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Just A Little Vent But Advice Would Be Apprciated


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22 replies to this topic

#16 pricklypear1971

 
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Posted 22 August 2012 - 02:09 PM

My son just finally stopped Pre-empting every snack given to his friends with "it's gluten-free because my mom is allergic".

The first 9 months or so brought lots of eye rolling from him...and more than a few nasty remarks.

One of his friends, whom I adore, eats everything I give him and says its delicious. I love that child.

But, to both his credit and hubs neither one came unhinged in the Las Vegas airport in our futile attempt to find a gluten-free meal. But I did - felt horribly guilty, not to mention panicked by feeling "trapped without food".

Anyway, most people have no idea what being gluten-free entails not to mention other F's - and ignorance and rudeness abound. Mostly I've found, it's ignorance. At this point I figure it's payback because I'm sure I've had my dumb and rude moments...I like to think I'm learning more than gluten-free.

I have a hard time making new friends. My mom thinks I should go into a field needing security clearances because according to her, I am NOT forthcoming and keep about twenty walls up.

Anyhoo - you do have to appreciate the changes gluten-free forces on you and those close to you. I don't think it's fair to act like it isn't a PITA sometimes. I think it does complicate relationships - or has the potential to. It probably also exacerbates the weaknesses...especially if the people involved can't meet in the middle and work on it.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. ~ Mark Twain

Probable Endometriosis, in remission from childbirth since 2002.
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DH (and therefore Celiac) dx from ND
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Genetic tests reveal half DQ2, half DQ8 - I'm a weird bird!

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#17 justlisa

 
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Posted 22 August 2012 - 02:52 PM

My son just finally stopped Pre-empting every snack given to his friends with "it's gluten-free because my mom is allergic".

The first 9 months or so brought lots of eye rolling from him...and more than a few nasty remarks.

One of his friends, whom I adore, eats everything I give him and says its delicious. I love that child.

But, to both his credit and hubs neither one came unhinged in the Las Vegas airport in our futile attempt to find a gluten-free meal. But I did - felt horribly guilty, not to mention panicked by feeling "trapped without food".

Anyway, most people have no idea what being gluten-free entails not to mention other F's - and ignorance and rudeness abound. Mostly I've found, it's ignorance. At this point I figure it's payback because I'm sure I've had my dumb and rude moments...I like to think I'm learning more than gluten-free.

I have a hard time making new friends. My mom thinks I should go into a field needing security clearances because according to her, I am NOT forthcoming and keep about twenty walls up.

Anyhoo - you do have to appreciate the changes gluten-free forces on you and those close to you. I don't think it's fair to act like it isn't a PITA sometimes. I think it does complicate relationships - or has the potential to. It probably also exacerbates the weaknesses...especially if the people involved can't meet in the middle and work on it.


Well said...

My 17 yr old son is that kid that other mothers love... They could be cutting out a kidney and he'd just smile and ask if they need the other. But...for mom? Sigh...

I tell him, almost daily, that there's a reason God makes mothers love their kids... I so love 17... ;)
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#18 ~**caselynn**~

 
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Posted 22 August 2012 - 03:26 PM

All I'm trying to say is... Don't take any crap, but don't be the one giving it either. Know your worth...


Yay!! You nailed it girl!! :😃😃😃😃
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~**caselynn**~

#19 moose07

 
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Posted 22 August 2012 - 04:08 PM

Thanks for the replies, it really helps hearing other peoples persectives.

Justlisa, I agree with you. I try as hard as I can to make my celiacs a non issue. Sometimes though some things are just not avoidable, for example what started his thinking was that I wouldn't kiss him goodbye one night because he has just eaten a pizza. I didn't want to risk it and he was not happy about it. I get that it sucks but what am I suppose to do? Again, I get your point and I try hard as I can to make my food issues a non issue with others but I can't accomidate everything.
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#20 justlisa

 
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Posted 22 August 2012 - 05:01 PM

Thanks for the replies, it really helps hearing other peoples persectives.

Justlisa, I agree with you. I try as hard as I can to make my celiacs a non issue. Sometimes though some things are just not avoidable, for example what started his thinking was that I wouldn't kiss him goodbye one night because he has just eaten a pizza. I didn't want to risk it and he was not happy about it. I get that it sucks but what am I suppose to do? Again, I get your point and I try hard as I can to make my food issues a non issue with others but I can't accomidate everything.



That's all that you can do, honey...is try. :)

For what it's worth...move forward. Does he sound like someone you'd want to be committed to? Someone you'd want/need to rely on?

I know it's hard to see when you are the one involved...and it is sooo much easier for everyone else... But...is that what you want?

