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Need To Vent...husband Doesn't Get It!


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18 replies to this topic

#16 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 07 September 2012 - 06:42 AM

Hey, has anyone out there solved this problem ever? Here is me again. How does one cope? How can we husband and wife win? I just want to live in peace and without gluten.


Make your home gluten free. Serve everyone the same delicious wholesome foods that you eat. Tell "them take it or leave it"?

My husband went gluten-free with me (I did not ask) after he saw how easily cross-contamination can occur and how deathly ill celiac made me.

He chose to put my health first over everything else.

He learned how to read labels and he helped me replace what needed replacing in the house.

He does not feel deprived of anything, believe me; I feed him like a king. :)

The main thing is, he is no longer deprived of his wife! --because I am recovering and no longer dying --as he watched me, helplessly, dwindle down for years.

Until your spouses, family members (and friends, too) get it through their heads that gluten is poison and will kill you, I do not know how how supportive they will be. Have any of them READ anything about this disease so they understand it?

Can spouses live together--one gluten-free and the other not? SURE!!

Lots of members on here co-exist just fine with gluten eaters.

But it takes COOPERATION on the part of all family members--are they willing to learn how to keep the celiac safe? Do they keep their gluten foods separate? do they accept and understand that Mom (or Dad) need support and understanding--not mocking, ridicule or teasing?

Put your foot down. This is your own life you are saving. You have a potentially life-threatening disease and without these safety measures in place, you will not really get well. You will keep feeling lousy and putting up with the stress their non-cooperation and criticism causes you.

Without their cooperation, you guys will continue to butt heads with your family members--for the rest of your lives. Who needs that?

Just my two cents. Feel free to ignore.
Best wishes.
  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


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#17 kareng

 
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Posted 07 September 2012 - 07:23 AM

I live with gluten eaters. I think the key to that is:

1. They must "buy into" the Celiac diagnosis:
Both my boys had friends with Celiac (I didn't know this at the time) so they had an idea that it was real. They and my hub wanted to make me well


2. Old enough to be responsible for thier own food:
My boys were 13 and 16 and were already responsible for thier own food sometimes. They had both cooked so they had some idea of what is in food.


3. Procedures that are very easy to follow without a lot of thought
We have a separate counter with a cabinet to fix gluten toast and sandwiches and pretzels and Cheezits. Its easy to do. The bread is there, the toaster is there, the gluten PB is there. It is easy and takes no thought to make the sandwich there.

If its red, its gluten free. I have red cooking spoons, etc and red tape for the lid of my PB.

4. Its OK to make a mistake if you fix it:

If you forget to get the cheese out before you get the bread or crackers out, put the left-over cheese in a baggie and label it with your name. I will not be mad, even if I really wanted some. It has to be safe to admit you messed up.
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Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare.  They are consumed in 12 minutes.  Half-times take 12 minutes.  This is not a coincidence.  - Emma Bombeck
 
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#18 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 07 September 2012 - 08:02 AM

I am so glad you saw this and posted, K (I was just going to PM you and ask if you'd pipe in (you must be psychotic psychic)---because when I said:

"Lots of members on here co-exist just fine with gluten eaters"

you are one of the ones I was talking about. ;)
  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#19 DavinaRN

 
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Posted 03 October 2012 - 05:43 PM

I so understand, I will be going glutten free silently if my blood work is negative (I can tell a difference just going gluten free one meal). I want to feel better! The lung surgery was suppose to make me normal again, although most can't see the exhaustion even the hubby but my son can. His view is he would worry if I felt good. As to the percentages, lets see lung malformations make up 2% of birth defects and my type makes up 1% of that 2%. Better safe bets the odds are not with me.
  • 0
Gluten Free since October 2012
Negative blood work, positive dietary response
Endocrinologist offered referral to GI if I needed formal diagnosis to follow the diet, otherwise just pass on wheat, barley & rye
and save my money




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