Kansas, December 12, 2008
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.

The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

4.. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by...........
pissing and moaning.

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LTES

 
"We've waited 29 years for this and not even a Giant can stand in our way." - Mayor Sly James
 
 
 
 
Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator
 

 





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