Hi, I'm the original poster here. Thank you SO MUCH, everyone, for your responses, whether to commiserate or ask me to clarify things. I truly appreciate it! Just to clear a few things up...my teen is really pretty chill about her celiac. She has been taking her own food everywhere for awhile. To be honest, this issue is my own irritation with my mother-in-law. I pretend it's my daughter feeling awkward but it's really me being pissed off that she's putting forth zero effort after inviting us over!!!
Like I said, my daughter is used to eating before she goes to peoples' houses or bringing gluten-free cereal to hotels that offer buffet breakfasts. The thing that gets me about this situation is that it is her OWN GRANDMOTHER, and she should not have to tote a bag of gluten-free bagels to her own grandmother's house!!! My in-laws definitely have worked with us in the past with accommodating her. It's not that they don't care about her--they do, and once we're at their house they will be careful when it comes to cross-contamination, etc. But Adalaide, you are right: They are lazy in the kitchen in general, not so careful about their own diets, so they don't seem to want to go out of their way to find the safe food in the first place. They have done so in the past, but seem to be getting lazier about everything. I guess they figure we have the gluten-free bread at home, so why not just ask us to tote it along instead of making an effort to go to the gluten-free section at the store. Meanwhile, my brother-in-law runs around to different stores to find things for my daughter when he cooks for her once or twice a year. Such a difference in effort, and so very much appreciated!!!
Frieze, you asked if my in-laws are on a fixed income. Not in the least. Plenty of cash there. That is not the issue at all.
Massagemamaof3 and Mommy2krj, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with thoughtless relatives yourselves. I guess there is a whole spectrum of behaviors, from indifference to downright hostility. Wow. Let us all take deep breaths and smile and move on, right?