Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

Invisible Disease: You Look Healthy
0

14 posts in this topic

I nearly died five years ago. Meanwhile I was trying to act normal. I tried to do my responsibilities. I dragged my feet through every day. One time I said, "I feel like I am drowning, but you are telling me to ignore the waves." I couldn't do that. I got no extra rest, no hospital stays, and no flowers. Wow! That was hard.

Family members discussed my bizarre behaviours, or thought perhaps I was angry with them. But I just couldn't see through the fog. They couldn't see the fog or fatigue. "You look good."

If my friends or family are suffering like this, I sure hope I will be able to do something for them.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:

I think many of us can identify with what you are saying. We fight so hard to take care of our families and ourselves through all the pain. Doctors tell us we are 'just depressed' (who wouldn't be in constant pain), your job is too stressful (of course it is I have to run to the bathroom wondering if I will make it all day long) and the real kicker 'you just want to be sick' (yea right!!!)

What was worse for me was the last 5 years when my health issues became obvious to all around me and the doctors still couldn't figure out what was going on. The most heartbreaking was the morning when after my usual 2 to 3 hours of agony in the middle of night my DD met me coming out of the bathroom. She had tears in her eyes and told me the family would understand if I committed suicide.

Then you finally get diagnosed and everyone expects you to be able to go back to a 'normal' life despite the fact that you still have problems they can't see.

I do hope someday stories like ours will be fewer and far between because people are getting diagnosed without the years and years of suffering that so many on this board have gone through.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People do not understand what they cannot see, thus to them you may look fine, but you are not.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know exactly what you mean. I just got DX but for the last two years i have felt like the walking dead and most people just don't understand it isn't by choice that I feel this way.

I feel bad when I am in so much pain I can't get down on the floor and play with my grandkids. My husband was really getting mad at me until I got DX with Celiac's but now I think he starting to try and understand. He has just retired and is full of energy and life. He wants to go out danceing like we used to but I just am not up to it. I was always very active until this.

I am a Custodian at an elementary school with 500 kids. Its a hard job even when you feel good. It's all I can do somedays to just get my job done. I keep wondering how much longer I will be able to work.I know people are wondering why I am not the same person I used to be.

I am praying going gluten free will help. Since people can't see what is happening to us they just don't understand. Until I found out about Celiac's I really wondered what was happening to me and I had heard about Celiac's before this. Why isn't there more awareness?? I had heard on people not eating gluten but really didn't understand why. Now I do !!

Hope for better health

Kim

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:(

I think many of us can identify with what you are saying. We fight so hard to take care of our families and ourselves through all the pain. Doctors tell us we are 'just depressed' (who wouldn't be in constant pain), your job is too stressful (of course it is I have to run to the bathroom wondering if I will make it all day long) and the real kicker 'you just want to be sick' (yea right!!!)

What was worse for me was the last 5 years when my health issues became obvious to all around me and the doctors still couldn't figure out what was going on. The most heartbreaking was the morning when after my usual 2 to 3 hours of agony in the middle of night my DD met me coming out of the bathroom. She had tears in her eyes and told me the family would understand if I committed suicide.

Then you finally get diagnosed and everyone expects you to be able to go back to a 'normal' life despite the fact that you still have problems they can't see.

I do hope someday stories like ours will be fewer and far between because people are getting diagnosed without the years and years of suffering that so many on this board have gone through.

:( Yeah, for sure there is hope for others. :( There is hope for us too, so hang on.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites




I know exactly what you mean. I just got DX but for the last two years i have felt like the walking dead and most people just don't understand it isn't by choice that I feel this way.

I feel bad when I am in so much pain I can't get down on the floor and play with my grandkids. My husband was really getting mad at me until I got DX with Celiac's but now I think he starting to try and understand. He has just retired and is full of energy and life. He wants to go out danceing like we used to but I just am not up to it. I was always very active until this.

I am a Custodian at an elementary school with 500 kids. Its a hard job even when you feel good. It's all I can do somedays to just get my job done. I keep wondering how much longer I will be able to work.I know people are wondering why I am not the same person I used to be.