Ask yourself.. honestly... If this was your sister, your brother, your mother, your best friend...what would you tell her/him about this relationship? Would you feel that he/she deserved better...more? You don't have to tell us...tell yourself.

No matter "what" the "excuse" is for the end of a relationship...doesn't matter. Quite often, "something" was missing. It doesn't even matter which side carries the lion's share of the "blame". It just "is". And, moving forward is all you can do.

I hope you can surround yourself with good people...ones you deserve and who deserve you.
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#21 notme!

 
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Posted 23 August 2012 - 07:56 AM

But, to both his credit and hubs neither one came unhinged in the Las Vegas airport in our futile attempt to find a gluten-free meal. But I did - felt horribly guilty, not to mention panicked by feeling "trapped without food".


DITTO! except stuck in el paso airport (after already turning in our rental) and facing a layover in dfw that the airline put us up in a hotel at the wee hours of the morning! after learning that trying to find a gluten-free meal (me: do you have anything that is gluten free? hostess: blank stare - deer in the headlights - ima take that as a 'no') was a futile effort. i had a half sandwich - turkey and mayo on udi's - that i rationed for a day - got ice in a cup with a lid and kept it cold lolol. and some chex and cashews. but let me tell you (well, you already know): when you have no eating options, it SUCKS!! also, it makes me immediately *starving* to death!!

today, i'm packing for a trip to bristol (NASCAR, BABY) check it: my kid got us all *skybox* tickets - SKYBOX!!!!! completely catered and al cohol in cluded. and i can't get anybody to tell me if i can bring my own food/if they have anything i can eat/if they have wine or redbridge and you are not allowed (normally) to bring ANYTHING in (like a cooler) - called everybody - nobody called me back....

this will also be my first race gluten-free. it's always been: anything goes (you know, within reason)

i can find a seat downstairs, outside of the SKYBOX and bring anything i want except glass bottles. my friends and family (ok, not my husband but i wish he would) are going to leave me in the dirt. and i don't blame them :(

so, my plan is: bring the cooler w/my stuff and make friends with security :)

geronimo!!!!!!!! :D
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arlene

misdiagnosed for 25 years!
just as i was getting my affairs in order to die of malnutrition...
gluten free 7/2010
blood test negative
celiac confirmed by endoscopy 9/2010

 

only YOU can prevent forest fires - smokey t. bear

 

have a nice day :)

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator


#22 kareng

 
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Posted 23 August 2012 - 08:24 AM

DITTO! except stuck in el paso airport (after already turning in our rental) and facing a layover in dfw that the airline put us up in a hotel at the wee hours of the morning! after learning that trying to find a gluten-free meal (me: do you have anything that is gluten free? hostess: blank stare - deer in the headlights - ima take that as a 'no') was a futile effort. i had a half sandwich - turkey and mayo on udi's - that i rationed for a day - got ice in a cup with a lid and kept it cold lolol. and some chex and cashews. but let me tell you (well, you already know): when you have no eating options, it SUCKS!! also, it makes me immediately *starving* to death!!

today, i'm packing for a trip to bristol (NASCAR, BABY) check it: my kid got us all *skybox* tickets - SKYBOX!!!!! completely catered and al cohol in cluded. and i can't get anybody to tell me if i can bring my own food/if they have anything i can eat/if they have wine or redbridge and you are not allowed (normally) to bring ANYTHING in (like a cooler) - called everybody - nobody called me back....

this will also be my first race gluten-free. it's always been: anything goes (you know, within reason)

i can find a seat downstairs, outside of the SKYBOX and bring anything i want except glass bottles. my friends and family (ok, not my husband but i wish he would) are going to leave me in the dirt. and i don't blame them :(

so, my plan is: bring the cooler w/my stuff and make friends with security :)

geronimo!!!!!!!! :D


Do you have a doctor's note? I flash my doctor's note. Well...actually, just saying I have one and rummaging for it, usually does the trick. I know its in my wallet somewhere.

If food is allowed in the main area, you can probably bring it to the suites. Make it as small as posible. Maybe a large purse? Don't bring a drink as it takes up space and they will have drinks in the box.
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#23 notme!

 
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Posted 23 August 2012 - 09:19 AM

i actually *do* have a note :)

finally, i got hold of somebody who was helpful (can you put stuff in your pockets or your purse is what they told me lolz) i can bring a little backpack instead of my purse. NO COOLERS but insulated backpack? evidently, there's a little wiggle room there - YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

smiling alot and wearing a short skirt to obtain free gluten-free alcohol :D
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arlene

misdiagnosed for 25 years!
just as i was getting my affairs in order to die of malnutrition...
gluten free 7/2010
blood test negative
celiac confirmed by endoscopy 9/2010

 

only YOU can prevent forest fires - smokey t. bear

 

have a nice day :)

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator





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