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Maisie

Member Since 24 Aug 2011
Offline Last Active Dec 25 2012 03:22 PM
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#725402 Trying To Move Forward

Posted by Maisie on 24 August 2011 - 06:21 PM

So, I'm new to celiac disease. I've been sick for years, but always thought the pain and sadness were normal. It was only when my depression got so bad and my body was falling apart that I saw someone about it. I'm feeling better now with two months gluten free (only a few slip ups resulting in hours of crying and pain) and great anti-depressants. Although it makes being with friends a little awkward when they eat beer and pizza (like we always did in the past) and I can't eat the same, or makes me feel like a freak when I have to halt snack runs to read the ingredients on EVERYTHING. The biggest thing that's been bothering me is all of the things I did before the meds and the diet.
I made a lot of mistakes. I was cruel to people, selfish beyond belief and drank way too much. However, the biggest mistake I made really hurt someone who I've come to care about dearly and who has been nothing but supportive of me as I deal with learning my body again as an adult. I'm afraid it also ruined a chance at great friendship with someone I've come to fall for.
I guess I wanted to vent and ask if anyone else has made such mistakes when they were sick, how can you get past them? How can I remember that the me that was sick, in pain and depressed wasn't the me who is getting healthy and feeling normal for the first time in years? Is it fair for me to even think that? Is that excusing behavior that maybe if I were stronger could have avoided?

Thanks,
Maisie
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