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Repercussions Of Cheating! :(


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40 replies to this topic

#31 Adalaide

 
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Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:37 PM

As pointed out, this wasn't a reaction to a single post. There was much loving guidance given over weeks. It didn't sink in. Many of us, frustrated and seeing someone literally killing herself in front of her children and husband, thought that at this point maybe cold, hard reality upside the head would sink in where everything else failed. It wasn't out of anything else but the same caring we feel for everyone in this situation but nothing was getting through and an attempt needed to be made to make her see she is going to spiral down the path many here have been on if she doesn't get it together.

Know what? I cried and cried too, in stores, at home, everywhere. We all did. I haven't forgotten what it is like to be new at this. I also never once considered throwing in the towel and saying it isn't worth the effort. In my very first post here, a week gluten free what did I say? I explained my story and asked for reassurance that I'm not crazy, that it gets easier and for encouragement. I never wanted an out.

Another admission, I'm on food stamps. There. I manage just fine. I stay away from gluten free foods meant to replace gluten foods with the exception of one single loaf of bread a month. I eat vegetables, fruits, meats and naturally gluten free grains. It is actually far cheaper now than it was a year ago to eat. I find that now I actually have the spare money to occasionally indulge in "fancy" $5 salad dressing I've always wanted to try or something like that. Because I'm not wasting all my money on processed, nutritionally devoid crap. And, this is a problem lots of people have and I used to too, if you have money for McDonalds, you have money for more important things. Unless you are literally dying, (as in low blood sugar, in which case a sugary soda for $1 will help while not a great option) we, collectively as celiacs, are better off hungry than eating something unsafe.
  • 3

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#32 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:51 PM

Addy,

oh hon, you did not have to disclose that information, sweetie....but "good on you" for showing solidarity.

Ravenwoodglass and Not me! and others have offered assistance with meal planning, too.

I hope the OP sees we ARE IN HER CORNER and the best support she could ever have.

That's all I ever tried to do. I think I am done here.

My best wishes to all. xx
  • 0

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#33 Celiac Mindwarp

 
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Posted 28 November 2012 - 01:12 AM

OP
I hope you can see people want to help. We were scared for you. It is great you have decided never to eat gluten again.

I lost my job and am now to sick to work. Our income is a third what it used to be. I had to move house because of it to a new cheaper town. I have picked up loads of tips on money saving here.

I hope you can stay on the board. Maybe see if there is a support group near you

More good wishes
  • 1
- Symptoms from 2001, maybe before. Across 20+ years, these have included, vomiting, D, migraines, headaches, recurrent miscarriage, inflammation problems (failure to heal from injuries) brain fog, anxiety and more!
- Elimination diet using Atkins, 2003 – excluded wheat, caffeine, quorn. 2005, excluded sesame, alcohol
- Started diagnosis route April 2012, blood tests, endoscopy – said negative, gluten challenge, clearly something very wrong, had to stop after 3 weeks.
- Gluten Free, August 2012, Corn Free, September 2012. Removed most processed gluten free foods.
- Genetic testing, December 2012 – negative – Diagnosis – Non Celiac Gluten Intolerance (NCGI)
- Elimination diet, January 2013 – all of the above plus dairy, legumes, all grains, sugar, additives, white potatoes, soy. Reintroducing sloooowly now. Health improving.
It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer. ~Albert Einstein Posted Image

#34 Gemini

 
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Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:27 AM

And one more thing .....because it was not lost on me, because I DO READ every single word someone writes--

Colleen, my sweet!!

My love and support to you. I know we talk on PMs, but I want you to know that I hold you in my thoughts every single day.
Your are a warrior princess, honey. Keep me posted.

And for the record, with all due respect,
I do not know why I need anyone to chastise me or to apologize on my behalf for anything I said , as I simply offered words in support.

As we all did.

NOTE: This AM, 2 members have expressed the same discomfort at having their words "interpreted as pounding on her " and did not like having someone apologize on their behalf either.

This is a forum of support, not enabling.

I will never, ever say eating at McDonald's is a good thing. Sorry. I won't.

With all loving kindness, IH


Nice reply, IrishHeart! I couldn't have said it better. Thank you!

