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Just A Little Humor


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18 replies to this topic

#1 Razzle Dazzle Brazell

 
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Posted 17 June 2012 - 10:47 AM

I think every celiac should carry, not just an emergency medical card, but a card called a "UDUMB" card. This stands for "U Dont Understand My Body" card. This card should have answers to frequently asked questions and comments that people make. It will make life simpler for every celiac and gluten intolerant. These cards should be highly customizable.

I think with all the times people ask me whats wrong with me and why I am not involved in activities like I once was or why I act like everyone' s food is poison, Mine would read:

1. You dont need a doctor to tell you chili gives you heartburn so why do I need a doctor to tell me gluten makes me ill?
2. I am not fat I just have a wheat belly.
3. I am not picky; it is just my immune system that is.
4. If celiac were contagious, one in every 130 americans would be in quarantine.
5. No there is not a beano pill for gluten.
:lol:

What would yours say?
  • 3
Gluten and Oat Free 6/'12
Dairy, Corn and Yeast free 7/'12
Nightshade Free, Candida diet & low salicylates 8/'12
Nightshades and carbs and sugars limitedly reintroduced, most salicylates now tolerated 9/'12
No longer Reacting to yeasty breads 10/'12
Test confirmed yeast overgrowth, back on Candida diet 11/'12

You only get one life so make it count.

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#2 bartfull

 
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Posted 17 June 2012 - 11:34 AM

1. No, I am NOT making this up.

2. Yes, as a matter of fact, it DOES hurt.

3. If just the smell of peanuts can kill someone with a peanut allergy, why do you insist that a couple of gluten crumbs won't hurt me, a Celiac?

3. No, Celiac is not something one gets over eventually.

4. Yes, when it comes down to hurting your feelings because I can't eat your food, or being sick for weeks, your feelings are going to lose every time.

5. Have you been to Celiac.com? I think you need to go there and read because it sure sounds to ME like you too have Celiac.
  • 4

gluten-free since June, 2011

Can't eat soy, corn, or foods high in salicylates.

Nightshades now seem to bother me too.

 

BUT I CAN STILL PLAY MY GUITAR AND THAT"S ALL THAT MATTERS!

 


#3 squirmingitch

 
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Posted 17 June 2012 - 12:41 PM

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image What a riot Razzle! I love your sense of humor.

Just make mine say what yours does --- it's perfect.
  • 0

Self diagnosed dh Sept. 2011~~~ confirmed dx July 18, 2012
Gluten free Dec. 2011
Soy free Dec. 2011
Hubs self diagnosed dh March 30, 2012
Hubs gluten free March 30, 2012

Summer 2013 We both have added back a little soy which is near unavoidable & we are doing okay with that small amount.

 


#4 love2travel

 
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Posted 17 June 2012 - 12:45 PM

In addition to what has been mentioned, mine would say, Of couse I am lucky to have celiac in order to lose weight! Lucky, lucky, lucky me to have chosen this disease. <_< And no, I cannot have just one piece of cake.
  • 2
<p>Confirmed celiac disease February 2011 from biopsies. Strictly gluten free March 18 2011.Diagnosed with fibromyalgia April 13 2011.3 herniated discs, myofascial pain syndrome, IT band syndrome, 2 rotator cuff injuries - from an accident Dec. 07 - resulting in chronic pain ever since. Degenerative disc disease.Osteoarthritis in back and hips.Chronic insomnia mostly due to chronic pain.Aspartame free May 2011.

When our lives are squeezed by pressure and pain, what comes out is what is inside.

#5 bartfull

 
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Posted 17 June 2012 - 12:52 PM

Oh, and don't forget the classic:

No, actually you WOULDN'T die if you had to give up bread!
  • 3

gluten-free since June, 2011

Can't eat soy, corn, or foods high in salicylates.

Nightshades now seem to bother me too.

 

BUT I CAN STILL PLAY MY GUITAR AND THAT"S ALL THAT MATTERS!

 


#6 love2travel

 
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Posted 17 June 2012 - 01:00 PM

Oh, and don't forget the classic:

No, actually you WOULDN'T die if you had to give up bread!

YES!
  • 0
<p>Confirmed celiac disease February 2011 from biopsies. Strictly gluten free March 18 2011.Diagnosed with fibromyalgia April 13 2011.3 herniated discs, myofascial pain syndrome, IT band syndrome, 2 rotator cuff injuries - from an accident Dec. 07 - resulting in chronic pain ever since. Degenerative disc disease.Osteoarthritis in back and hips.Chronic insomnia mostly due to chronic pain.Aspartame free May 2011.

When our lives are squeezed by pressure and pain, what comes out is what is inside.

#7 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 17 June 2012 - 01:04 PM

Mine would say:

(1) No, you don't wish you could lose weight like I did, I almost died and can't you SEE this balding head?

(2) Celiac ain't for sissies and you can't handle it.

(3)Gluten is my kryptonite. So, no I can't have "just a little."

(4) Maybe I don't look so bad now, but you should feel it from IN HERE.

(5) I'm sorry, but your "tummy ache" does not make you understand AT ALL what I've been through.

(6) Pain? You are having some pain? I zoomed past pain and went straight to "Just kill me now" a long time ago.

(7) Yes, all your symptoms sound like a gluten issue. That will be $150. please.

(8) Honey, you might as well have Celiac written across your forehead. Here is my doctor's phone number. Call him.

(9) No, I don't miss gluteny bread. No I don't miss gluteny bagels. No, I don't miss gluteny donuts. WHY, you ask? Because I don't miss feeling like sh*t every day of my life.

(10) I have Celiac, not leprosy; you don't have to avoid me.

(11) If you could walk in my shoes for just one week, you would know why this is no easy road. You would know why I am a warrior princess.

