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The Tale Of The Lemon Bars


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#1 IrishHeart

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 01:28 PM

So, I made some lemon bars for my MT Elaine's sister (who is visiting her this week.)
She can never get good gluten-free bakery items where she lives.
In all my years of baking, I have never made these,
but I know Elaine loves them and she is so good to me. Her sister is also lactose intolerant, so no dairy.

okay, no problemo.... what can I use for a  non-dairy alternative for butter in the crust?
I'll  ask those in the know, I figure.
I use lard in pie crusts, but someone who has made these bars says, that will not work.
Use margarine, someone else suggests. Okee dokee.

Hubs buys it, and I  read the label as I am about to make them, just to make sure and, damn!

Did you all know that margarine has milk in it? me neither.

Okay, sooo, we return the margarine.

Sunday, I go out and find Earth Balance sticks. (yuck--canola oil blend) I hate that taste.
I had to use that crap when I was dairy free for 10 months right after DX.

Blech, blech, blech. It makes me wanna hurl, but hey, it's not me eating them and so, I use that.

They come out okay, look okay, nice and lemony !!  and except for
that "taste", they seem worthy of giving to someone as a gift.

Dust with powdered sugar on Monday morning before I leave and they'll be great.

This morning,,,,Um, no powdered sugar? whattaya mean? I had a whole bag of it.....

ooooo and I used it at Easter in the cream cheese frosting.  ( :angry: insert MEGA swear words here)

Crappers! I have to bring them over this morning,when I have PT, so  now what?

I know, stop at Wally world on the way in and buy some.
Brilliant, eh?

yeah, well,  I wish you could have seen me sifting powdered sugar over them in the car in the parking lot.

I brought a mesh strainer and a spoon with me and did it right in the backseat. I know, I'm a whacko but I'm adept at back seat maneuvers and I am a determined sort.

If I am going to make these damn things, I'm making them the right way--with powdered sugar on them.

It was tricky, but I did it. Hardly any mess, well..

I did get some on my pants.

and shoes.
and on the car seat.
and the car floor.
and the door.
and on hub's shirt
which is interesting since he was in the FRONT seat. :blink:


and I am pretty sure I even got a little up my nose.

Those suckers had better taste good. I have this image of her sister tasting one and spitting  it across the room saying
"Blech! what the hell? She used Earth Balance!! I hate that crap!!"

and giving them to Elaine's dog, Grover  (who will promptly spit them out because he probably doesn't like powdered sugar :rolleyes: )
  • 1

 "Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

 

"It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity, faith and security." Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."
Lao Tzu

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

 

 

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; finally DXed on 11/01/10. I figured it out myself. Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.

I. Win.  bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

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#2 bartfull

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 01:39 PM

IH, I am not even in the least bit interested in lemon bars, but when I saw that YOU were the one who started this thread I had to read it. I KNEW I'd get a good laugh out of it and I was right.

Now, tell us more about being adept at backseat maneuvers...um, on secong thought, never mind. :lol:
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#3 kareng

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    Something seems a bit fishy!

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 01:42 PM

"Now, tell us more about being adept at backseat maneuvers...um, on secong thought, never mind. :lol:"



You posted this while I was trying to eliminate all that nonsense about the lemon bars to get to the real important part! :D
  • 1

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party"  - Ron White
 

""I like the cover," he said. "Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day."
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

 

 

“Life may not be the party that we hoped for…But while we’re here, we should dance.”

 

 

 

smiley-dance006.gif

 

 


#4 IrishHeart

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 02:14 PM

okay, what I meant was....I was the baby of the family with 2 siblings.

I had to sit in the MIDDLE of the back seat and my feet rested on the "hump"...is anyone old enough to recall that "thing" in the floor of the back seat??? (the drive shaft went through it, my car geek hubs tells me)

and I could also climb back and forth to sit between my Mom and Daddy with ease, like a monkey.

You know, in the olden days--- before seat belts?


UM, ladies......what did YOU think I meant? :huh:
  • 1

 "Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

 

"It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity, faith and security." Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."
Lao Tzu

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

 

 

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; finally DXed on 11/01/10. I figured it out myself. Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.

I. Win.  bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator


#5 IrishHeart

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 02:16 PM

hehehe.... did I 'splain myself well enough to convince you THAT was what I meant? :lol:
  • 1

 "Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

 

"It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity, faith and security." Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."
Lao Tzu

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

 

 

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; finally DXed on 11/01/10. I figured it out myself. Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.

I. Win.  bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator


#6 JNBunnie1

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 02:18 PM

okay, what I meant was....I was the baby of the family with 2 siblings.

I had to sit in the MIDDLE of the back seat and my feet rested on the "hump"...is anyone old enough to recall that "thing" in the floor of the back seat??? (the drive shaft went through it, my car geek hubs tells me)

and I could also climb back and forth to sit between my Mom and Daddy with ease, like a monkey.

You know, in the olden days--- before seat belts?