Let it be known that no one should do a blanket apology for anyone else. The OP deserved the verbal spank that she got. To come on a Celiac forum where the vast majority of people are trying hard to better their health and be taken seriously for once in their lives, and admit to repeated cheating and then laughing it off, even with adding the disclaimer that they have learned their lesson, is insulting to everyone trying hard to be gluten-free. I can see cheating for maybe a month until reality sets in but more than that, you deserve what you get. I don't like snarky attitudes and I don't like people back-peddling and apologizing for perceived bad behavior. Adults do not behave that way....in theory, that is. Reality seems to say otherwise.

I'm sure the OP will be back when her gluten head clears and she is ready to take this seriously. There is too much good information here and the support system could not be better.
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#35 Gemini

 
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Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:33 AM

Another admission, I'm on food stamps. There. I manage just fine. I stay away from gluten free foods meant to replace gluten foods with the exception of one single loaf of bread a month. I eat vegetables, fruits, meats and naturally gluten free grains. It is actually far cheaper now than it was a year ago to eat. I find that now I actually have the spare money to occasionally indulge in "fancy" $5 salad dressing I've always wanted to try or something like that. Because I'm not wasting all my money on processed, nutritionally devoid crap. And, this is a problem lots of people have and I used to too, if you have money for McDonalds, you have money for more important things. Unless you are literally dying, (as in low blood sugar, in which case a sugary soda for $1 will help while not a great option) we, collectively as celiacs, are better off hungry than eating something unsafe.


Addy...as a working person with a good job, I am only too happy to provide food assistance, through my taxes, to those falling on harder times....especially those who try so hard to eat healthy and gluten free. Good for you! I wish everyone had your mentality about food. Receiving assistance, when needed, should not be something to hide. It is expensive to eat healthy, as opposed to eating garbage, but it's money well spent.
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#36 GF Lover

 
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Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:43 AM

I am also on Federal Assistance, I receive Social Security Disability. I am eternally grateful that I do. Like others with limited funds, I do just fine getting healthy food.

Let's see, a meal at McDonalds is about 5 bucks or something (I haven't been there in so long I can't remember). That will get me a loaf of bread that will last for a few weeks.

One word, "priorities"

Colleen
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#37 GFinDC

 
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Posted 28 November 2012 - 12:15 PM

Nice reply, IrishHeart! I couldn't have said it better. Thank you!

Let it be known that no one should do a blanket apology for anyone else. The OP deserved the verbal spank that she got. To come on a Celiac forum where the vast majority of people are trying hard to better their health and be taken seriously for once in their lives, and admit to repeated cheating and then laughing it off, even with adding the disclaimer that they have learned their lesson, is insulting to everyone trying hard to be gluten-free. I can see cheating for maybe a month until reality sets in but more than that, you deserve what you get. I don't like snarky attitudes and I don't like people back-peddling and apologizing for perceived bad behavior. Adults do not behave that way....in theory, that is. Reality seems to say otherwise.

I'm sure the OP will be back when her gluten head clears and she is ready to take this seriously. There is too much good information here and the support system could not be better.


Ok, I shouldn't apologize on behalf of other people. You certainly can do that yourselves if you want to.

The OP said clearly in the first post she was not planning to cheat anymore and had learned her lesson the hard way. Why she deserves to be jumped on for not being a perfect gluten-free-er right off the bat is not clear to me. Maybe she should be exactly like you Gemini and IH, and do things exactly as you see fit? Are you her boss? Are you so superior she needs to cowtow to you? I don't think you are. Is your advice so perfect that anybody who disagrees with it is automatically wrong?

If she wants to make a joke about her mistake that is her business. It's not some terrible crime. People joke about celiac on this forum all the time.

I happen to know she was offended by the comments made and may not want to stay on the forum. That is unfortunate as this is a great support forum in many ways. But there is always room for improvement. Normally people here are welcoming and very helpful, including Gemini and IH. But expecting new people to be exactly in tune with your thinking right away is not right. Everybody deserves respect and time to adapt to the change needed to be completely gluten-free. It is easy for some people and it is harder for others. Some people who had more serious symptoms before gluten-free probably found it easy to stick to the gluten-free diet. Others who had less serious symptoms may not have the same motivation. That doesn't mean they are not good people and don't deserve respect and support.

If all your comments are so perfectly ok, why was she offended? Ask yourself that and answer it honestly.
  • 5
Proverbs 25:16 "Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it."
Job 30:27 My bowels boiled, and rested not: the days of affliction prevented me.
Thyroid cyst and nodules, Lactose / casein intolerant. Diet positive, gene test pos, symptoms confirmed by Dr-head. My current bad list is: gluten, dairy, sulfites, coffee (the devil's brew), tea, Bug's Bunnies carrots, garbanzo beans of pain, soy- no joy, terrible turnips, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, and hard work. have a good day! :-) Paul

#38 GottaSki

 
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Posted 28 November 2012 - 01:24 PM

Hi Everyone!

