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Marg E

Member Since 01 Jan 2007
Offline Last Active Jan 14 2007 03:45 PM
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Posts I've Made

In Topic: Anyone Have A Challenging Family Member?

09 January 2007 - 04:23 PM

PS I hear about lots of friends having problems with grandparents in general. It's a pity that some grandparents just don't realise that if they played it well, kept unsolicited advice/opinions/gossip to themselves, offered help (once not 20 times), if they are given an inch they don't try and take a mile, accept their sons/daughters family rules, and were just easier to have around then couples would relax, and welcome them with open arms, call them up and include them all the time. It's a bit of a game, take your ego out of it, play it well and reap the rewards.

In Topic: Anyone Have A Challenging Family Member?

09 January 2007 - 04:12 PM

Cassidy, for what it's worth a new viewpoint...

Someone once said when you have kids then your responsibility for your parents shifts towards you being responsible for your child first. That's the way society works. And your child will have to then look after his or her child over you. They also say you must protect your marriage first because you might end up divorced and then your child suffers. This mentality might help ease the guilt factor.

I totally sympathise. Your mother's behaviour is not acceptable! Manipulation from parents can cause problems in a marriage (including just being sick of talking about it!). Whether you can get her illness dealt with or not, you're gonna have to get even more clever! for your own self preservation. There are techniques out there to help you deflect/deal with her issues. Perhaps when she's asking you for advice about her life (attention seeking) you should just say Sorry ma I just don't know. I'm not up on finances, perhaps speak to a financial advisor/doctor/specialist. That way you don't get drawn into it (and there's no backlash of oh you don't care etc) Another line (even if it's not true - who cares about a white lie if it saves days of arguing, stress etc) is 'doctor's orders' no one can argue with that! 'It's not good for the baby...' Choose your battles, set boundaries for the most important things ie she can wait a week after the baby is born. You might feel you need time to recover (you don't know what the birth will be like), time to bond, time as a family with your husband.

Your mother (and I think many grandparents need to realise this) has had her turn - now it's YOUR turn. A well-respected psycologist says 'grandparents don't have rights. It's a privilege.' In other words, if they are causing problems to your family, in extreme cases, they shouldn't see the kids for a while until they prepared to respect your family's boundaries and rules. You are your own family unit now with your own ways of doing things.

Also, it sounds like she doesn't have much of a life to focus on/occupy herself. Perhaps as a Christmas/birthday present you could buy her classes (there are cheap ones, esp if she's about 60 plus) like cooking, computer or whatever she might like so she has to attend. She'll meet people, it'll give her something to talk/obsess about etc. Even better if you/your grandma/your mother's friends (if sympathetic) could somehow get her involved in a 'cause' or a community organisation. Even if it just gives her another cross to bear it'll take the heat off you. At the end of hte day, sometimes it helps (when you are worrying about her) that you can't change people (unless they want to change of course). You can only change how you deal with it.
Best of luck x

In Topic: A Question For Those With Constipation Problems

09 January 2007 - 02:42 PM

I drink dandelion coffee (the granules not the tea bags, the latter doesn't work as well) from the health shop, seems to help me go v regularly. Seems to stimulate my liver and get everything working well and I feel really good on it. Just one cup and not even every day.

In Topic: Scotland

04 January 2007 - 06:21 PM

Taylor,
Most pubs in Edinburgh do a (v cheap and big portion) baked potato with cheese, salad, tuna etc. Watch the cheese as it might be bought pre-grated and have an anti-caking agent. Baked potatoes are a Scottish staple so you'll get them in almost every restaurant and you can always just go with tuna and salad to be safe. The Mount Royal Hotel (on Princess St) near Jenners has fantastic food for lunch, you can get a baked potato there that's OK (check the cheese again though, it's been a while) and has fantastic views of the castle. It's warm and cosy, cheap prices and a well kept secret. Also go to The Elephant House (on George IV Bridge just off the Royal Mile) and sit out the back (it looks nothing from the front) - brilliant views and I've eaten there although can't remember what. Worth it for the views.

Tesco's supermarket lists known allergens on all their food labels so eating in is easy, and Marks and Spencers has some gluten-free stuff. Do the open top bus tour. And an underground city tour (Mary King's Close) in the Royal Mile is an absolute must! The Scots are really accommodating so you can always bring a gluten-free Marks and Spencers microwave meal and they'll heat it up if you're with a group that's eating. Have fun!

In Topic: Camping

04 January 2007 - 06:06 PM

Love camping! Baked potatoes in the camp fire (wrapped in tin foil cook really fast) or a camp oven are great. Tinned vegies, Woolworths in Australia do gluten-free packet pasta mixes with the sauce that are edible. Lots of nuts, dried fruit, fresh fruit. Everyone ate a huge breakfast (cereal, gluten-free sausage, gluten-free bacon, egg, gluten-free bread toasted) had a muesli bar/snack for lunch and ate a dinner, which lasted us and I eat tons. If you're in a hot country and have a car with you, pack an esky with plastic milk bottles filled with frozen water along the bottom, park in the shade of a tree and your meat (which must be frozen when you set off) stays cool for a few days. That was with a six hour drive to our destination. Or you can always buy a camping fridge for the car (expensive though). Love to hear anyone else's suggestions.