Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

  • Announcements

    • admin

      Frequently Asked Questions About Celiac Disease   09/30/2015

      This Celiac.com FAQ on celiac disease will guide you to all of the basic information you will need to know about the disease, its diagnosis, testing methods, a gluten-free diet, etc.   Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts What are the major symptoms of celiac disease? Celiac Disease Symptoms What testing is available for celiac disease? - list blood tests, endo with biopsy, genetic test and enterolab (not diagnostic) Celiac Disease Screening Interpretation of Celiac Disease Blood Test Results Can I be tested even though I am eating gluten free? How long must gluten be taken for the serological tests to be meaningful? The Gluten-Free Diet 101 - A Beginner's Guide to Going Gluten-Free Is celiac inherited? Should my children be tested? Ten Facts About Celiac Disease Genetic Testing Is there a link between celiac and other autoimmune diseases? Celiac Disease Research: Associated Diseases and Disorders Is there a list of gluten foods to avoid? Unsafe Gluten-Free Food List (Unsafe Ingredients) Is there a list of gluten free foods? Safe Gluten-Free Food List (Safe Ingredients) Gluten-Free Alcoholic Beverages Distilled Spirits (Grain Alcohols) and Vinegar: Are they Gluten-Free? Where does gluten hide? Additional Things to Beware of to Maintain a 100% Gluten-Free Diet Free recipes: Gluten-Free Recipes Where can I buy gluten-free stuff? Support this site by shopping at The Celiac.com Store.

A Joke For Today
0

76 posts in this topic

>

>

>

> After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

>

> He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

>

> She asks ... "What the hell does that mean?"

>

> He said,"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,

> and Hot".

>

> She smiled happily and said ...

> "Oh, that's so lovely. What about I, J, K?"

>

> He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

>

> The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:

Saw this on FB. From Perpetual Kid. Not exactly a joke but a funny idea:

This weekend, you should try walking into a store all panicked and ask what year it is. When they respond with 2012, smile... start laughing uncontrollably and start screaming, "IT WORKED!!! IT WORKED!!!" If you can capture this on video, even better.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Saw this on FB. From Perpetual Kid. Not exactly a joke but a funny idea:

This weekend, you should try walking into a store all panicked and ask what year it is. When they respond with 2012, smile... start laughing uncontrollably and start screaming, "IT WORKED!!! IT WORKED!!!" If you can capture this on video, even better.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll do it!!! you know I will....

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll do it!!! you know I will....

Piece of advice- will be more effective with torn clothing and sticks&twigs in your hair. Just sayin....

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites




Or clothes from the past. Like little house on the prairie or 1920s flapper

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Funny you mention this!!!

today, (because it was more fun than Spring cleaning <_< )...I was thinking of going with the flapper outfit from when I played Flo in the musical "Good News"....boa and all.

Think it'll work??

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
:lol: :lol: :lol:
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A feel good video for the day:

I guarantee you will be amazed. She's NINETY FOUR!

For all you dancers out there

YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO ENJOY LIFE:)

Mathilda's Solo, something to look forward to?

And she is 94 now!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=8LOdmka4_90

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG, that little lady is wonderful!!! Hat off to her. :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, how did you get your hands on that video of me?.....they said it would not be posted on youtube!!!

:lol:

That chick is SOMETHING!! Rock on, sister!

My parents danced like that. Elegant. Graceful. sigh.

I dance like that, but hubs....er, does not. Two left feet.

He says, you do all the work, babe. So, I dance around him. :lol:

That's right, SQUIRMY, you are never too old to dance.

I still dance, even when I am extra ouchy.

It's good for the soul. :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't keep still when the music moves me! And the music moves me ---- well, anytime I hear music!laugh.gif

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That reminds me of a coworker I had who complained all the time. He would use that old saying, the squeaky wheel always gets the grease? I got sick of it one day and told him that sometimes the squeaky wheel gets rePLACED. He got fired a week later... :D

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sometimes the squeaky wheel gets rePLACED. He got fired a week later... :D

:lol: :lol:

sometimes, the universe just rights itself, doesn't it??

