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Frustrated And Ready To Cry!


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12 replies to this topic

#1 DavinaRN

 
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Posted 20 October 2012 - 03:31 PM

Went to breakfast with DH, eggs were nasty so all I ate was 3 slices bacon (DH was rushing me so no snack fixed to take). Then we headed to run some errands, with the final one being a wholesale club. I skipped every single sample, avoided the apple cider donuts that DH kept talking about as we walked the whole store. During this time I was starving (it had been 5 hours since the bacon), DH kept pointing out EVERY thing I like that I couldn't eat. At the end of the shopping trip, I went and got his box of doughnuts and asked him if he likes being mean. His response was, well I know you will eat them. Yeah right, I start feeling worse before I can even finish a meal with gluten. Fast forward to this evening, making our supper plates (grown kids came over), he tells the kids about the doughnuts and how he thought I would eat them. So I tell them about he kept pointing out things I couldn't have until I was at point of crying. He says well he doesn't know what I can't eat. Where the H*~* has he been the last two weeks as I talked about it. Please say it gets easier, really don't want anti anxiety meds to keep from strangling him.
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Gluten Free since October 2012
Negative blood work, positive dietary response
Endocrinologist offered referral to GI if I needed formal diagnosis to follow the diet, otherwise just pass on wheat, barley & rye
and save my money

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#2 GottaSki

 
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Posted 20 October 2012 - 03:51 PM

It gets easier.

I am sorry you had a rotten day and hubs is less than supportive right now.

First step is learning what you can and cannot eat yourself. As you learn and are consistent - he will learn too. As your health improves he'll see the reason for the change.

Another possibilty is he is worried about what your dietary changes mean for him. I can tell you my husband is extremely supportive - now. During my very early days I didn't know how much my dietary changes would effect him and our kids - it all just takes time and unfortunately a LOT of frustration.

Hang in there and come here to rant, bitch and complain - we understand completely.
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-Lisa

Undiagnosed Celiac Disease ~ 43 years

3/26/09 gluten-free - dignosed celiac - blood 3/3/09, biopsy 3/26/09, double DQ2 / single DQ8 positive

10/25/13 - MCAD

Health history since celiac diagnosis became too long -- moved to the "about me" section of my profile

My children and I all have multiple copies of the genes for Celiac Disease, along with large variety of symptoms/resolution gluten-free

Current tally from me, three kids and two grands: 4 diagnosed with Celiac Disease, 2 NCGS

Get PROPERLY tested BEFORE REMOVING GLUTEN.

ALWAYS independently research health related information found on internet forums/blogs.

"LTES" a Gem :)


#3 DavinaRN

 
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Posted 20 October 2012 - 04:08 PM

GottaSki, thanks so much for responding so quickly. It helps to know your not alone.
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Gluten Free since October 2012
Negative blood work, positive dietary response
Endocrinologist offered referral to GI if I needed formal diagnosis to follow the diet, otherwise just pass on wheat, barley & rye
and save my money

#4 mushroom

 
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Posted 20 October 2012 - 04:16 PM

I haven't eaten any nightshades in more than two years. Hubs yesterday says, "Can you eat peppers?" :rolleyes: And he knows they are a nightshade. Because all he has to worry about is gluten he just skips over the rest of the stuff I can't have.
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Neroli


"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." - Albert Einstein

"Life is not weathering the storm; it is learning to dance in the rain"

"Whatever the question, the answer is always chocolate." Nigella Lawson

------------

Caffeine free 1973
Lactose free 1990
(Mis)diagnosed IBS, fibromyalgia '80's and '90's
Diagnosed psoriatic arthritis 2004
Self-diagnosed gluten intolerant, gluten-free Nov. 2007
Soy free March 2008
Nightshade free Feb 2009
Citric acid free June 2009
Potato starch free July 2009
(Totally) corn free Nov. 2009
Legume free March 2010
Now tolerant of lactose

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

#5 Mdhriggin

 
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Posted 20 October 2012 - 04:17 PM

As the only member of my house who can eat gluten, I am saddened by your husband's response. It did take us a while to figure out what he and the kids could and couldn't eat, as well as how to avoid cross contamination when we were eating out. I have found that honest communication (honey, I feel frustrated when you point out foods I like but THAT WILL CAUSE ME INTESTINAL DAMAGE) seem to work well when done frequently.
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#6 shadowicewolf

 
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Posted 20 October 2012 - 04:42 PM

Sounds like how my family was. Ignore it. Seriously. There is no need to get upset over it.
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#7 1desperateladysaved

 
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Posted 20 October 2012 - 06:22 PM

Oh, I am so sad for you. I had a big struggle since I live with my family of several adult children. I wrote a blog on "How a husband can come around." Other family members are changing their attitude somewhat. I think I blogged about that too.

Now, my husband has realized that I have had a problem with gluten. (8 months gluten free, 6 months grain free.) At first I was feeling so very alone. He began to see extreme changes in my behaviour that reflected the transformation going on inside. Suddenly, I did the dishes without batting an eye. Someone treated me unkindly, but I controlled my anger. This isn't something you can well up within yourself. That is why I say that you need to give yourself time for recovery, withdrawl, and to learn the diet. That is an awful lot.

