Get email alerts Get Celiac.com E-mail Alerts  




Celiac.com Sponsor:
Celiac.com Sponsor:




Ads by Google:






   Get email alerts  Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts

  • Announcements

    • admin

      Frequently Asked Questions About Celiac Disease   09/30/2015

      This Celiac.com FAQ on celiac disease will guide you to all of the basic information you will need to know about the disease, its diagnosis, testing methods, a gluten-free diet, etc.   Subscribe to FREE Celiac.com email alerts What are the major symptoms of celiac disease? Celiac Disease Symptoms What testing is available for celiac disease? - list blood tests, endo with biopsy, genetic test and enterolab (not diagnostic) Celiac Disease Screening Interpretation of Celiac Disease Blood Test Results Can I be tested even though I am eating gluten free? How long must gluten be taken for the serological tests to be meaningful? The Gluten-Free Diet 101 - A Beginner's Guide to Going Gluten-Free Is celiac inherited? Should my children be tested? Ten Facts About Celiac Disease Genetic Testing Is there a link between celiac and other autoimmune diseases? Celiac Disease Research: Associated Diseases and Disorders Is there a list of gluten foods to avoid? Unsafe Gluten-Free Food List (Unsafe Ingredients) Is there a list of gluten free foods? Safe Gluten-Free Food List (Safe Ingredients) Gluten-Free Alcoholic Beverages Distilled Spirits (Grain Alcohols) and Vinegar: Are they Gluten-Free? Where does gluten hide? Additional Things to Beware of to Maintain a 100% Gluten-Free Diet Free recipes: Gluten-Free Recipes Where can I buy gluten-free stuff? Support this site by shopping at The Celiac.com Store.

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Sequel
0

2,226 posts in this topic

Oh fantastic!  I can blame my weight gain on all the gluten free bakers I have met! 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Funny practical joke if you remember that a spider has 8 legs.  

 

 

1511095_716122945097655_5344006126439479

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Trying to keep SkiLIsa laughing (or groaning at some of these).  

 

In honor of The World Cup, some soccer jokes:

 

soccer-ball-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the Football team?

 

A: Because she Kept running away from the ball. 

 

 

Q: Why do soccer players have so much trouble eating Indian food?

 

A: They think they can't use they're hands. 

 

 

Q: Why is a bad futbol team like an old bra?

 

A: No cups and little support. 

 

Soccer Pick Up Lines

Guy: Wanna go out? Girl: I have a boyfriend. Guy: It's just like soccer, just because theres a goalie doesnt mean you cant score.

 

Hey, did ya know I'm part of a soccer team? (Really?) Yeah, hopefully I score tonight.

 

Girl, can I get your Jersey? (What?) You know your name and number? 




source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/soccerjokes.html

 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Karen, your cracking me up today...love it  :D

 

Gonna do the spider thing to my son, freak time...lol

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Snort! Quiet snort yet a snort just the same...laughter heals...Dave even got a laugh outta the ER doc doing his spinal tap...laughter is good...doc made a cornball joke at the end of the procedure :)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So my Doctor says: Are you drinking enough water?  I say:  Oh yes, I'm adding ice cubes to my wine.

 

Colleen

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So my Doctor says: Are you drinking enough water? I say: Oh yes, I'm adding ice cubes to my wine.

Colleen

I'm on hospital time...I may have to pull the emergency wine pod from my emergency response team pack a bit before cocktail hour ;)
0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How about some doctor/hospital jokes for SkiLisa & hub?

 

Five Doctors Duck Hunting
  Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a general practice (GP) physcian, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. 

After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. "I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.
Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape. 

Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. "Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma. 

Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! 
The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him and said. "Go see if that was a duck, will you?"
1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A nurse was leaving the hospital one evening when she found the doctor standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen", said the doctor, "this is important and my assistant has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly", said the nurse, flattered that the doctor had asked her for help.

She turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.

"Excellent! Excellent!" said the doctor as his paper disappeared inside the machine.

"I need two copies of that"

 

 

 

 

doctor-examination.gif

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

n 80-year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. 

"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" 

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. 

Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No." 

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" 

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.

 

hilarious!!!!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks K...do believe you'll prevent the wine from flowing quite yet...no promises in a few hours ;)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks K...do believe you'll prevent the wine from flowing quite yet...no promises in a few hours ;)

 

 

Do I have to get out M's joke book from first grade?  Or drag out the Boy Scout jokes?  How do you feel about Chuck Norris jokes?  

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol...after no sleep since Wednesday night...thinking the first grade book may be just about the correct speed ;)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.

 

Chuck Norris once swallowed a frog, one day later he and pooped out a tadpole.

 

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

 

When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.

 

Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.

 

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

 

chuckNorris2_logo.png

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

 

knock, knock

Who's there?
Elmo
Elmo who?
You don't know who Elmo is?!

 

Q. Why did the fox cross the road? 

A. To look for the chicken.

 

 

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A. Because chickens weren't invented yet.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:lol:  :lol:  Those are great Karen.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1.  A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

 

2.  ''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

 

3.  ''Dyslexic man walks into a bra''

 

4.  A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''

 

5.   Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.           

 

6.   Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.  'It's not unusual' he replied.     

 

7. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.        

 

8.  A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.''           

 

9..  I went to the doctor's the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.   

 

10.  My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.    

 

11.  I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.          

 

12.  A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''     

 

13.   I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.  

 

14.   ''My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!!.''         

 

15.    Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.        