(12) and this one, courtesy of my pal, the Sassy Celiactivist ( of "friends" who are not there for us anymore ) :

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best”.

:)
  • 5

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#8 dani nero

 
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Posted 17 June 2012 - 03:09 PM

1. No, you can't kill gluten by cooking it.

2. You can eat rice if you have celiac.

3. You don't have IBS, you have celiac, but you seem to also lack the ability to accept that.

4. Please don't feel sorry for me because I don't eat gluten, feel sorry for yourself because you can't imagine your life without it.

5. I'm tired because I haven't been fed for 20 years, so don't talk to me about will-power. I have more of that than 10 of you (deadbreadheads) put together.

6. I wish there was a machine that would allow others to feel what I'm feeling. Then I wouldn't have to explain my symptoms to walls every day.
  • 5
Self diagnosed January 2012, and on elimination, low-salicylate & low-iodine diet.
Also G6PD

#9 bartfull

 
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Posted 17 June 2012 - 03:17 PM

How about this one:

Just because I can't eat what you do doesn't mean I can't have a social life. So if you were thinking about NOT inviting me to your party, please think again.
  • 2

gluten-free since June, 2011

Can't eat soy, corn, or foods high in salicylates.

Nightshades now seem to bother me too.

 

BUT I CAN STILL PLAY MY GUITAR AND THAT"S ALL THAT MATTERS!

 


#10 Razzle Dazzle Brazell

 
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Posted 18 June 2012 - 01:13 PM

1. No, I am NOT making this up.

2. Yes, as a matter of fact, it DOES hurt.

3. If just the smell of peanuts can kill someone with a peanut allergy, why do you insist that a couple of gluten crumbs won't hurt me, a Celiac?

3. No, Celiac is not something one gets over eventually.

4. Yes, when it comes down to hurting your feelings because I can't eat your food, or being sick for weeks, your feelings are going to lose every time.

5. Have you been to Celiac.com? I think you need to go there and read because it sure sounds to ME like you too have Celiac.


I like the peanut one its a good point. Number four is perfectly straightforward
  • 1
Gluten and Oat Free 6/'12
Dairy, Corn and Yeast free 7/'12
Nightshade Free, Candida diet & low salicylates 8/'12
Nightshades and carbs and sugars limitedly reintroduced, most salicylates now tolerated 9/'12
No longer Reacting to yeasty breads 10/'12
Test confirmed yeast overgrowth, back on Candida diet 11/'12

You only get one life so make it count.

#11 Razzle Dazzle Brazell

 
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Posted 18 June 2012 - 01:19 PM

1. No, you can't kill gluten by cooking it.

2. You can eat rice if you have celiac.

3. You don't have IBS, you have celiac, but you seem to also lack the ability to accept that.

4. Please don't feel sorry for me because I don't eat gluten, feel sorry for yourself because you can't imagine your life without it.

5. I'm tired because I haven't been fed for 20 years, so don't talk to me about will-power. I have more of that than 10 of you (deadbreadheads) put together.

6. I wish there was a machine that would allow others to feel what I'm feeling. Then I wouldn't have to explain my symptoms to walls every day.


Lmbo! I love number four! That is great! Number one really! I cant believe someone asked that
  • 0
Gluten and Oat Free 6/'12
Dairy, Corn and Yeast free 7/'12
Nightshade Free, Candida diet & low salicylates 8/'12
Nightshades and carbs and sugars limitedly reintroduced, most salicylates now tolerated 9/'12
No longer Reacting to yeasty breads 10/'12
Test confirmed yeast overgrowth, back on Candida diet 11/'12

You only get one life so make it count.

#12 mushroom

 
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Posted 18 June 2012 - 01:34 PM

When you just simply can't hold your tongue :P

Riding the hospital elevator with a doctor, another doctor gets on and they start discussing first doc's leg and back problems.

First doc: "I'm trying to stay away from doctors."

Me (blurting): "I don't blame you.!! :lol:
  • 2
Neroli


"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." - Albert Einstein

"Life is not weathering the storm; it is learning to dance in the rain"

"Whatever the question, the answer is always chocolate." Nigella Lawson

------------

Caffeine free 1973
Lactose free 1990
(Mis)diagnosed IBS, fibromyalgia '80's and '90's
Diagnosed psoriatic arthritis 2004
Self-diagnosed gluten intolerant, gluten-free Nov. 2007
Soy free March 2008
Nightshade free Feb 2009
Citric acid free June 2009
Potato starch free July 2009
(Totally) corn free Nov. 2009
Legume free March 2010
Now tolerant of lactose

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#13 JNBunnie1

 
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Posted 18 June 2012 - 05:20 PM

When people tell me they would just DIE without their bread, I tell them I would just die WITH their bread.

Oh, and my favorite, "I wouldn't have any willpower, I would have to just suffer." Well, I guess you've never actually suffered, have you? No, childbirth doesn't count. Childbirth ENDS.
  • 2
If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

#14 JNBunnie1

 
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Posted 18 June 2012 - 05:22 PM

When people tell me they would just DIE without their bread, I tell them I would just die WITH their bread.

Oh, and my favorite, "I wouldn't have any willpower, I would have to just suffer." Well, I guess you've never actually suffered, have you? No, childbirth doesn't count. Childbirth ENDS.

Oh, also:
I was suffering, now I'm not. Shouldn't you be HAPPY?!?!?
  • 0
If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

#15 VydorScope

 
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Posted 18 June 2012 - 05:27 PM

(9) No, I don't miss gluteny bread. No I don't miss gluteny bagels. No, I don't miss gluteny donuts.



Heh, I wish this one was true! ANY food I have to drop, I miss AND crave LOL. :D But I love to eat... be my downfall one day for sure. :lol:
  • 0

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