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UR Groovy

Member Since 08 Jan 2007
Offline Last Active Private
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Posts I've Made

In Topic: Edit Button Gone?

29 September 2008 - 02:30 PM

The risk is the same for all of us. You have no control over how people interpret your words, no matter how carefully you choose them.

I just figure if somebody wants to put a negative spin on my words, it's just a reflection of their own unhappiness. Maybe I can change that, maybe I can't, but I know I'll feel bad if I haven't at least offered my opinion. And my happiness is something I can control.


I hear what you're saying, and I feel the same. I suppose that's why I do reply, and why I'll most likely continue to reply, despite my desire to withdraw myself from the forum. Everyone here takes that risk, and I know that. Thanks for offering up your opinion ;) :lol:

k

In Topic: Edit Button Gone?

29 September 2008 - 02:01 PM

Kat,

We all share pieces of ourselves with the hopes that we can help someone. That's what this board is about. There is a lot of support given here. It's here to take or here to give.



You do good. Don't stop.


Thank You, I appreciate that.

I guess the fact (if you'll all indulge me) is that communication is much more than a bunch of words in a post. Believe me, I'm a huge fan of words, context, grammar, if you will, but readers can't hear Vibe. What I'm communicating now is just more of the same ... will it be misunderstood? Possibly, in fact, probably, it will - at least to some degree. Am I over-thinking? Maybe, but what happens when the wrong person says the right thing and it's taken the wrong way? I make so much more sense in person. I don't think I'm alone in this - I just think I'm less of a risk-taker than most. I'm just decreasing the odds of accidentally making someone feel crummy. I don't want to be responsible for making someone else feel crummy just because they can't hear the inflection in my voice. I'm not bummed or anything. I'm happy as a clam to stay out of forums, where things such as this exist for me. Nothing happened today or with the other thread that hasn't occurred to me many times in the past. The only difference now is that what I said before can't be changed - at least not without the type of effort that I'm not really willing to put into it.

{{{{Insert emoticon: Left eyebrow raised, head slightly cocked to the right, mouth opened slightly, half-smiling and a deep breath IN that suggests that I'm not really stoked about it, but that's the way it is.}}}}

{{{{Insert emoticon: A content smile with a message:}}}}
LOVE

In Topic: Edit Button Gone?

29 September 2008 - 10:38 AM

In this situation, use the report button at the bottom left of your post to notify the moderators. We will be happy to make the post disappear in such circumstances.


Yes, I could do that, I just don't want to. I guess I'm just not a message board person - that's okay with me. I guess it's that I say things that I wish I hadn't, even though I really do feel that way - at the time - my bad. Part of it is that through these last 2 years gluten-free, my opinions have changed at times. I sometimes don't feel like I did last year, or eve 5 minutes ago. I wish i didn't care about people who are struggling, but I do, and so i let a little piece of me go out there. I offer it up because maybe it'll help someone, but then I realize how rediculous it is that I think I can take a piece of me and help someone else with it. Nonsense. I own this.

I think I won't be back here to post again, but there may come a time when I feel differently.

thanks for everything, Safe Travels, Take care, yadda,yadda,yadda ...
k

In Topic: gluten-free, Df, And Everything Else-f..ruining My Life

29 September 2008 - 09:58 AM

Oh, blast - I forgot you can't edit anymore. I'm not down with that. I won't be back, thanks.

In regards to my previous post: Jason, it's none of my business how you look at it, and I wish I hadn't replied. It was well-intended, and I hope you're feeling better every day.


Take care,
k

In Topic: gluten-free, Df, And Everything Else-f..ruining My Life

29 September 2008 - 07:48 AM

Hi There Jason,

I think I've pissed you off before, and I'm sorry for that. I keep staying away from your posts because I don't want to piss you off - my goal is to send you one of these: :) I just have to tell you this, because maybe it'll help a little. I hope so ... or maybe it'll help someone else - I don't know.

One of the things that most of us have in common here is that we have had to adjust our lifestyles and see life through a new set of eyes. For some, the transition has been fairly easy - but that's not the way it usually goes. Typically, we are fearful about how we're perceived by others - we're disturbed by the insensitivity of others who don't understand what it's like for us - we feel that this whole thing is unjust, and others should understand that ... many of us have been very ill and paid a lot of money.

There may be a difference between who it's easy for and who it's not. I struggled for about 6-8 months with some of these issues - the social eating thing was huge, so I'll address only that. I don't know about others and how they overcame it, but I would be interested to know.

I'm gonna just throw this out there - I don't know what you're like in your daily life, so you may already have a grip on this ... I don't know, but ...

I dislike the phrase 'aha moment', but I'm going to use it anyway. At some point, probably my biggest aha moment happened. I realized that I don't need to defend this to anyone. These are the facts: When I eat out or in a social situation, I need to adjust my expectations of what I can and can't eat. I'm not asking anyone else to adjust anything - except maybe the restaurant we choose. Everybody else who's watching and possibly judging me can deal with it - it's my problem, not theirs, so go judge something or somebody else. These are the facts: I cannot eat a bunch of crap that's going to make me sick. Would you eat stuff that makes you sick? Oh, sure, I could take the risk, but the cost is too much, so deal with it. Once I stopped defending my position & began stating it as fact, most of the judgements stopped, and life became a bit easier (BTW, it's a confident fact - there's no apology or defensive tone involved). I began to accept this fact in my life and adjust accordingly. Now, I rarely offend anyone, and I pretty much never get 'the look'. Mostly, people are interested in this fact - the interest wanes, the subject goes away, and is accepted as fact. Sometimes, it happens - the look -, but I don't really care. I cannot eat it, or take the risk.

It took a high level of acceptance to pull it off - ya can't fight it. Acceptance is crucial. It's true - sometimes, when I'm in a restaurant situation, I can't have the linguine with clams, but that's the fact - I can't. My only 2 options are these: Get sick - really sick, or eat a fruit plate or something. I take comfort in the facts now. I don't have to defend them - what's to defend? There's no argument anywhere in there - it's just the truth. I deal with it ... I do, and it changed me to some degree. Call it a life lesson for me. I state the facts, and when I do, I find that people will generally find that a very attractive trait.

What's true for me may not be true for anyone else, but it's the facts - the truth, at least for me.

Take care,
k