Iím a damn good cook. Thereís little I make that isnít better than what you get in restaurants. When I do want to go out, I can have curries, sushi, or hearty meat meals, things I would have shied away from before due to lack of experience or cost. Now, it just is, and I enjoy it when I can.
I eat healthy. I choose to avoid most gluten-free alternatives and stick with fresh fruits, vegetables, and proteins. I LOVE raw, sprouted smoothies. Asian and Mediterranean spice mixes are my all time favorite options. I go nuts over a raw pizza crust I make that is better than any pizza crust Iíve ever tasted (with the exception of NYC deep dish, but how often can you find a good one anyway?)
Iíve learned to love my sense of smell. I can take a big, thick whiff of yummy foods, and remember that while they smell amazing, they felt terrible going down. I remember how miserable I was EVERY DAY of my life, for years. I think of that any time thereís an icing I think I have to have, and enjoy the scents of things.
Not sure if this will help, but try to get off as much sugar and fake sugar as you can and envelope yourself with good, whole foods. I was a junk food junkie. It was horrid. Breads, pastas, Doritos, potato chips, French fries, etc. Now, I canít imagine eating like that. It doesnít even look appealing. Your taste buds and desires can change. I promise.
All that said, itís okay to vent. You are allowed. We all do. As long as you get back to the parts you can be thankful for and ignore the rest 99% of the time, you sound pretty normal to me. Hang in there.