Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

Etiquette For Thanksgiving?
0

4 posts in this topic

Hello,

I wasn't sure which board this would be best for, so I'll try this one. My husband and I had planned a quiet Thanksgiving for just us and our boys (we don't have family nearby anyways), and have our gluten free meal planned and bought. A (newer) friend of ours was planning to do the same thing with her family, so I suggested maybe getting together for just dessert in the evening and invited them over. She then invited us to all of Thanksgiving dinner at her house instead. I offered to have them over, since I have so many food restrictions. (I should mention I am celiac, lactose intolerant, and 35 weeks pregnant with barely-controlled gestational diabetes). My friend hasn't told me yes or no yet, she just said we'd talk about it later.

My questions are regarding etiquette: Was it rude to turn her invitation down for the whole meal and to offer to have them over instead? Was it strange for me to initially only invite them over for dessert? My intentions were good: I knew we had both already planned our separate meals, and I figured doing 'just dessert' would be fun and easy without the pressure and our kids would have fun playing. (not to mention less contamination potential, and I can still make our whole meal gluten free without feeling odd about the food being a little 'different'). I would still prefer to do just dessert, but I'm not sure if it's just plain wierd. Just needed some other opinions.

Thanks and Happy Thanksgiving!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Ads by Google:

You have the perfect excuse for just doing dessert! Your 35 weeks pregnant! Even with no food issues....you should not be making dinner for all or even leaving your house , where you can rest, for more than and hour or so.

Just tell her, you are so exhausted and sick with this pregnancy that having them over for dessert is all you can handle. But you would like to make the desserts and do it at your house so you can put your feet up and enjoy the adult company while the kids play.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No, and no.

Seriously, bail on the whole meal thing, tell her you'd love to get together in the future for dinner, but you are quickly realizing how stressful it's going to be for the next few months and a big dinner is more than you should be taking on. If she doesn't want to do desert, then plan a coffee and desert day in a couple weeks. Call it your shopping coffee break.

Two perspectives on your friend's motivation:

I love to cook and I love to feed people. I would totally invite over near strangers for dinner with only the slightest provocation.

My mom will never in her life ever agree to eat Thanksgiving dinner at someone else's house. She wants it her way, and anything else just wouldn't be Thanksgiving.

I don't know where your friend falls, but it could be either of these extremes. Blame the pregnancy, it covers a lot of excuses.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is no reason to feel rude for having turned down going somewhere for dinner. You already planned and bought a dinner! You can of course mention that if she brings it up again and say that you just had not only already planned on cooking, but purchased everything and didn't want to walk out on it. If she is aware of your food issues you can also mention that it is simply impossible for you to dine at someone else's house.

I agree though that maybe it's best to simply enjoy your quiet days at home separately. She'll want to bring something, you'll have to tell her no so she doesn't CC your whole meal, things could get awkward. I'd just give her a call and say that if she hasn't decided already you're hormonal (I love pregnancy excuses!) and weren't thinking and you guys should just stick with your quiet days at home.

Getting together for desserts is a splendid idea. It is something I've done with both friends and family in the past for holidays and just because. I don't find it weird at all. I like to plan fun games that involve socializing and some friendly competition, but that's just me. Things like pictionary were always great for groups of any size and included all the age groups together.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      104,344
    • Total Posts
      920,486
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • What's an " iodine test"?  Haven't heard doctors doing that to diagnose DH.
    • Hello! I've just been given my blood results and told they are highly suggestive of coeliacs but will have to wait till next month to see the gastroenterologist and who knows how much longer for a biopsy. My igA, igG and tissuetrans igA were all over 250 and tissuetrans igG was the only one that was normal. These results don't mean much to me yet but I'm told they are very high. I'm now quite fearful of how much damage I've gone to myself. I've had stomach problems for 25 years (just turned 40) and have often steered clear of too much bread and pasta for how bloated it made me feel but the symptoms were always vague and inconsistent so I kept eating. I had a couple of boats of gastro in the past few months (thanks kids) which I took a lot longer than normal to recover from which looking back may have been related. Then last Friday I had a blowout with wine, cheese, crackers, pizza and chocolate cake. I'm sure I've probably had blowouts like that before but I have never felt so sick before and am still slowly recovering. This is what finally prompted me to go back to my GP after being fobbed off so many times over the years. So I guess my question and my concern is whether there is still  chance of a false positive with levels like this? I worry what else it might be if not coeliac. I'm also worried that I may have done so much damage to myself that I will have several disorders going on! I'm also still recovering from last Friday and wondering when I'm going to feel better. I've stayed off gluten and dairy since my blood result a couple of days ago but feel like I'm allergic to food in general.  Thankyou!!    
    • Here's what the Klondike Bar makers say on the FAQ page of their website (August 2016): Are your products gluten free? Nope. They are not. We have not validated for gluten free. We do not operate allergen-free manufacturing sites, however we do have allergen management programs in all our facilities. The intent of these programs is to avoid unintentional cross-contamination of allergens between products. Our product labels adhere to the FDA’s strict regulations regarding declaration of ingredients and allergens. We do not use the terms “Natural” or “Artificial Flavorings” to hide the existence of any allergens. RECIPES CAN CHANGE. We strongly recommend that allergic consumers refer to ingredient declarations EVERY TIME they purchase processed foods.
    • I tried the iodine test but couldn't leave it on very long because it itched too much. I left it on maybe 30 minutes lol. Did anyone try it and have the same response??
    • Had my scope today. Dr said my esophagus is damaged and stomach inflamed. Waiting on biopsy results. Taking protonic and flagyl and he said to go ahead and try cutting gluten out to see if that helps. Thanks for the feedback everyone! 
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      61,414
    • Most Online
      1,763

    Newest Member
    Vic40
    Joined