I am praying going gluten free will help. Since people can't see what is happening to us they just don't understand. Until I found out about Celiac's I really wondered what was happening to me and I had heard about Celiac's before this. Why isn't there more awareness?? I had heard on people not eating gluten but really didn't understand why. Now I do !!

Hope for better health

Kim

Thanks, and I hope you will have the energy you need. How long have you been gluten free? I think we better be able to tell the next guy about celiac. Their loved ones, or they themselves may be suffering.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks, and I hope you will have the energy you need. How long have you been gluten free? I think we better be able to tell the next guy about celiac. Their loved ones, or they themselves may be suffering.

Hi, I just got DX on Oct 1st and have been trying to be gluten free. it is so over whelming trying to figure out what you can eat. Going out to eat is nightmare. Just having the energy to get my kitchen gluten free and keep things away from the things that aren't is just too much at times. Not to mention the cost of the food you have to use for baking. Plus trying to make family and friends understand why you have to be so careful.

Sorry I needed to vent. At least here I know you understand.

Thanks

I am just looking for the light at the end of this tunnel.:)

Kim

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, I just got DX on Oct 1st and have been trying to be gluten free. it is so over whelming trying to figure out what you can eat. Going out to eat is nightmare. Just having the energy to get my kitchen gluten free and keep things away from the things that aren't is just too much at times. Not to mention the cost of the food you have to use for baking. Plus trying to make family and friends understand why you have to be so careful.

Sorry I needed to vent. At least here I know you understand.

Thanks

I am just looking for the light at the end of this tunnel.:)

Kim

Yeah, you really are new, but I was there 5 months back. You need some down time, but the bottom line is that you might not get it. Do your best and know that the body was made to recover.

Honestly, I haven't cleaned my whole kitchen yet, but gluten flour isn't used in it anymore. I would have liked for it to have a thorough cleaning, but atleast it has been cleaned several times. I don't order any bags of grain anymore and we ran out. I might still have a box of "gluten" in my pantry. I don't own a toaster and my plates and tools are mostly stainless steel. But I know better then to grab down my box of cookbooks or even look through them. Maybe next time I am really up I will dun my mask and gloves and get it all done.

None of you want to buy my cookbooks, nor would I sell them to you. Let's just say I really enjoyed my gluten and the splotches on the book reflect it.

I hope you don't have 30 years of symptoms behind you, just 2? I don't want anyone to go through 2 years of it, though. Gasp, okay, I just read your story in your other post. Regards, it sounds like you are in my boat. However, I don't really have much pain like you. I am numb, but that is part of the reason I didn't get diagnosed.

Diana

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Diana

Yes the last two years have been the worst but I think I might have had it longer but because all the other medical issues I thought were the reason I felt so bad.

Now I am dealing with the meds and Doctor trying to see what kind of reflux meds I can take. The Dr called in a new one and now my insurance won't pay for it. I don't really want to take any but the Dr said with Barretts that could lead to cancer if I don't get the acids under control. Sometimes I feel like banging my head against a wall. Nothing is simple anymore.

Sorry I am done whinning now.

Have you been getting better since going gluten free? I have been reading so much trying to find if everything I eat or touch has gluten in that my eyes are crossed. I hope I can get to the point I can relax and enjoy eating again. Also just trying to find my way around these forums. I am not the best at computers.This brain is on over load.:)

Take care and Thanks

To better health

Kim

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've only been diagnosed for two weeks but I think I've had the disease for almost thirty years (that's when I had mono and constant throat infections at six, then migraines, "psychosomatic" stomach pain and vomitting, late menstruation....). I'm a naturally open person so everyone around me knows that I'm diagnosed with celiac but I find this brings up some very frustrating comments. Some people even ask me how my "diet" is going. My first born son has severely delayed growth, speech and motor delays and low tone that started at about two months. In all likelihood this is because he is a celiac like me and responded to the antibodies in my breast milk and then in the wheat I gave him for years.

