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Reception Dinner Etiquette


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23 replies to this topic

#1 Songbirdy

 
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Posted 24 July 2012 - 04:24 PM

I'm still at the 'pre-diagnosis stage so I feel unsure how to approach this upcoming wedding we are attending.

I have debated calling the bride and telling her not to order me a dinner because I'll bring my own food.

I have then felt she would likely try to accommodate me and I just don't trust wedding hall staff. There are too many variables and I wouldn't be talking with them myself.

So then I switch back to saying nothing and risking some odd moments at the reception.

And around it goes.

I find that not having a diagnosis yet but sure of the need for Gluten-Free eating is a bit awkward.

How have you handled situations like this? What seems appropriate? Also, I know about the need to eat gluten for testing, I wrote about my situation elsewhere so you don't need to cover. That here, lol, thanks if it occurred to mention it though!
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#2 GFreeMO

 
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Posted 24 July 2012 - 05:15 PM

I would just go and bring my own food and not mention it to anyone. No one will notice what you are eating. I've done things like this several times.
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#3 FruitEnthusiast

 
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Posted 24 July 2012 - 05:18 PM

I say bring your own food to the wedding, and when the meal comes, a hungry guy will gladly eat it for you, in addition to his own meal :)

I am gluten intolerant, and my blood test came back negative, but I'm still feeling sick after four months eating gluten free. If you know gluten makes you sick, then eating gluten free to get well is just as important whether or not you test positive.
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Sara  :)   "This life is a test. It is only a test. If it had been an actual life, you would

                             have received further instructions on where to go and what to do"

 

"If you're going through hell, keep going" :) Winston Churchill
************************************
Histamine Intolerant  Apr 2014

N C Gluten Intolerant dx Feb 2012  Also Intolerant to Rice, Eggs, Nightshades.
Gluten-Free/ Grain-free/ only whole foods prepared at home since  March 2012
Dairy, Soy, Chocolate free since Jan 2012   Sensitive to Corn and Mold since 1995
 


#4 ~**caselynn**~

 
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Posted 24 July 2012 - 05:33 PM

I say bring your own food to the wedding, and when the meal comes, a hungry guy will gladly eat it for you, in addition to his own meal :).


Yup, this is exactly right! Haha I always bring my own and my guy friends count on it! Meaning they know they are going to get my dinner/cake everytime! Even at work when we celebrate birthdays two of my coworkers always try to see who is going to get "my" piece of cake haha works for me!
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~**caselynn**~

#5 Songbirdy

 
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Posted 24 July 2012 - 06:44 PM

Thanks everyone!
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#6 Chad Sines

 
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Posted 24 July 2012 - 07:14 PM

I think we often over think these issues. No one really usually cares if you eat at a meal, eat a salad only, or bring your food. The less we make a deal of it, the less people will even notice. Just do what you think you should do on that day and enjoy.
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#7 cap6

 
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Posted 24 July 2012 - 08:15 PM

When they bring the meals just smile and ask for an extra plate then pour your own food out on it. Honestly, everyone is so busy scarfing up their own food that they don't pay attention to you. And if they do, just tell them you have a severe food allergy, smile, and continue with eating. Most people don't even pay attention. I learned that the hard way after sweating my way through many social situations. It will get easier. Honest.
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#8 Skylark

 
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Posted 24 July 2012 - 09:41 PM

Last time I went to a wedding the bride was a close friend. She gave me the number of the caterer and it was easy to call and arrange a gluten-free plate at the reception. I skipped the cake. :)
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#9 GottaSki

 
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Posted 24 July 2012 - 09:43 PM

Ditto all of the others comments....no need to mention and there is always someone happy to eat my portion!

I did have one bride insist on ordering me a gluten free meal because she went thru the whole diagnosis learning curve with me -- but I still brought my own food -- just in case as I have had a some great experiences with caterers and some horrid ones - not worth the risk.
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-Lisa

Undiagnosed Celiac Disease ~ 43 years

3/26/09 gluten-free - dignosed celiac - blood 3/3/09, biopsy 3/26/09, double DQ2 / single DQ8 positive

10/25/13 - MCAD

Health history since celiac diagnosis became too long -- moved to the "about me" section of my profile

My children and I all have multiple copies of the genes for Celiac Disease, along with large variety of symptoms/resolution gluten-free

Current tally from me, three kids and two grands: 4 diagnosed with Celiac Disease, 2 NCGS

Get PROPERLY tested BEFORE REMOVING GLUTEN.

