Posted 27 September 2012 - 09:29 AM
Then there was the Subway incident, where Subway sandwiches were served at a gathering and I was told to take the fillings out of as many sandwiches as I wanted since the bread was off limits. When I politely turned down the offer there were some very disappointed faces. In their minds they had "solved" my dilemma by offering fillings, and didn't understand why I would refuse their efforts.
What do you do/say when people go out of their way to try and be helpful, but really miss the mark? I'd much rather they didn't bother to try and accommodate me, and just let me find options on my own that I know are safe. But at the same time I don't want to offend them.
Posted 27 September 2012 - 10:41 AM
Posted 28 September 2012 - 10:34 PM
Posted 28 September 2012 - 10:48 PM
I'm trying to pre-empt any such efforts in advance by telling my friends please, please don't try to make me something "special," although it's very sweet of you to think of me.
I've just had to be up front and explain that I get violently ill if there's any contamination at all along the way, even pretty much microscopic amounts.
It sounds cold, but it's not as bad as saying all this AFTER they've made something.
It's hard. I'm newly diagnosed and trying to get used to this. I'm going to a wedding this weekend and the groom was going to ask his friend the baker to make me some gluten-free cupcakes. I had to say please don't do that, it's complicated but I will get sick.
Mitzi, that's a good idea about saying my own cooking can do it too...
Diagnosed with wheat hates me 4/13
Posted 02 October 2012 - 11:48 AM
I've had people try to force me to eat fruit salad. They've told me it's ridiculous that I won't eat fruit. Well it's ridiculous that I have someone telling me what is and isn't safe for someone with a disease they don't have, don't understand and know next to nothing about. It's ridiculous for someone to make what is essentially a medical decision about my health for me. It's ridiculous for someone to get offended about the fact that I don't want to spend 6 weeks in gluten hell so they aren't offended over the fact that I won't eat a bowl of fruit. And I told them all that too.
I don't do tiptoeing. I don't like the simple "no thank you" or "I'm not hungry" approach because it doesn't deter repeat offenders. I will explain simply that I'm sorry but it simply isn't safe for me to eat food prepared in other people's homes. When they get offended though, frankly that offends me. What right do they have to be offended that I don't want to be sick and miserable or that I want to protect my health? Maybe it isn't the best approach but I tell them then exactly what I think of their reaction and how absurd it is. My disease isn't about them. I didn't ask them to make me food, I never asked to be accommodated. I'm more than happy to eat the snacks I carry in my purse. After 10 months this is more or less a non-issue for me. I'll be damned if I let someone else own my illness and health problems and turn it into how I offended them by daring to be born genetically flawed.
"You don't look sick or anything"
"Well you don't look stupid, looks can be deceiving."
Celiac DX Dec 2012
CRPS DX March 2014
Posted 02 October 2012 - 12:39 PM
This reception was outdoors and there was a picnic-style buffet. I brought a chicken sandwich on Udi's and no one questioned it. If they had, so what? I'd tell them I had food allergies (because that's easier for them to understand) and leave it at that.
gluten-free since June, 2011
Can't eat soy, corn, or foods high in salicylates.
Nightshades now seem to bother me too.
BUT I CAN STILL PLAY MY GUITAR AND THAT"S ALL THAT MATTERS!
Posted 02 October 2012 - 12:43 PM
Living in the beautiful Ozark mountains in Arkansas
positive blood tests and later, positive biopsy
diagnosed 8/5/02, gluten-free (after lots of mistakes!) since that day
Dairy free since July 2010 and NOT happy about it!!
Posted 07 October 2012 - 08:03 AM
One of my kids' friends mom made gluten-free peanut butter cookies - I was in a hurry and took a bite and drove off and my stomach was already cramping...tossed it. Thank goodness I only took a bite.
Someone brought gluten-free muffins to work - I declined & had to politely tell them their muffin tin would be all gluteny, and added don't worry about me, I am very particular and look after myself (ie. please don't try to make anything else!).
My neighbor made gluten-free squares and gave me one while we were sitting together. She's quite old & I didnt' want to offend her so I took a small bite off the top and told her they were good (she then gave me the recipe). While she was distracted I, uh, got rid of it - didn't want to eat the bottom part that was touching the pans. Funny huh ???
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