Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

Just A Little Humor
0

19 posts in this topic

I think every celiac should carry, not just an emergency medical card, but a card called a "UDUMB" card. This stands for "U Dont Understand My Body" card. This card should have answers to frequently asked questions and comments that people make. It will make life simpler for every celiac and gluten intolerant. These cards should be highly customizable.

I think with all the times people ask me whats wrong with me and why I am not involved in activities like I once was or why I act like everyone' s food is poison, Mine would read:

1. You dont need a doctor to tell you chili gives you heartburn so why do I need a doctor to tell me gluten makes me ill?

2. I am not fat I just have a wheat belly.

3. I am not picky; it is just my immune system that is.

4. If celiac were contagious, one in every 130 americans would be in quarantine.

5. No there is not a beano pill for gluten.

:lol:

What would yours say?

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:

1. No, I am NOT making this up.

2. Yes, as a matter of fact, it DOES hurt.

3. If just the smell of peanuts can kill someone with a peanut allergy, why do you insist that a couple of gluten crumbs won't hurt me, a Celiac?

3. No, Celiac is not something one gets over eventually.

4. Yes, when it comes down to hurting your feelings because I can't eat your food, or being sick for weeks, your feelings are going to lose every time.

5. Have you been to Celiac.com? I think you need to go there and read because it sure sounds to ME like you too have Celiac.

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif What a riot Razzle! I love your sense of humor.

Just make mine say what yours does --- it's perfect.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In addition to what has been mentioned, mine would say, Of couse I am lucky to have celiac in order to lose weight! Lucky, lucky, lucky me to have chosen this disease. <_< And no, I cannot have just one piece of cake.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, and don't forget the classic:

No, actually you WOULDN'T die if you had to give up bread!

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites




Oh, and don't forget the classic:

No, actually you WOULDN'T die if you had to give up bread!

YES!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mine would say:

(1) No, you don't wish you could lose weight like I did, I almost died and can't you SEE this balding head?

(2) Celiac ain't for sissies and you can't handle it.

(3)Gluten is my kryptonite. So, no I can't have "just a little."

(4) Maybe I don't look so bad now, but you should feel it from IN HERE.

(5) I'm sorry, but your "tummy ache" does not make you understand AT ALL what I've been through.

(6) Pain? You are having some pain? I zoomed past pain and went straight to "Just kill me now" a long time ago.

(7) Yes, all your symptoms sound like a gluten issue. That will be $150. please.

(8) Honey, you might as well have Celiac written across your forehead. Here is my doctor's phone number. Call him.

(9) No, I don't miss gluteny bread. No I don't miss gluteny bagels. No, I don't miss gluteny donuts. WHY, you ask? Because I don't miss feeling like sh*t every day of my life.

(10) I have Celiac, not leprosy; you don't have to avoid me.

(11) If you could walk in my shoes for just one week, you would know why this is no easy road. You would know why I am a warrior princess.

(12) and this one, courtesy of my pal, the Sassy Celiactivist ( of "friends" who are not there for us anymore ) :

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best”.

:)

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1. No, you can't kill gluten by cooking it.

2. You can eat rice if you have celiac.

3. You don't have IBS, you have celiac, but you seem to also lack the ability to accept that.

4. Please don't feel sorry for me because I don't eat gluten, feel sorry for yourself because you can't imagine your life without it.

5. I'm tired because I haven't been fed for 20 years, so don't talk to me about will-power. I have more of that than 10 of you (deadbreadheads) put together.

6. I wish there was a machine that would allow others to feel what I'm feeling. Then I wouldn't have to explain my symptoms to walls every day.

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How about this one:

Just because I can't eat what you do doesn't mean I can't have a social life. So if you were thinking about NOT inviting me to your party, please think again.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1. No, I am NOT making this up.

2. Yes, as a matter of fact, it DOES hurt.

3. If just the smell of peanuts can kill someone with a peanut allergy, why do you insist that a couple of gluten crumbs won't hurt me, a Celiac?

3. No, Celiac is not something one gets over eventually.

4. Yes, when it comes down to hurting your feelings because I can't eat your food, or being sick for weeks, your feelings are going to lose every time.

5. Have you been to Celiac.com? I think you need to go there and read because it sure sounds to ME like you too have Celiac.

I like the peanut one its a good point. Number four is perfectly straightforward

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1. No, you can't kill gluten by cooking it.

2. You can eat rice if you have celiac.

3. You don't have IBS, you have celiac, but you seem to also lack the ability to accept that.

4. Please don't feel sorry for me because I don't eat gluten, feel sorry for yourself because you can't imagine your life without it.

5. I'm tired because I haven't been fed for 20 years, so don't talk to me about will-power. I have more of that than 10 of you (deadbreadheads) put together.

6. I wish there was a machine that would allow others to feel what I'm feeling. Then I wouldn't have to explain my symptoms to walls every day.

Lmbo! I love number four! That is great! Number one really! I cant believe someone asked that

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When you just simply can't hold your tongue :P

Riding the hospital elevator with a doctor, another doctor gets on and they start discussing first doc's leg and back problems.

First doc: "I'm trying to stay away from doctors."

Me (blurting): "I don't blame you.!! :lol:

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When people tell me they would just DIE without their bread, I tell them I would just die WITH their bread.

