After having coped with celiacs without a support network since birth I figured it is time to get involved in a community. Help others and get some help myself.
I want to keep this brief, but I guess some background history is in order. Had celiacs since 2, cheated diet form age 13-22. Now at 25 I feel like a ghost. Born and raised in Norway in a small town that is a bit "rough" where drugs is very common and most people touch upon it. Been in canada to study a year (after 6 months of sick leave due to gluten issues). Got tons of neurological issues (slurred speech, vision, muscle weakness and loss, problem with cognitive abilities, brain fog, suicidal, chronic anxiety and depression++) in canada and barely made it though the study with the help of marry jay. My celiacs sensitivity is extreme sensitive and I can't take the smallest amount. (the problem was I never directly felt affected by it until it got really out of control, and I started using weed as a substitue to cope with it. Which lead to more eating of what I could not. Downward spiral goes on).
I have now been 9 months solid gluten free where I eat whole foods, clean protein like chicken, skinny beef (no red beefs), fish, etc and lots of fruits/berries/smoothies. Treated myself to a coffee every once in a while, and minimized the sugar intake to almost nothing (a bender here and there with a pack of cookies or gluten-free chocolate).
Weighting at about 56kg (lost about 7kg in 1-2 months) I managed to climb to 60-60.5 where I currently am, which is still little for a 180cm male. Lately I have started to feel more and more sick. My sleep has always been bad, but lately it has gotten worse. Wake up after 8-10 hours, woken up 3-10 times a night, feel like a zombie. Constant head pressure and sinus pains, had diarrhea two-three weeks straight, hard time concentrating on anything constructively and just feel like a lost puppy. Supposed to search for a job, but with depression and all the other stuff going on I can't force myself to get going and end up just doing nothing all day every day.
My food intake has not really changed other than including some green tea, skipped broccoli and some other foods that gave me nuclear gass...
Is it really going to take another year to recover? Don't know how much longer I can put up with this :/
Guess I'm just looking for a pat on the back... even writing this makes me feel a bit stupid. "It's all in your head" type of feeling. Just wondering how I can improve the situation. I'm trying to work out 3 times a week, but after 2 weeks I I gradually just felt so fatigued that I have had to take a week off just to get out of bed.
Getting a bit long, but I feel like adding something.
My friend has a birthday today... and some of my buds are pushing me to come. We discussed it earlier today. So I bought some vodka (haven't had a drink in a long time) and had two small drinks just to get a bit more extroverted before heading up. An hour or two passed and now I feel total garbage. Nauseous, out of body, numb and weird. Just want to go to bed. Obviously none of my friends understand it and usually just laugh and call me a weakling, or pu$$* if I bring something like that up, or that I don't feel like drinking. Doesn't really help to boost the already deprived mind, and makes me feel even worse. What should I do? In canada I had amazing support from newly formed friendship with class mates and people elsewhere. They were all kind, supporting and helpful. Understanding and just ... there for you. My heart is stuck there and I can't start living again. Feel like a lost soul.