I also live in CA and have had to deal with the public school system and their lack of interest in dealing with children with food allergies. Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do legally unless you want to get really aggressive and hire a lawyer to try and pursue the "discrimination" aspect of how they are handling your situation. Certainly it is wrong, but getting the school to understand and do anything about it is very difficult. The way I handled it was to deal with the individual teacher at each grade level and leave the principal/administration out of it as they were impossible to talk to. I wouldn't try to fight a big fight like getting the cafeteria to offer gluten free/allergan free meals...just accept the school won't make big changes, but should certainly be willing to help you in accomodating your child's needs. I would love to see more awareness in the public schools and menus with options for food allergic/special dietary needs kids, but I think that is going to be a long time in the coming and for the short term, not an easy fix to your problem. I found that offering alternatives to how to handle class parties was the best approach. I bought packages of treats that my daughter could have for those impromptu parties where I had no prior notice and just asked the teacher to hand that to her instead of what was being served. For planned parties, I would always volunteer to provide one of the snacks...usually a baked good, and would just make it so that she could eat it. No need to tell everyone they are gluten and dairy free...kids don't know the difference. Just serve them up and your child will not feel singled out or different since they will all be eating the same thing! As far as sending your child to the office for parties, I don't understand at all why they would think that was necessary. If they insist on doing something so out of line as that, I would go to the school board and make the biggest stink possible! That is ridiculous. Contact your local news station and let them know what is going on. I live in a pretty small town, and our local news people love interesting local stories like that!! Hope that helps some.