Oh, and my favorite, "I wouldn't have any willpower, I would have to just suffer." Well, I guess you've never actually suffered, have you? No, childbirth doesn't count. Childbirth ENDS.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When people tell me they would just DIE without their bread, I tell them I would just die WITH their bread.

Oh, and my favorite, "I wouldn't have any willpower, I would have to just suffer." Well, I guess you've never actually suffered, have you? No, childbirth doesn't count. Childbirth ENDS.

Oh, also:

I was suffering, now I'm not. Shouldn't you be HAPPY?!?!?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(9) No, I don't miss gluteny bread. No I don't miss gluteny bagels. No, I don't miss gluteny donuts.

Heh, I wish this one was true! ANY food I have to drop, I miss AND crave LOL. :D But I love to eat... be my downfall one day for sure. :lol:

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Heh, I wish this one was true! ANY food I have to drop, I miss AND crave LOL. :D But I love to eat... be my downfall one day for sure. :lol:

I think you missed my point.

Those foods almost killed me, <_< so no, I HONESTLY do not miss them at all. Honestly.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you missed my point.

Those foods almost killed me, <_< so no, I HONESTLY do not miss them at all. Honestly.

Oh,m I assume it is true for you, just not me.

I miss foods that make me sick. No joke. I really have a problem I know! :lol: :lol:

Oh... esply sugary stuff... wow, I could binge RIGHT NOW on [insert any bad food here], knowing that I will be puking within 2 hours if I am lucky, potentially in the hospital is more realistic. :P

Back on topic for this thread... my "card" would simple say something like..

My son, My wife, and I are all currently training for our black belts and see any attempt to give my son gluten as a personal threat to his life. Therefor we will react with all necessary force to prevent it. If that is not clear, picture my boot slamming into your nose, at high velocity.

Its a bit long though, so I guess I will trim it.

Got Gluten for my son? Better have good insurance.

:D

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When people tell me they would just DIE without their bread, I tell them I would just die WITH their bread.

Oh, and my favorite, "I wouldn't have any willpower, I would have to just suffer." Well, I guess you've never actually suffered, have you? No, childbirth doesn't count. Childbirth ENDS.

Hahaha awesome!! And you're right! They obviously haven't suffered otherwise they'd have never uttered those words, and agreed, child birth doesn't count! I don't care how many times you've done it! ;)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like the peanut one its a good point. Number four is perfectly straightforward

I AM THE QUEEN OF #4 hahaha I used to apologize about it, but not anymore. My health is worth ALOT more than that to me. People will get over it, and of they're really your friends they won't let it hurt their feelings, THEY'll understand..... ;-D

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      104,120
    • Total Posts
      919,468
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Hi Alok, I suggest not eating any soy.  Soy is one of the top 8 food allergens in the USA.  Soy has other things about it that are not helpful to us.  Plus it is often sprayed with pesticides that are not so great for people.  Maybe you can try some other food for a while?  Also it might help to wash all your vegetables before using them. Just some ideas, I hope they help.
    • What she said!     The antibody panel is an important part of follow-up!
    • I have Celiac, Hashi's thyroid disease, Sjogren's Syndrome and Reynaud's Syndrome.  All have gotten better, inflammation wise, after 11 years gluten free.  I am very strict with my diet, never take chances if I feel the food is not really gluten free and limit the number of times I go out to eat.  I am not saying I never go out but it is normal for my husband and I to not see the inside of a restaurant for 3-4 months at a time and then I only eat at the places that have never glutened me.  I am lucky in that the state I live in has 3 restaurant chains that are run/owned by Celiac's, so they get it right every time. You have not been gluten free for very long, in reality.  It took me three years to completely rid myself of all symptoms related to the disease.  I was 46 at the time of diagnosis.  I know it is hard to accept that healing can take that long but you have to measure it differently.  Looking back, you should feel better than you did a year ago.  As time goes on, healing slowly takes place until you realize that certain problems have disappeared.  It is not as cut and dried as taking an antibiotic for an infection. http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART03424/Elevated-Creactive-Protein-CRP.html  Read this article on elevated c reactive protein. It is by Dr. Weil, who is a Harvard trained physician who chose to go the more natural route to healing people.  All his stuff is interesting.  Yes, your elevated level will most likely come down, as you heal better.  Pay attention to it but don't let it freak you out too much! 
    • Hi Calla, I think the safe answer is 12 weeks on gluten for a blood test.  I am pretty sure they say 2 weeks on gluten for the gut endoscopy.  But usually people/doctors don't want to  do an endoscopy before a positive blood test, so catch 22 there. There's a chance you still have active antibodies in your blood after 3 weeks off gluten.  But nobody can tell you for sure.  If you can get you doctor to test you now and in 9 more weeks if you are negative now, that might work.  If the doctor is willing to do 2 tests, that would be great. The best thing would have been to do all celiac disease testing before going gluten-free.  But sometimes it doesn't work out that way. The University of Chicago celiac center has an FAQ that answers some of your questions. http://www.cureceliacdisease.org/faq/i-dont-have-the-money-to-get-tested-for-celiac-disease-but-a-gluten-free-diet-makes-me-feel-better-is-it-okay-to-start-the-diet-without-being-diagnosed/ Welcome to the forum!  
    • Couldn't have said it better!  
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      61,159
    • Most Online
      1,763

    Newest Member
    Anns
    Joined