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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Sequel

TriticusToxicum
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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

What did the vegetarian zombie eat?

 

 

Graaaaaaaaains!

 

 

zombie.gif

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mushroom
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Daring doctors delve deeply, discovering diseased duodenae, distorted ducts and diverticulosis; don't doubt diagnosis!!!

psawyer
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It has been a long time since this topic was active, but there may be a silly resurrection in the wind. 

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IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

What did the vegetarian zombie eat?

 

 

Graaaaaaaaains!

 

 

zombie.gif

z3.gif  lol

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moosemalibu Collaborator
moosemalibu
Posted

7fef29b68e9883cb2a37e65f9e2060e5e13cedca

 

I have been dealing with potty training a 3 year old beagle rescue... and this is humorous yet totally my life.  ::face palm::

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

:lol:   :lol:   :lol:   :lol:   :lol:

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GottaSki Mentor
GottaSki
Posted

7fef29b68e9883cb2a37e65f9e2060e5e13cedca

 

I have been dealing with potty training a 3 year old beagle rescue... and this is humorous yet totally my life.  ::face palm::

Lmao...just had a visit from my kids, kidlets and their two dogs...great dogs, but the youngest somehow forgot the way to the back yard...doh! Been a long time since I stepped in poop ... Um don't think I ever have in the house .. Now where is that cute vomit dude when I need him?

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LauraTX Rising Star
LauraTX
Posted

When I was 16, we were making a 7 hour road trip to visit family that we do fairly often.  This time it was special, because the girlfriend who my dad eventually married was with us, and we were getting in some quality time together.  We got stuck in traffic on I-20 in rural Louisiana, and sat in the same place for 3 hours since there was a jackknifed truck or something of the like.  Eventually everyone had their cars turned off and were sitting there napping, etc... and the whole time I kept smelling something bad.  I couldn't figure it out... I asked my dad if he farted, he said he would have owned up to it.  So, eventually I came to the conclusion that his girlfriend was farting and not saying anything, so I asked her a few times and she denied it.  I think my dad was starting to think this as well.

 

A few minutes later as I am getting all antsy from sitting forever, I gaze down and there is something on my shoe.  I reach out to touch it to see what it is and JUST as soon as I stick my finger on it I realize it is dog poop.  Commence crying freakout.  Luckily we got cleared out of there soon after and I remember my now step mom helping me as I was crying in the restroom of a gas station.... I had just bought those new shoes with my own money and I threw them out!  LOL.....  my aunt felt bad and bought me new shoes when I was there visiting.

 

It was my first great bonding experience with my stepmom, LOL.  I still say sorry to her for thinking she wasn't owning up to it!  

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GottaSki Mentor
GottaSki
Posted

Great memory Laura and a good poop story. So many of our smelly stories are funny after a bit of time and distance ;)

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IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

It was my first great bonding experience with my stepmom, LOL.  I still say sorry to her for thinking she wasn't owning up to it!  

 

yes, nothing says "it's great getting to know you" like farts and poop. It's how I bonded with J's mother.

yeah, she had a bowel resection surgery  and guess what newly wed got to empty her portable potty for her and help her wipe her butt? It wasn't him.

And yet, she never could warm up to me. (and that's putting it mildly). Poor grouchy thing. 

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

A joke -

What's brown and sticky?

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IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

A joke -

What's brown and sticky?

 snort...um, Laura's shoe?

 

j/k ...do tell! lol

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

A stick!

smiley-face-poke.gif

Were you thinking something else? :)

Dumb 4 year old joke

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IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

A stick!

smiley-face-poke.gif

Were you thinking something else? :)

Dumb 4 year old joke

 

 

Don't poke fun at me for not figuring it out. I'm a LOT older than 4.  ^_^

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

10352554_489860114478357_637170943578460

 

 

 

But at least its gluten-free?

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GottaSki Mentor
GottaSki
Posted (edited)

100% of all peeps exposed to water will die...roflmao

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

That is funny stuff, right there...I do believe I'll be stealing that line very soon :P

 

I am so happy to have a line to counter one of hubs favorites :D

 

"Life causes Death."

Edited by GottaSki
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IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

10352554_489860114478357_637170943578460

 

 

 

But at least its gluten-free?

 

 

are you sure, because "I HEARD THAT...."

 

 

100% of all peeps exposed to water will die...roflmao

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

That is funny stuff, right there...I do believe I'll be stealing that line very soon :P

 

I am so happy to have a line to counter one of hubs favorites :D

 

"Life causes Death."

 

 

yup 

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shampoo, soap and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical womans's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of those items.

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GottaSki Mentor
GottaSki
Posted

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shampoo, soap and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical womans's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of those items.

Thanks for the giggles...Hubs back in ER...keep the silly stuff flowing please :)

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IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shampoo, soap and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical womans's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of those items.

 

In this case, i am happy to say "I am not your typical woman"...337? what the...? that's crazy....Just for fun, I may go and count later....

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IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

Thanks for the giggles...Hubs back in ER...keep the silly stuff flowing please :)

 

uh-oh....what happened???

edit: okay, saw your email from the middle of the night...hope they found out what's going on by now, Prayers and love sent.

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IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted
 
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.

On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came around,
he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake,
Paddy, stepped out of the boat ... and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him back into the boat and safety.

 Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.

 'Grandma,' he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like me farder, his farder, and his farder before him?"

 Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said,"Because ye farder, ye grandfarder and ye great-grandfarder were all born in January, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fookin idiot!"
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GF Lover Rising Star
GF Lover
Posted

Evidently I should not drink coffee while at the computer or maybe I need a "Coffee Proof" one?  And Irish, I am sending you some shirts to launder since YOU caused the "coffee spits"  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

sipping-smiley-emoticon.gif

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IrishHeart Veteran
IrishHeart
Posted

Evidently I should not drink coffee while at the computer or maybe I need a "Coffee Proof" one?  And Irish, I am sending you some shirts to launder since YOU caused the "coffee spits"  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

sipping-smiley-emoticon.gif

 

 

well, then, looks like my work here is finished. 

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

How does NASA organize a party?

astronaut-smiley-emoticon-animation.gif

They PLANET!

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GottaSki Mentor
GottaSki
Posted

Lol :)

Times two.

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Apparently, today is a national holiday!  Blame Someone Else Day!

 

to celebrate, my hub's work group are having a potluck lunch.  Everyone is bringing dessert.  They will blame the calories on someone else.

 

Blame.webp

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