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The Mental Aspect Of Dieting
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I have what I call "fat celiac" the one where doctors refuse to think you have celiac because your metabolism slowed down and you gained weight for no reason instead of you getting very thin. I was always thin and was able to lose weight easily if I gained a few pounds, always athletic, dance teacher, worked out a lot, surfing, mountain biking, etc. Then one day I just couldn't lose weight no matter how hard I worked out. Everyone was baffled and then doctors just accused me of not really working as hard as I said I was or eating junk food all the time which I didn't. AT one point I was seeing a personal trainer 3 times a week for an hour doing ALL plyometrics, taking a professional 1 1/2 hour dance class on Saturdays and then heading to the beach for 3 to 4 hour surfing sessions after my class and I was still 30 pounds overweight and could not lose it. Tried several diet plans and followed them religiously and... nothing, nada, big fat zero weight losses.

It's been 2 1/2 years since diagnosis for me. I still have quite a bit of weight to lose. I just can't wrap my head around dieting. After all the years of feeling sick and starving all the time no matter how much I ate. Then the deprivation that comes with the gluten free diet (yes I am a great gluten free baker and I can make the most kickass german chocolate cake you've ever tasted, but still... can't raid the dessert table at Soup Plantation.) I just cannot deprive myself of food.

I want to EAT! For my whole life eating made me feel sick. Eating gave me stomach pains. I tried several different types of elimination diets to figure out what was wrong with me, different weight loss diets to lose the stubborn weight that responded to nothing. Now I'm on a gluten free diet for life. Messing with my food for so long has messed with my head.

I need to diet badly but I don't want to!!! I hate being overweight. I loathe not being able to wear all the cute clothes I want to wear and I hate feeling like I'm carrying around all this extra baggage. But.... I don't want to diet.

I find myself doing what I call entitlement eating. "Well, I wasn't able to eat those cherry cupcakes at the party so I'll go home and make myself a gluten free cherry cake... and eat 3 pieces of it. And eat some more at breakfast."

I have a celiac child so I work very hard at not depriving us of fun good foods. But I eat too much of them because I want to eat. After starving for years I want to eat.

So how do you untangle your mental dieting mess.

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I have a few eating problems, so I can identify with you. My body is now rather sensitive to a lot of things, sugar being chief amongst them. Half a chocolate bar (and I mean low sugar dark chocolate!) and I feel like hell all the next day. This is frustrating for the girl who was on the toaster strudel/fried chicken diet before gluten-free.

So what I do is I sublimate, and I substitute. Now, my issue is not my weight, it is my health, so I don't know if all these ideas are the best for you. But what I do is when I crave sweets, I eat olive oil potato chips instead. If I REALLY start wanting something like cherry cheesecake, or ice cream, instead I make a special dinner like strip steak and roasted purple potatoes with my favorite green beans. It's like I treat myself like a three year old child and am constantly distracting myself from the things I originally wanted and replacing them with healthier, extremely satisfying foods.

Also, I've learned what foods fill me up the most and how to combine foods to make them last longer in my stomach. Food moves through my stomach at a ridiculously fast rate, so I purposely eat high protein, high fat, and high fiber. Combining these three helps keep food in my stomach longer. For example, baked chicken thighs with a vinagrette salad and corn would last about half an hour in my stomach. But baked chicken thighs with sweet potato and salad with ranch dressing made from yogurt will keep me full all night.

Hope this helps!

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Sandandsurfgirl, I have so much in common with you. Diagnosed five years now and am overweight

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Don't give up on the counseling idea. Have you tried Regional mental health clinics? They are based on your ability to pay and not expensive. Also, if you are involved with a church, there may be some help available there. It does sound like you are sabataging yourself for some reason. I have had to develop a very strong will power to lose anything. I am now down about 16 pounds and need to lose about 20 more, so I know how hard it is.

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