Thanks, all, for agreeing with me. When I met the father last year and he told me that she eats soy sauce, I immediately wondered what the deal was with this family. Also, the mom told me that after being diagnosed at age two they never bothered getting the kid any further bloodwork or follow-up testing. My daughter was diagnosed a year ago and we have been SO CAREFUL. Her TtG at diagnosis was 169 and now it is 2. She had tremendous intestinal damage and very few symptoms. I know from experience that if she accidentally eats gluten she does not feel it. But those biopsy pictures proved all the damage. I think this family is pretty ignorant, but of course they know better because after all their daughter has had it for 17 years and mine only one!
My 13-year-old was just diagnosed a month and a half ago. So far things are going pretty well, but I'm feeling a little irked over something and want opinions. A few weeks after her diagnosis we were invited to my husband's sister for a family birthday party. She was good about providing safe BBQ food for my daughter--even a separate grill--but then there was a big fat wheat birthday cake. My daughter was able to eat dessert because I brought gluten-free brownies, which other people ate but which were viewed with suspicion after my father-in-law announced to everyone that they were gluten-free. The following week my kids went to stay overnight with my in-laws. They went to a minor-league ballgame and I ended up packing dinner for my daughter because there wasn't much to eat at the game. My mother-in-law asked me to send breakfast food so she would have something. I guess I was just hoping she would have offered to buy my daughter's favorite cereal or something (how hard is it to find gluten-free Chex?) So...on to tonight: Rosh Hashanah. We're going to my mother's house. My in-laws are also coming--we're lucky that both families are close and always spend major holidays together. My mother took care to cook the brisket gluten-free, in a foil pan, as well as potatoes and other stuff. She forgot to get gluten-free gefilte fish but at least she sent my dad out this morning to try to find it. (Unsuccessfully--I ended up buying it myself today.) Then my mother told me that my mother-in-law was bringing some desserts. I know, of course, that they will not be gluten-free, nor will any effort have been made to find gluten-free desserts. My mother-in-law doesn't cook or bake at all, so asking her to make something would be out of the question.
Am I too sensitive? We recently spent a week on vacation with my in-laws and they were willing to go to the restaurants that would accommodate my daughter on most nights. On the few nights they didn't want to join us, they went to places that weren't safe for my daughter. My mother-in-law told me at the end of the trip that she was very happy we were able to eat together most nights--she had thought that we weren't going to be sharing many dinners during the trip because she figured we would need to go to "strange" restaurants that wouldn't serve anything she and the rest of the family would like. I asked her why she thought that and she had no answer.
Are my in-laws (parents and sister) a little insensitive or am I just too sensitive?