The bottom line is I may have inadvertently starved both my boys in utero, and myself, and then starved my older boy for four years without knowing it. Ya know, bikini season isn't really the biggest thing I'm dealing with!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, this did get sad. Okay, it is really sad. All we can do is pick up the pieces and go on. Now we know what we can do. Now we can do something. I have promises that the Lord can restore the years the locusts have eaten. Sometimes that is the only thing that keeps me going. I do hope everyone who has suffered like this will have that promise for themself.

We can't know in the past what we know now. If we had known... we would have done what he have now done. All we can do is do the best we can now.

I didn't know I had celiac all those years, but the miracle is that it was revealed now and I can do something about it.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can't help but cry when I read this tread. I want to take away all your pain. My husband and I were just discussing this very thing. Why do people tell you you look good.?! Especially when you feel like crap! The first doctor DH saw told him that. Needless to say, we changed docs!

I wish you all well!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't say that I would want to be told I look awful, or could I?

I hope to send flowers to anyone in this spot.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't say that I would want to be told I look awful, or could I?

I hope to send flowers to anyone in this spot.

I think the "you look good" is interpreted by the patient as a denial of ill health.....maybe turn it back on the doc and say "only on the outside"?
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      104,642
    • Total Posts
      921,569
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Hey there! Welcome to the club you never wanted to be a part of. Boy, you are certainly throwing yourself one heck of a bang up pity party aren't you? PLEASE do not take that as a put down! I don't think there is a single solitary one of us who hasn't thrown ourselves at least 1 pity party. I know I've thrown at least 3. Oh, & crying meltdowns in the grocery store? Every one has been there, done that one too. It's all part of the process just like cyclinglady said. Ravenwoodglass is right on too about how it can mess with your head. Boy! Can it ever mess with your head! You really have been given excellent info. by all who have answered. I want to touch on something that hasn't been addressed yet but you mentioned it and that is kissing. You might call me an old lady as I'm just shy of 60 but I'm also a child of the 60's so remember that when you read what I'm going to tell you. BTW, I'm married to the same person, my only marriage, for 43 years. Anyone who cuts & runs because they have to brush their teeth before kissing you is not worth 2 minutes of your time and you are well rid of them! Be thankful that you have this "screening tool" because it will save you a lot of wasted time. If they won't even give you a chance when they hear about the precautions you have to take then they aren't worth a damn! Imagine someone like that standing by your side when times get tough. You can't can you? That's because they won't and you want a true partner who will support you and hang in there through the challenges we face in life & believe me, you will both face many life challenges.  Cooking. You don't have to be a gourmet. Cook simple. You know how to boil & scramble & fry eggs right? Only takes a couple minutes. Veggies? Aw heck, nuke 'em OR throw them on a baking pan spritz them with olive oil & spices of your choice & stick them in the oven. Smoothies are easy. Fresh fruit is well, fresh fruit - easy - peel it & eat it or just pop it in your mouth. Sweet potatoes can be nuked too & are wonderful for you. Salads are easy. Nut butters are a great source of protein. Karen had some great examples in her post too. Her "attitude adjustment" tips are great as well.  
    • I was only asking because when ferritin is low that you can experience hair loss/fatigue etc. even if your other iron levels are in range. This just happened to me so I thought I would share just in case it helps you. Ferritin should be above 50 to be optimal, not just "in range."  I've been on iron supplements and much better now. This may not be your problem at all, but I would have them check your ferritin levels. Low iron or anemia is common with celiac. The ferritin test is measuring how much iron is stored in your body. FYi: Iron binding capacity is really telling you how much protein your liver is making in order to carry that iron around. Usually, iron binding capacity will be higher in the range when iron is low. Edit: Also my blood pressure was low when my ferritin level got very low.
    • Hello I'm happy to join, any help is greatly appreciated as it can be difficult by times for sure. Unfortunately, I have been told my doctor has definitely not been doing anything correctly and very backwards about Alot of things. I live in canada, and there are celiac support groups I have found but I am about 2 hours away from any. I live in a pretty rural area. Although,  I have still received some help from them , they prefer a diagnosis before helping out to much. My doctor has me on a waiting list to see a gastrointestinal specialist but whenever I called her office to inquire about an appointment time I was told there was a very long wait and that I was considered to be a non emergency. So I am waiting to get an appointment. I have seen a dermatoligist for some of my rashes and she said it was dermatitis and gave me different creams for them.  It is frustrating because I don't know how to go about getting a actual diagnosis besides this biopsy. I was told to request a different specialist, but supposedly there is a waiting period for most in our area. 