ALWAYS independently research health related information found on internet forums/blogs.

"LTES" a Gem :)


#10 Juliebove

 
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Posted 24 July 2012 - 11:33 PM

Gluten is not an issue for me but I do have food intolerances, diabetes and other medical problems that are taken care of by diet. In a case like that I would just bring my own food. If anyone asked I would just say that I am on a special diet.
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#11 Cara in Boston

 
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Posted 25 July 2012 - 03:25 AM

We were recently at a wedding as a family and I brought dinner for both me and my younger son. I was worried about the awkward moment when the food was served, but it was no big deal. No one hardly noticed. I did make our meals match as much as possible.

I let the bride know in advance - saved them $300 by not having two additional plates served that were not needed.

I have the "MR. BENTO" food jar (amazon) and it is amazing. Compact and sleek, and it keeps food hot, hot, hot for hours.

Cara
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#12 StephanieL

 
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Posted 25 July 2012 - 05:06 AM

I don't agree with bringing in a meal. I wouldn't want someone bringing in a smelly sandwich or something and ruining the dining experience for others. I choose to inform them that we'll "make an appearance but don't order a meal for us" before hand. It is VERY expensive for these things! We eat before at home or the hotel or a safe restaurant before and show up later in the evening. I may bring cake for the kids to have if there will be some at the event but as it isn't necessary for cake, I don't bring my own.
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#13 sandsurfgirl

 
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Posted 25 July 2012 - 09:25 AM

Banquet type facilities always do the best job of accomodating celiac! If I'm going to an event, I don't bother the host, bride, or whatever. I call the facility myself and tell them the event and what my needs are. Then when I arrive, I discreetly ask to speak to whoever is in charge and double check on my meal. I was a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding, got a great gluten free meal and my sister never heard one word about it. Then when the server of my table comes by I also check in about my gluten free meal.

I do bring back up food just in case something goes wrong. I have a pretty purse that's really a cooler in disguise. For men there are backpacks that are coolers.

My dad's funeral is Thursday and it's being held at the American Legion. That is one place I'm not comfortable with, so for that I'm bringing food for me and my celiac son. But otherwise, CALL them! They will be happy to take care of you.
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Lots of doctors diagnosed me with lots of things including IBS, lactose intolerance, wheat intolerance, and quite a few of them threw up their hands in total confusion.

Had GI symptoms, allergy symptoms and unexplained illness my whole life.

Jan. 2010 Diagnosed celiac at the age of 40.
Ready to get well and get on with my life!

#14 bartfull

 
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Posted 25 July 2012 - 11:38 AM

I agree that meals are expensive, and that you should tell the bride you have food allergies and cannot eat the meal provided. Tell her you would RATHER bring your own, that you are used to it, and that the meal is not the reason you will be attending anyway. You are attending to share the day with the happy couple, and that's what matters.
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gluten-free since June, 2011

Can't eat soy, corn, or foods high in salicylates.

Nightshades now seem to bother me too.

 

BUT I CAN STILL PLAY MY GUITAR AND THAT"S ALL THAT MATTERS!

 


#15 Songbirdy

 
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Posted 25 July 2012 - 05:51 PM

Lots to consider.

This is an outdoor wedding with the reception at a legion hall a day's travel away. I simply will not call or trust them.

I also know for a fact that the plate cost is included in the hall rental fee. As in it is a set rate per guest. So they'll be paying x fee no matter what.

In this situation I am going to leave it at not calling but appreciate the added insights as they will help down the road.

As a formerly paid Chef, I will also ensure that I bring something other than a smelly sandwich to prevent turning other guest's stomachs :lol: ;) and will do my best to keep my cupcake dessert more simple so as to avoid out-shining the wedding cake. B)
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