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Funny Things That Happened To Me Along The Way


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24 replies to this topic

#1 Finally@45

 
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Posted 28 August 2012 - 01:00 PM

I just reached my 1 year anniversary. I thought I'd share a few funny things that happened. I have teens who were with me on many of these events, so you can imagine the number of times I've reheard the stories with rolls of laughter.

1. Me: Do you have a gluten-free menu?
Waitress: No, we don't charge for you to see the menu.

2. Me: Would you happen to have an ingredient or allergen list for your products?
Waiter: Such as...
Me: You know, like when a person is allergic to peanuts or wheat...
Waiter: Oh you want to know if we have oats in our food?
(I never figured this one out, we assumed he must have had someone before me who asked about oats and wheat in the same question.)

3. Co-worker: Please have some brownies.
Me: No thanks.
Co-worker: Oh I insist, everyone says they're good.
Me: No, I eat gluten-free, I'll have to pass.
Co-worker: Oh no, no, they're low calorie brownies.

4. Family member: What is celiac?
[I answered the question]
Family member: Does that mean you can't eat meat?

5. Family member: So what DO you eat?
[I answered the question with emphasis on unprocessed meat, vegetables, fruit, yogurt, rice, potatoes, and so on.]
Family member: What store do you go to..cause I don't eat any of those things....

6. Another family member chimes in: Oh I see gluten-free products at the store all of the time.
Me: Yes, times have gotten better for Celiacs.
Family member: You mean this has been going on for years?

7. Family member: Did you get the kids tested too?
Me: Yes... they don't have it.
Family member: Thank God, they can be normal.

8. Me: [In MoMs Organic Market asking for gluten-free lip gloss]
Clerk: I'm glad I could help. Someone else came in here looking for gluten-free products... if you don't mind... what happens if you eat gluten?
Me: [I gave some symptoms, but emphasized everyone can have different experiences.]
Clerk: Does that mean you could kiss someone and give it to them?

9: Me: [In Bare Minerals, mentioning that it's nice to know their entire product line is gluten-free.]
Clerk: Oh you have cancer?! We get a lot of cancer patients.

10: And the mother of them all-
Me: I'll take the burger with no bun from the gluten-free menu. [and I pointed at it]
Waiter: Ok, that'll be a burger.
Me: From the gluten-free menu right?
Waiter: Oh yeah sure.
[The burger comes out on a bun.]
Me: I don't think this is gluten-free.
Waiter: It is...
[He ends up getting the manager.]
Manager: Is there a problem with your gluten-free burger?
Me: Yes, it's on bread.
Manager: [Whips it away, has the cook start over.]
Waiter: Sorry about that, I thought gluten was lettuce or something.
  • 3

Celiac & Mastocytosis

Follows a diet similar to the Paleo diet, minus high-histamine items such as

avocadoes, mangoes, papaya, berries, pork, farm-raised fish, spinach, and seeds.

No eggs or red meat either.

 


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#2 GottaSki

 
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Posted 28 August 2012 - 01:07 PM

Congratulations on your one year anniversary!

and thanks for the giggles

I've had a very similar experience to all of these and I'd guess we are not alone ;)
  • 0

-Lisa

Undiagnosed Celiac Disease ~ 43 years

3/26/09 gluten-free - dignosed celiac - blood 3/3/09, biopsy 3/26/09, double DQ2 / single DQ8 positive

10/25/13 - MCAD

Health history since celiac diagnosis became too long -- moved to the "about me" section of my profile

My children and I all have multiple copies of the genes for Celiac Disease, along with large variety of symptoms/resolution gluten-free

Current tally from me, three kids and two grands: 4 diagnosed with Celiac Disease, 2 NCGS

Get PROPERLY tested BEFORE REMOVING GLUTEN.

ALWAYS independently research health related information found on internet forums/blogs.

"LTES" a Gem :)


#3 gatita

 
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Posted 28 August 2012 - 02:05 PM

These are hilarious, thanks!
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Diagnosed with wheat hates me 4/13


#4 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 28 August 2012 - 02:08 PM

These are great!

My fav: "Thank God, they can be normal."

(? nothing quite like a back-handed compliment?) :lol:


I hope you answered with a big smile and a "Oh gosh, yes, I am so grateful! One of us abnormals in the house is plenty."


Fantastic recollections of your first year--thanks so much for sharing. Laughing my butt off here.

and I'm loving your sig line:

"Just enough Irish genes to put up a fight and beat all of the above."

I hear ya, sister. ;)
  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#5 1974girl

 
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Posted 28 August 2012 - 02:16 PM

Man I am sad. We have been doing this 9 months and I have not had any of those hilarious things! I needed that! I do have people ask what gluten is and stuff but nothing that funny! Thanks!
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#6 Persei V.

 
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Posted 28 August 2012 - 02:46 PM

"Can you eat pasta?"
"No."
"So do you want a slice of cake, some cookies, I don't know, something?"