There was always bright spots for me, my youngest children 8 and 10 years seemed to like any food I gave them. They also occassionally belly ached they wanted to eat what Mom was eating-nothing more. Sometimes, I need to leave the table or room when they ate something that smells strong. Now, we have a system where they cook outside if they must. I don't know what we will do in the winter, though.

I still haven't got my husband to look up celiac on the internet or read the papers that I have on it. He told me once that he didn't know how serious it was. I was just about dying 5 years back. My doctor wrote him a letter to make sure he knew that.

I am still having some real difficulties physically, but some really nice comfortable highs too. Just when I am feeling the worst (quite often) I suddenly feel better then ever!

I hope you will find support- maybe here. I hope you will be committed to make your marriage work-and he will. Nobody knew that Celiac was printed on the back of your marriage license. I mean it was something that just came as a surprise with the whole package. It might take a while, but I hope you will be telling us one day how he came around.

Diana

Your body is probably going through alot just now too. You had been off gluten, back on, and now are off again? you don't have to have everything all together just now. You could be in survival mode for a while.
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#8 DavinaRN

 
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Posted 20 October 2012 - 08:16 PM

I was off for 4 days, then back on for 10, now at 2 days off. I wanted to cry every night during the on time because I felt so bad. I'm not sure if it was really worse or it just felt that way because I knew how it felt to eat without being sicker afterward. Now I'm holding at a baseline "car/motion sick" instead of "stomach virus" kind of sick :) So I know this is my path to feeling better even if the tests are negative for celiac.

As to DH, time will tell but hopefully he will learn. He did good taking care of me after my lung surgery, but you could see and touch the scar :unsure:

Mushroom- :) 2yrs later???
Mdhriggin- my son is hoping he doesn't have to give up fast food
Shadow-Did they ever come around?
  • 0
Gluten Free since October 2012
Negative blood work, positive dietary response
Endocrinologist offered referral to GI if I needed formal diagnosis to follow the diet, otherwise just pass on wheat, barley & rye
and save my money

#9 mushroom

 
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Posted 20 October 2012 - 08:53 PM

\

Mushroom- :) 2yrs later???


Yes, but he WAS concerned - little bells were ringing somewhere :lol:
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Neroli


"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." - Albert Einstein

"Life is not weathering the storm; it is learning to dance in the rain"

"Whatever the question, the answer is always chocolate." Nigella Lawson

------------

Caffeine free 1973
Lactose free 1990
(Mis)diagnosed IBS, fibromyalgia '80's and '90's
Diagnosed psoriatic arthritis 2004
Self-diagnosed gluten intolerant, gluten-free Nov. 2007
Soy free March 2008
Nightshade free Feb 2009
Citric acid free June 2009
Potato starch free July 2009
(Totally) corn free Nov. 2009
Legume free March 2010
Now tolerant of lactose

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

#10 shadowicewolf

 
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Posted 20 October 2012 - 10:05 PM

I've been regarded as a hypocondriact and left to it.

I'd rather be that than sick. :ph34r:
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#11 DavinaRN

 
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Posted 21 October 2012 - 05:26 AM

I've been regarded as a hypocondriact and left to it.

I'd rather be that than sick. :ph34r:


I so understand that.
  • 0
Gluten Free since October 2012
Negative blood work, positive dietary response
Endocrinologist offered referral to GI if I needed formal diagnosis to follow the diet, otherwise just pass on wheat, barley & rye
and save my money

#12 dilettantesteph

 
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Posted 21 October 2012 - 06:23 AM

My husband hasn't been as supportive as I would like either. At first he was almost combative not wanting to believe the doctors. Somehow he thought that he knew better than they did. He has come around a bit five years later. We do need to appreciate that this is hard on our loved ones too, though in a different way.

He will still make appreciative noises when he eats things that I can't have and will go on a bit about how good they are. It is hard for me to understand how someone can be so insensitive. I suppose there are things about me that he can't understand. That's what we get into when we marry someone.

The first while on this diet can be a real emotional roller coaster. If you can't get the support you need from your husband, be sure to get it somewhere. You will need it.
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#13 NorthernElf

 
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Posted 21 October 2012 - 06:59 AM

Sometimes it takes awhile for those folks around you to get it - they have seen you eat gluten for years.

Really, the best thing you can do is be consistent in not eating gluten, be strict. If they see you slip they will assume you don't really need the diet.

My DH came on board fairly early because he has to live with me...ha ha...and he could see how miserable I got on gluten. His folks were awesome when we visited - my mother in law bought another toaster and cutting board just for me, as well as some gluten-free food. My own folks absolutely suck - I am very careful to bring food with me - we will show up there for supper to buns and assorted meats for supper, nothing for me at all (my own folks!). This is big because they live 6 hours away, it's not like we just pop by. Anyway, I bring a cooler and usually leftovers from the night before so I can eat safely. Even after 10 years I don't think they really get it.

We have all had those times where we have wanted to throttle someone ! Last Xmas holidays we had ice cream cake for my dad's birthday and my mom said a couple of times how good it was & too bad I couldn't have any. Finally I just said "thanks mom" and left it at that....I think she realized what she was doing 'cause she got all quiet for a bit. My mom is a serial dieter & I think she feels guilty eating stuff like that to begin with and 'lucky' me is lean and doesn't have the temptation. Twisted, but whatever.
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