    • Thanks for all of the replies. I've just found out I'm not getting to see a dietician because of not having a definite diagnosis which is another blow. I've had loads of bloods done but they just say they're all normal. I did have low vitamin D and high parathyroid but it's sorted itself out after a course of high dose vitamin D and they're not checking it again for a year. No chance of getting referred to endocrinology, gastro won't do it and neither will my gp. I've tried giving up coffee and all fizzy juice and it hasn't made a difference. I'm exhausted and scared and still have no clue what to do next. My gp has zero experience dealing with this type of thing - last time I was there she said it could be because I've restricted my diet too much and I should eat more gluten-free replacement products - everything I've read online says this is the worst thing to do! I'm asking for a copy of the last blood results this week so I can go through them myself but other than that I'm pretty stuck. 
    • I really am iffy on talking about this side of my gluten issues, I think I am about to ruin my reputation on this forum coming about as some extreme crazy guy saying this but I wanted to get this off my chest and perhaps see if anyone else might share a similar trauma. I get emotional recalling it, this side of my reactions, as it is most ingrained and very traumatizing experience, and I am not proud of it as the mentality I have now disgust me but I am going to come out about it. One of the scariest things in this world is when your own mind turns against you, when you can not think about what you want to think about, when you can not do what you know you should be able to do. When I got glutened really bad these where things I felt with my own mind would start looping, and thoughts would not come together. I would loose comprehension, feel like I know I should be able to think about something but my mind was not working. The same thing looped over and over and over like a broken record, This led to anger, anxiety, depression, panic, top it off with loss of feeling in my hands and feet, and the pains in the gut......it was a nightmare. I would go as far as beating my head against walls and punching them out of frustration as to why my own body and mind where not working, I just wanted it to end the pain to stop. I still have scars on my fist from punching into a nail in a stud once and kept going.....I scared everyone and myself distanced my self from loved ones. And started running a bucket list accepting that I was going to die soon. Hell to this day parts of the brain damage seem to be permanent as I can no longer do computer programing or some forms of math, they just no longer make any sense or connect. Then we learned what was causing it, and once the symptoms started to fade, I would get very angry if someone in the shared house did something stupid and got me sick again. The fear of going back to that caused violent and drastic actions to get away from what was making me sick. The sheer fear of my own mind turning on me led me to drastic actions to prevent it, throwing everything away I thought could make me sick, making sure no one else used that kitchen, used freezer paper and gloves when fixing my foods and working in there. I really destroyed and burned all bridges I had then and alienated myself from others. In the end it motivated me to learn how to cook, to get and renovate my own apartment in a building downtown, and start a business to pay for my new diet, by selling safe food to others with this issues locally at farmer markets. But it changed me on a very deep level, that traumatic experience to this day I have a issue looking at others and dealing with other humans who eat that stuff.......the stuff that breaks my mind and body so horrifically. If I have to compare it to something its like watching aliens drinking antifreeze and eating poison.....it causes a subconscious level of disgust and slight envy. I really can not even look at the stuff without recall what it does and feeling a twitch. I know I am the alien here, but it feels vise versa, and I look down on the normal people as odd creatures.  I go to the store and find myself overly avoiding contamination, keeping stuff in my own bags, asking the cashier to scan and bag it as I pass it not letting it touch that flour I see on the belt. I am hyper sensitive to the stuff I know and that fear semi dominates my mind as crazy as it sounds.  I am recovering and am forcing myself to try to mingle with other humans overlooking that one thing, but that deep rooted trauma still flares up as a protective measure especially around foods.  I could talk on and on about the other side effects but this one is the hardest to talk about it, and I feel others might be able to relate to it.    
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      61,648
    • Most Online
      3,093

    Newest Member
    Mileenabug
    Joined