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Heard this one today.

A tough old cowboy from South Texas counseled his grandson

that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to

sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he

died.

He left behind 14 children

30 grandchildren

45 great-grandchildren

25 great-great-grandchildren, and a

15-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

GOOD: At Houma, a policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER: A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in New Orleans. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Louisiana State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball." He replied, "Louisiana State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

GOOD: At Houma, a policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER: A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in New Orleans. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Louisiana State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball." He replied, "Louisiana State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.

Good ones! :D

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

It's a good thing it wasn't me driving that car when he said that.

I may not have known to leave well enough alone.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ditto that IH.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      103,366
    • Total Posts
      917,513
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • What Are Your Brands & Flavors Of Gluten Free Ice Cream ?
      I don't worry about the same facility, but I check if it is on the same lines. I think it is usually a good idea to find out if things are made on shared lines. And if they are made on the same line as gluten-containing products how good is the cleaning in between? Chocolate is a good example of this. For example, I contacted a company whose chocolate I used to eat before being diagnosed and they outright told me they are not good about cleaning on shared lines and it is not safe for allergies or celiac. I have had this response from other companies as well (especially when it comes to chocolate sadly). I think this is why Godiva is not safe. Its just a good idea to check.
    • TRUSTING OTHERS about GLUTEN! how do you know if someone has used gluten free flour?
      Wow you all have more balls than I do. I've been gluten free since 2007 and I'm still afraid of offending people. It gives me lots of troubles, really. I'm more like rockstarkate I guess...the "people pleasing" aspect.  I love how you all just have the flat out rule I Will Not Eat It Unless I or a Celiac Made it. (Or a trusted family member).  I still simper and grovel and cringe and apologetically turn things away.  People still put dishes in my face and say "This should be gluten free..."  and I have to awkwardly not eat it and then seem rude.  I've done the whole...checking the bottles thing too.  I do try to dart out of things more though now. I volunteered in other countries in recent years and I felt as vulnerable as all heck, having to rely on them to make food, as well as definitely feeling like I offended people who didn't get it at all. I was feeling brave when I signed up for those but after the second time I was like okay, the fear/anxiety/stress about the food is too much. I managed to dodge out of getting sick, and for the most part people humored me...but it was pretty difficult because I don't like offending people, especially other cultures, with them trying to be nice and make food for me...pretty sure I did offend people as well as annoy many others.  Anyway...no OP, you are not alone. For sure I have trust issues eating other people's food. They say they know but I do truly doubt they are as strict as I would be.   A few times I will still brave eating something...like some little mozzarella balls with vinegar...though, I did still look at the labels.  Someone had to give me a persuasive speech and show me all ingredients (just salt and pepper) after making me chicken wings once. I do tell people, basically, NOT to make me stuff. But they still do.  Another time a friend had worked really hard and was having a terrible time and offered me a burger patty when I arrived, assuring me it was gluten free. I knew I hadn't been there to watch whether she used the "bun spatula" on it or not...but I just didn't feel like giving her a fight about it since she was having a rough time and hosts like to feel they are feeding guests, blah blah. So I ate it. And got glutened. And wailed and gnashed my teeth haha. Lesson learned.  I need to stick to my guns more. I just always feel like I'm being too "difficult" as it is. But...sigh.  It is refreshing for me to read these empowered no BS responses though. You all remind me of where I'm coming from, and not that I'm just being some kind of high maintenance, rude, crazy person. You'd think after, what, nine years now, I wouldn't still be bothered by it...
