I was scared, confused, and shocked that I apparently had Celiac for quite some time and never knew. It was overwhelming and I wasn't sure where to start. During my first week after the diagnosis I remember thinking to myself that I had two choices - either mentally fight this because it didn't make sense, or accept this diagnosis and begin do whats right for my body. I chose the latter, got myself a dietician who is extremely knowledgeable about Celiac, starting reading any information that I could get my hands on, and began my journey...
Although I NEVER reacted to gluten foods prior to my diagnosis, since going gluten-free, my body has changed and is now able to react to tell me that I've eaten something it "doesn't like." Now when I get exposed to gluten, my stomach bloats until I look like I'm 8 months pregnant, I get horrible abdominal pains, joints swell up and stiffen, and I have horrible mood swings. Even though I had accepted the diagnosis, THIS confirms for me that I do have Celiac disease and I am now thankful that my doctor was diligent enough to test for it. If she didn't, I would still be unknowingly poisoning my body and would become even sicker in the future.
Yes, this is difficult for all of us to wrap our minds around - if you read the forum, each of us have different symptoms and varying levels of complications from this disease. The silver lining is that we CAN treat it, and we can feel better...I am so thankful for everyone on the forum who lends their suggestions and support, without it I think I'd still be scared and confused.
You had BOTH positive blood work and a positive endoscopy - having both is considered a "done deal" amongst us here. My suggestion to you is accept it for what it is - I feel the more you question it, the more difficult it will be for you. Constantly questioning something, especially your medical health can put a ton of stress on you which you don't need. There are a ton of people on here who I consider to be experts, even more so than my doctors, and its been incredibly helpful. Feel free to vent, ask questions, and share your experiences with us. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts. Best wishes!