Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

A Joke For Today
0

76 posts in this topic

>

>

>

> After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

>

> He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

>

> She asks ... "What the hell does that mean?"

>

> He said,"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,

> and Hot".

>

> She smiled happily and said ...

> "Oh, that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?"

>

> He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

>

> The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:

Saw this on FB. From Perpetual Kid. Not exactly a joke but a funny idea:

This weekend, you should try walking into a store all panicked and ask what year it is. When they respond with 2012, smile... start laughing uncontrollably and start screaming, "IT WORKED!!! IT WORKED!!!" If you can capture this on video, even better.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Saw this on FB. From Perpetual Kid. Not exactly a joke but a funny idea:

This weekend, you should try walking into a store all panicked and ask what year it is. When they respond with 2012, smile... start laughing uncontrollably and start screaming, "IT WORKED!!! IT WORKED!!!" If you can capture this on video, even better.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll do it!!! you know I will....

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll do it!!! you know I will....

Piece of advice- will be more effective with torn clothing and sticks&twigs in your hair. Just sayin....

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites




Or clothes from the past. Like little house on the prairie or 1920s flapper

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Funny you mention this!!!

today, (because it was more fun than Spring cleaning <_< )...I was thinking of going with the flapper outfit from when I played Flo in the musical "Good News"....boa and all.

Think it'll work??

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A feel good video for the day:

I guarantee you will be amazed. She's NINETY FOUR!

For all you dancers out there

YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO ENJOY LIFE:)

Mathilda's Solo, something to look forward to?

And she is 94 now!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=8LOdmka4_90

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG, that little lady is wonderful!!! Hat off to her. :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, how did you get your hands on that video of me?.....they said it would not be posted on youtube!!!

:lol:

That chick is SOMETHING!! Rock on, sister!

My parents danced like that. Elegant. Graceful. sigh.

I dance like that, but hubs....er, does not. Two left feet.

He says, you do all the work, babe. So, I dance around him. :lol:

That's right, SQUIRMY, you are never too old to dance.

I still dance, even when I am extra ouchy.

It's good for the soul. :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't keep still when the music moves me! And the music moves me ---- well, anytime I hear music!laugh.gif

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That reminds me of a coworker I had who complained all the time. He would use that old saying, the squeaky wheel always gets the grease? I got sick of it one day and told him that sometimes the squeaky wheel gets rePLACED. He got fired a week later... :D

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sometimes the squeaky wheel gets rePLACED. He got fired a week later... :D

:lol: :lol:

sometimes, the universe just rights itself, doesn't it??

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Heard this one today.

A tough old cowboy from South Texas counseled his grandson

that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to

sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he

died.

He left behind 14 children

30 grandchildren

45 great-grandchildren

25 great-great-grandchildren, and a

15-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

GOOD: At Houma, a policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER: A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in New Orleans. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Louisiana State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball." He replied, "Louisiana State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

GOOD: At Houma, a policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER: A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in New Orleans. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Louisiana State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball." He replied, "Louisiana State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.

Good ones! :D

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

It's a good thing it wasn't me driving that car when he said that.

I may not have known to leave well enough alone.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ditto that IH.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      104,654
    • Total Posts
      921,620
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Any place you know of to find more info? Seems like I am still in so much pain/bloat, I am not even sure if I would pick the right 5 foods!
    • Don't freak out worrying about other maladies yet. You would be absolutely amazed at the things that can/will resolve on the gluten free diet. Some take longer than others -- neurological seem to take the longest for most people but really, I guarantee, there will be things you had no idea or expectation of resolving will. There were tons for me and then there were things I sort of "woke up one day" & said, "hey, that's gone and that & that & that". Other, larger things had taken my attention so I hadn't paid attention to the smaller things until...... On the other hand, not everything is related to celiac but I bet you wouldn't find a handful of celiacs who didn't say something very similar to what I said above. Yes, thyroid problems are common with celiac but I'll also tell you there are/have been people on here who were hypothyroid before dx but after being gluten-free for a while they actually went back to normal thyroid numbers. My husband is one (yes, we both are celiac - it happens). He was on synthroid for 20 years or more. Guess what? He's not on it anymore. We've had his thyroid panel done several times since about a year gluten-free & he is no longer hypothyroid. 
    • Yes please, that'd be awesome Having a fun time trying to reply on my phone due to broken screen but will be back on tomorrow after results of doctor appointment to get to the bottom of why they've given me seemingly wrong advice re: next steps. Yup I'll admit to pity, anger, frustration and outright fear, been through the mill of emotions in this first week that's for sure. One thing before I go for that; back when I was self-diagnosing I wanted a full thyroid panel (T3, T4 etc.) and also ESR & CRP checks for vasculitis and similar maladies. Now it seems from my reading they can often follow celiac so my worry level of those has gone up a notch, more blood tests ahoy it seems? Main reason for worrying about those is the nearly constant tight / tender head I have at the moment. Top and sides of scalp. Could be the stress tensing the shoulders and occipital muscles at back of head but after the celiac diagnosis being missed I'm fearful of anything else being missed. Did anyone else have this tight head feeling at the start? Feels like the skin is being pulled inwards, sometimes goes down for a few minutes here and there and gets worse when sitting I think. I see the term "brain fog" a lot but luckily don't seem to have too much of that at present, this is more a physical sensation.
    • I don't have a lot of faith in the allergy testing naturalpaths do. I had them done, but really it wasn't very helpful. Foods that were okay on the blood work- I was still having obvious reactions to. Skin testing through an allergist didn't show up food allergies either. I agree the food elimination diet is a better way to go and doesn't cost a bunch of money. I did a whole 30 diet a while back that could have been helpful if the foods I reacted to were corn, dairy,  soy, grains and sugar- but I react to more than that.  I do need to do a major elimination diet- just haven't gotten up the willpower yet.   
    • Quick search gave too many responses to TGI Fridays but none to TGI Fridays Buns (or similar) so... I was talking with my sister-in-law (Gluten Intolerant) and she spoke highly of a pre-packaged bun from Fridays. I was hesitant but she gave me one (apparently you can buy them from the restaurant?) and I tried it. Since I'm slow to react I won't know about gluten for a bit but I can definitely say it is the closest to "real" I've had in years! Spongy, doesn't crumble while eating a sandwich and tastes good. Color me impressed! I tried to determine the manufacturer or if Fridays actually makes them but I can't locate anything worth pursuing. Anyone have information on this? Thanks in advance.
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      61,654
    • Most Online
      3,093

    Newest Member
    bentcreekmom
    Joined