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Female
My good friends know of my dire situation so they take it upon themselves, after a learning process highly facilitated by me, to make sure that I am safe (special cutting boards for me, calling to read me ingredient lists from packages, etc), but those not as close as they are might not completely understand, or 'get it'. That means that it is my responsibility to take care of myself that night and ensure that I am safe (until the world is a better place and we're not such a SHOCK to everyone).
If I am uncomfortable inserting myself into the necessary food conversations, or perhaps it's not entirely appropriate for whatever reason (that's up to you to decide), I make sure I am either not hungry or I bring my own food. Whether you're diagnosed or not, stating a "severe reaction to certain foods" should be enough to start the pertinent conversations. You'll get more comfortable with those conversations the more you have them. Eventually you might even get to the point where the explanation includes "if you want anyone else to be able to use the restroom this evening it might be a good idea for us to talk about the menu"!, for those who still have reservations. Talking to the chef, organizer, caterer, those are all requests that are not unheard of, nor are they asking too much
Often it can be difficult to accommodate our extreme sensitivities, which is why I always have food in my purse. Sure, you're going to miss out on some awesome food here and there, but you won't be sick afterward! I don't like to take any risks so unless I can talk to someone who cooked it, I won't touch it. The people around you will be curious and ask why you're not eating, or why you just pulled a small meal out of your bag. That gives you the opportunity to educate people that might not otherwise learn about the difficulties the gluten sensitive/allergic/intolerant face in these situations that others might just take for granted.
Hope that helps? Good luck!!
