missy'smom

I am having a hrd time socializing with multiple food allergies on board. I've got about 25 including dairy, soy and gluten(not an allergy ). I find that I am just alone al the time now since everything revolves around food and I truely can't eat a thing and it is just ot working anymore to bring my own.

A big part of my problem is two-fold, besides the actual food. We moved here when I was at my sickest and I went gluten-free just a couple months after but it took a long time to heal and I had undx diabetes at the time too so I didn't go out of the house for a couple years and didn't get connected with people. Now, 6 years later I have been well enough to get out the past 2 years and get to know my way around but I still don't know anyone.

I've searched around for non-food activities that involve meeting people but it's hard to find. All the "meet-ups" and other activities revolve around food-exploring local restauraunts, various potlucks for this group or that etc. I don't feel comfortable bringing my own to a group of strangers. I could and I did in the past but these days but I end up feeling so out of place. I tried again this past weekend with a few of my DH's soccer friends and their wives who I see other places so we know each oth a little but I sat there at the reastaurant with nothing but a cup of water watching them eat and talking about their toddlers and I have a HS kid. I can relate to people in different places in life than me but we are just at such different places and I ended up feeling so out of place with the sum of everything and coming home and crying.

I've thought about becoming the hostess with the mostess to get people into my home and share food that I can eat but it plays against the fact that I am the oldest in my family and the caregiver and I want so much to be the one cared for. So I feel a little resentful about having to serve everyone. I have the skills I just am lacking the desire these days and I don't want to be the super volunteer mom at school in order to meet people either. Maybe I'm being too selfish...

I am not well enough to do strenuous exercize so that cuts out some things and my son is a high-schooler now so all the Mommy" groups are out and I have a feeling 40 something moms are all working...I don't know, what do 40 something moms do? I am becoming my grandma sewing at home and cooking all the time...

I just want to share some thoughts and see what you all think/do since I know there are a number of people here who are casein and soy free in addition to gluten. Dining out for me has been a real comedy of errors lately and has gotten ridiculous. The waitstaff, despite their best efforts get a bit overwhelmed and I just don't enjoy the experience. I get mildly overwhelmed and frustrated too. I have diabetes and a severe latex allergy, which means I can't eat some place due to balloons and others I have to do some advocacy and additional planning/logistics. I've forgotten my meter, my insulin!, had insulin and no needles, ended up with the blandest food, cold food, waiting forever etc. I do call ahead, research online etc. and still these things happen almost every time I eat out these days, well EVERY time for a while.

I went out for Mother's day and honestly only enjoyed the free champagne, the plain strawberries and the donut I brought from home. The meal itself was hardly a meal and not all that tasty. My poor family today had to wait forever and there was cold food and mix-ups. I just really threw the staff out of whack I am afraid.

I've come to the realization recently that it's time for some acceptance and new permanent plan to move forward.

Part of that may mean more effort in the home kitchen. I have sufficient skills but resist a lot because it is so much work and I feel resentful. I'd like to be using my energy for other things and spending a lot of time in the kitchen makes me feel even more isolated from people. I do have many more allergies than just those 3 so even at home it can be a challenge. That's why I am very patient with restaurant staff ;)I don't tell them or overwhelm them with the others, I just watch out carefully, ask for changes and ask ?'s if needed But those oters really don't matter that much in the greater picture, soy, dairy and gluten wipe 95% or more of the menues items off.

Maybe I need to try to invite people over more. I haven't come to terms with serving my meals/dishes to others yet. For potluck style stuff I feel resentful that mine costs so much more both due to specialty products and due to eating larger portions of fresh meat and such and if I bring something I am contributing a huge amount but can't take anything that others bring-it's imbalanced. Serving one or a few in my home might be a better balance. I haven't explored that idea much. I also hesitate to share my food since it is so different from how others eat and so simple. It's just not the type of food that you get excited about eating. It is the type of stuff that you'd pass over if you had a choice, not us here, but most people in that other world. Lately at church there is one lady who is gluten-free, CF so when I make something for Easter or Xmas or an occasional tea time I know she will appreciate it since she doesn't bake much and is somewhat new to living in the US again and gluten-free here.

I need to figure out the restaurant plan too. I tire of steamed salmon and asparagus with no carb. I don't like steak. All the carbs have butter. I could have had blackened salmon and steamed asparagus with no carb today, but the pity party side of me said I always have salmon and asparagus and with no carb it felt like an incomplete meal. Most salad dressings have soy. Today there was a salad dressing that had no soy but I couldn't come up with anything else that went with it well-all the options clashed flavor wise. Desserts are out too. I did get strawberries but I eat them at home and if I get any dessert out, it's strawberries. I need a new perspective on eating out I think because I have realised this year that this soy allergy is permanent and serious so my very limited, repetitive menue options, I am afraid will not change. So my perspective must, unless someone has some ideas/suggestions for menue items.

Today I deferred my expectations/desires because family time was important-it was 2 family member's B'days and my sis is soon to be a mom and I won't see here for maybe a few months.

How do you all manage the practical and emotional side of this?

Anyone tried baking with no starches in their blend?

I am allergic to tapioca, potato and corn now:( I can use arrowroot, but find it too strong in flavor to use much of. I had read that maybe sweet rice flour can be subbed, at least for part of the starches and tried that as a sub for a very small amount of the starch in a muffin recipe that had cornstarch in it for the other part and it worked well, but that was the batch that convinced me of my issues with corn No flax or almond here either.

Anyone? is it possible? or have I lost all baked goods for the time being?

I think I lost potatoes today bound to happen Good thing I get my endo and colonoscopy next week.

Anyway, I need another food to rotate in. I am thinking of trying another variety of beans. Chickpeas are already in but I can't decide which bean is up next and what to do with it. Chickpeas are so easy, just dump on a salad. What are some ideas on easy ways to use specific varieties of beans?

No tomatoes or bell peppers or dairy or soy. Thanks.

Someone mentioned on another thread that they had lots of goodies stashed and planned to try to use them up before buying new. That made me think that would be a good idea for a thread. I'd like to take this time to clean out my pantry and freezer and start fresh, plus it helps the budget just after the holidays and may give us all some new ideas.

Here's what and how I used up today and plans for upcoming days:

Brown rice in the fridge and small amount of leftover sauteed zucchini
plus hamburger cabbage soup from the freezer all went into that soup for lunch.

I have a goal to use up the pesto I made last year that's in the freezer, some went into pasta today.

Leftover cranberry sauce gets stirred into yogurt later in the week for kiddo's breakfast.

Leftover Xmas ham and leftover white rice get warmed up in the microwave with shredded cheddar and frozen broccoli for kiddo's school lunch tomorrow(in a thermos).