Hi Loverbug - yes, I've been down the scabies road and so have many others here. The dermotologist I saw insisted it was scabies because it itched so bad, he said dh does not itch (he was very stupid). My PCP's PA also said it was scabies. I saw another dermo and had a biopsy for dh but it was negative, too late I found out she biopsied a lesion, not a clear area. This doctor said it probaly was not scabies. I live alone, I had virtually no physical contact in the weeks before my rash. Unless you can get scabies from a grocery store cart it would be almost impossible for me to have had it but they insisted that is what it was. No one ever did a scraping. If I had it to do over I would not have done the scabies treatment because now I will never know with 100% cetainty that it was dh I had. It was a GI doctor who told me I had dh/celiac but by the time I saw him the rash was 99% gone. I also suffer from vertigo attacks and because they may be gluten related it is not safe for me to take the gluten challenge so I was told to assume I have celiac and never eat gluten again. My biopsy came back as possible allergic reaction, which sounds similar to your possible medication or bug bite.
At the timeof my rash I had been gluten-free for a year or two but I believe I had cross contamination.
There are a lot of similarities between the two but also some differences. Both itch like the dickens, but dh itches more.. You wrote "so extremely itcy I serously wanted to die." I so well remember thinking that if I had to live like this for the rest of my life I would rather be dead. A classic symptom of scabies is that the rash is between the fingers; it dh it presents mostly on the knees, elbows and buttocks. That's where mine started but slowly spread elsewhere. Mine was exremely bilateral. Almost a mirror image from side to another. Another dh sign is burning a few hours to a day or two before a new area of breakout.
Did you husband or daughter ever break out? If not, it would be quite unlikely that you have scabies, it is really catchy!! The dapsone could definitely be the reason things are getting better.
Can you post pictures?