True story,
  • 0
Lactose free: 8/6/2006
Gluten and dairy free: 5/2/2012
Grain free: 11/12/2012

I am able to eat somre processed foods again (chocolate, lollipops, soysauce).

#7 GFreeinFL

 
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Posted 28 August 2012 - 06:06 PM

Congrats on your anniversary! I loved reading your list, as it reminded me of conversations I've had as well. The most common reaction I get once I explain what I cannot eat is, "what about bread? pasta? bagels?" "I don't know how you could live without bread!" Guess it's hard to imagine being from NY and not enjoying pizza or bagels!
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#8 1desperateladysaved

 
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Posted 28 August 2012 - 06:59 PM

ha ha HA!

Diana
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#9 Finally@45

 
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Posted 29 August 2012 - 07:39 AM

Yes, I think it's a sign that nutrition should always be a required part of high school health! It's amazing how many people don't really understand food groups, not to mention food sensitivities. A lot of these folks were youngsters. No wonder the country isn't eating right.

I also eat at a lot of ethnic food (especially those with curried sauces, which are normally coconut cream based.) where some of the employees have limited English. I have had some funny times with them also, but I excuse them since they often know terms such as 'breading' or 'crust', but may not understand the words 'wheat' or 'gluten'. It's easier to buy the products and read the label of couse. However, I have been pleasantly surprised at some Asian places that now carry the gluten-free soy sauce. As soon as you say "gluten-free" they'll immediately ramble off a few menu items made with corn starch and no soy sauce, even if the rest of their English is very broken. If you ask them to clean the grill or otherwise avoid cross contamination, they'll roll their eyes and say, "Yes!" Works for me. Comical, but we get through it.
  • 0

Celiac & Mastocytosis

Follows a diet similar to the Paleo diet, minus high-histamine items such as

avocadoes, mangoes, papaya, berries, pork, farm-raised fish, spinach, and seeds.

No eggs or red meat either.

 


#10 kittty

 
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Posted 29 August 2012 - 08:15 AM

Those were hilarious!

I ordered a sandwich without the bread once, and the server asked why. I told her I couldn't eat gluten, and she said "it's okay because we only use whole wheat bread here." :rolleyes:
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#11 Finally@45

 
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Posted 29 August 2012 - 09:45 AM

I ordered a sandwich without the bread once, and the server asked why. I told her I couldn't eat gluten, and she said "it's okay because we only use whole wheat bread here." :rolleyes:


Oh man, that made me laugh so hard!
  • 0

Celiac & Mastocytosis

Follows a diet similar to the Paleo diet, minus high-histamine items such as

avocadoes, mangoes, papaya, berries, pork, farm-raised fish, spinach, and seeds.

No eggs or red meat either.

 


#12 ndw3363

 
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Posted 29 August 2012 - 10:36 AM

Early last year when I first started my gluten-free journey, I went to eat at a restaurant - asked the hostess for their gluten-free menu. They had the typical "Allergen" menu, but that works just fine. Our server comes to the table (a very perky 19 year old looking young woman named Amber) to take our order. As I ordered, I must have pointed to what I wanted - she looks at the menu "oh no sweetie that's our allergen menu". Me: yes, I know I asked for this menu. Her: "Oh you poor thing! I just had an older lady that had that too!" Somehow, ordering a steak with no seasoning and extra vegetables qualifies as a hardship.

It's funny how your tastes change too - I will sometimes "indulge" and eat the gluten-free bread they offer at Cooper's Hawk - always served piping hot with real butter (sooo good!!!) - my friend tried it and couldn't stop talking about how awful it was and how her normal pretzel bread was SOO much better and poor me for having to eat this other crap. Personally, I love the stuff! I hardly eat any starches anymore, so having any of that occasionally is a treat.

Thanks for the laugh! Needed that today!
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#13 Lizanne

 
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Posted 31 August 2012 - 09:03 AM

So funny! 😄thanks for sharing. It's almost 2 months for me since being diagnosed with Celiac disease and I am so surprised as to how little people understand what I have and what gluten is.
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Gluten-Free Since July 2012

#14 heather806

 
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Posted 31 August 2012 - 09:06 AM

At a restaurant last month:

Me: Do you have a gluten-free menu by any chance?

Waitress: Uh, no I don't think so, lemme ask my manager. <comes back> Sorry, he said we don't. But I can assure you that we don't use horse hooves in anything we make."

Me: uhh...horse hooves?

Waitress: I know gluten is made of horse's hooves...you know like in Jello. My friend is a vegetarian and she won't eat Jello.

Me: Ohhhhh! <Laughing way too hard for a second or two> You mean gelatin...


We then had a brief discussion of what gluten is and isn't in. lol She couldn't have been older than 18 or 19.
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#15 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 31 August 2012 - 09:10 AM

<snort> horse hooves.... :lol:
  • 2

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif





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