I was diagnosed with Celiac on October 1st, so I've been gluten-free for 44 days now. At my 6 week follow up with my Naturopath on Tuesday, I told her that:
A. I don't feel any different or better after 6 weeks off gluten.
B. I haven't lost any weight.
C. My depression seems to be getting worse, and mostly, I am majorly PISSED OFF.
People close to me have commented on my mood - I seem to be angrier than normal. I have suspected for several months that my anti-depressants aren't working well enough, and they need to be adjusted or changed (which started the journey that led me to find out I have Celiac).
I seem to be really pissed off at having Celiac. After eating gluten for my entire 43 years and loving/craving bread and carbs, I now can't have one of my favorite foods. I'm pissed that I have to scrutinize everything I eat and drink. I'm embarrassed at having to ask for the gluten-free menu at restaurants and asking the server about gluten-free options and food prep, because I've never been one to be so "high maintenance" when going out to eat. I'm pissed off at the wheat industry for modifying a natural grain so badly that now I can't have it. I'm pissed off at Big Business for being so greedy that they didn't care what happened to the people that ate this new wheat, as long as they got a fat wallet. I'm pissed off that I can't just order a pizza anymore. I'm pissed off that I have to spend double, sometimes triple the money for a gluten free version of something I used to eat.
And I'm pissed off because dammit, I'm HUNGRY!
The Naturopath mentioned I might want to cut out dairy as well, then said we could discuss that later when she saw my face. I think the combination of the death glare as well as being on the verge of a very loud teary outburst told her that cutting out dairy may be too much too soon. You take away my ice cream and someone is going to get hurt.
I don't like to cook. I like to EAT, but not cook. Cooking for one is a chore. I hate prep work, cutting up vegetables and it's just something I've never enjoyed. Plus, I have way too much by the time I'm done chopping and dicing that after 2 days I don't want them anymore, so they go to waste. I'm asking for someone to infuse me with the love of cooking for Christmas, but I doubt that will happen.
Did anyone else feel this angry? Is this normal? I feel like I'm going to be stuck in this stage of Kubler-Ross for a long time. I feel like this is going to ruin my holidays with all the goodies I won't be able to eat. ANOTHER thing to piss me off!
If you felt this angry when you were diagnosed, how long did it last? How did you cope? How long am I going to glare at my friends for enjoing their beer that I can't have? Or that delicious looking calzone wrapped in gluten? I've been told "but you can have gluten-free beer and bread that's just as good." This leads me to believe that Celiac's taste buds die out after not having gluten, because they are NOT just as good, they're blah at best. I'm ready to beat the next person that tells me they're just as tasty because I'm convinced they're just pulling my leg to see how mad I'll get.
Any other anger-infused celiac's out there? Or recovering anger mongers? You'd think I'd lose a lot of weight just with the engery I'm using to be so MAD!
First let me acknowledge your frustrations and feelings….it is very understandable!!! But I can promise you it gets better. Time (to heal) and knowledge (knowing the ins and outs of living with Celiac) are two parts to the puzzle, but the biggest is acceptance. By accepting that you have Celiac, one will not be putting energy and effort into the whys!, It’s not fair! …etc. That energy is better utilized in finding things one enjoys.
Celiac does not define you, but rather is only a small part what makes you….well…you. One of my favorite quotes went something like “Celiac does not define who I am, but only what I eat”. (I wish I remember who said it, because they deserve to be recognized as being awesome).
I was always the guy with the glass half full attitude. However, I actual was excited to finally have some answers. I bought in it ASAP and believe that this has been the biggest difference in how I handled it. Attitude makes a huge difference. You can’t change it, so why put the effort into trying. I have my ups and downs like most people, but now it mostly ups!
This is awesome group to work through every aspect of being a person with Celiac Sprue. I strongly encourage you to utilize their knowledge and support. Good Luck!