    • Mashed potato soup during healing
      I was on pretty much a liquid diet for 8 months waiting for my nausea to go away completely. I mostly had mashed potato soup, 1/2 fat ice cream (mostly whey, not milk), chocolate drink (no added milk) and gummy vitamins. The soup tasted yummy and I'm still alive so I figured I'd share it for people not feeling well in the beginning. I've been noticing people with alot of trouble keeping food down in recent posts. I couldn't have milk or eggs, but the cheese in the recipe didn't bother me at all. Notice the lack of spices. Makes it easy on the stomach.   Mashed potato soup: Boiled yukon gold potatoes (5lb bag) 1 package cauliflower, steamed 4-6 slices of Land O'Lakes white American cheese 4 tablespoons butter salt 16 cups homemade chicken broth, salted   Chop steamed cauliflower into teensy bits (pureed is better). Put in mixer with butter, cheese and a potato or two. Blend while slowly adding potatoes. Keep whipping for a few minutes to insure the cauliflower and potatoes are not lumpy at all. Salt to taste.   Combine 1/2 cup mashed potatoes to 1 cup salted chicken broth. Mix with spoon until mashed potatoes have completely dissolved. Enjoy. Individual servings can be frozen.   Homemade chicken broth: makes 8 - 10 cups of broth   1 organic chicken (regular chickens are too big) 1 stalk celery 1 carrot 1 large bay leaf 1/2 package fresh thyme from the  herb section of the vegetables area   Put all ingredients in pressure cooker along with 1.5 liters water. Bring to pressure. Cook for 35 minutes. Separate broth from solids. Separate broth from fat. Add ridiculous quantities of salt until it tastes like soup. Sorry I use a salt grinder so I don't have precise salt quantities.    
    • I have kidney stones...spent last night at the ER
      Hey ArtG, I saw the urologist today...unfortunately for me they can still see my stones on an xray.  Sigh.  The largest is 3x6 in my right kidney.  He does not believe I can pass this one on my own.   All of my bloodwork came back fine.  Nothing alarming in the urinalysis either. His recommendations...keep drinking tons of water.  I had 4.2 liters of urine output when I tested.  Add in a fish oil supplement.  Decrease sodium intake.  Limit meat to 10 ounces per day.  Increase dietary calcium.   Work at lowering oxalate consumption...my urinary oxalate was 45.  They want it between 20 and 40.  But he gets people that are over 100 so mine is not all that high. 3 options...1. watch and wait.  Recheck in a few months to see if there is stone growth.  2. Shock wave lithotripsy.  3. Let it come out when it decides to and see what happens. I just don't know.  I hate the idea of being put under as they would do for the shock wave thing.  I've had too many surgeries already.  It scares me to be honest.  I also don't want to deal with another episode.   I don't know what I'll do.  We've got a vacation planned at the end of the month and I just want to go and enjoy that.  Not worry about kidney stones. I'm sorry to hear about your upcoming surgery...it really is always something!
    • celiac disease is psychosomatic
      I know what food products are. Probiotics was a recent example I saw on the news about things labeled gluten free that were not gluten free. So, supplement labels in addition to food labels.
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Larry Gessner  »  cyclinglady

      Hi There, I don't know if there is a place for videos in the forum. I just watched "The Truth About Gluten" I think it is a good video. I would like to share it somewhere but don't know where it should go. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
      Here is the link if you have never watched it.
      https://youtu.be/IU6jVEwpjnE Thank You,
      Larry
      · 2 replies
    • ChiaChick  »  Peaceflower

      Hi Peaceflower, Just wanted to say thank you for the chat.
      · 0 replies
    • ukuleleerika

      Hello! I am new to this Celiac website... Is there anyone out there with Celiac AND extensive food allergies? My allergies include shellfish, dairy, eggs, cantaloupe, kiwi, mango, nuts, oranges, red dye, and more I can't think of. I went to the allergist about a year ago to see why I wasn't feeling well, and once everything was eliminated, I still didn't feel well. We did more testing to find out I had celiac as well as allergies to cattle as well as rye grass (I live on a farm basically). This was back in January 2016. I recently had my endoscopy with the gastroenterologist a week ago. I have no idea what to do or what to eat... So fish and potatoes for me!
      · 2 replies
  • Who's Online (See full list)

    There are no registered users currently online

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      60,513
    • Most Online
      1,763

    Newest Member
    ajrosales
    Joined