 

16.  A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''

 

17..  A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''       

 

18.  The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

https://scontent-a-pao.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/t1.0-9/296031_401154889939564_499705971_n.jpg

Let's see if that link works...made me laff...which obviously isn't tough today ;)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

smilie.gif

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My hubs keeps saying....what are you laughing at?  So good to laugh.

 

Colleen

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A bus filled with politicians on the campaign trail was driving through the countryside. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, lost control and went off a bridge. 

A farmer living nearby heard the horrible crash and rushed out to discover the wreckage. With grim determination, he buried the politicians. 

The next day, the police came to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" 

The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

 

tractor-smiley-emoticon.gif

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

An elderly couple went into a doctor. They told the doctor "We’re having some trouble with our sex life. Could you watch and offer some suggestions?"

The doctor replied, "I’m not a sex therapist. You should find someone else."

The couple said, "No, No, we trust you."

After watching them make love, the doctor said, "You don’t seem to be having any troubles. I wish my sex life was as good. I can’t give you any suggestions."

This was repeated the next week and also the third week. After they had finished on the third week, the doctor said, "You aren’t having any trouble. Is this your idea of kinky sex?"

The man replied, "No, actually the problem is if we have sex at my house, my wife will catch us. If we have sex at her house, her husband will catch us. The motel charges us $75, and we can’t afford that. You only charge $50, and Medicare pays half of that."

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hubs home...off to pharm then date with pillow ... Thank you all for keeping my spirits up!

All tests except some blood for inflammation were good...likely contracted some sort of viral infection that caused inflammation at the base of brain/neck...got meds to manage until we see primary on Monday at which time I hope he'll already be kicking this bitch.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hubs home...off to pharm then date with pillow ... Thank you all for keeping my spirits up!

All tests except some blood for inflammation were good...likely contracted some sort of viral infection that caused inflammation at the base of brain/neck...got meds to manage until we see primary on Monday at which time I hope he'll already be kicking this bitch.

 

Hope you are both able to rest well tonight. 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
0

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      102,705
    • Total Posts
      914,501
  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Celiac in 10 month old?
      only the first one is a celiac test.  and you need the rest of them run.  What country are you in?
    • Second Panel has come back...advice?
      If you follow the gluten-free diet correctly, without being paranoid about it either......your DGP will drop because you won't be eating the food that makes it rise.  I think having a gluten-free house is a great idea because it allows you to relax in your own home. As for reading labels all the time, I have a few comments on that one.  In the beginning, and depending on just how much processed foods you plan on eating, it is a good idea to get into the habit of reading labels.  You learn how to do that correctly from experience.  However, in 11 years gluten free, I have never once seen any processed food I have bought that changed their ingredients. I'm sure it can happen but I've never seen it. Usually, with higher end brands, they never do that because if the product is a success, they don't mess with it.  I can't speak for generic or store brands because I do not buy them. I do not eat a lot of processed foods either. If you are buying a product specifically geared towards the Celiac population and is certified gluten-free, you do not have to check the label unless you have other food intolerance's. Glutino and the other companies which market a gluten-free line of products will not change their ingredients and put something in there we cannot have. Whole Foods Market Gluten Free Bakery line....same thing.  They are all dedicated facilities that make food for Celiac's and are not a worry. I am from New England and buy B & M baked beans, which are gluten free. They are a New England company and haven't changed their recipe for years and years...in fact, maybe never.  Those beans are an institution around here and they will not change their ingredients that have been popular for a very long time.....they have been around since my great-grandmother's time. I buy the basic ones without the added flavorings like onion, etc. I can't speak for every flavor they produce because I eat only the basic beans. But I no longer check the label....don't have to. The company specifically told me they don't mess with success and would not change ingredients. Supplements are something you need to read labels on every time but food items are a little different and you will become very good at understanding the whole thing the longer you do it. It becomes second nature. I am very happy you are on your way to a much healthier life! 
    • Nation's First Free Food Pantry for People with Food Allergies or Celiac Disease
      Kansas is wheat country, and like the rest of America, Kansans are generally not gluten-free. That means the food in their charity food pantries are not usually gluten-free. View the full article
    • Celiac in 10 month old?
      This is a link that will explain sreun panels for infants under 2 years of age. http://www.thepatientceliac.com/2013/04/18/update-on-celiac-disease-screening-in-infants-and-toddlers/ The author of that is a doctor, has celiac herself, and is a member of celiac.com. Here is a link that tells you about her: http://www.thepatientceliac.com/about-me/   This link will also give you information: http://www.beyondceliac.org/living-with-celiac-disease/info-for-parents/testing/ Quoting from it in part: Celiac Disease Testing in Children Under 3 Blood tests are not always accurate in very young children. If your child is less than 3 years old, you may be advised to see a gastroenterologist instead of relying on blood tests results.
    • Celiac in 10 month old?
      That was not a full celiac blood panel that was done. Plus, as I understand it, at that age the DGP is more likely to be high rather than the others. Here is the full celiac blood panel: Anti-Gliadin (AGA) IgA
      Anti-Gliadin (AGA) IgG
      Anti-Endomysial (EMA) IgA
      Anti-Tissue Transglutaminase (tTG) IgA
      Deamidated Gliadin Peptide (DGP) IgA and IgG
      Total Serum IgA   
      Also can be termed this way: Endomysial Antibody IgA
      Tissue Transglutaminase IgA 
      GLIADIN IgG
      GLIADIN IgA
      Total Serum IgA 
      Deamidated Gliadin Peptide (DGP) IgA and IgG  
  • Upcoming Events

  • Blog Entries

  • Recent Status Updates

  • Who's Online (See full list)

  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      59,744
    • Most Online
      1,763

    Newest Member
    Anakinsmom2
    Joined