UM, ladies......what did YOU think I meant? :huh:


I thought you meant having to go potty in the backseat on road trips and getting food out of the cooler... what else? ;)


(Also, you might try palm oil shortening next time you have to bake dairy free, it tastes good.)<--(whisper)
  • 0
If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

#7 kareng

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    Something seems a bit fishy!

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 02:20 PM

hehehe.... did I 'splain myself well enough to convince you THAT was what I meant? :lol:



Nope. B)
  • 1

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party"  - Ron White
 

""I like the cover," he said. "Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day."
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

 

 

“Life may not be the party that we hoped for…But while we’re here, we should dance.”

 

 

 

smiley-dance006.gif

 

 


#8 Bubba's Mom

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 02:22 PM

okay, what I meant was....I was the baby of the family with 2 siblings.

I had to sit in the MIDDLE of the back seat and my feet rested on the "hump"...is anyone old enough to recall that "thing" in the floor of the back seat??? (the drive shaft went through it, my car geek hubs tells me)

and I could also climb back and forth to sit between my Mom and Daddy with ease, like a monkey.

You know, in the olden days--- before seat belts?


UM, ladies......what did YOU think I meant? :huh:

I'm a middle child hump sitter too! LOL
I have to admit when you said you were good at back seat manuevers my mind went to a different place than "hump sitting' and wriggling between front and back seats. ;)

I applaud your sheer determination, and I'm sure those lemon bars are delicious. With all of the love you put into them they had to be good? :D

I can just picture you there in the parking lot..with your powdered sugar and tools..like an epsode of "I Love Lucy". Bless your Irish Heart. :lol:
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#9 mommida

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 02:22 PM

Well I remember a few makes and models of automobiles. :ph34r: :rolleyes:
I do remember that hump thing (as described by IH too).
Adding lemon bars to the some of the images in my mind... :lol: ;) Powdered sugar!!? right
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Michigan

#10 IrishHeart

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 02:32 PM

Well I remember a few makes and models of automobiles. :ph34r: :rolleyes:
I do remember that hump thing (as described by IH too).
Adding lemon bars to the some of the images in my mind... :lol: ;) Powdered sugar!!? right



;)


TODAY, I assure you, it was powdered sugar.
  • 1

 "Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

 

"It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity, faith and security." Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."
Lao Tzu

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

 

 

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; finally DXed on 11/01/10. I figured it out myself. Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.

I. Win.  bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator


#11 IrishHeart

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 02:34 PM

I can just picture you there in the parking lot..with your powdered sugar and tools..like an epsode of "I Love Lucy". Bless your Irish Heart. :lol:


Thanks, BM--I knew someone would get the HUMP thing! :) XXOO

I FELT like Lucy ....and hubs often says to me "....you've got some "splainin to do....."
  • 1

 "Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

 

"It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity, faith and security." Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."
Lao Tzu

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

 

 

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; finally DXed on 11/01/10. I figured it out myself. Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.

I. Win.  bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator


#12 IrishHeart

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 02:35 PM

Nope. B)



:unsure: huh? waa? huh???
  • 1

 "Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

 

"It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity, faith and security." Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."
Lao Tzu

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

 

 

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; finally DXed on 11/01/10. I figured it out myself. Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.

I. Win.  bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator


#13 IrishHeart

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 02:39 PM

I thought you meant having to go potty in the backseat on road trips and getting food out of the cooler... what else? ;)


(Also, you might try palm oil shortening next time you have to bake dairy free, it tastes good.)<--(whisper)


You know what? you are so adorable, I want to adopt you. :)

I DID have to get the food out of the cooler and unwrap the sammies for everyone, too. (those were BIG back seats back then)

I have palm oil shortening right here, toots!

(Iffen I had yer email yesterday, you'd have 'tole me this,.... but then I would have had no escapade to talk about )
  • 1

 "Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

 

"It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity, faith and security." Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."
Lao Tzu

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

 

 

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; finally DXed on 11/01/10. I figured it out myself. Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.

I. Win.  bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator


#14 squirmingitch

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 03:21 PM

Methinks when you were little were not the only escapades you had climbing back & forth to the backseat nor performing hump sitting maneuvers megal. Nah, you ain't got me fooled fer one darn minute thar. Irish gals be wild young uns I be told.Posted ImagePosted Image
  • 1
Self diagnosed dh Sept. 2011~~~ confirmed dx July 18, 2012
Gluten free Dec. 2011
Soy free Dec. 2011
Hubs self diagnosed dh March 30, 2012
Hubs gluten free March 30, 2012

#15 JNBunnie1

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 03:23 PM

You know what? you are so adorable, I want to adopt you. :)

I DID have to get the food out of the cooler and unwrap the sammies for everyone, too. (those were BIG back seats back then)

I have palm oil shortening right here, toots!

(Iffen I had yer email yesterday, you'd have 'tole me this,.... but then I would have had no escapade to talk about )

Well, I already have like 3 mamas and I don't know how many grammas but there's plenty of me to go around. B)

I was always on cooler duty too! I had to train hubby- If I'm driving, you have to retrieve and present the food. Took some time, but we have it down now...
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If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill


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