I've read this entire thread and think this is a shining example of how the electronic word can be misunderstood by many.

Perhaps if we were able to sit around one of our kitchen tables and chat together we would see the love and compassion of everyone along with the conviction and epiphony moments clearly.

How about we call this thread done?

To A8: I am thankful that you now see the neccessity of removing all possible gluten from your life and hope you'll come back for support. I think if you look back at your other threads you'll find you have rec'd just that and you are welcome to look for help as you transition to your new gluten-free life.

Hang in there :)


  • 1

-Lisa

Undiagnosed Celiac Disease ~ 43 years

3/26/09 gluten-free - dignosed celiac - blood 3/3/09, biopsy 3/26/09, double DQ2 / single DQ8 positive

10/25/13 - MCAD

Health history since celiac diagnosis became too long -- moved to the "about me" section of my profile

My children and I all have multiple copies of the genes for Celiac Disease, along with large variety of symptoms/resolution gluten-free

Current tally from me, three kids and two grands: 4 diagnosed with Celiac Disease, 2 NCGS

Get PROPERLY tested BEFORE REMOVING GLUTEN.

ALWAYS independently research health related information found on internet forums/blogs.

"LTES" a Gem :)


#39 GFinDC

 
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Posted 28 November 2012 - 02:41 PM

i do apologise myself to IH and Gemeni for being critcial. They are both very helpful to people on this forum and great contributers and sources of wonderful advice. I agree that it is the internet disconnect that causes these kind of misunderstandings. It is just not the same as being face to face with someone. And I know very well they and all the other commenters mean the OP well. Please accept my applogy, as you do deserve one.
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Proverbs 25:16 "Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it."
Job 30:27 My bowels boiled, and rested not: the days of affliction prevented me.
Thyroid cyst and nodules, Lactose / casein intolerant. Diet positive, gene test pos, symptoms confirmed by Dr-head. My current bad list is: gluten, dairy, sulfites, coffee (the devil's brew), tea, Bug's Bunnies carrots, garbanzo beans of pain, soy- no joy, terrible turnips, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, and hard work. have a good day! :-) Paul

#40 IrishHeart

 
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Posted 28 November 2012 - 04:41 PM

Hon, we ALL want to help. It's not just an internet "disconnect"....
I am glad we chatted privately. I appreciate it very much!! xx

I think, somehow, things were misinterpreted. I am not sure how, but it happened.
but, saying we all "mean well" suggests...something otherwise. :( see, it's all in the words.

Here's the thing: the OP is not a "newbie". She has been posting regularly ---and seemingly, not listening ---or trying to help HERSELF.

But if someone new were to look at this thread SINGULARLY, s/he would think we all just seemed "rabid" and crazy and uncaring. Or critical...
:(.
this is not the case at all. I am very upset that anyone would view this helpful advice as anything but loving concern.. even if it sounds like some are "kicking her in the butt".


Here is the one thing was ALL have in common--we want to help anyone who comes on here.
The OP has been given great advice--- for weeks.
This NEW thread? is not her first.
She needs to figure some things out for herself.

We all hope she will come back, read, learn and get well.

Kind regards to all, IH
  • 1

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it makes the difference." Virginia Satir

"The strongest of all warriors are these two - time and patience." Leo Tolstoy

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else" Booker T. Washington

“If idiots could fly, the sky would be like an airport.”― Laura Davenport 

"Do or do not. There is no try. "-  Yoda.

"LTES"  Gem 2014

 

Misdiagnosed for 25+ years; Finally Diagnosed with Celiac  11/01/10.  Double DQ2 genes. This thing tried to kill me. I view Celiac as a fire breathing dragon --and I have run my sword right through his throat.
I. Win. bliss-smiley-emoticon.gif


#41 psawyer

 
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Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:49 PM

This discussion is no longer about the original topic, and having various other members question each other is not of benefit to the original poster. We're done here.
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Peter
Diagnosis by biopsy of practically non-existent villi; gluten-free since July 2000.
Type 1 (autoimmune) diabetes diagnosed in March 1986
Markham, Ontario (borders on Toronto)

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