FrumpyWife

thank you again for all the replies, especially from winwarp and csw

putting the boys on a gluten free diet is out of the question, their diet is so very limited as it is, so messing around with those foods they DO eat, would not be a good idea we have discussed the varies diet "fads" that surface at length with their paed. psychiatrist in the past and we concluded with him and our dietician, that the benefits are far too anecdotal to put any serious weight on them.

i am still undecided as to how we are going to move forward... personally i feel that it is too much for me to handle, i could not forgive myself if my husband got sick because of my inability to keep his food/environment clean. we will have a few weeks before he gets the results, one of the few drawbacks of the NHS.. everything takes a long time, from initial appointments to getting results.

if we do decide to try carrying on living together, i am sure i will have to be back and figure out what he can and cant come in contact with...

thank you all once again for the replies, encouragement and experiences you have shared with me.

Okay, so I guess the question we should be asking here is, are you committed enough to this marriage to want to make it work? Because if the answer to that is no, you are going to be dragging your feet every step of the way.

i guess you are right... at the moment i just dont think i can do it... or change the kids and my lives to that extent it just sounds way too scary and complicated... and i seem to have reached my post limits so if i dont answer you, im not being rude i just have to do it tomorrow..

thank you to all of you who replied. .. if any of you know of a forum where it is actually the "carers" who hang out, rather than the "sufferers" i would be interested in that too..

the thing that is freaking me out totally is the fact that it doesnt stop at the food... it goes on into everyday life, such as a harmless kiss goodbye, the kids leaving crumbs somewhere.. it is apparently not just a case of keeping a section of the kitchen for him, with his own, personal utensils/pans/pots/toaster/mwave and small fridge etc. (yes, i read the list )

what happens when the dog bounces and licks his face? what happens if the kids accidentally touch his cupboard and then dont tell anyone.. it is going to be hard going to drive these changes into autistic teens brains. DS1 will be easier as he is a stickler for rules, but ds2 is just a bundle of energy who genuinely forgets. my anxiety levels with this whole cross contamination level is going through the roof.

we are also in the uk, so gluten-free stuff isnt as widely available.. i bought a 400g loaf of bread for my husband which cost £2.95 i then had to go and buy the cheapest 50p loaf for the kids and myself...

thank you for the recipes and the links, i guess im just tired and overwhelmed... and yes, there are other issues in this marriage and i guess if all were well, i would have a different outlook or try harder

thank you for your reply.. i guess i should have mentioned that they are not his biological kids so no worries there.. and although i know that a lot of people swear by the diets for autistic children, it it not something i prescribe to. We saw a dietician with both the boys as they are naturally fussy eaters, unfortunately, the only foods ds2 will eat are a certain breakfast cereal, pizza and bread... thats a whole different struggle to be having though.

im already cooking three separate dinners at night, so adding yet another in a sterile kitchen is just getting too much..

my husband has had his bloodwork and endoscopy, they are now "only" following up with a colonoscopy to rule out crohn's...